A/N – I just want to say that I am deeply thankful for the support I have been receiving! I really want to do the story justice and hopefully taking a little more time writing each chapter will make sure you all keep reading and enjoying it.

Chapter 9. Harsh Realizations

Naomi's POV

Something large and warm was pressing against me when I woke from my early afternoon nap. I was back to waking in a foul mood since waking up with a smile on my face had proven a one-time occurrence. Realizing this large, warm thing was a person I turned my head, expecting to see Mum's face. She had been here earlier, as always waiting for me to wake up in the morning and she had left shortly before I decided to rest my eyes for a bit. Everything was back to usual, no beautiful visitors to brighten my day or keep me from afternoon-napping. Well, luckily at least one thing was different about today.

"Afternoon, Naomikins", Cook said, a smile spreading from ear to ear. In my hazed state, having just woken up, the morphine pump working at a high dose rate, I was momentarily confused at seeing him. Right – Cook, burgers, Emily.

From the very first time I locked eyes with her, I knew I was in trouble. The attraction had been instant and I had felt something I hadn't allowed myself to feel in months – hope. Everything about her had intrigued me and I had spent the better part of the week thinking of her and hoping I would see her again. When I woke up Friday evening to her enticing, affectionate eyes, I felt that same wave of hope and excitement rush over me and when her wonderful lips had pressed against mine, it merely confirmed what I already knew to be true. Practically on my deathbed, I had fallen for someone literally at first sight. This, by the way, was just about as far out of character for me as allowing this disease to best me. I was powerless to stop either of it though.

Back during the first year of Uni, it had taken me weeks to feel at ease around Sarah and months for me to accept that for the first time in my life, I needed someone other than myself in order to function. After only one brief meeting and an even shorter chat about renal scores and hot dates with twin sisters, I already felt more comfortable and relaxed in Emily's company than I had after months in a devoted relationship. The way she sat at the foot of my bed, talking, laughing and caressing me softly had seemed like the most natural thing in the world, like she had been doing nothing but that her entire life. It was obvious that Emily had a good heart and she was probably always nice to strangers and patients alike. I did however, strongly doubt that caressing, kissing and jumping into bed with either stranger or patient was an everyday event or part of her job description. Everything about Emily had charmed and captivated me and foolishly, I had allowed myself to hope, to feel and to fall.

The realization that she was in a relationship shouldn't have taken me by such surprise. Someone as remarkable as Emily was surely off the market, regardless of sexual orientation. But it had and it was careless of me. It wasn't so much the mere fact that she was off limits nor was it the fact that the boyfriend seemed to personify the 'tall, dark and handsome'-phrase, making the two of them a truly stunning couple. No, what made the whole situation sour was the realization that Emily wasn't the compassionate person I believed her to be. Leading a terminally ill patient on was cruel, selfish and vicious and the realization that Emily was capable of such things had left me devastated. Nothing had ever hurt me more than having the immaculate feeling of infatuation, hope and utter adoration ripped from my grasp.

On any normal day, waking up with Cook next to me would have been the result of passing out drunk after a party. I would give my right arm, no, I would give all of my limbs in fact, for that to be the reason for him occupying my bed but, alas. He was in my bed because he needed to feel like I wasn't dying, that I wasn't going to disappear in a few months, or weeks depending on how my body handled the increased stress of the tumors. Regardless, I felt relieved to have him by my side, even if it was sort of a violation.

"Are you really going to make a habit of watching me sleep?"

"Actually, from now on, I intend to make it my business to watch you at all hours of the day." I was about to laugh and make a stupid joke about showers and sponge baths when I realized he was being serious. He literally wasn't going to let me out of his sights. I turned to him, placing my head on his shoulder and shuffling closer.

"Cook", I spoke softly, almost whispering, "you know you can't stop this from happening, right? You can't fix this." He answered by simply putting his arms around me and pulling me closer. He kissed my forehead once and gave me an additional squeeze before relaxing a little again. It felt oddly nice to lie there with him, comforting to have my head on his shoulder and just enjoying being with him. These past nine months were the longest I had ever gone without seeing him and even before realizing I was sick, I was worried that he would come back from the war, changed somehow. That we would have grown apart and that special bond we had shared for almost a decade would have unraveled. Lying here with him now made me realize I was an idiot for thinking Cook would ever leave my side. It seemed he would have to sooner rather than later though, as a nurse showed up to help me take a quick shower.

I once again insisted on dressing myself and was surprised that Mum wasn't back when I was done. She knew my whole routine down to the minute and as much as I never thought I would say this, I missed her. I needed her, even if she still drove me crazy from time to time. Cook seemed to read my expression. "Gina's getting coffee with one of the doctors." He started grinning at me and I instantly figured out which doctor it was.

"Kieran again, then." I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. "God, they are like teenagers! Can't they just admit they fancy each other and get to it already?"

"I know… She literally couldn't stop talking about him on the drive home last night, even though I had no idea who the man was", Cook explained, still grinning. "And you should have seen the way she lit up when he walked in a couple of minutes ago!" He shrugged, "didn't take a genius like that Emily-girl to put two and two together!"

I winced at the mention of Emily's name but shook it off and crawled back into bed, cuddling up to Cook who was still lounging there. I hadn't told him about what had happened between me and Emily or how I really felt about her and for some reason, I was still reluctant to. At first, I figured that if I told anyone about her kissing me and the special attention she had been giving me, she might find herself in serious trouble. Now my reluctance was personal since opening up to him about it would only allow the pain of her cruelty to linger. It would be better to just ignore everything and start focusing on spending as much time as possible with the two people I loved most in this world. The only two people I loved, really. But contrary to popular belief, Cook was no idiot and where I was concerned, he could read me like an open book. He was the first person I came out to, the one that had helped me come to terms with what it meant and he had done all of it while being madly in love with me. If there ever was a testament to unconditional love, that epitomize it. There were times when I had hated being gay simply because I knew that had I felt the same way about Cook as he did about me, I would have found my soul-mate at fifteen.

"So, Blondie", he said and shifted down a little, lying on his back with my head on his shoulder, "are you going to willingly tell me about her or I am going to have to force it out of you?"

Emily's POV

In college, I did an assignment for my A-level biology class entitled 'the damaging effects of excessive alcohol consumption'. It comprised of a thorough step-by-step metabolism of ethanol into its toxic metabolite acetaldehyde. It's partially to blame for feeling like shit the morning after a drunken stupor. There are additional reasons for the headaches and bloodshot eyes that hurt when you move, most of which have to do with sleeping with your mouth open and your reflexes being so distorted that you actually sleep with your eyes half-open. Despite having all of this precise and decadent knowledge of alcohol, I had still acted like a vodka bottle was the solution to all of my problems last night.

I woke up literally falling out of bed, my arm dangling over the side and my head halfway into a well-positioned bucket full of stomach acid, presumably and hopefully mine. I lifted my heavy arm and rolled onto my back. I was in my own bed, dressed in an oversized t-shirt, last night's clothes nicely draped across a chair by the window. When did that happen? I felt the mattress shift and turned my head, half expecting to look into Jeremy's deferent eyes. Instead, I turned to face the beautiful creature that was Effy Stonem, lying next to me and watching me intently.

"Morning, drama queen". She sounded tired too, her voice raspy. She had that ever insightful eyebrow raised in my direction, humor written across her face. How it is humanly possible to look that picturesque after only a few hours of sleep and several shots of vodka, is beyond me. It's not like she was a complete ogre last week and all of a sudden thanks to a fairy godmother was remade into this stunning creation currently popped up on one elbow, eyeing me curiously. The truth is, I had always found her stunning but somehow I seemed to appreciate it a little more at the moment.

Dreamily studying Effy's features came to an abrupt end as I felt a wave of nausea and rolled back over the side of the bed, ready with my head over the bucket. Rolling around didn't really help the situation as terrible pain filled my head, resonating at my left temple and causing the room to spin – and not in that nice, earthshattering way I had otherwise been experiencing lately. After a couple of minutes, the worst of the nausea had passed without my having added further to the bucket volume.

"You alright, Ems?", Effy asked, concerned this time as the apparent amusement at my awful state having passed. It didn't feel like I would be able to speak without risking losing control of my gag-reflex, so I waved an arm back at her, hoping it would suffice. I felt her get out of bed and was thankful when she walked around and kneeled down in front of, brushing some hair out of my eyes. "Poor thing, I can't remember ever seeing you this badly hung over." She held out a glass of water for me but since it was currently hard to swallow my saliva without retching, I pushed it away, disgusted. Effy put the glass back on the nightstand and slipped down to the floor in front of me. My eyes were dry and hurting so I decided it would be better to simply close them, even if it did make the room spin.

I woke up with a jolt, thinking it had been mere seconds since closing them. Effy had magically disappeared and so had the bucket of stomach acid. My head was pounding and my throat felt like someone had poured a pound of sand into it. I would know because James actually did that once while on holiday in Normandy. He was only five years old at the time and had no idea that sand shouldn't really go down someone's throat. Vaguely recalling something about a glass of water, I reached for the nightstand, took hold of it and drank in small sips, not willing to risk retching simply because I was too eager to quench my thirst and appease my dry throat. I realized most of the early morning's nausea had disappeared and I felt well enough to get to my feet.

I found Effy and James lounging on the couches in the living room. James was also wearing the same thing as last night, so I assumed he had spent the night on my couch. "Where's Katie?", I asked, shocked at the sound of my almost undetectable voice.

Effy shrugged, "She had some things to sort out, so she asked me and James to stay with you last night." From her evasiveness, I instantly understood what 'things' Katie needed to sort out and the nightmare of the situation hit me hard. I hadn't forgotten, not really, but while in a haze of toxic alcohol metabolites and lack of proper sleep, you tend to brush aside anything that might cause you additional pain, even it if is mostly of the emotional kind. I panicked.

"Effy, where is she? Effy, you fucking tell me right now! Please, please tell me she hasn't gone to see Naomi!" I was practically begging, my voice failing me halfway but whether it was due to emotion or the fact that my voice was barely audible was up for discussion.

Effy got up and took hold of my shoulders. "Emily, calm down for fucks sake! Of course she hasn't, she wouldn't do that." Effy paused to see if I was indeed calming down.

"She's with Jeremy", James said matter-of-factly, as if there were nothing remotely odd about that scenario, even given present conditions. "She texted about half an hour ago, wanted to know if you were awake", he shrugged.

"Why?"

He shrugged and looked hesitantly in Effy''s direction. Unlike James, she had no intention of evading my question.

"Jeremy wants to pick up a few things and I think he would rather not have you here when he does." There was a hint of accusation in her voice and I remembered why I had been so sure she would verbally attack me last night when I had revealed what had happened. "And it's none of my business but why is it that the first thing you thought of was Naomi? Shouldn't you be more worried about fixing your relationship with Jeremy?"

Effy wasn't big on adultery, I knew that. Her parents had split up because of her mother's infidelity and she had yet to forgive poor Anthea for it. What I had done wasn't really comparable to months of creeping and sleeping around but I wasn't sure if Effy agreed with me on that. Her reaction was the one I had feared the most because she felt so strongly on the subject. My betrayal wasn't a physical one, though but thinking back on it now, I wasn't sure a physical relationship was any worse than what I had done. Naomi had occupied my mind since the day I met her and even if it wasn't physical relationship and never would be, my infatuation with her persisted and Jeremy literally was the farthest thing from my mind when I was around her. If that doesn't constitute cheating, I'm not sure what does.

I sighed and slumped down on the couch, burying my head in my hands. Fuck! What have I done? Effy was right, obviously. I should be busy trying to make it right with Jeremy and abhorred, I suddenly realized I hadn't even apologized to him. I had been too busy feeling confused and destitute at my strong feelings for someone that wasn't Jeremy.

Effy seemed to regret being harsh with me and slipped down next to me. "Emily, I'm not trying to make you feel bad." I turned my head, it still buried in my hands and regarded her through the gaps between my fingers. I saw no malice, only genuine concern. "I'm just trying to help you gain some perspective."

I contemplated her words for a minute. "Tell Katie he can come round in an hour, if that's alright?" I finally said, accepting full blame of the situation. I wasn't sure if 'picking up a few things' meant that he was going to leave me for good or if he simply needed time. As far as he was concerned, Naomi and I had only shared that one, chaste kiss and he was thankfully unaware of the full extent of her power over me. If I could just get her out of my head while getting Jeremy to forgive me, I could get back to living my life the way I always had. I just needed to stay away from her. I'm just not sure I can…

"Is it too early for that Sunday pizza, little brother?" He shook his head in enthusiastically and it felt like he was twelve again. I smiled.

"I think I know just the place", Effy answered, a smug look and crooked smile spreading across her stunning face.

Can anyone guess where that place might be?

Thank you again to all followers, favorites and reviewers! I had a really long day today and didn't really have the energy to finish the chapter but after receiving a couple of really wonderful reviews that made me all giddy again, I just couldn't resist!