A/N: Sorry for the ignored update... This chapter sort of meant something to me, so I hope you're not too harsh with its sulleness. I've been in a weird mood, so this chapter may just reflect that. Anyway, this is mostly from Kratos' perspective, so enjoy.
Chapter 2-The Waiting is OverChapter 9- Anna…
Kratos finally turned the lamp off, exhausted from staying up so late again. He walked up the stairs, yawning and rubbing his tired eyes. He slowly, robotically, took his heavy clothing off, folding the articles neatly and then putting them into their designated drawer. He put on a thin, white, long-sleeved shirt and black 3-quarter pants made of cotton; a pajama set he had worn for centuries. The cloth itself of both top and bottom was wearing down to a great extent, the seams loose and weak, but Kratos still wore the garments. He found them to be redolent of better days, days free of worry and pain. Sometimes he imagined himself never marrying Anna and never conceiving Lloyd. He would never have felt pain, nothing would have torn his heart…but he immediately dismissed this figment, this awful thinking back. He was still in love with Anna, her sweet, virtuous being. He longed to hold her again, safely within his arms. Sometimes he could smell her scent, remember the texture of her glorious hair, and hear her lovely voice softly speaking in his ear. They were both painful and joyous things to bask in. But…oh…how he missed her, how painful it was!!
Kratos slipped into bed, bringing the covers up to his chest. He closed his weary eyes, shutting the door of reality and opening the door to a night's daze…
The wind blew softly through the thinness of her skirt as she lay in the long grass, her lover by her side. Her hand swept through the long plants surrounding her; the texture felt cool and soft under her fingertips. Her eyes scanned the beautiful area that was spread out before her. The stream flowed to the west, and the mountains were in full view to the east. It was a perfect scene to draw, and the brown-haired girl wished with all her heart she had a sketchpad with her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Anna," said the deep voice.
Anna turned her gaze to the man laying down beside her, his eyes opened in tiny slits. His disheveled hair made her smile, and he smiled when she smiled.
"What is it?"
"Nothing; your hair looks boyishly cute, that's all," she said with a grin.
She lay down next to him, nesting herself in his embrace. She closed her eyes and kissed the side of his head numerous times.
"I love you, Kratos…"
Kratos smiled his small smile, hardly visible to the naked eye. He held his love closer, never guessing in a million years that she'd one day never be in his life, taken away so soon. But he lay there, soaking in her scent of wildflowers. He pulled her closer to him, their body heat increasing. Anna shuffled a little until she met Kratos face with her own. He blinked a couple of times, looking quizzically into her light brown eyes.
"Something wrong?"
"No…I just wish there could be more days like this…I wish we didn't have to run away…" she said sadly. She suddenly laughed. "I guess that is something wrong, pardon me," she added with a wink.
Kratos frowned even though Anna was, indeed, in good spirit. It was his fault that Anna was in this mess, but at the same time, he wouldn't have it any other way. They were together, going through any and everything. He couldn't wait to wake up to smelling her sweet hair, even if that was a day they had to go into hiding, a day without freedom. Being with her made everything other problem seem trifling, unimportant. But that was beside the point… This wasn't about him; this was about her.
"Kratos, I want to be here with you. I have absolutely no regret in what I'm doing with you now. I love you, and I always want to be with you, in hiding or not. So, no worries mm'k?"
She kissed his lips, sucking gently. He moaned and gingerly complied to her lustful kisses, lining her jaw with his own sweet pecks. He cupped the back of her head, holding her carefully with his manly strength. Their breathing deepened, becoming more severe as their lips crashed together again and again. But Kratos backed off after a couple of minutes of passionate embrace. Anna looked puzzled as she started to open her mouth to say something, but Kratos shushed her with a finger. His eyes held a look of determination.
"Anna, please know that I love you with everything I have. I love you, your mind, your body, your soul, everything. Making love to you only deepens my feelings for you; it doesn't cheapen them," he said sincerely.
Anna burst out laughing like a silly schoolgirl, giggling and snorting. Kratos rolled his eyes and exhaled a breath of annoyance. Even when he was being perfectly serious, Anna had reason to laugh. He watched her as she held her stomach from totally losing herself in childish laughter. She flushed with brilliant red, looking at Kratos with drunken love in her bright brown eyes. She took his hand, warm and strong, and rubbed it against her cheek, roughness to softness.
"I know you love me, Kratos and for all the right reasons. I would not have married you if I had thought otherwise," she stated quietly, finally serious. "I…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have complained about running away from the Desians…you gave me freedom, and…and I love you for it. None of this is your fault; I agreed with all of it," she said, her breathing now in intermittent paces.
Kratos listened carefully to every word she articulated. He loved how frenetic she got when she tried to convey something sacred or serious to him. Everything about her made him hold his breath, made him count his lucky stars. She was everything a man could want: sweet, intelligent, self-assertive, funny, loving, seductive, independent, and most of all, a dependable, everlasting friend. He kissed her gently on the lips, chastely but with fervor. Anna's eyes watered from all the emotions buzzing in her heart and mind.
"Kratos…I want to go through life with you always by my side…don't ever let me live my life alone, okay?" she said senselessly, all thoughts incoherent as Kratos' hands roamed over the sensitive area of her thighs. "I wouldn't have it any other way," replied the auburn-haired man. "I need you in my life now forever, Anna. I'll have nothing else," he whispered. He kissed her sweet-scented hair and the stars seemed dimmer. The grass rolled as the wind blew gently across the land. The sky's beautiful essence disappeared, fading away into nothingness. Haze and sparks collided, creating waves of flickering lights. Darkness encompassed his mind, and yet a patch of light could be seen, a tunnel coming closer and closer. Kratos woke up.
Sweat rolled down his weary, pain-stricken face. He shook from bitterness, his mind trying to follow the dream he had just had. His eyes stung with salty tears, and his body seemed never to cease from its quake. Never had he dreamt of Anna so vividly. He swore he could taste her lips, feel her skin, and smell her hair. It was so real, so real that it made his heart ache unbearably. His face contorted into an excruciating shape, his soul obviously troubled. He sobbed throughout the night, whispering maniacally his late wife's name. Losing her twice was unbearable, even in a dream.
o.O.o
It was next to impossible for Kratos to get out of bed. He was still shaking from the stifling dream he had had; he never did fall back asleep. In his head, his mind played her voice over and over, driving him insanely mad. Pictures flashed constantly in his psyche, mocking him, simply mocking his weakness. His heart beat a monstrous tune, an iniquitous tune full of malice and cruelty; it never ceased. Kratos could barely stand as he walked down the stairs. This dream…this vision…why was it so haunting? Anna had been gone for over 20 years; why wasn't this getting any easier?
The light was bright in the kitchen as the sun hung hotly in the sky, and the plants seemed to droop. The air was pregnant with moisture; muggy hotness filled the skies. Kratos started sweating almost immediately; it must have been hot, because he hardly "glistened." The floor beneath his feet was cool, although dampening with his sweaty feet sopping their way across. Kratos started breakfast, nothing too complex as the heat was unbearable. He took out meats and cheeses from the refrigerator, and he also took out some fruits and breads. He prepared Dirk's meal first; Kratos' tastes were a bit more epicurean, so he would prepare something a little more to his liking later. He assembled the assorted foods on an old plate and even added some class by adding parsley on the side. Decorously displayed, the food was taken to Dirk who took to spending most of his time in his room, lying in bed. Kratos knocked on the door firmly, yet gently. He heard a muffled cough and walked in with the tray. Dirk's skin was very much a pallor tone. His eyes were red, bloodshot. His hair was matted down from the heat; it was correct to say that he did not look his best. Kratos placed the tray gingerly on the dwarf's lap. He assorted the different utensils before sitting down in another chair beside the bed, looking at Dirk with intensity. It took a while, but Dirk successfully sat up and began eating the simple meal with tiredness written all over his weary face. Kratos watched a while before letting him eat in privacy. He walked back into the kitchen with the thought of feeding himself some breakfast, but after taking a gander at the refrigerator, he decided he would instead go for a walk outside. Given, it was hot, but he figured going into the woods with thousands of overshadowing trees wouldn't be so bad. Besides, this heat was nothing compared to being in the Triet Desert.
o.O.o
Lloyd sat silently on his bed again. It was early morning, practically night. His eyes were sharp and cognizant of all surroundings. His head was still functional, and his body operational. Lloyd had come to find that he could change his sleeping habits any time he wanted. Sometimes he'd take three or four naps, and other times he wouldn't sleep at all in a day; and somehow, his body could be versatile and do whatever Lloyd willed. This night was one of the nights he wouldn't sleep at all. He made up his mind he would think and ponder about everything he was currently situated with: the journey of destroying all exspheres, his relationship with both Sheena and Colette, and, of course, the illness of his dwarven father. It was a lot to handle. Also, he couldn't forget the sacrifice Kratos was making.
'It can't be pleasant to care for an afflicted person,' thought Lloyd.
He had given Noishe a reply to Kratos' letter. It was short, but Lloyd couldn't think of much to say. But he tried to sound as optimistic as possible, as well as cordial and happy. But, again, it was a short letter, so it may not sound, or appear, as Lloyd wanted. It was done though. It was done.
A knock on the door sounded. Lloyd's head made its way up slowly. "Come," he said firmly. The door opened, and the timid Genis walked in; no, he merely stepped one step inside. "I hope I'm not bothering you, Lloyd…I just wanted to see how you're doing…and you're fine, so I'll leave…"
"Wait, Genis."
Lloyd emerged out of bed and headed to his best friend. Genis hadn't turned around, because his eyes started to water.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that, Genis. You didn't deserve it, and I'm really sorry. Can you stay for a while? Bud?"
Genis nodded, smiling and turning around at the same time. He was glad he and Lloyd were back on track. It hurt him greatly, their separation. Lloyd beckoned him to sit on the bed, while he took the chair from his desk to sit in, the chair backwards. Lloyd sat with his long arms slumping over the head of the chair while his legs dangled on either side.
"I can't keep this to myself anymore…"
o.O.o
Kratos was right; the trees' shadows did make the area a great deal cooler. His feet were aching, for he hadn't traveled on foot in a while. With his enhanced ears (he was an angel, after all), he heard the sound of a stream in the near distance. Kratos moved quickly, his feet swiftly carrying his taut body. The music of the water played softly in his head as he neared his destination to the cool, refreshing liquid. The maze of the forest hindered him not, for Kratos could see way beyond the sylvan area. The trees sheeted overhead went by so quickly, that it looked like a blurred, splotchy painting. The wind carried him gently, sending a shivering stimulation up his spine, his mind and spirit exhilarated from the fast pace of his dash. And finally, the sparkling water came into sight, the many reflecting gleams flashing like small crystals. Kratos slowed his pace significantly, and his eyes gazed intently at the picturesque scene laid out before him. His eyes softened as the birds sang their song, and the insects buzzed about brightly, looming in the air. Walking to the bank, he knelt and cupped his hand, scooping some water into his palm. It tasted divine, heavenly. The pleasure was almost insatiable, as his thirst was hardly quenched with one scoop. He drank for a full 5 minutes, savoring the divine, mineral taste. After his, perhaps, hundredth scoop, Kratos stood up, his head turning every way to find a good place to sit. To the east he saw a little area secluded with little shrubbery and fern, and so he traveled thirty or more steps to get there. A rock stood proudly to the side of the hidden area, erect in all its glory. Kratos sighed and placed himself against the rock, his back to the cold stone. He bowed his head and folded his arms, listening to nature, its lovely, never-ending march. His thoughts traced back to many seemly forgotten events; flashes of Anna also paced through his troubled head. She always came into his thoughts…every day of his life he thought of his love; he never could escape through the day without at least her face momentarily skipping through, like a thin stone in water. Forever her spirit would remain with him; only until death where he could finally see her again, embrace her, could his soul be quieted, relieved.
Kratos' eyes drooped casually, his head imploring him to experiment with sleep. Kratos didn't want to comply though; he was an angel, so he didn't actually need sleep…but he did realize that sometimes his mind did require rest and peace, a time to just think no thought. But he wanted to think. Just think about his life, evaluate his current situation. And so he did for a time…
o.O.o
The sun never ceased its warmth, and the trees seemed to literally bend from its burning rays. No wind was present; the air was stuffy and thick, the sky blasé and sickly. Kratos still sat thinking when suddenly something wet made contact with his knuckle.
Noishe's nose pushed against his owner's hand, or, rather, the father of the owner's hand. He puffed and puffed deeply, exhausted from traveling with limited hydration in the deadly heat. Kratos saw a letter attached to his collar and immediately ripped the parcel open, wondering what his son replied. It was thin; he could tell not much had been written, which made Kratos even more anxious to open the letter. The sealing wax broke in two, and the letter came apart naturally. Kratos' eyes hungrily scanned the scribbled words.
Dear Dad,
I'm really not sure what to write…because I'm still wondering how to take your news of Dad…Dirk…
Tell Dirk I love him and to stay strong. I'm sure the doctor will help a lot, and maybe he's getting through the worst of it…who knows…anyway, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'll be starting my journey in just a couple of days…I won't be an idiot like last time. I think I'm a bit more enveloped (Kratos sighed. Could he have meant "developed?"). But…well, my mind is blank. Write back and just keep me updated on Dad. Bye.
-Lloyd
Kratos frowned. He had indeed expected more of Lloyd, but then again, he supposed his conciseness to be a way of working through this time of trial. But still…
'Gah!' though Kratos. 'He's losing his father, of course he's acting like this…'
It pained Kratos greatly to know his son was in anguish and despair. There was nothing he could do though…nothing at all…
Kratos looked up into the sky before standing up to go home. The clouds were full and dark; a sign of rain to come. He whistled to Noishe who whimpered but followed Kratos as he led the way out of the forest and back to Dirk's home. It was close to lunchtime anyway, so Kratos had to prepare his meal. He held the letter firmly in his right hand, while he held his head with the other. He supposed he should answer Lloyd's letter as soon as possible, but Kratos, too, was unsure of what to write. Perhaps he would wait a couple of more days, see how Dirk was progressing…or…digressing… Then at least he could give Lloyd a report rather than words full of unhelpful consolations. And so he went off, his feet carrying him lethargically through the dry wood. No expression adorned his face, but his thoughts again held Anna's face, a face that still held love for him no matter how many years had passed. Kratos smiled painfully. At least…at least he could imagine her by his side…it was better than nothing…
A/N: Well, there you go. Hope it wasn't too bad. Again, I do not own Tales of Symphonia, never will, I've accepted that... Anyway, hope to see some constructful reviews. Tell me what I'm doing wrong or right. Thanks.
