Through the Never

January 19, 2000 11:15 pm

Rob


I keep to the left as the road splits, staying on the A2. The lights from the lamps above are comforting for now. Soon we will be entering the dead zone. This is a place where small towns are separated by at least one hundred miles and road conditions can go from bad to worse in under a minute.

As I approach the next intersection a snow plow truck pulls out and gets in the lane next to me, I am in the left lane and it is in the right. I slow down a bit and let the plow pass. I put on my right turn signal and move over to the right, getting behind the plow truck. That's when I see it, a sign with three things written on it 'Dot Lake 61' 'Tok Jct 108' and 'Canada Border 201' I know that we are headed in the right direction. That is also the point that we passed the last street light. The passing lane is also gone the road is back to being separated by a double yellow line.

The speed limit sign says 50 mph but the truck ahead of me is only going 45, I would have done the same, there is no use speeding in the winter.


[TIME STAMP HERE]

Christine


"Christine, you're up." A voice said. I walked out on to the stage and in to the spot light. I walked up to the microphone stand and when I got there the stand slid down to my height, the microphone hit me on the head causing a loud ringing noise.

"Hello, how is everyone tonight!" The audience was quiet.

"That's great! Because I just slid in from Alaska and boy is my butt tired!" Someone coughed in the audience.

"You know, slid. Like on ice because I'm an ice…, never mind…, anyway! Have you ever wondered where snow cones come from? Well, have you looked in your fridge because it's running away…? No wait, its, does… something…" Well this is going poorly.

Suddenly the crowd starts cheering as I hear footsteps beside me. I look up to see who has walked on stage with me.

"Kirk Hammett!" I gasp when I notice who it is.

"Hay, how's it goin?" He asked me.

"Not so well…" I answer.

"Well, that sucks, but hay, have you seen my flame thrower?" He randomly asks.

"Wait, wha- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" If you couldn't tell by my screaming, he let me on fire.

This hurts, badly! I need to make it stop! I need to roll! I got to run! Water! I trip over the microphone cord and fall off the stage, as the audience laughs on, the microphone stand falls on top of my burning body.

"Stop kicking me! Christine! Wake the hell up!" A voice tells me as everything fades to black.


January 20, 2000 12:17 am

"Christine, are you ok?" A voice says as I start to return to reality.

"Uh…" Is all I manage to say, that's not saying anything that was a noise.

"Are you ok? You look like hell." It was Jenny, I kicked Jenny.

"I feel like hell…" I somehow manage to say.

"You need to just calm down."

"I'm trying. I guess I'm just nervous." I can't seem to stay asleep. Every time I fall asleep something stupid happens. Well this time something bad happened.

"Do you need a hug?" She asks me, Uhhh… My brain made a noise now.

"No, I'll be fine. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I change the subject.

"I was. But I have been up for about 15 minutes." She says as we cross over a small bridge.

"Anything going on?" I ask like there might be something else happening.

"No, it's too dark to see anything really."

"You know, I predicted snow. I should go see how Rob is doing." I started to get up. It seems that I have already kicked my blanket off.

"Rob… How are you doing?" I ask.

"Uhhhh…" He responds.

"Is it snowing?" I sit down between the seats on the floor.

"There has been a few flurries but nothing has been sticking." A car passes in the opposite direction and everything dimly lights up as it passes.

"So, where are we now?" I look up at him. He quickly looks down then back up.

"The middle of nowhere…" That's not quite what I wanted to hear.

"How are you not tired?"

"I'm very tired. I have gotten to know the feeling over the years and I have my ways of not falling asleep."

"Well, what about Nathan?" I hope I am not asking too many questions.

"What about him?"

"Can he drive so you can sleep?" I should have been clearer the first time.

"I want to get us in to Canada before I wake him up."

I turn around to head back. It looks like someone else is awake, it was Lily. She has been sleeping ever since we stopped at that store. She was going though one of the bags of stuff.

"What are you looking for?" I ask her as I walk over.

"I am looking for water, found it." She says as she tips the bag over and a bottle of water falls out and hits the floor and rolls around a bit before she stops it. "I have been very thirsty ever since you made me eat the stuff."

:"I never made you eat anything. You just ate it." I said pointing out the obvious.

"Well, it was still not a nice thing to do."

"It wasn't my idea, Dana told me to do it." I was only half right.

"Can you help me with this?" She was trying to figure out how to open the water bottle. I would help her, but I don't have hands… I wonder if Rob could help.

"Let me see the bottle." I get the bottle sideways in front of my front legs and roll it forward to the front of the van. Lily follows me up to Rob. "Rob." I call. He looks quickly. "Can we stop for water?" I ask.

"Good thing you said something now, there is a pull off up ahead." He pushes lightly on the brake pedal, then flips the turn signal on. And with one final push on the brake he turns to the left. The van bounces around as we leave the main road way. He brings the van to a stop and puts it in park.

"Alright… Where did Nathan put the bowl?" He asks as he gets up and steps over me. I turn around and bring the bottle with me as I move to the back. "Found it." He gets the water bowl located next to Nathan's bag. He takes the bottle from me and sets the bowl down on the floor. Then opens the bottle and pours it in to the bowl. I walk over and get a drink. Lily and Jenny join in as well.

Rob takes a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper out of another bag. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, looking like he is sitting on a street curb. He cracks the soda open. I watch as he lifts it up and chugs a good bit down. After he lowers it he lets out a small burp. Ok, what? You know what? Never mind. No, no, there is no way I out belched a trucker back at that restaurant.

We finish up most of the water. I guess we will need to stop again when the others wake up. "Alright, let's go." Rob says as he stands up and walks back to the driver seat with soda in hand. He takes a seat and puts the bottle on the floor and takes the van out of park.

Everything shook slightly as we got back on to the road. There is nothing left to do but lay back down and wait for sleep. I lay down in between Lily and Jenny.

"So, do you think you will be ok?" Jenny asks.

"I hope so." I tell her.


1321

January 20, 2000 1:24 am

Rob


I took another drink of my Dr. Pepper. Staying awake at the wheel is something I have learned to do over the years. It seems we are about to go through another town that is just up ahead. I flick the wipers on as it starts to snow again. Christine was right, the snow is starting to pick up. But it's nothing like what I had to drive through on the night I destroyed that truck, it wasn't right for him to send me on that job in the first place. Some people feel that profit is more important than safety.

They say that if you stare at the dotted lines in the center of the road long enough as they pass, you start to become hypnotized. You start to drive like a robot in this state and if anything was to happen in front of you, your reaction time will be greatly reduced, ending in a crash. There may be a bit of truth to this as I have more than once just found myself going forward as if following a predetermined set of directions. There is no other way to describe this feeling. Luckily for me it only takes a small diversion to this path to snap me out of this state of mind.

"Rob… I can't sleep…." It was Christine. I looked down at her for a second. She was standing in between the seats.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked her.

"I will be fine…" She said in a bit of a slur.

"You don't sound fine, you might have caught a cold." I said.

"… Have you been asking Dana…, how to say stupid things…?" She asked me, still sounding extremely tired and out of it.

"Well played, done like a pro, but I think she is giving you the… cold shoulder. Ha ha!" A voice in my head said.

"I thought I told you to stay out of my head." I said back.

"I have been listing to your thoughts for the past hour, and some of the stuff you think of is just the most useless crap. I mean it's just a back scratcher with a longer handle." Dana said.

"Hay! Don't underestimate the usefulness of the butt scratcher!" I yelled back, I think I am starting to get the hang of this mind talking thing.

"Whatever, I still think it's a dumb idea." Dana said as she left my head.

"Uhhh, shit….. Where are we? What time is it?" Nathan woke up from his sleep.

"One thirty in the morning." Christine said.

"Rob where are we?" He asked as he rubbed his head.

"I don't know where we are, you have the map." I said already having a vague idea of where we might be.

"Sorry about, I passed out." He said as he tried to hand me the map.

"Look up mile 1319 on the Alaska Highway, the A2." I said as I pushed the map back to him.

"Mile 1319… Looks like the town of Tok."

"We made it to Tok already? That's some, ok time I made given the conditions." I said.

"How bad is the weather?" He asked me, looking out the window at the snow that is falling in the headlights.

"Not all that bad, just hit a bit of snow." I said, flicking on my high beams and then back to low again to see if I could get a better look.

"I see that." He said as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"If it gets too bad I will pull over and wait till morning."

"I am gonna go get something to eat, want anything?" Nathan said as he stood up and went to the back of the van.

"Bring me my Skittles." I said quickly looking back.

"You bought Skittles? Damn, you got the big bag." He said as he found the big bag.

"I got a lot of the big bags so we wouldn't need to stop for a while."

"Or we could eat ourselves in to a coma." He said.

"Why must you take a good thing and put such a negative spin on it?" I asked sarcastically.

"Heh, ok, first of all I am having some of these Skittles. Second of all, yah, I am having some of these Skittles." He said avoiding the question.

"That's fine, you can have all you want. Just bring them here." I said.

"Not without a can of Mountain Dew." He said as he cracked open a can.

"Give me some Skittles." Dana was back in my head again.

"How about not sounding so demanding and asking Nathan, not me." I replied.

Nathan returned to his seat after a minute of messing around back there.

"Ok man, here ya go." He passed me the already opened bag of Skittles. I poured a hand full out of the bag and crammed them in my mouth. I need to overload on sugar if I plan to stay awake until Canada. I quickly chase it down with some Dr. Pepper.

"Are you just drinking that entire thing?"

"No, I will want some later."

"They say that Dr. Pepper was never actually a doctor and it was actually made to kill you." He said.

"I don't feel dead. Where the hell did you hear that?"

"This one time I was working at the store, I work at the only convenience store in Central. There was someone who bought a case of Dr. Pepper and the next morning they found him dead. Strung up hanging from the rafters of his home by his shoe laces with empty Dr. Pepper cans all around the room." He said, sounding like a crazy person.

"Alright that's nuts, but I can top it. They say that Mountain Dew makes your junk smaller." I laughed after I said that.

"You're joking right? Like, that has never been proven." He said.

"Why do care about the size of your junk so much?" Christine asked in a sarcastic manner.

"It's a guy thing. You got your own thing going on and you don't see me all up in your business." I said back in the same manner.

"Whatever, I'm going to go lay down." She said before she disappeared in to the back of the van. She was definitely sounding better than before.

"But, were all good here?" Nathan asked.

"I'm no doctor how am I going to know?" I said as Nathan grabbed the bag of Skittles from me.

"I think we should stop in town."

"What for?" I asked.

"I gotta take a leak, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one." He said, passing back the bag.

"Alright."


January 20, 2000 1:33 am

Christine


Now maybe I can get a good sleep without being disturbed. I have been trying to get a proper sleep ever since we started this trip.

"Hay Christine. Hay, hay, hay, guess what, hay, guess what, hay." It was Dana.

"What?" I asked in response.

"Come on, guess." She said.

"I have no idea why you are bothering me." I said.

"Do you give up?" She asked.

"I give, what could it possibly be?" I say in annoyance.

"Hi. *giggle*" That was all she had to say.

"I got a question. Are you responsible for these weird dreams?" I asked.

"Only a few, but I have been watching some of them. That one where I was fat was funny, well done. But no, you need to calm down. You seem to think more when you're not thinking at all." She said, she knows what's going on and can be helpful some times. But it is rare that she will give some advice or opinion on what she is thinking.

"Well what do I do now?" I asked.

"Just relax." She walked over to where I am laying at the top of the bed.

"I wish I could." I said.

"I realize that starting a new life will be hard on you, but just give it a chance. Sometimes change is for the better." She sat down next to me.

"Sometimes I wish you would change." I said.

"Nah, I'm having too much fun doing what I do, to do that." She said.

"I never expected you would." I replied.

"Maybe one day, I will get tired of always acting like an ass hol- Nah, I'm just messing with you on that one." She said, it's true she can be a major ass at times.

"Well at least you're honest." I said in response to her admitting that she is a jag-off.

We pulled off the road and I felt the van come to a stop. Rob got up and put on his coat, Nathan followed. "Alright, pit stop." Rob said as he opened the doors up on the side of the van. Everyone woke up and was ready to go. I followed the group outside.

I walked with the others to a patch of frozen grass right next to the road. There was a sign that read. Canada Border straight ahead. Anchorage to the right. Seeing the name Anchorage reminds me of my first home. I wonder what my brother and sister are up to right now, probably sleeping, wherever they might be.

Everyone but me had to do something, I already did something earlier. Rob stood by the van while Nathan went around the side of the building we parked in front of. We were out there for less than five minutes because unlike me, some of the others can't stand to be out in the cold for more than a few minutes.

"Alright everyone, let's get going. I want to get ahead of this snow storm before things get worse." Rob said. We all hurried back in to the van. Most of us were to freezing to stay out there for long. In no time we were back on the road.


Insomnia

January 20, 2000 2:36 am

Rob


The road has been rough for a while, and the accumulating snow doesn't help either. It is not yet a white out but I have been following the tail lights of a pickup truck far up ahead to stay on course. This van is a lot easier to control than any big rig. It's a good thing because I have been hitting small patches of ice on the road. Never hit your brakes on ice, the safe thing to do is let off the gas and guide your vehicle back to the center of the lane and keep it straight.

Some times when I can't play the radio I like to just play a song in my head. Just to see if I know the lyrics. Let's see… oh I know, this is a good one.

All aboard! Ha ha ha hahah!

Then that part with the guitar that sounds cool.

Crazy, but that how it goes!

Millions of people living as foes.

Maybe it's not too late.

To learn how to love,

And forget how to hate!

Mental wounds still screaming,

Driving me insane!

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!

{Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne – Blizzard of Ozz - 1980}

Wait… that seems a bit out of place? Was it, mental wounds not healing? I can't remember right now. I'll listen to it later when I get a chance. I guess this is why I am not the main singer.

"Nathan, blue sign. What's up ahead?" I said pointing to a blue sign with the gas, food and bed markings on it as we passed by it.

"What's the mile?" He asked. He has been awake since Tok.

"I don't know."

"I thought you were keeping track."

"Well I can't keep track of every mile, do you realize how many miles I would be required to keep track of?" I was tired to the point where I had a somewhat bad mood.

"That would be a large number of miles." He said.

"Damn right it would."

"Do you think we should stop for the night?"

"No, the snow will let up soon." I have no idea, I'm just winging it at this point. "We are going to switch seats when we get to Canada anyway."

"I am still wondering what you are going to do about getting Christine thought Canada." Nathan asked.

"I will figure it out later."

"Ok… It looks like this is another town." He said quickly changing the subject.

"If I knew which one then I would be good." Am I starting to ramble?

"I will find out." Nathan said looking at the map.

"Northway." I saw a green directional sign that had Northway listed 9 miles to the right.

"That would make this Northway Junction." Nathan pointed to the tiny town on the map. I couldn't see any of what he was pointing at. There is no light. It's hard to see him, I cannot see the Pokemon at all, the only indication that they are back there sleeping is they can be heard breathing when the van is not making noise from traveling over this mess of a road.

There is a loud thud noise as I run over a pot hole that is right in the middle of an intersection. "You said you wanted a mile, well how does 1264 sound?" I asked Nathan. I waited for an answer as he crunched the numbers.

"Sounds like we are almost to Canad-""42 miles from Canada." I said, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"What?" He asked.

"We just pasted a sign."

"There is just one road out here, why am I even looking at a map?" Nathan asked. Annoyed at this, I grabbed the map from him.

"I have no freaking idea why you have the damn map." With that I threw it over my shoulder and in to the back of the van.

"Ah! What the hell?" Christine said from behind me. "Why are you throwing things?" She didn't sound happy.

"This is America, it's a free country. I can throw things if I want to." I said as Christine walked up between the seats and sat down.

"Well just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Christine said.

"I'm just getting in my last bits of freedom before we leave this country." I said trying my best to justify my actions.

"She's right you know." Nathan said putting in his two cents. He wasn't the only one with something to say. It seems that I have awakened a few others as they could be heard in the back talking amongst themselves.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Oh god, not her again.

"I was being free." I replied.

"Your sleep deprived and becoming emotionally disturbed because of it, that's what you're doing!" Dana is right I am starting to act like an ass.

"Go away."

"Go to sleep!" She said and then she was gone.

"Well, I'm going to go lay back down, and Rob." Christine got my attention.

"Yah." I said.

"Don't let anything explode." Wait… Did she just use my line?

She stood up and made her way back to the bed. I was now driving down hill on a nice right bend that is causing some traction problems. I tapped the brakes lightly and slowed down a bit to help regain control. All that happened was brief skidding noise. Then the van drifted in to the other lane as we reached the bottom of the hill, still in the turn. I quickly regained control as the road started to go back up and this slowed the momentum. That's when I noticed Nathan staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You could have gotten us killed."

"Let's not worry about what might happen and focus on what did happen." I said dismissing his statement.

"You sound like your losing your mind."

"It's already gone." Am I even thinking before I speak now?

"I think you should pull over and let me drive."

"I think, I'm going to get you out of this." I said.

"Out of what?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we need to trade places." I put my hazard lights on and pulled over on to the right side of the lane, without going off the pavement and parked the van. "I'm done. Get us to the thing."

We switched seats, Nathan was now the driver. I hoped to get to Canada before we switched off but seeing as how the last good sleep I got was from being knocked out I am not feeling to well at the moment. But for some strange reason it feels like I am not able to sleep. All this mess I will figure it out later, but for now fuck it, shit happens.