I don't like to preface chapters, but I'd like to here in order to encourage anyone who hasn't read the previous ones to do so before reading this or the following ones. The story builds upon itself through each chapter and if you start in the middle, you miss alot. Hope you enjoy, and review as well !
Chapter 9 - Behind The Door
She slid the paper out of her pocket like butter. Unfolding it, she had second thoughts. Just what was Jack doing in the hatch last night? She raised an eyebrow. Regardless of her reservations, that door drew her like a magnet - she knew she could not resist. Her hand trembled. Thirteen left, twenty-five right, four left. The dial clicked upon each turn cycle and then a thump. The door was unlocked. Her imagination beat wildly. Could it be this simple? Pondering this, she flicked her eyes across the hatch and swallowed hard. Holding her breath, she turned the knob.
"I have a chore for you today!" Jack announced gingerly as he entered the room.
She jerked her head around, obviously startled by his voice. "What?"
He smiled quirkily, opening his mouth, but she interrupted. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. "
She had been daydreaming again. Staring at that ridiculous map above the blast doors. She had decided that was what it looked like - a coarsely charted map. She had wondered if the small x's were the clues to the treasure (apparently marked by the large question mark.) There were probably more conventional maps.
Jack waited for her, carrying a basket of clothes in his tattooed arms. Somehow, he looked out of place. Here was this man with a military haircut, sleeveless shirt with tattoos on his biceps, holding laundry. Not to mention he was a doctor by trade. No, not much about Jack made sense.
"Well, I thought maybe we could find something more useful for ya besides being glued to the wall like that." He jested. "Today is laundry day. The washer's ov... "
His voice trailed off as he set a distracted gaze behind her. She drew her eyebrows in. What now? She turned around and there he was in his shiny suite wearing this big grin. She sighed. Apparition man was getting to be annoying. Obviously, his intention was to show her the map. What else could he want? Maybe Jack was on to something. Maybe this was some sort of projection from her own mind. What could she possibly be trying to tell herself? Wait a minute ...Jack!
She flipped back around. Jack was staring, jaw dropped, toward the blast doors, eyes wide and glazed over. She slowly nodded, pressing her lips together in a gesture of satisfaction. She was not imagining anything nor was she hallucinating. Straightening herself, she met Jack's eyes with a hint of "I told you so " in her voice. "You see him, don't you?"
His answer was slow at first, but then flustered as he stammered. "What? I don't know what you're talking about. "
"No. "She moved around him and then planted herself just behind his shoulder. Then she pointed at the blast doors. "You do know what I'm talking about. You're not going to stand there and tell me you don't. I turned around because of you. You see him! "
She turned in a semi circle with her face buried in her hands and hissed out a cry of frustration. What was he trying to do to her? What reason would he have for lying? She looked up for a response, but found something else. An approaching shadow crossing the edge of the doors. Locke casually entered, stopping just under the blast doors - imposing himself right over the man. Now this was an eerie sight. The two of them merging into one figure; the map above their heads.
Anyone walking in would have mistaken the three of them for statues. Sarah sighed. Her life had certainly taken a strange twist!
"What's goin on?" Locke questioned.
Jack shook his head. "Nothing. We were about to do some laundry. "
"Uh, yea ..." She said, cutting a sideways glance at Jack. "Laundry."
He shot a definitive look at her that said she should not dare utter anything more. He turned towards the washers and motioned for her to follow - which she did, keeping her head down, as a loyal puppy.
He was surprised upon learning that she did not know how to run the machine, but instructed her reluctantly. She listened. She paid attention as he directed her to the detergent and pointed out the settings. She heard every syllable. She noticed his somewhat rushed and distant tone. How his jaw tightened. His eyes flicked back and forth. Brows low and concentrated. He had seen the man, and probably the map as well. This brought her both relief and confusion. Why would he deny it?
As she shoved each piece of clothing in the washer, she wondered if Henry was having his breakfast. Maybe he was out on the beach as she had been a day or so before. She had not gotten a good look at him then. Sayid and Locke were blocking her view, but she heard his voice and recognized it. That calm and controlled … yet … disconcerting tone.
After laundry, Jack served her a plate of fish and chips, which she accepted readily. She ate a little, drank a bottle of water and then propped herself on the cot. Jack had not returned, which meant it would be just she and Locke for a while. Earlier in the day, she had heard a woman's voice, though she had not seen anyone. On the other hand, it could have been just be another apparition - nothing would surprise her at this point. She would soon regret thinking that.
She watched Locke meander around the dining area, noticing something she had not before. He walked as if he were new to it. Like someone getting their land legs back. She shrugged thinking perhaps she might be just a tad overly observant given her current living quarters and daily activities. Now might be as good a time as any to crack open that book. The deep creases in the binding said that it had been broken in long ago. She studied the cover ... The Brothers Karamazov.
She was about to turn the page, when she noticed indentations within the paper. She ran her finger lightly across them. A circle with a long line leading to another circle. She walked across the room and grabbed a led pencil. Turning the point on its side, she passed it across the page and marked a thin smudge over it. The drawing came out perfectly. It was a map. It marked the starting point - which in all likelihood was the hatch. Then it traced a path around a mountainous area, up to the spot where the second circle was. The second circle, at the top, indicated the place where the balloon would be.
She raised her eyes and found them resting in the direction of where the door would be. She had nothing to link him to it, only the same queasiness in her stomach as when she heard his voice. Yet, the feeling gnawed at her. She could not ignore it. Somehow, they were connected - the map and this man. She knew what she had to do. She did not like it and she had plenty of second thoughts. She needed it do be done and over. It was time to see the man behind the door.
She bade her time, waiting ever so patiently for evening. She would be alone then. Neither Jack nor Locke came down often at night. She had been submissive doing everything she was asked to do. She threw in extras as well for good measure. They would assume she had turned in for the night. When everything was quiet and still, she made her move. She crept to the door. She reached for the paper and drew out nothing. Where was it? She searched her pockets without success. Gnawing at her cheek, she eyed the lock. Grumbling to herself, she frowned. No sooner had she resolved to give it up, she raised her eyes to it. The odds near to impossible that she would get it right, she started dialing again. She turned the knob - Left, right, left. She held her breath. She was not dreaming this time.
The sound of the door unlocking nearly caused her to yip in surprise. She closed a hand over her mouth glancing to the left and right, then over her shoulder. She didn't have time to ponder what the odds were of her actually successfully cracking a locke that way. Instead, she focused her energy on turning the knob. This was the moment.
He was piled over in the corner like a rag doll, with arms and feet tied together. He was dirty, clothed in dark army green, and gagged with a black clothe. Hair sticking up on his head. At first glance, he was not so threatening. Jack must have gagged him after the night she heard him through the door. When he turned his face towards her, a bolt of fear jolted her. His razor sharp blue eyes pierced through her, making the hairs on her arms stand up. He did not move. Did not try to grunt out a plea for help. He quietly sat there, looking at her. She stood for a few minutes looking right back at him, until she decided her next move.
This man was disturbing … scary even. Though she knew this, the moth to the flame feeling caused her to do the unthinkable. She approached him. He watched her, expressionless. Their eyes locked again when she squatted down to his level. She quickly glanced away, then choking down her reservations, reached behind his head and yanked the gag free. He turned his eyes to hers and spoke in a disappointed tone.
"You shouldn't have done that Laren."
She rose, gawking as he continued. "Is this the price for coming to your rescue? For wanting to bring you back home? "
She backed away, eyes wide and mind reeling, knowing she had made a huge mistake. Eyes narrowed, he tongue lashed her.
"You let him bait you. You've probably killed us both now. Is that what you wanted Laren? "
She shook her head, back stepping towards the door. "What? "
Henry's face bore the hint of a knowing smirk. She turned, but did not get far. Jack was there in the doorway, glaring down at her. He squared himself and then spoke in an unattached tone. "Now we know the truth."
Feelings of betrayal and shame mingled together within her. Henry was right. Jack had deceived her. How stupid she had been thinking they would carelessly drop the combination on the floor knowing she would find it. Jack had been playing her, baiting her along the way, getting her to trust him. She walked right into it blindly. How stupid of her! How careless!
Jack turned to the outside room. "Get her out of there. "
Sayid smirked as he reached out and grabbed her. She felt the pinch of his grip as his fingers wrapped around her arm. He yanked her out of the room. Locke pushed the door back into its place and shot a glance over to them.
"Sit her over here Sayid." Jack instructed him. Sayid drug her to the booth and shoved her down. There they were - the three of them - Locke, Jack and Sayid. She wondered how much of this had been real - if any. Had they meant for her to overhear the conversation between Jack and Sayid about her and the man? They definitely meant for her to see him that day she and Jack returned from the beach and they meant for her to find the combination to the door. And that is why he was tied. They assumed if she were one of them, she would use the combination, unlock the door and free Henry. But, if he were tied, she could do little to nothing before being caught.
Jack sat with both elbows on the table, studying her. "I was hoping you wouldn't do it." He admitted. "I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Sorry about the games. It was worth it though, to see if we were right. "
She sat stiffly staring blankly into space, ignoring his words. He had lied to her. Her heart overwhelmed with feelings of betrayal, she could hardly breathe. Sayid standing by her seat, Jack across from her and Locke on the other side, she was cornered, aware that there was no out this time. She could not run, she could not fight and she could not trust anyone, so she shut herself off. She withdrew into that dark place she had tried to escape. That hopeless void deep within. It frightened her, but it was better than what they had to offer.
"So "Jack smirked. "You and Henry have met before? "
He could have stared holes through her, but he was wasting his breath talking. She had shut down and no amount of coercion would draw her out. Jack turned his head to Sayid, and then shook it as he puffed out air.
"Your people started attacking ours. " He observed. "You can see why we're all a little … edgy. See, here's the thing. That plane ... the one you were on. It had a flight manifest. Remarkably, we have it. Starting to get it now? Remember when I asked your names? Yours and your mothers ? Well, that wasn't just for curiosity. I had hoped you were telling me the truth. "
He let his words hang for a moment.
" But, you weren't. You've been lying since day one. "
He shuffled in his seat.
"Guess whose names were not on the list? Mine was. Sayid and Locke's were. "
He paused again, but never lifted his eyes off her.
"You weren't on that plane. Neither was your so-called mother. I've known that for a few days now. Surprised? "
He drew out a long breath and studied her face.
"No answer? You're not going to talk to me anymore ...Sarah? " He stressed the name as if mocking her. She stared through him as he talked. She heard his voice, but she did not care what he said.
"You wanted to know what we're going to do with you. Well, we don't exactly have a long-term plan. But we can't trust you now, I can't trust you ... not now. "
With a nod from Jack, Sayid grabbed her arm, pulling her up from the seat. "You can't say I didn't warn you. I said I was watching you. "
She let Sayid yank her up … she did not resist. She let him push her forward through the bunker until they came to a very small, dimly lit room. One single, coverless light bulb protruded eerily from the ceiling. The plain walls were a creamy, almost yellow color. No windows. It looked to be about 6 feet in every direction.
As they approached the doorway, something within her broke. The images began to play across her mind again. The stench of a cramped room with cold damp floors. She felt as though something was pressing on her chest, pushing it in. Her palms began to sweat and shivers rippled through her. She found herself struggling against Sayid's grip. She heard herself yelling and screaming without having any control over her own body. The frightened person inside her took over and she became an observer. She managed to free her arms and threw them against the doorway trying to resist. When she could not do that anymore, she flailed them around hitting Sayid in the chest and shoulders.
"I can't go in there!" She wailed. "Please, please don't put me in there. I can't go back. Please! "
He held onto her. His grip was stronger with each attempt. She begged him to not put her in the room. He gave her a final push and then slammed the door shut. The sound shuddered her. She stumbled back and fell against the wall. Bouncing up, she flung herself against the door proceeding to beat it with her fists, screaming. The walls were closing in on her ... She felt them. She continually flung her body against the door for what seemed like hours. It did not budge nor give way. Her face was hot from exertion. Sweat poured down her cheeks. Her hair became a mangled mess and her fists were sore and raw from the beating. Twisted images ran through her head. Stiff, musky odors filled her nostrils and strange sounds of whirring and metal clashing in her ears.
This was nearly as bad as the place in her head. That dark, dingy place. The cold hard place that she feared but could see merely glimpses of in her mind. That place was worse than death. Her screaming dissolved into dry whimpers and her arms lost their strength. Her body slid down across the door as she crumbled down against it. Her sobs echoed within the room. She was certain that she was being punished for something she must have said or done. Death was not good enough. She would spend her life suffering and longing to die, but not ever be relieved. This must be what was happening to her. Lying there, darkness over took her and her eyes closed. And as sleep pushed itself in, hope seemed out of reach and if it were, she would not have had the strength to reach for it.
This was fate - behind the door.
