CHAPTER 9
Alex shifted uneasily as he tried on the jacket that Sparkplug had lent him. The man had told him that it'd belonged to Spike, but since they'd be on the road again in a few days, he'd make better use of it. Alex found it kind of him, as he didn't have a lot of warm clothes, and graciously accepted it. Especially considering most of the village had gathered in the center of town again that night for yet another meal. They had caught some sort of animal, and were currently in the midst of cooking it. Sunstreaker drank an Energon Cube as usual, keeping close to Alex in case he needed him. A few humans, unable to trust someone who had been with the Decepticons so long, avoided Alex, but the boy brushed it off, having expected it.
Sunstreaker didn't take it as well however, finding it to be a harsh thing to do. Though he tried his best to hold back his natural aggressiveness, for fear of getting both of them kicked out. As Alex stood up to get something to drink Sunstreaker followed him. "Everything alright? No one's being overly cruel, are they?" Sunstreaker asked,frustratedly "Because if they are, just tell me and I'll make their MOTHER's wish they were never born." He noted.
"No D-Sunstreaker, it's fine, the worst I get are uncomfortable glances." Alex told him, carefully taking a bottle of water "You don't have to wory about me all the time, I'm fourteen I can handle it myself." He told Sunstreaker, who nodded a bit "Though I think I kinda scare the crap out of Chip." He admitted.
Sunstreaker noticed the wheelchair-bound scientist, who seemed to eye Alex from afar with an expression of suspicion. Sunstreaker frowned a bit, but knew Chip Chase to be slightly paranoid over a lot of things. As such he didn't take it the wrong way, figuring he'd warm up to Alex eventually. "He's just not sure what you think. Trust me, son, he doesn't dislike you, he just isn't sure he totally can trust you." He shook his head "He'll warm up to you, eventually." He then added "I got us a map, by the way, it'll take us a few weeks to reach our destination, but we aren't as far off as I thought." He admitted.
"Well that's good, you'll be getting home sooner then we thought."
"We'll be getting home, or have you forgotten it's your home too?" Alex grinned a little, liking the sound of that without a doubt "We'll stay here for another day or two and return to hitting the road. We need to get back and report there. And given it could take us up to two months, I want to leave ASAP." Sunstreaker explained, making sure that Alex understood his reasoning "And if you want to stay-." He began.
"Oh please Sunstreaker, you wouldn't last ten seconds out there without me." Alex joked, he patted the mech on the side of the leg calmly "I mean come on Dad, where would you be without your-?" Alex bit his tongue quietly "Sorry, that just kinda slipped." He noted.
Alex was off towards the other humans before Sunstreaker could even respond. Sunstreaker could tell Alex had been mortified by calling Sunstreaker his 'Dad'. It had been a slip of the tongue, as Sunstreaker knew it was early for that. But he definitely was understanding, Alex was just as confused as he was, and it had just slipped. "Alex." Alex stopped a few feet from the others, and turned his head slowly "It's alright, it was a slip of the tongue. Don't get upset, alright? I called you my son, if 'Dad' slips out once in a while, I don't care." He noted, though he felt a little awkward about it.
Alex smiled a bit, and nodded his head before he jogged towards the group as the food was being distributed. Sunstreaker sighed, hearing Alex call him 'Dad' had felt unusually good, but he was still not quite ready for it. By the looks of it, Alex wasn't at all ready for it either, and he didn't want the title to be given until they were both ready. Unless, Primus forbid, things become way too awkward and he screw up the one chance he had been given at responsibility. "I'm actually enjoying responsibility." Sunstreaker's optic twitched slowly, unable to comprehend that "There is something VERY wrong with me." He commented under his breath.
Sunstreaker thought back on what Sparkplug had told him earlier that day, thinking hard on it. Was it love? Could he have really, after all this time avoiding it, could he possibly have started loving Alex like a son? That was bizarre for him to think about it, but not impossible, at least, he believed it wasn't. It was beyond anything he could have ever imagined, needless to say. Yet, he didn't rule it out at all, after all, he'd never experienced that, nor did he know how it worked. "Sunstreaker?" Sunstreaker turned his optics down towards Carly "Everything okay?" She questioned.
"Fine. Just thinking." Sunstreaker nodded, then looked down at her "Tell Alex I went on a perimeter check. I'll be back before he heads to bed." He added.
Sunstreaker calmly walked off towards the woods, hoping to clear his thoughts, and feelings. He'd never needed to do it before, but that night, he felt as though it was the best thing he could do. The night air provided a calm for Sunstreaker he didn't quite understand, yet he didn't feel tense, more confused. What did it mean if he really did love Alex like a son? Did he tell him, did he keep it to himself? Did he start showing affection? Which was something he definitely wasn't used to and wasn't sure he was yet prepared for, which did not make things any easier in all honesty.
Yet he did love the boy, and he very well knew that. He was in denial, but he did love him. At first it had simply been like a little brother. But soon after he started taking care of him, that had changed to a Fatherly love. He was confused, but there was one thing he wasn't confused by, and this was clearly it. He stared up at the sky, breathed in deeply and cursed to himself. "Why are you making this so hard for me?" Sunstreaker spoke, as if actually speaking to Primus for once "Put this kid in my care, make me 'love' him, yet I don't get it." He turned to stare down at the ground "Why me?" He muttered to himself.
Yet Sunstreaker somehow knew the answer, it was because he needed to change. His entire life cycle he had never been anything but selfish and he knew it. But with Alex, he now had a reason to start thinking about and putting someone else before himself. Alex had been put in his path to show him another side of himself. As bizarre as it was, this was most likely the case, and even he couldn't deny it. "You have an odd way of teaching lessons, you know that." He added, in hopes that the deity would actually hear him that time.
The sound of rustling behind him caused him to abruptly turn his head, only to find Alex. Who had apparently, or most likely, worried about him, and gone to look for him. "Hey, did... Did I freak you out, Carly said you left in a rush." Alex asked, a little worried, he tilted his head a bit "I know you said I didn't, but I mean... You never need to go for fresh air, seriously. I know you, that's the last thing you ever need." He added.
"You're too smart for your own good, you know that punk?" Sunstreaker jested, he chuckled lightly and smirked "I was just thinking about our relationship. I'm having some trouble comprehending how much it's grown, to be honest." The Golden mech took a small breath, and looked at Alex calmly "I never wanted kids, yet I've come to love of all things a... Human, as a son." He crouched low at this, seeing Alex's bewildered face "For someone like me, it's a bizarre feeling." He admitted.
"Did you just tell me you love me like a son?"
Sunstreaker paused for a moment, realizing he had, and without realizing it too. "Yeah, I uh... I guess I did." Sunstreaker blinked a little and stroked the side of Alex's arm with a forefinger gently "Lucky for my rep, no one else was around to hear that." Alex chuckled a little, still completely bewildered by what he'd heard.
That's when Alex dared to do what no one, even Sideswipe, had dared to do to Sunstreaker before. He stepped forward, and hugged the golden mech's thumb, to Sunstreaker's own surprise. Of all the reactions he had expected from Alex, hugging him was the last thing he had on his mind. With a finger however, he gently curved around, and returned it. Perhaps out of the shock of it, perhaps out of the heat of the moment, or perhaps because secretly, he'd wanted to. "I love you too Sunstreaker." Alex whispered.
Sunstreaker smiled a bit, knowing they'd been holding that in probably the entire time they'd been on the road. It felt as though a great wait hand been lifted from him, finally getting it out of the way, and off of his chest. Carefully, he scooped the young man into his palm, grinning from audio receptor to audio receptor. "Enough with the sentimental stuff. You're gonna make me too soft." Sunstreaker stated, trying to hold in how good his spark felt at that moment "You need to eat, whether you're hungry or not." He noted.
Sunstreaker carried the young man back off toward the village, allowing himself to react. This had all been easier to get through then he thought, yet on the other hand, he knew this would complicate things, severely. The second any of his enemies learned, they'd take advantage of Alex the first chance they got. They'd probably screw over Soundwave, and keep him hostage for revenge, Because Primus knew Sunstreaker had made more then a couple of enemies over the vorns of war.
But he swore to himself silently, there and then, that he'd never let that happen.
...
A/N: Man that was a hard one to write, as I wanted to capture Sunstreaker's emotions effectively. Hope I succeeded. :) Reviews make my day! :D
