Nyxxyn I'm glad I could ease your mind. I find Alison fascinating, and wanted to include her in the story, but I knew people would get worried when she showed up even though the last thing I want is to derail Paily. Thank you for reading, and for commenting. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope you continue to.

Guest Yeah, it's rough. But, they're making progress.

Guest Thank you.

Ale I'm glad that you weren't worried. So, I went in a slightly different direction with Paige's reaction to finding out Emily and Alison talked, hopefully you'll still enjoy it. Thank you for reading, and for you review. And, I'll update as soon as I can. I wish I could do it more frequently. I'd put up a new chapter every day if I could. Also, I've read hints she might be coming back. I really hope she does.

Guest: I didn't want anyone to get worried. Alison served her purpose, and she might appear again, but she's not a threat to Paily. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

Sulven Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I wish I could update once a week. (Hell, I wish I could update every day.) I'll do my best to get chapters up as quickly as possible.

Guest: This next chapter includes Paige's reaction. I hope that you like it, because it's not quite what you predicted. The slowburn is my favorite part to write, so no worries there. Thank you, for reading and for your review.

Chapter 9

"Lunch was a good idea," Paige once they had settled into her car and were heading into the restaurant. "I'm glad you suggested it." She glanced over, catching Emily's eye and offering up a wide, sweet smile. One that made Emily's stomach flutter and a warmth to course through her.

"I'm just happy you could make it," Emily said, returning the smile. Paige's gaze returned to the road, but her smile lingered, as did the warm, fuzzy feeling in Emily's chest. Instead of watching the road, the passing of the other cars still making her nervous, Emily turned her head to watch Paige, studying her as she drove. She looked comfortable, confident behind the wheel, limbs loose, her hands gripping it carefully, but lightly, her fingers tapping an unnamed tune against whenever they stopped at a red light. She was a cautious driver, slowing to a stop at stop signs instead of just rolling through, glancing at the intersections rather than just gunning through them, even if the light was green. Emily felt almost at ease, riding in the car with her. The lingering discomfort almost making her feel guilty, even though it had nothing to do with Paige's skills as a driver.

She studied Paige's features, taking in the way she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips when she took a turn, her appraisal slowly drifting away from watching Paige's reactions as she drove to simply watching Paige.

She was really quite pretty, Emily allowed herself the observation. Objectively, of course, she amended. Her skin was a smooth and unmarred except for a faint scar above her eyebrow. Emily made a mental note to ask her about it later. Her eyes were a deep brown, the color of rich hot cocoa, and were just as warm and soothing. Her lips were full and pink, looked soft. Were soft, Emily acknowledged, a blush heating her cheeks. Loose tendrils of hair framed her face, and before Emily knew what she was doing, she had reached out and tucked them behind her ear. Paige glanced over at the contact, smiling softly. Emily ducked her head, blushing, and unable to make eye contact. She felt Paige's gaze on her for a long moment, though Paige didn't say anything. When she sensed Paige's eyes had returned to the road, she resumed her study.

As if sensing Emily's eyes on her, a blush darkened Paige's cheek and she dipped her head slightly, though she said nothing. Thankfully not calling Emily out on it, as she kept her eyes on the road. Emily smiled to herself, taking it as permission to continue her perusal.

It took a while but Emily realized that they weren't on the highway back to Rosewood. Instead of the pervasive whine of a bunch of cars on the road and trucks whizzing past them, shaking the vehicle, Emily heard only the faint hum of their tires against the blacktop and the low rumble of the engine. She peeled her gaze away from Paige and glanced out the window, confused, because they should have been out of the city by now.

"I thought it might be nice to take the scenic route," Paige's voice interrupted her survey of the unfamiliar landscape around her. The spread of the buildings and the significantly less busy streets indicating they were on the outskirts of the city, on one of the service roads. "It'll take a bit longer to get home, but there's not as much traffic as there is on the highway. And with what you said about being cooped up all day, I thought you might prefer it."

Without Emily saying anything, Paige had been able to intuit she would be uncomfortable taking the highway, and instead of making a thing out of it, she'd simply found a workaround.

Emily nodded, moved, and speechless not just at the gesture, which was incredibly thoughtful, but also at the simple, matter of fact way in which Paige approached it. Not trusting her voice, she reached over to squeeze Paige's knee. The contact of her hand with Paige's body, even with a layer of clothing between them, sent a tingling warmth up her arm. Before she could pull away, Paige had reached down and laid a hand over Emily's. Without thinking about what she was doing, Emily turned her hand, and laced their fingers together. Only once she had done so did she look up at Paige, seeking her approval. Paige was staring down at their joined hands, an unreadable expression on her face. Just when Emily thought she was going to pull away, Paige squeezed lightly, and returned her attention to the road.

With hardly any traffic around them, only the occasional car going past on the other side of the guardrail, Emily was able to relax, and enjoy the drive.

"Tell me about your day," she requested softly, remembering that Paige had hinted at a slightly hectic morning. Though, it was more than that, really. She was curious about the details of Paige's job. Maybe it was the glimpse into her own life this morning, but Emily wanted to know more about who Paige was, when she wasn't tending to Emily.

"You really want me to bore you with all that?"

"I won't be bored."

Paige's expression was skeptical, so Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Promise."

"If you do get bored, let me know?"

"I won't, but okay."

Paige still looked dubious, but she began to fill Emily in on the details of her day. Emily sat back in her seat and listened. She listened to the words Paige was saying, but more than that, she listened to the cadence in her voice, the way it rose in pitch and sped up when she was excited about something, like an achievement one of "her kids" had made, and how it lowered when she was frustrated. It was clear that, despite the sometimes irritating bureaucracy she dealt with, and the fact that she was still low man on the totem pole that she loved her job. So because of that, Emily loved listening to her talk about.

"What did you do today?" Paige asked, once she had covered her morning, up until she left to meet Emily and her parents for lunch.

"Snooped around the house, mostly," she admitted with a faint laugh. It really was a strange sensation, to pry through your own belongings. "Nothing strenuous, I promise," she added, noting Paige's brow furrow and her lips turn down in a frown. "I rifled through a bunch of the closets-"

Paige groaned lowly. "They're such a mess. I'm sorry. I've been meaning to clean them out for a while."

"They're closets. They're supposed to be a mess."

Paige snorted.

"What?"

"We don't fight often, but one of the things we bicker about is clutter. You're always on me about cleaning up the garage, the closets, the basement."

That didn't sound like Emily. Her mom was always telling her to pick up her room, especially her closet. Which she often said looked like a clothes bomb had gone off in.

"Oh my God, I turned into my mother."

"There are worse people to be."

Her words might have been more comforting had they not been uttered through laughter.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Are you done?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry." But, Paige was still giggling.

Huffing, Emily shook her head, though she wasn't truly annoyed.

"Did you find anything interesting?"

Emily shrugged. "Just, stuff, you know? I read through some of my old text books, up in your office." She glanced over, studying Paige's reaction to see how she really felt about Emily spending time in there, but Paige merely nodded, her gaze flicking over briefly before returning to the road.

"What'd you think?"

"Kind of interesting. I can see why I chose to go into that. And, um, I went online, checked my email, my Facebook, all that."

"How was that?" Paige asked, the grip on her hand tightening faintly.

"Weird. I had messages from my boss, and a bunch of people I don't know. Except, I do know them. I just don't know that I know them." It sounded ridiculous to her own ears, she could only imagine how it sounded to Paige.

But all Paige did was squeeze her hand again, humming faintly in sympathy.

"And…uh…Alison called," she added after a moment of indecision. "We talked on Skype for a while."

She studied Paige's face carefully for a reaction, trying to watch her eyes, her brows and her lips simultaneously for even the smallest twitch or downturn but Paige actually smiled faintly, and nodded.

"Yeah? Did you guys have a nice chat?" She glanced over, then back to the road, nothing in her words, or her expression to indicate this was upsetting news to her.

"I guess." Emily shrugged. Her conversation with Alison had left her unsettled, and that feeling hadn't really gone away, it had only been pushed aside in favor of other distractions.

"What is it?" Paige was frowning now, though Emily sensed it had less to do with Emily's conversation with Alison as it did with the abrupt shift in her mood.

"Nothing."

"Em…"

"No, really. It's nothing…specific at least. It's just, this is all so…"

"It'll get easier. The doctors said that there would be an adjustment period."

"Yeah. I know." And, as tough as it had been these past few weeks, being home for the last couple days had left Emily feeling a little more like herself. There was still a lot of stuff going on in her head, a lot of things left feeling unsettled and strange, but she didn't feel as much like a stranger in her own body, in her own mind anymore.

"It's more than just that," Paige said softly. Emily wondered if she would ever cease to be amazed at how easily Paige could read her.

"Yeah," she admitted. "It's just, Alison said some stuff…"

"About your history?"

Emily's eyes widened.

Paige chuckled lightly, and then shook her head, offering up an apology.

"I didn't know you knew about that."

"On our first date, you told me that once had feelings for her. But, that it was all in the past."

"And that never bothered you?"

"It did. For a while. Especially when we first got together, I was still so insecure and convinced that you would one day realize you could do so much better."

"But, that was a long time ago. I'm not that scared, confused little girl anymore. And, you've never given me any reason to doubt you were telling me the truth. That whatever happened between you two was well and done with."

"You mean you don't know?"

Paige shook her head. "I didn't want to know. At the time, I thought having the details would drive me insane. Though, whatever happened couldn't have been worse than what I imagined," she added with a wry smile. "I probably should have just asked. After awhile, it didn't matter anymore. You were with me, and Ali was dating other people."

"What about…" Emily trailed off, uncertain as to whether or not she actually wanted an answer, then with a deep breath forged on. "Were there other girls?"

Paige bit her lip, hesitating, and Emily's heart sunk, wondering what that might mean.

"Are you okay, talking about all this?" Paige asked.

Emily nodded, even though she wasn't a hundred percent sure that was true. As much as she wanted to know who she was, the details about her past, at least this aspect of it, were becoming increasingly difficult to take in.

It was hard enough accepting that she was with Paige, and that was with the way being around the other girl made her feel. It was even worse to come to terms with the fact that she had dated other girls. She had hugged them and kissed them…and possibly more. The notion made her shiver, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. She thought of the intensity she felt, when Paige's lips brushed hers, and for a split second she envisioned that feeling across her entire body.

"There were two other girls, in high school. Maya St. Germaine, and Samara Cook. Again, I don't know the details. I didn't want to know. I'm sure the girls could fill you in," she added. "You probably confided in them."

Considering what Aria had said, about not knowing anything had gone on with Emily and Alison, she wasn't so sure.

"And, I think you might have dated some when we were apart, in college. Like I said, the girls can probably give you more information on that than I can."

Emily nodded, though she was somewhat confused how Paige could not want to know. Wasn't she curious about what Emily had been up to, when they weren't together?

"I know it probably sounds weird, but I really did think I was better off, not knowing. The times when we were apart…they were not happy times for me. I didn't want to be thinking about you with other girls, knowing what you'd done with them, wondering how I compared…"

"Okay." Emily squeezed her hand soothingly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"No, it's okay. I'm okay now. We probably should have talked about all this sooner, but like I said, at the time I wasn't ready, and then after some time had passed, it didn't matter anymore."

Emily nodded. That sounded fair enough. She wondered if it was the same for her, was she better off not knowing? Having the details wouldn't change the fact that she didn't actually remember. Not only that, she wasn't sure she was ready to handle the actual details. Not yet, at least.

She supposed, if she decided she did want to know, she could ask one of the girls, maybe she had been more forthcoming with them about her other relationships than she had been about her and Alison.

"What about you?" she asked, starting to feel a little twitchy with the direction of the conversation, and wanting to get the focus off her. "Did you date many other girls?"

Paige shook her head. "I went out with a few, in the times we were apart. But, there was only one girl that I went out with more than once. Once girl you could say I actually dated." She glanced over, as gauging how Emily was responding to the news. Meanwhile, Emily was fighting to keep her expression neutral, uncertain as to what the uncomfortable tightening in her chest meant. Was it that Paige had dated so little, while Emily had apparently gone through her fair share of women? Or was it the thought of Paige, sweet, wonderful, endearing Paige looking at someone else the way she looked at Emily?

"Shana Fring. For a few weeks the summer between junior and senior year."

"That's it, only one other girlfriend?" she asked, deciding that the feeling was akin to astonishment that Paige hadn't dated much. Someone like her, shouldn't she have been beating girls away with a stick?

Paige shrugged, and dipped her head, eyes fixed firmly on the road.

"What happened? Why'd you break up?"

"She wasn't you," Paige whispered, so softly that Emily almost didn't hear her. "I was pretty hung up on you, Em. Before we got together, all the times we were apart. Shana, the other few girls I went out with, they were just substitutes."

"Oh." Emily didn't know what to say to that.

"I'm sorry. That was too much for you, wasn't it? I freaked you out."

Emily shook her head, even if she wasn't sure whether or not that was true. It did freak her out a little, to hear Paige talk about her feelings like that. Or at least, she felt like it should.

"Yes. I did. I'm sorry, Em. I know this is a lot for you. I didn't…I'm not…" Paige let out a sigh of frustration, one that had Emily squeezing her hand in sympathy and wishing that she could do more, say more, to make this situation less awkward, less painful. "

"I don't mean to come on so strong. It's just…you're the love of my life, you know? Except, you don't know. Because you can't remember. But, I can't just turn it off."

She sounded so forlorn. It tugged at Emily's heart strings.

"I'm sorry."

"What? No. Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize. What happened to you, the accident…It wasn't your fault. It sucks, that it happened. That things are like this-"

"You mean that I'm like this."

"No. Not that. Never that. It's just….a hard situation all around."

"Yeah."

Neither one of them seemed to know what to say, in the wake of that. And a tense, uncomfortable silence, much like the ones from a couple of weeks ago when Emily first woke up in the hospital, settled over them. So much had changed in a short period of time. Emily had gone from resenting Paige's presence to seeking her out, to finding comfort in it. She didn't want to revert to where they'd started, but she didn't know how to push past this moment.

They drove on, the only sounds in the car the faint hum of the tires and the rumble of the engine until eventually Paige reached forward and flicked on the radio. Soft music filled the car, masking but not entirely dissipating the awkwardness. Emily took some solace in the fact that, Paige did not let go of her hand.

Soon familiar landmarks started to emerge as they approached Rosewood, and Emily felt some relief that the uncomfortable journey was about to end. Not that being alone in the house in silence and sadness would be any better, but at least it would give them an illusion of space, and possibly a distraction.

As they approached the exit, Paige glanced over at her, biting her lip in hesitation before apparently deciding to ask her question. "How are you feeling?"

"What?"

"How are you feeling? After dinner, being out of the house for awhile, are you exhausted or are you up for a detour, before heading home?"

"A detour?" Emily perked up a little at the thought. "What kind of detour?"

"Just…a special spot."

Emily nodded immediately, eager to do anything that might bridge the gap that had started to develop between them. "Show me."

Paige bobbed her head, a grin tugging at her lips. "We don't have to stay long. If you get tired, or whatever just let me know."

And suddenly, the air between them was clear. All traces of the earlier tension gone as Paige expertly guided the car onto the next exit, humming softly along with the radio as she skirted the downtown core and took side streets, her destination quickly becoming clear.

Emily didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin what Paige clearly thought was a surprise. Apparently in her excitement, she had failed to realize that while Emily might not remember things, her knowledge of the town and it's landmarks had not changed.

Soon the car was crunching along a gravel access road leading into the camp grounds and hiking trails that crisscrossed the north end of town. It was a popular spot for locals and tourists alike, especially in the summer months. Now that it had grown cooler, all but the hardiest of campers had packed up and only the occasional hiker traversed the trails.

Emily had spent a lot of time here when she was a kid, especially when her father was home from deployment. They would picnic in the park at the base of the trails, or hike some of the easier paths. As she got older, they camped out in the woods and hiked the more advanced routes.

The last time she remembered being here was mid-July, just before her father left again. They'd spent the day hiking, as a family. It felt like only a couple months ago, when really it had been years.

She wondered how often she had come, in the interim. And, just what kind of "special spot" this place was, to her and Paige. The nature, the seclusion, it was reminiscent of a make out spot. Or at least how the movies portrayed them. She had no memory of actually visiting one herself. She wondered if this place had a cheesy nickname, like lover's lane or make out alley.

Paige guided the car to a stop at the end of the road, and Emily glanced around, realizing they had driven to the top of one of the bluffs that overlooked the town. Spread out before them was the whole of Rosewood, and beyond.

Emily had been up here a dozen times, or more. Probably everyone in town had. And, she wondered why this place was so special to Paige. To them.

"We had our second date over there." Paige made a vague gesture to her left, towards the grassy knoll. "A picnic. We ate until we'd stuffed ourselves and they lay on a blanket and listened to music and talked about everything. And nothing. It took me probably half an hour to work up the courage to hold your hand. My hand was probably all sweaty and gross, but you held it anyway. And, you laughed at my jokes and smiled at my stories and asked me questions and challenge my viewpoints."

Paige smiled softly, wistfully, as she recounted the details, and Emily couldn't help but feel a hint of it too. Not so much at the memory itself, but a longing to experience it for herself.

"It sounds sweet. And lovely."

"It was sweet. And lovely. It was also a huge sham. Our first date wasn't a secluded picnic because I thought it was romantic, it was because I was still in the closet and terrified that if people saw us together, in public, they would draw a conclusion I wasn't ready to face. You were already out by then. And, so much braver than I ever was."

Emily held back a frown, hoping that Paige wasn't seriously planning on giving her a speech on being brave, and not caring what people think.

"You told me that you wouldn't hide who you were. That doing so would make you feel ashamed. You were tired of feeling like that. And, if we couldn't be together in public, we couldn't be together."

"Sounds harsh."

"Maybe. It definitely hurt at the time. But, you were right. I couldn't see it at the time, I was too busy being devastated and self-loathing, but you were right. Hiding who you are, denying your truest self, it's damaging. And it would have torn us apart."

Emily felt a flash of anger. What Paige had apparently gone through and what Emily was experiencing now were entirely different. It was one thing to slowly discover who you were, and maybe have some doubts along the way. But Emily had woken up into a life she had no recollection of, and a bunch of people she barely knew telling her who she was. It wasn't the same situation at all.

"And, I know it's not exactly the same as what you're going through," Paige said, before Emily had a chance to say anything. "But, I just want you to know that I get it. At least a little bit. I know it can't be easy, trying to live up to this idea we all have of you."

Oh. Well, that wasn't what Emily was expecting. She deflated at Paige's words, sagging into her seat with a sigh, the fight seeping out of her.

"And I just…I used to come here a lot, after that day. And I'd lay on the grass and chastise myself for being cowardly and stupid, for letting you go like that."

"Paige-"

"But, slowly I came to realize that I wasn't ready yet, and that was okay. Because, one day, I would be ready. I would be able to walk down the street holding your hand. Well, I hoped it would be your hand. But I knew there was a very real possibility that I'd missed my chance with you. That you'd find someone and move on without me."

"Paige." Emily's felt the sting of tears at the picture Paige painted of a broken young girl, and she wished that she could do something to ease that ache.

When Paige had said this was a special spot, Emily had assumed it held precious memories, for her, or for them. But now she couldn't understand why Paige had brought her here, when clearly this was a painful place for her to be.

"And I spent a lot of time here, trying to accept that. I guess it's a little silly, but this place means a lot to me. I feel like I grew up here, Grew into myself here, and… I guess I just…wanted to share that with you." She shrugged, a blush heating her cheeks as she ran a hand through her hair, suddenly visibly uncomfortable. "It's stupid, isn't it?" she muttered. "We should just go."

Emily stopped her before she could start the car again. "It's not stupid," she assured her. "I think it's sweet. And, I like it here. It's peaceful."

"You mean boring?" Paige teased, the grin that lit up her features a welcome change to the morose expression from moments before.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything but…"

Emily chuckled as Paige let out an indignant squeak.

"Thank you, for bringing me here. For sharing this spot with me," she said, smiling softly when Paige nodded, blushing lightly.

Silence descended over them once again, but there was no awkwardness this time it was easy, companionable. They sat, looking over the town, watching the cars, tiny like ants, moving below them, the only sound their breathing and the occasional gust of wind outside the car. Paige's hand remained securely in her own, warm and soft, the weight of it anchoring Emily whenever her thoughts started to spin off out of control.

She had a lot to think about, a lot to contend with, but it didn't seem so daunting, when she was sitting here like this, high above everything. She felt like she could take it all on, as long as Paige remained at her side.