Daryl POV:

I could see Carol heading towards the guard tower, she didn't look upset she looked, kinda happy. Maybe my apology was what she needed. She was standing closer to the wall as she passed the others, probably didn't want to hold a conversation yet, can't blame her.

I could hear her walking up the stairs, she seemed hesitant, maybe she was still scared of me. I would apologise when she sat down. She slowly walked through the door, placing the bowl of food down next to me.

'Ya can see it down you know.' I didn't turn to face her, just carried on watching them get ready for the run.

'I know, I just didn't know if you would want me here.' I could feel her slowly sitting down our legs slightly touching, it was like a bolt of electricity running straight through my body.

'I'm sorry.' I mumbled not quite able to look her in the face.

'Would you have really hurt me?' That strung because I really didn't know, would I? I think I wouldn't but right them I couldn't have been too sure.

'I don't know,' I looked her in the eye, she seemed better than yesterday but her eyes were still puffy, 'I hope I wouldn't, I didn't mean to hurt ya.' I could see her subconsciously rubbing her wrists where I had grabbed her, there were slight bruises from my hands, I couldn't have felt more guilt.

'I care you know that right? I was just angry and I didn't know how to make you feel better.' She gave me a slight smile at that but went straight back to staring down at Merle, he better not try to steal her from me, she was the best thing I got.

'When are they going?'

'Soon, they want to leave me in charge, might be gone for a week or something wanna get more supplies before winter, you're gonna have to help me keep everyone busy, hate talking to people.'

'You will be fine at leading, you take care of walkers and guard duty I can handle the rest.' With that she stood up and left.

I watched her walk away, the room suddenly feeling cold without her there.

Merle, she walked to Merle. He seemed to enjoy the attention too. I was fuming I know I shouldn't but I felt, jealous. She hugged him, I never got a hug, there he is and she hugs him like it's fucking normal.

He looked too happy about it too.

Merle POV:

I had just finished packing up the truck when I saw Carol leaving the guard tower, I really hoped baby brother had said sorry to her for what he had done. I could see her rubbing her wrists they were probably sore from hitting him and him holding her.

She looked at me and smiled, I couldn't be rude and not smile back, I really liked the little mouse she hand spunk. She didn't just give up, she had lost everything and she was stronger than ever.

Once she saw me smile she started coming towards me, I thought she was going to slap me or something. But she didn't she just jumped up and hug me. I had never been hugged by a woman before, usually just had a quick fuck or something before kicking them out. But this felt nice. Jesus fucking pussy, I would of smacked my head if my arms weren't wrapped around Carol. I could feel her crying, I shushed her rubbing her back, this felt too good, it was like she actually cared about me.

'Thank you Merle, he said he didn't know if he would hurt me or not, you saved me.'

He fucking admitted he was gonna hurt her, the fuck he been playing at, that boy had issues.

I hugged her just a little bit tighter as she cried, didn't know if I was gonna be able to leave her alone with him, but I really hoped they worked it out.

Maggie and Glen were both staring at me now as I just kept hugging her. But I just didn't wanna let go, she felt like family, only people who ever cared about me were my mama and little brother.

One didn't need me anymore and the other well she had been burned to a crisp.

If Daryl didn't pull himself together, I might try to win this little lady over, she didn't see me like everyone else she gave me the same treatment as she did everyone, giving us importance.

I could feel her pulling away she looked me in the eye and smiled, really smiled, it reached her eyes even though tears were still falling from them, then she kissed my cheek, it felt like fire burning through my body.

She let go and walked back into the prison, I could hear little brother scoffing from all the way down here, I didn't do anything it was little mouse and if she was gonna get in trouble for it while I was gone I wasn't gonna leave. Maggie could get her plently without me, Michonne or someone else could go.

I quickly followed Carol to ask if she could manage.

'Beth, where Carol gone?'

'she was heading back to the library said she need to find something.'

I stormed off, it was like no one actually cared about this woman, just left her alone when she needed people most, hell I knew what it felt like to need someone.

Fucking hell she need from the library anyway bloody woman, didn't she have enough bad memories in there?

I walked into the library and there she was hunting for a fucking book. Gave me an idea what to get her on the run though.

'What book you after?'

She looked startled as she looked at me.

'The secret garden, by mom gave it me before she died, kind of makes me feel better you know?'

I knew what she meant, when my mama died I kept her lighter, probably didn't help me much growing up.

'What's so important about the book?' I didn't know her mama had died, probably explained why her daddy could beat on her so much though.

'She died when I was born, she wrote in it a few days before she died, it's like a mantra to keep fighting I guess, didn't want to get her down.' I knelt down whipping a stray tear from her eyes, maybe we did have more in common than most, she was fighting to make her mama proud, so was I, when she died I made a promise I would keep little Daryelina save, I might not have done the best job stopping daddy but I was now here.

'Ya'll gonna be okay while I go on the run?'

She looked up and nodded, I really hoped she was being honest with me.

'Of course I will be Merle, you go out and mend some bridges.' She gave me a weak smile and turned back to help her look for her book. I was definitely going to try and find her that book.

'I could always pop to your house and get you the book if we're near, you know, just tell me where you live.'

Oh Merle, you can't Remerton is miles away, you don't have the fuel to spare and you can't risk the walkers for a stupid book.'

She didn't look at me as she spoke, her voice was wavering, if all she needed was that book to make her feel better I would search everywhere to find it her.

Daryl POV:

'I could hear Merle talking to Carol, I wanted to know if they were planning something behind my back, maybe she was already with him she just didn't know how to tell me.

Maybe my sleep deprived head was just talking crap. I stopped outside the door, listening to them talk, she had been looking for a book last night. I was about to walk in when I saw Merle crouch down and start whipping her tears, why was it so easy for him? He doesn't care about her like I do, he hasn't been through what we had.

Her mama died, but she is so kind gentle, she could have learned that from being beaten all the time. I could maybe take her to Remerton, wouldn't take too long, me and her on the bike, could be there and back within a few hours she could get some other things she wants from home. Remerton is only a small town, not maybe walkers if many like Carol just upped and left.

Their conversation started to be over so I decided it was the right time to walk in.

'Merle, they wanna go now.'

He looked straight to Carol didn't even answer me, fucking piece of shit.

'Go on, I will be fine, have fun.' She smiled at him, he doesn't even care, can't she see that, he is just looking to get between her legs, my fists clenched at that I could feel my jagged nails cutting my palm.

He hugged her, he fucking hugged her, I could feel blood now, slowly trickling down my fingers as I tried to control my anger.

Then it was over, he kissed her head took one last look at her then he was gone, treated me like I wasn't even there.

'You want a hand?' she looked up to me, and gave me the smile she kept just for me. She might care about Merle but it wasn't like the thing we had. This was deeper.

'No it's okay lets go say goodbye to everyone, it's going to be quiet at night without Maggie and Glen.' Then she just walked past me, I know I had upset her, I said I was sorry, she should have known I wouldn't hurt her. How could she when you said you might stupid. Shit.

'Carol, I'm sorry, please, I wouldn't hurt you I just Merle said that your scars were old like ours, then you wouldn't talk to me, or look at me, I didn't know what to do, I just lost my shit.' She smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.

'I forgive you Daryl, I just I don't know how I feel.'

Well it was now or never, I grabbed her face carefully not to hurt her like I did the night before, she smelt like honey and flowers, I couldn't imagine what she would taste like.

'Well boy you gonna say bye to old Merle' Fuck prick did that on purpose. Fucking knew what I was gonna do. I mumbled curses under my breathe as I followed Carol and Merle to where everyone was saying goodbye.

Don't see why we did this big good bye thing, wasn't like people didn't come back, only time we lose someone on a run was Merle and that was his stupid fault.

Maybe I could set everything up her and take Carol out, I would do anything to make her forgive me.

Carol POV:

I don't know if I want Merle to go, he really seems to care about me, I don't completely trust Daryl right now, what if Merle didn't come, would he hit me? Rape me?

I hope to think he wouldn't.

Merle seemed different, he actually wanted to help me. Then he hugged me, I know I hugged him earlier but I never thought Merle Dixon would hug me and wipe away my tears.

Maybe Merle just needed someone who cared too, Daryl told me about his mom dying when he was little, and I knew about his father, Merle was just the same, he had walls that needed breaking and maybe I could be the woman to break them.

I couldn't believe Daryl had gone to kiss me, I know he doesn't care about me like that, he's my best friend and some point through the winter I had decided that that was how we would stay and I would tease him constantly. He was easy to tease, but if he thought he should love me out of pity then that was enough. I have lived my whole life being pitied I didn't want it from him too.

I laughed inside my head, two Dixons both caring for plain old Carol.

Took the end of the world for someone other than my beautiful baby girl to care about me. Hell must be freezing over.

I hugged everyone good bye, it was like a tradition now after what had happened with Glen and Maggie, we never really knew what was going to happen. People are just as much of a fret as walkers, maybe even more of a fret. Rick was just about to get in the truck with Merle when I stopped him.

'Rick, can you try to get some teething rings and gels when you're out, Judith is in so much pain and I think they will help.'

He looked at me and smiled, pulling me in for one last hug, he truly was like a brother to me, I was so glad he was coming back from the loss of Lori.

'Thank you, for everything, I know I don't say it enough.'

He didn't need to say thank you to me. I pulled away, giving him one last smile before I knew the tears would fall.