Sorry for not updating in so long! but school has been crazy! So this is my longest chapter yet! soooo i hope you like it :)


Chapter 9

Stuck in the Middle

I hate week days. That means going to school and trying to make conversation with people. The first part of my day went pretty well, Natalie was as nice as usual and Ashley was acting depressed and sad. She and Mark probably broke up again. I forgot what this means, of course. So once I stepped into the cafeteria Mark was right beside me asking how my day was.

"Good." Maybe if I answer with one word questions he'll leave me alone.

"So, I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night?" Always the player. But maybe if I actually just go on one date with him and act totally weird, he'll leave me alone. And maybe we can double with Natalie and Kevin. Hmm..

I answered once we were in hearing distance with Natalie and Kevin. "Yeah, I mean, Natalie and Kevin can come too." I smiled my best smile, or the best I could since Edward left.

Mark seemed kind of stunned with my idea, but since I said yes, he'll probably just go with it. "Yeah, totally."

"Great. We can see the new movie, Crosshairs. Okay with you guys?" I asked Natalie who still looked confused and Kevin who looked like he knew what I was doing. He gave me a wink and said, "Yeah! That movies supposed to be beyond scary!

"

"Okay then, its settled." I sat down at the table and took out my Yoplait yogurt.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. Your going to the movies with this Mark guy that wouldn't leave you alone since your first day at Portland and with this girl and her boyfriend. So a double date?" Jake concluded, slightly confused, while he worked on the Rabbit. It was just after school and I was in Jake's shed like usual, watching him work.

"Yeah, and don't forget the part where I'm going to act really weird so he will leave me alone." I smiled at my plan. I thought it was pretty good.

"That's a really stupid plan." Oh thanks for bursting my bubble, Jake.

"No, I already told Natalie and Kevin that I'm acting weird on purpose and they totally understand." I tried to save my plan.

"Whatever."

My brow crinkled up. He slid underneath the car. "Are you mad?" I asked nervously. I cant afford to lose my emergency kit. He put me back together, somewhat.

With a huge sigh, he rolled back out. Grease and oil on his shirt and hands. "No, I just thought we would do something tomorrow. Embry's with the La Push gang and Quil is all depressed that he lost his best friend. I have no one to hang out with."

"Oh." Then it clicked. I jumped up and smiled. "I have an idea!" Jake raised his eyebrows. "Why don't you come too. You could be my back up."

"What? Come on, Ronnie, be serious." Jake smirked. "And by the way, I would probably give the guy a heart attack."

"How?" He flashed me his biceps, like that was all the explanation I would need. "Right.. Please, for me." I smiled at him and sat on the ground next to him.

His eyes narrowed. "Ronnie, don't use that face on me. You know-" Too, late. I made my eyes really wide and pouted. "Oh, fine."

My smile broke free again and I jumped up. "Great, now the movie starts at 7 tomorrow, so come to my house at 6:30, so Mark can pick us up."

"What about those other two?" He asked.

"Oh, their driving themselves."

"Great.." Jake sighed and rolled back under the car.

"You're the best Jake." I sat back down on the wooden crate, continuing my homework.

I heard Jake whisper something. "What?"

"Nothing." The whisper sounded like 'I wish', but I must've heard it wrong. He was the best, in my life, for now.


"Are you sure he's coming?" Jake asked for the fourth time.

"Yes, Jake, he said he was just running late." We were sitting on my porch waiting for Mark to come pick us up for the movies. And just a half hour ago Natalie said that she got the flu that was going around and Kevin did too, so they couldn't come. So now it was just me, Mark and Jake. This evening should be interesting.

Finally, a little silver, beat up, like all the other cars in Portland, pulled up and stopped in front of us. Mark stepped out and smiled at me, but looked at Jake like he was a monster. Haha.

"Hey, Ronnie. Uh, whose your friend?" Mark asked coming closer, but staying away slightly.

"Oh, this is Jake, remember from La Push last year?" I smiled. "Jake this is Mark, from school."

"Hey." Jake said in a lower tone. Wow, men and their egos.

"He-Hey." Mark asked in a poor imitation of a tough guy. "So Are you coming, too?"

"Yeah, Ronnie, invited me along." I smiled innocently and slid into the car. Me in the passenger seat, Mark driving, and Jake in the back in the middle.

The ride was very quiet and awkward. Mark tried to unsuccessfully start conversation. "So want to listen to some music?" He looked over at me.

"Only if you have screamo." Jake replied from the back. I whipped my head around and glared at Jake, he only gave me a wink.

"Be weird." He lipped. Oh yeah.. I forgot.

"Uh yeah, my choice in music is screamo and stuff.." Wow, I wish I could actually lie.

"Oh, well, um, I don't think I have any of that, sorry." And the ride continued in silence.

"So, aren't you two years younger than us, Jacob." Mark asked. My mind jumped out of its numb state.

"Yeah, I'm sixteen, but Ronnie doesn't care. We've known each other for a while." Oh, please, stop. I mentally screamed.

"Oh," End of conversation.


When we finally pulled up to the movies, it was 6:50 and crowded. Great. The line to the tickets weren't too long, but the snack one was, and Jake just had to get a large popcorn. He's like a never ending pit.

Once we finally sat in our seats, me in-between them, the movie already started. I sat uncomfortably with my hands in my lap because both Mark's and Jake's were on the arm rests with their palms up. Wow.

I looked over at Mark, who was the one who was mostly screaming during the first half of the movie. He looked kind of green, I hope he doesn't throw up. Then I looked over at Jake who was smiling at all the stupid fake blood. The movie was really gross, but you could really tell it was fake with the too red blood.

Then I hear Mark gagging. Ew. I looked at him and saw him stand up and run to the exit. Oh god. I looked over at Jake to see him smirking, and hit him on the arm. Ouch.

"Stop it. Come on." I stood up and went out the exit, Jake following.

"Can you go check up on him?" I asked Jake, and sat on a bench.

"Sure, sure." He walked off into the men's room and came right back out 2 seconds later. "He's really sick." Jake said disgusted. He sat down next to me, a little too close. The hallway was deserted since all the movies were going on and only the popcorn at the concession stands were making noise. "It sounds like he'll be in there for a while." As we waited Jacob reached for my hand and grabbed onto it.

"Jake." I warned looking at him.

"What? You like me right?"

"As a friend."

His face turned serious and thoughtful. "It's still the other one, isn't it?" I inhaled sharply. "You don't have to talk about it. I'm not forcing you."

I nodded, looking at the floor. I never want to talk about it.

"But, Ronnie, I'm not giving up. I like you a lot. I've got loads of time."

"You shouldn't waste your time." I'm broken. But the feeling of him always wanting me, for me, it felt refreshing. We never had this conversation, but I knew it was bound to happen sometime. I knew he liked me more than friends. He huge hands still engulfed mine, the warmth felt good.

"I'm not giving up." He repeated.

"There's a problem though." I looked up at him. "This," I indicated between us, "means something different to you than it does to me."

"Well, I guess that's my problem." He continued rubbing his pinky over the side of my hand. "That's a funny scar you have there," he turned my hand to look at it more. "How'd that happen?" His pointer finger followed the almost invisible silver crescent against my skin.

"Uh, I forgot. I have so many, I loose count." I chuckled nervously.

"Its cold." Jake said, pressing lightly against the scar that I will forever have.

Just then, Mark stumbled out of the bathroom looking terrible. He was pale white with sweat all over his face.

"Oh, god, Mark." I jumped up.

"Can we leave?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, of course," I walked over to Mark and helped him walk back to the car.

"Movie too much for you?" Jacob asked heartlessly. Oh boy.

"No, I didn't feel good before the movie even started." Mark glared, but let it drop once we got to the car. Once Jake came back from the concession stand with a empty popcorn bucket, he gave it to Mark, and hopped into the drivers seat.

"Do you even have your license?" Mark asked, unsteadily.

"No, but I know how to drive." Jake rolled down the windows for fresh air for Mark and let the freezing air blow in.

I wrapped my arms tighter around me to keep warm.

"Cold?" Jake asked, but before I could answer, he wrapped his long arm around me.

"Aren't you?" I asked unbelieving.

"No."

I frowned and touched his forehead. His head was hot.

"Holy crap! Jake, your burning up!"

"I feel fine, Ronnie. Don't worry." He shrugged. "Maybe your hands are too cold."

The rest of the ride was spent in silence and me wallowing in my own guilt. It feels like I'm always leading Jake on. Why couldn't Jake just understand and stop doing this. Its ruining our friendship already. We're becoming too close. But I couldn't send him away, I need him.

I drove Mark home in his car, while Jake followed us in my truck. Jake was quiet when I was driving him back home.

"You know you could hang out at my house for a while. Its still early." I suggested while we entered La Push.


"The offer sounds great, but I'm starting to feel weird. I think I might have a fever or something."

"Oh god," Once we pulled into his drive way, I opened my door.

"No, I'm fine, Ronnie. I can walk up to my house." Jake managed a laugh.

I smiled and closed my door. "I'll call you when I get home." I said from my window.

"Sure, sure." Jake waved, but stopped short and walked back up to my window. "This is going to sound really corny, but you know I'll always be here for you right?" I nodded. "Good. I'll never hurt you, Ronnie, never." He stared me in the eyes for a few seconds, then turned around and walked into the little red house.


While I laid in bed that night, after I called Jake and got no answer, I thought about the truth. I do love Jacob Black, but I never meant to. I knew the power of love can break you so easily. I needed Jake, he was like my drug that I'm addicted to. He fixed everything, by just being there with me. His smile, scent, eyes, everything. I love him, but I knew he would never be enough, but I also knew he would never give up on trying either. I'm just too selfish to give him up.


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