I wasn't going to write something for a while, but then I got a review and changed my mind. So thank you for reviewing! :)
The end of this chapter is the reason for the M rating. If you don't like that sort of thing, just skip the ending... First time writing a sex scene, so I'm really nervous about it :p
— Chapter 9 —
After Ted's little speech were he revealed Barney in her room, and the fact that he had apparently covered her room in candles and rose petals, thinking that they would get back together, Robin needed some time away from everybody else.
She needed some time to herself, to get to terms with her own feelings and the way she had acted lately. She couldn't keep dancing around this any longer. She loved Barney, and even though she was scared, she had to tell him how she felt, so that she could know once and for all if there was any hope for them.
If he didn't love her, then that would be devastating, but then she could at least work on getting him back in her life as a friend. Even that would be better then the way things were now, when they weren't anything other then a red hot mess of hurt feelings and missed chances.
So she had decided to rejoin the gang, and look for an opportunity to talk to Barney. To really talk to him.
However when she walked back into the bar after having been gone for over two weeks, the only one sitting in their booth was Sara.
Robin felt beyond disappointed. She had almost forgotten about Sara in her decision to finally be honest with Barney.
She turned around to leave again, not wanting to talk to the girl, but then she changed her mind. If she wanted Barney back as a friend, or hopefully, something more, then she had to learn to deal with the girl. So she walked over and sat down across from Sara in the booth.
Sara looked surprised at Robin sitting down opposite her.
«Haven't seen you in a while.» Sara commented.
«I needed some time to myself… How is everybody?»
«Good. Things are good.» Sara said shrugging a shoulder.
«Marshall and Lily?» Robin asked.
«Their good. We all went to look at baby clothes the other day, they were in heaven.»
«Good. And how's Mark?»
«Also good. He just won a bet against Barney about who could win the most games of laser tag in 24 hours, so he's pretty much over the moon.»
Robin was beyond uncomfortable, but Sara didn't seem to notice at all.
«And… you?»
«I'm good.» Sara raised an eyebrow at her, as if daring her to ask what it was she really wanted to know.
«And… Ted? How's Ted?»
«Don't you live with Ted?» Sara asked looking at her strangely.
«Well, with this whole time to myself lately, we haven't really talked.»
«Riiight…» Sara dragged it out, sounding doubtful of her explanation. «Well, Ted's good to.»
«Ok. Good!» Robin shifted nervously in her seat, not really knowing where to look. Asking Sara, of all people, about Barney just didn't feel right.
«Why don't you just ask about Barney? That's clearly what you want to know.»
«I…» She was about to deny it, but then she remembered her new decision to fix her life. To stop messing everything up and just be honest. And to try to be friends with this girl, who was obviously a big part of Barney's life.
«How's Barney?» Robin asked so quietly that you almost couldn't hear her voice.
«He's ok.» Sara said studying her.
Robin was almost disappointed. Not that she had hoped he wasn't ok. She was just so desperate for news about him, after going two whole weeks without seeing him, that ok didn't really cut it.
«Considering the fact that the only woman he has ever really loved, broke his heart, then stomped all over it, and has now been missing from his life for the last two week's, he's doing surprisingly well.»
Robin was speechless, her mouth hanging open in shock.
«I mean he's been driving us crazy, asking every two minutes about where you might be, or why you've been staying away, but… That's to be expected I suppose.»
And now she was beyond speechless. He loved her? He asked about her? He loved her?
It took her several minutes to collect herself enough to close her mouth, swallow a couple of times, and then actually get some words out.
«I….» «He…?» She didn't say they were good words. Or intelligent for that matter?
«He was in love with me?»
Sara looked her right in the eye. «Yes.»
«How…» She stuttered again. «Aren't you together?» She just couldn't wrap her mind around this situation. Why would Sara be telling her this?
«No, we're not together.» She said it slowly, as if afraid that Robin might not really hear her. Then she continued, when she was sure she had Robin's attention.
«We met at a bar right after the night that you turned him down. I remember thinking he looked really sad. We got to talking, and eventually I went home with him. Then, when we were… you know.» She looked at her with a pointed look. «He called me Robin. So I asked him about it, and he kind of broke down. When he calmed down, we started talking, and he told me the whole thing. We've been friends ever since.»
«But… you sleep together!?» Robin wasn't sure if it was a question or an accusation.
«Ok, so sometimes we're friends with benefits. But nothing more.»
Robin was quiet for a long time after that, just letting it all sink in. He wasn't with Sara. He never had been. And he had loved her. Even if he didn't now, he had at least loved her then. Not only was that unbelievably good to know, but it brought a new hope to her heart. If he loved her then, there was a small chance that he still loved her today. Or at least that she could get him to fall in love with her again.
«I really hurt him» She said, more to herself, then to Sara.
«I know» Sara said.
«How could I do that to someone I love? I love him more than anything, and yet I've never messed anything up so badly before. I just keep pulling back, being to scared to say what I know I really should say.»
«Then don't!» Sara said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. «Don't pull back. Don't be scared. Just tell him how you feel.»
«I'm going to!» Robin announced. «That's what I've been figuring out these last weeks. Why I came back to join the living… I'm going to tell him. I really am. I just want to find the right moment.»
Sara gave her a disappointing look.
«There is no right moment Robin. While your sitting here waiting for the right moment, he could be out meeting someone else! You could miss your chance.»
She was right. Robin got up and ran out of the bar as fast as she could.
She got to his place in record time, and before she had time to think about it she was banging on his door.
He opened it, looking confused by all the banging.
«Robin?» He was clearly shocked by her being there.
«Can I come in?» She asked, out of breath.
«Sure.» He held out a hand, stepping back from the door. «Do you want some water or something?»
«I made a mistake» She announced, ignoring his question. «I never should have stayed with Kevin! I didn't love him, not at all! It's just the thought of being with you… it was so scary, I just let the fear take control I guess.»
«It's ok…» He started. «I get it…»
«No, you don't!» She interrupted him. «I should have chosen you! I should have just been honest about how I felt right away! I love you!»
He was totally quiet, his mouth hanging open a little bit as he looked at her.
«I was just to scared to choose you back then. The thought of us not working out, was just to devastating. I couldn't bear it. Because the truth is that I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone.»
She looked at him with hope in her eyes as she continued.
«And I am so sorry about the way that I have treated you. I was just so angry at myself, at this whole situation that I put us in, and I took it out on you. And I know that it isn't fear, and that I treated you horribly, and I am so unbelievable sorry Barney!»
She had tears running down her face as she tried to explain herself.
«I just… I love you. So much!»
Barney continued to stare at her, and it was quiet for a long time. Just as she was starting to panic, Barney moved. He walked right up to her, and kissed her.
Relief flooded thru her body, and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him as close as she could.
Having his lips on hers again felt… right. It felt incredible. Just like that, her life wasn't so bad anymore. Everything that had felt so hopeless, didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Barney, and the fact that he was kissing her.
After a while, he pulled back and looked at her. As their eyes met, he had a small smile on his face, and she smiled back at him. His hands were still cradling her face after kissing her, and he brought his thumbs up to wipe away the tears that still lingered on her cheek. Then he leaned in and kissed her forehead.
The way he was treating her was so gentle it almost made her want to cry again.
But she didn't. Because the time for crying was over. She was in his arms, and he was pulling her in for another kiss.
This, however, was anything but gentle.
He let his arms drop to her lower back and her hip, as he pulled her as close to his body as he possibly could. His lips were almost crushing on hers, overwhelming her with a deep, passionate kiss.
She could feel every inch of his body, and as he forced his tongue into her mouth, she let out a small moan.
He started moving them, stumbling towards the bedroom. At the same time, his hands made their way around to the front of her shirt, starting to unbutton it. She did the same with his shirt, all the while continuing to kiss each other.
Clothes dropped one by one, as they made their way over to the bed, so that when they finally fell down on it, they were both naked.
Their frantic kisses turned slower now, as they started exploring each other. Their hands went everywhere, desperate to touch each other. Desperate to feel the other after such a long time apart.
Barney started kissing down her throat, at the same time as he moved his hand up between her legs, teasing her.
She breathed out a desperate «Please», and he gave her what she wanted, pressing a finger up into her.
After he moved it in and out a couple of times, feeling how ready she was for him, he couldn't wait anymore. He removed his hand, an positioned himself at her opening, pressing into her.
He moaned deep in his throat, as she cried out «yes», as they finally came together again.
He moved so he was almost all the way out of her, before pressing himself in again. She let her hands slide down his back, ending on his ass, pressing him even deeper into her.
He pulled back from kissing her to look down at her. With his eyes locked on her's he kept moving in and out of her at a steady pace.
Robin felt like she couldn't breathe, it was so intense.
Making love with Barney was always good. Incredibly, unbelievably good. But now that she had just been honest with him and told him how she felt. The way he was looking at her made her feel open. Exposed. Like he was looking right into her soul. She had never felt so open with anyone. And it made making love, really intense.
As they kept going, Robin was moaning and shouting out his name more and more. She was having trouble keeping her eye's open.
Barney quickened his pace a little bit, and brought his hand up to touch her breast. «I'm so close.» He moaned out.
«Me to.» She cried out.
He dropped his head to her throat, and moved into her hard and deep three more times, before coming with a loud cry, her name on his lips.
That was to much for Robin and she came as well, crying out his name and digging her nails into his back.
Afterwards Barney collapsed on top of her, both of them panting.
