Love Hina – Boarding House Blues

Fanfic

Chapter Nine –

Nearly midnight, Hinata Tea Shop

After having a late-night cup of tea and closing the Tea Shop, Haruka walks over to the bus stop, congratulating herself on a successful first day of deceiving Keitaro. (I really think everything going to work out for Keitaro and the girls. It's not going to be the problem I thought it would be, getting them to pretend they are men so that Keitaro would let them rent the rooms.)

A flash of lightning in the distance causes Haruka to look up. (hmm, looks like there's going to be a storm tonight).

She contemplates several minutes on how she will break the news to Keitaro, but can't come up with a convincing way to do it without hurting his feeling for lying to him. The bus pulls up, ten minutes late. Haruka enters, nodding to the night driver. "Sorry we're running a little late miss, please take your seat, we have to rush to get back on schedule."

Keitaro, exiting through the rear door, doesn't see Haruka. As Haruka sits, she looks out the window and sees Keitaro, a large notepad and books under one arm, walking towards the Tea Shop, and Hinata-sou as the bus pulls away. (Oh Spit! What's he doing back here tonight? I have to warn the girls!) "Driver, stop! Please! I need to get off."

"Sorry ma'am, I can't do that. We're already late as it is, so you'll have to wait until the next stop. Then it'll be ten or twenty minutes before the next bus comes through to get you back, though."

(Ten or twenty minutes? That'll take me at least forty-five minutes to get back to the dorm! God, in five minutes, anything could happen! I hope Hikari doesn't mind late night house calls; because I'm afraid we're gonna need a doctor before the night is through!)

Just after midnight, Hinata-sou

Keitaro, still dirty after the practice on the training boiler, decides now is as good a time as any to try fixing the one at the inn. He gets his tools from the shed, and, with his notepad and repair manuals in-hand, proceeds to the boiler room.

After twenty minutes of grunting and squeezing himself underneath the boiler, Keitaro discovers the problem. A corroded switch isn't making contact. He retrieves a burnisher pad from his toolbox and gently cleans both sides of the switch. Replacing the panels he had removed, he re-sets the breaker, and the boiler rumbles into life!

A rumble of distant thunder reaches his ears as he walks out of the boiler room. (Great! I was hoping to use the hot springs to clean up, but not with a storm so close. At least now we'll have heat and hot water. I need to clean-up. I want to make a good first impression in the morning when I greet my new tenants,) Looking at his clothes, he thinks (I'd better throw these in the washer tonight. I've got clean clothes and spare bedding in the laundry room. I don't want to disturb the new guests, they're probably asleep by now. I'll just sleep in one of the other rooms tonight.) As rain starts to lightly fall, he's thankful he fixed the leaks (at least it'll be dry.)

Thirty minutes after midnight, Hinata-sou

The girls removed the 'flashy' clothing they wore, and place them in the washers. They go to the manager's room, set out their futons, and discuss their situation. Motoko, having retrieved her sword, as much for protection as for her own comfort, selects the position closest to the door in case of an emergency their first night in this new residence.

With the rumble of the approaching storm, no one hears the faint sound of the rear door of the inn being opened and closed.

Naru says "I'm really looking forward to trying that hot spring in the morning. I haven't been to a one since I was a little girl, and I've almost forgotten how good they feel."

Mutsumi agrees "We have hot springs in Okinawa, but nothing that looks as good as the one here. And we can use it every day." She giggles "Oh my, I think we are going to be spoiled here."

Kitsune "That's the kinda things I like. A hot spring, a young land owner, and free rent for life!"

Pillows converge on Kitsune from five different directions. The girls all quietly play-wrestle for several minutes. The sound of thunder grows slowly louder as they tire. They sit or lay on their futons, remarking at their good fortune. The scattered clouds allow brief shafts of moonbeams to light the room.

Downstairs, Keitaro notices that someone has already placed clothing in the washer. (I'll take them out and dry them, just in case they need them tomorrow.) As he unloads the washer, he wonders (Why anyone would put leather pants in a washing machine!) He carefully places them and a matching jacket across the drying rack so that they'll retain their shape as they dry. The bright yellow vinyl suit, orange cape, and kilt he removes next strike him as very odd. But, when he sees the pink and green pantsuit, his mind makes an uncomfortable leap (Oh god! Haruka rented out the inn to a bunch of, of…). Shaking himself, Keitaro manages to calm down (These could have been, uh, costumes! Yes, of course, they just left their old place, and their friends must have held a going away party! And everyone had to dress like, well, like whatever these are. Musicians, maybe?)

After having decoded, he thinks, the mystery of the residents' strange clothing, Keitaro washes his face and arms, then changes into his pajamas and robe. Grabbing a spare futon and blanket, he quietly goes to the kitchen and looks in the refrigerator. He sees that all the snack trays he prepared are sitting empty in the sink. Smiling, "I hope they liked them, it was the best I could throw together in such a short time." Reaching down to the bottom shelf, he pulls out a small covered bowl of rice. (I'm pretty hungry, but I don't want to make any noise that'll disturb the guests. I'll just take this for a midnight snack). Another rumble of thunder echoes across the hills.

Motoko says, "Haruka's nephew is a fine manager, worthy of our respect. He has been more than generous in allowing us, albeit under false pretenses on our part, to move in as his guests. It would not be proper to take advantage of this situation for your own private wish to avoid paying your fair share of the rent."

"The stick waving mamacita ain't tellin' no lies, Kitsune. Besides, we ain't girls as far as he is concerned, and it's gotta stay that way for a little while til Haruka says so." 'Lamba' grabs his hairpiece and presses 'his' cheek to re-activate the voice changer "Else we'll end up walking the highway flat on our backsides whistling Dixie, and get scatterized to the four winds o'change."

Giggles follow as the other girls do the same.

'Shinto' agrees "Aaauuuuu ! We have to try and act like men, or he'll throw us out. I like it here already, and I don't wanna have to leave."

"We are most fortunate. The fates have allowed us to remain together. There must be a higher purpose directing our paths." Nabeshin nods wisely to everyone.

"Nabeshin, that sounds remotely like something I would say. Are you perhaps making fun of my speech patterns?" replies a smiling Muzuno, as a wayward pillow bounces off Nabeshin's head. Lamba glances innocently around the room.

Hearing voices, Keitaro realizes that his guests are still awake. After placing his things in one of the other rooms, he returns to the manager's room.

Shimura scolds Nabeshin. "Don't talk that way. Ya'lls voice is scary enough without spouting philosophy when the lights are out!"

Matsuka rolls over, and finds 'himself' face-to-face with Nabeshin "Oh my, I never noticed, but the moonlight makes your eyes look so dreamy." Reaching out, Matsuka touches Nabeshin's face and loudly kisses 'him'. Mmmmm-smack! Tama-chan agrees "Mew mew!"

Keitaro, his hand raised to knock, hears the last exchange, and freezes outside the door. (ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!) Unable to knock, he asks "E-excuse m-me, but am I interrupting 

a-anything?" He sees a shadow cast on the other side of the door panels. Someone is coming towards him!

Everyone giggles nervously. Nabeshin, embarrassed, thinks Muzuno has spoken. Moonlight behind 'him', 'he' leaps out of 'his' futon, steps towards the door and answers playfully "Now why would you t-think you're interrupting anything, sweetheart? Don't you know you are my one, true love?" A flash of lightning momentarily shows 'him' that a figure is just outside their door, hand raised as if to attack! Nabeshin points and screams "A BURGLAR!"

Motoko leaps to her feet, kicking the door panel to the side: her blade in her hands she cries "Foul, deceitful, perpetrator of evil! Shinmei-ryu no Zanganken! God's Cry Attack of The Stone Cleaving Sword!"

Naru rears her fist back to release a powerful Naru-punch.

As a vortex of chi energy swirls around the blade, Keitaro stares bemused at the huddled group of guys in the room, holding on to each other like, well, like girls would. Shocked further at the sight of the dark roiling energies moving towards him, he whispers,"Oh heck!" Lightning splits the sky, its blue glow illuminating everything in the hall. Backing away, he says "I'm sorry! Please! I-I'm Keitaro Urashima, I'm your Manager!" His hands involuntarily move in an attempt to protect his injured ribs. Unwittingly, he leaves himself wide-open for..

The Naru-punch smashes squarely against his forehead, knocking off his glasses, throwing him across the hall, and flipping him over the rail. Hanging motionless in the air for a split-second, he is hit full in the chest by Motoko's chi energy, flinging him though the window, sending him bouncing off the stones to land in the hot springs.

Naru and Motoko turn to each other, a look of panic on their faces as his words register in their minds "OUR MANAGER?"

Kitsune "Oh, spit! You've killed the manager! We're gonna go to jail for sure!"

Su, holding up a remote control, points it out the window and presses a button, "Not if there ain't no body. You cremates your dead in Japan, right?"

"Aaauuuuu ! Do you think he's hurt bad? Aaauuuuu!" Shinobu wrings her hands in worry.

The Mecha-Tamas fly out the hole in the wall.

"Oh, my, did you see Kei-kun's face? He is so cute!" Mutsumi remarks, her hand to her face. Tama-chan says "Mew"

Haruka, having heard the noise of the combined attacks as she reached Hinata, rushes upstairs. Looking at where the girls are staring, she turns and sees the hole in the window. Arms crossed, she turns back and asks "Please tell me you didn't just blast my nephew through that wall?" The 

girls bow their heads. "I was afraid we'd need a doctor tonight! Now, go find Keitaro and bring him to the couch in the common room, I'll get Doctor Ishido here as quick as I can."

As they move towards the stairs, Naru suddenly spins towards Su "Oh god! Wait a second. Su, what did you mean by 'cremate'?" A sudden 'woomphf' and the feeling of a warm pressure wave passing through the air stuns everyone into a mad rush down the stairs and outside.

They reach the hot springs and look for the manager. Steam, heavier than would be usual for a warm evening, hangs in the air, along with what smells like barbequed dog hair. Motoko points at the deepest part of the springs. They are amazed to see Keitaro, smoke rising from his scorched robe, pulling himself out of the water, obviously injured. "H-how could he be moving? Naru-san, between my technique, your punch, and Su-chan's Tama-Attack, he should not have regained consciousness for at least several hours, let alone be able to move!"

Naru rushes to the edge of the springs to help the manager. The others follow, and they lift and carry him, Naru cradling his head, feebly protesting that he is alright, into the dorm. As they lay him on the couch, he puts one hand to his side "What..hit..me?" he asks in a pained voice.

Motoko bows to Keitaro "Urashima-san, please forgive us. We did not realize you had come in. We thought a thief was in the dorm."

Naru kneels next to the couch, holding his hand "We didn't mean to hit you, but between the lightning and everything, we, that is.."

Keitaro looks at them, with a strange look in his eye at the way these guys are holding his hands. He gently pulls his hands from their grasps. A trickle of blood runs down his cheek to his hair. His breathing rapid and irregular, he speaks in short sentences "It's ok..not your fault..mine, should've knocked first" In spite of his pain, he manages a weak smile at them.

Keitaro grimaces, placing both hands on his chest. He explains through clenched teeth, "Forgot.. to tell Haruka.. moved in here.. my room... yours was damaged in storm.. I couldn't turn you away.. hope.. you don't mind sharing..sorry I startled you..don't worry..I'll be ok"

After Hikari arrives, Haruka rushes her to Keitaro's side. "Keitaro, it is Hikari. What happened?"

He tries to rise to speak to her. He spasms and coughs, a small trickle of blood appearing at the corner of his mouth. Nara raises her hands to her face, stopping when she sees his, Keitaro Urashima's, blood on them.

"Kami! Keitaro, lie still! Do not try to move! Haruka, help me, he's coughing up blood, and from the pattern, he's coming up from his lung. Make sure he doesn't try to get up! Keitaro, are your ribs still hurting?" He nods affirmative, trying to hold back a coughing spasm, to little affect. More blood can be seen foaming in his mouth as he grits his teeth against the pain of Hikari's examination. "Lie still. Don't try to speak."

The girls, with the exception of Naru, step forward, their worry for their manager increasing as Hikari checks over Keitaro Her words echo in their head (Are your ribs STILL hurting?). The girls realize that, not only did they attack their manager, but an injured man as well.

They cringe as she examines his bruises. Hikari gasps as she slowly opens his pajama shirt to examine the bandage, poorly re-wrapped, from his previous injury "Keitaro, I keep telling you to let someone help you bandage your chest, you cannot do it alone!" As Hikari removes the bandages, she turns "Please, could you girls wait in the kitchen? This is not something I'd recommend you observe."

As they sit silently, they hear the occasional grunt of pain as the Hikari and Haruka tend their manager. After setting his ribs and re-wrapping his injuries, Hikari gives him a sedative to ease his pain and help him rest. Haruka helps her assist him upstairs to the manager's room.

Returning to the common area, Haruka tells the others they can come back out and sit, and that she will make some tea, since they could all use some. Shinobu ask if she can help, and follows her into the kitchen.

After everyone is seated, Hikari explains how she has started treating Keitaro for bruised ribs last week. They wince as she describes his current injuries.

"He now has a broken rib, a lacerated lung, his left shoulder suffered a dislocation, he has a sprained right ankle, and he's bruised almost everywhere else. That's in addition to the previous rib injury I treated. I must insist that he be kept from performing ANY tasks for at least two weeks, at least, and a minimal workload for another month. He really should have been relaxing after he injured his ribs, but he told me he had to get the inn ready for his guests."

Looking around the room, she smiles "I apologize, but I tend to be blunt. But, he has to be made to rest! No working, no studying! Nothing! Period! Am - I - clear - on - that?"

Haruka nods and the other murmur their agreement. "I think we can get by without some work being done for a while, seeing as Keitaro has already done so much around here. If I have to, I'll come up and take care of things while he gets better."

Sadly, she says "As for studying, well, that's no longer an issue. Keitaro quit the university prep school two weeks ago. He said he just didn't have the grades to make it, and that running the inn would take up most of his time anyway."

She looks up the stairs "There was something else that happened there, something involving another student, a girl, but he doesn't talk about it much. Which is so sad, because, for the first time since he was a child, he was willing to admit feelings for a girl. But I gather he hurt her feelings, or she hurt him and he took all the blame on himself for whatever happened."

She adjust her cigarette holder. "Otherwise, he would never have quit, even with running Hinata. Keitaro won't admit it, but he's using being the manager as an excuse to give up on Toudai. And that's not like him at all. Keitaro is the kind of person who keeps his promises, but too often at the expense of his needs."

Hikari sips her tea, and smiles her "I remember how he told me he was glad you found some residents so quickly, Haruka, and how good it makes him feel to get the place fixed up."

Looking over the rim of her cup, she says "However, for the rest of you; you may think you are all very clever, but you aren't fooling me! You may drop your disguises. If you're worried about Keitaro finding out, don't. He's not going to wake up from that sedative I gave him for at least eighteen hours."

The girls, amazed to have been found out so quickly by a stranger, remove their hairpieces and turn off the voice changers. Haruka asks "What gave them away, Hikari?"

Placing her tea cup on the table, Hikari flashes her a haughty look "I am a doctor, you know. I have been trained to recognize the human form and all its subtle nuances, and to be able to take various bits of information and put them together to reach scientific and logical conclusions."

"Besides," she holds her hand to her mouth and giggles "if this is a men's dorm, why are all of you obviously of the female persuasion in build AND sitting around wearing female underwear?"

Crickets chirp.

"…Spirits! Our male clothing is in his room. Someone must retrieve the it from Urashima-san's room!" Motoko looks at Naru.

"Don't look at me! What if that sedative doesn't work? What if he wakes up? What would he think?"

Kitsune pulls at the hem of her nightshirt, which barely covers the bottom of her panties and stocking tops, "I can't go back up there, not looking like this! If he sees me like this, we're doomed!"

Haruka interjects, "It may not be a question of 'if' he sees you, but possibly of 'how much' has he already seen. I know he was rather badly injured, but Keitaro has always been a very observant individual. It's possible he saw what you all are wearing, even through the pain he was in. And with those voice changers going, and him having expected male residents anyway, he must be one confused young manager about now."

Kitsune says "But, uh, I think we're gonna have a bigger problem. I don't think Keitaro saw much before Motoko and Naru clobbered him. Most of the lights were out, and there was barely 

enough moonlight to make out who was where in the room. But I'm pretty sure he heard some of our joking, and I know he musta heard Matsuka, I mean Mutsumi, play-kissing Naru!"

Haruka, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter what Keitaro sees when he wakes up now. He's sure to have decided that I've filled Hinata with a bunch of lecherous, transvestite frat boys. However that doesn't change anything else. No, you girls just have to continue with the plan. You need remain calm and pretend to be men long enough for him to get well enough to go home. I'm sure he'll put down anything he 'may' have seen as his imagination in any case."

Motoko "Haruka-san that may not be an option for us. After we carried him back in after our unwarranted attack on his person, your nephew told us that he lives here now, and that the manager's room is his room. It is inconceivable to continue with this charade in this situation. We must admit the truth, whatever the consequences!"

"Keitaro's staying at Hinata, and living here? Kami! Why didn't he tell me before? Now, Motoko, listen to me! We can't let him know what we're up to, especially now since he's living at Hinata. I'll think of something. Don't forget, you have nowhere else to go. Oh, and as for sleeping arrangements, Keitaro was all set to stay in one of the other rooms tonight, so he wouldn't disturb the rest of you."

Kitsune, suspicious "I thought there weren't any other rooms ready?"

"There aren't. Your new manager was going to stay in the end room on the second floor. It's protected from the rain, but it's still very drafty at night when the wind is blowing. He tried to get Hikari and me to put him there so you wouldn't have to move your things from his room, but drafts are the last things he needs right now."

Hikari "Yes, with the wind and rain, that room is much too drafty for comfort, especially in his condition."

"He'd already put a futon and a bowl of rice in there before going to see if you all were settling in ok. The rice was still covered, and if I know Keitaro, has hasn't stopped to eat anything all day, trying to get things ready here…And before the sedative kicked in, he told me that he already fixed the boiler before he went upstairs to meet you. He wanted to make sure you all would have heat and hot water before morning."

Motoko stands. "Then, we shall stay in the room Urashima chose, and allow him privacy while recuperating. It is the least we can do, seeing as Urashima-san has shown us nothing but kindness, even after we struck him. Our discomfort will be our punishment!"

Naru,"What about our clothing, Haruka? Do you have any extra at the Tea Shop?"

"No, all the men's clothes I had I gave to you already."

Shinobu and Su, huddling with Mutsumi and Tama-chan, sit on the couch hoping someone comes up with a plan. Shinobu whispers "If only our new clothes weren't in the washer." She looks up as everyone, suddenly silent, stares at her "Aaauuuuu ! Me first!"

The girls rush to the laundry room.

Haruka "Poor Keitaro!"

Hikari, having sat quietly drinking tea through most of the conversation, rises "I must go now. I'll come back this afternoon to check on Keitaro, and see how his medicine is handling the pain. However, I must ask you to promise me something, Haruka."

Rising as well, "Anything, Hikari. What is it?"

Grinning, "I'm going to come to the Tea House for lunch before I check on Keitaro. I just have to hear the whole story about what's really going on!"

Hikari leaves with a wave to Haruka.

After about five minutes, the girls return to the common room, carrying their dried clothes.

Haruka "I thought you were washing those. They're still dry, good, you can still put them back on."

Naru "We did wash them. B-but it looks like your nephew's already seen them. They were in the dryer and on the drying rack when we went to the laundry room!"

Mutsumi "Oh, I wonder what Kei-kun thought of my yellow suit?"

Kitsune says "He's sure to think we're a bunch of sissy boys now! I need some sake!"

Haruka tells the girls she already went up to Keitaro's room, and quietly moved their futons and suitcases to the hallway for them. Bowing, they thank Haruka for her efforts. She tells them she'll be back in the morning, and for them to get some sleep. Keitaro isn't likely to wake until after lunch, according to Hakari, but they needed to be prepared just in case.

"Just don't forget to keep your disguises on, or close by if you are in your room. We don't need Keitaro losing any more blood, do we?" The girls don't quite understand Haruka's comment. Haruka bids them all good-night.

As the girls go upstairs to their new temporary room, Naru thinks, (What was that Haruka said about her nephew? Something sounded familiar about his story, but I can't put my finger on it.) Naru lets her thoughts drift. (Oh, well, it'll come to me sooner or later. Probably nothing important, anyway.)