Title:
So I Can
Author:
hpim
Date:
8-3-08
Fandom:
Bleach
Characters:
Nnoitra Jiruga x Neliel
Tu
Challenge - Table:
365 - A
Prompt:
009 Forward
Rating:
PG
Disclaimer:
Don't own Bleach
How pitiful was he, he thought, to die by someone else's hand but hers. He spoke to her of warriors and death and defiance, but he could never admit that he really just wanted her to end it all. Maybe the reason he had been upset when she'd transformed back was because he realized for once- there were definitely stronger. She had not been winning, maybe he might have actually won. There was both glee and sadness in that sentiment. He hated how confusing it was to think about everything, he hated that he was thinking about it now.
He hated that he was dying at the hands of this shinigami.
He had thought for a long time he had gotten over it. He had grinned and smirked and declared his victory and he had been happy with it- he had been happy with trying to prove it. But unfortunately she had come back. She had come back and he realized just how little he had moved on. If anything, Nnoitra had craved her indifference to waver even more. He wanted her to have changed enough to admit it- to admit anything.
Now he was falling, he was only going to live for a few moments. He could only look to her this time- he could only look to her and be angry at her for not doing it himself.
But she looked at him. She looked at him with a look she had never deemed him worthy of. For a moment she had no reason to lie, because she couldn't think at all to be judgmental or hateful. For once, she was looking at him. She was moving her lips, she was speaking his name, and she was sad- sad to see him go.
And he- could only move forward.
Forward to the day they might meet again, and maybe understand it all just a little better, maybe be to a place where emptiness didn't define them. Maybe after awhile he would see her again- in a place where there was nothing to be ashamed of.
He could only hope that moving forward would get him there.
Finally he fell.
He moved past the hopeless life of a hollow.
