Thursday September 17th: Week 2, Day 9

"CLASS IS IN SESSION!" Ganondorf spat at them, because I found a way to put screamed and spit flying into one word!

Mario cried.

Ganondorf didn't feel like commenting so he sicked a chain chomp on the red hatted man.

"Now if Mario's done being eaten, then LET'S MOVE ON!"

"I'm not dead!" Mario yelled, before realizing his terrible, horrifying mistake. Ganondorf unsheathed his light sword.

"PREPARE TO DIE!" Ganondorf charged at Mario like a stampede of angry Ganondorfs, which made Mario soil himself. Mario was pinned to the wall through the stomach, and the dark lord labeled him as a wall design. "Mario severely injured now, so we move on to MUSIC CLASS!"

"Please, if you're really up there," Link prayed, "let something interrupt this, PLEASE SUPERMAN!"

Ness walked into the room. "I live!"

Ganondorf clapped sarcastically. "Get in your seat!" He picked up Ness and threw him in an empty seat which broke. "Giga, sit on him and you get an A!"

"Thank you Spiderman!" Link muttered.

"I thought it was Superman?" Marth pointed out.

"Fuck him, he doesn't have any awesome genetic mutations!" Link exclaimed.

Ness managed to avoid the incoming ass.

"Okay, that's it!" Ganondorf cracked his knuckles. "First one to kill Ness gets a free pizza party!"

They all turned to look at Ness who began running. Link shot an arrow which hit him in the thigh. Ganon smacked him in the back of the head. "YOU CALL THAT A SHOT? HERE!" He gave Link at minigun.

"Holy crap!" Link aimed at Ness and fired. However he didn't suspect the blowback and shot in random directions, hitting Mario square in the forehead.

"Oh my god! He killed Mario!" Luigi screamed.

"You bastard!" Ganondorf added.

"I thought you hated him," Popo said.

"Of course! But I WANTED TO KILL HIM! DK, bring him to Zelda to heal him so I can do it myself!"

"(ape noises)!" (translation: But I have a clear shot on Ness' head!)

"I don't care, DO IT!"

DK threw down his MSSR sniper rifle and picked up Mario's corpse, walking out the door.

"All of you grab generic weapons hidden in closet and HUNT NESS!" They opened the closet.

"It is empty," Game & Watch said robotically. Ganondorf kicked him in and locked the closet shut.

"Now that the 2D idiot is gone, START!"

Ness was hiding in the bathroom. He was relaxing when his stall opened and there stood Bowser, Link and Pichu. "We decided to work together and share the pizza," Bowser explained.

Ganondorf popped out of another stall. "NO SHARING!" he screamed before grabbing a newspaper and closing the door.

"Okay, we can decide over rock paper scissors!" Pichu suggested.

"No, you can't do scissors," Bowser said. "Not enough fingers."

"Well Link can just stab us!" Pichu fought back.

"I CAN HELP DECIDE!" Ganon screamed as he peeked his head over the stall, drawing his sword.

"Guys! Let's decide after," Link told them. They turned to see Ness gone… two feet away.

"Drat, I almost escaped!" Ness said before Link cut his head off.

They heard a toilet flush and Ganondorf walked out of his stall to the soap dispenser. "So who gets the PRIZE?"

"Well I killed him," Link said.

"Well I hate Link so between you two," Ganondorf stated.

"HEY! That's not fair asshole!"

"No. Swearing. In. FUCKING SCHOOL!" Ganondorf roared at the three before picking up Link and jamming him in the paper towel dispenser.

"Did you burst a blood vessel?" Pichu asked.

"BOWSER, YOU WIN!"

"Sweet!"

"Well I don't like pizza anyway."

"PICHU GETS IT!"

"HUH?"

'Ganondorf is so easy to manipulate…' Pichu thought.

"I HEARD THAT! BOWSER WINS!"

"What the fuck?" Pichu screamed.

Ganondorf's eyelid twitched. "No… FUCKING… SWEARING!"

-In the classroom from hell-

"SESSION CONTINUES!" Ganondorf screamed.

"So what class is now?" Luigi asked.

"DON'T TAKE THAT ATTITUDE WITH ME!" Ganondorf yelled. Luigi was confused, scared, and more scared. "Now we have MATH CLASS!"

"You like that don't you?" Young Link asked.

"ONE MORE PEEP OUT OF YOU, LUIGI, AND I KILL YOUR WHOLE GENEPOOL!" Ganondorf screamed. "Now… solve THIS!"

He wrote a math equation on the board that took up the full thing. "Find answer in 3 seconds, staring 2 SECONDS AGO! TIME'S UP! Jigglypuff, ANSWER!"

"2?"

"WRONG!" He shot the puffball with a bazooka. "Luigi, ANSWER!"

"76.2?"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK!" He shot Luigi too. "Giga Bowser, ANSWER!"

"Triangle!"

Ganondorf opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. "How the hell did you GET IT RIGHT?" he demanded.

"It was easy, the 0 cancels the CD and the 6 is brought down to 48 by the water bottle, which is the equivalent of a triangle," Giga explained. Ganondorf shot him anyway.

"Whoever else decides to solve it correctly with retard logic, SPEAK NOW!"

Bowser slowly raised his hand and pointed at Link. "He does!" Ganondorf shot Link too. "Oh shit, I thought that was Luigi, all I saw was a bit of green!"

"Great job a–hole!" Link screamed while Roy removed him from the wall. "Now I'm one step away from becoming a pancake: roast!" A burst of fire, courtesy of Giga Bowser, hit him head on. "Thank you," he said dully.

"I'll get the syrup," Kirby exclaimed. Link was about to laugh dully until Kirby spat some on him and pulled out a fork and knife.

"SIT DOWN! NOW!" Ganondorf screamed. They complied quickly, except Link who was still stuck. "Liiiiiiiiink? Why do you think you're more special then ME?"

"I can time travel?" Link answered questioningly.

"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?"

"Bowser told me to!"

Bowser got shot by a bazooka. "Ass!"

"We're even," Link argued. Then Ganondorf picked them both up.

"GO TO OFFICE, make sure not to HORRIBLY DIE on the way!" he screamed. Ganondorf threw them out the door and turned to the rest of the students. "10000 PUSH-UPS! NOW!"

"Is this gym or math?" Marth asked.

"JUST FOR THAT YOU GET F!"

"They don't use Fs anymore!"

"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?" Ganondorf drew his sword. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO SWORD FIGHT!"