Chapter 13:
I got to Bella's house just as the bloodsucker did. Bella was already waiting for us outside her house and clearly didn't want us to come in. She looked determined and sad and guilty and like she really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to have to choose. That expression only made me hate the leech more. Couldn't he see that his coming back had caused her even more pain? He was sawing her in half, making her choose this way. Bella had started talking; saying how she loved us both, but she loved one of us more than the other. I had a secret joy because she was looking at Edward as she said this and I t a bubble of hope begin in my chest. She was talking about how she really didn't want to choose between us. She was crying sobbing would be a better description, and we had both tried to go to her but she had stopped us before we could take a full step in her direction. The tears were coming harder now, so hard that she couldn't speak. I could tell she was about to tell us her decision. It was finally here, the moment of truth. When there could be no going back. I was so nervous, I started to shake and was afraid if she didn't hurry I would loose control and accidentally phase. I tried to focus, but it was hard to when I was so scared. She finally regained control on herself and began to speak again.
"Jacob, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, always. I wish I'd never met you so that this wouldn't be happening. I know I'm hurting you, and that I'm being selfish. After everything you've done for me, I should be choosing you. I love you, but it's not enough. I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more than I can say."
She had chosen the bloodsucker over me. The leech that had caused her so much agony. The pain stopped my trembling for a second and I saw Bella had sunk to the ground, unable to stand because of the force of her tears. Then I lost it. I knew that I was starting to phase, so I took off. Even though she didn't love me, I loved her and I couldn't bear to see her hurt. As soon as I was in wolf form, I really started flying. I didn't know where I was going; I didn't care. I just had to get as far away from there as possible, as fast as possible. I was replaying in my mind what had just happened over and over so it took me a bit to realize the presence of Sam and Embry, watching what had happened as though they had been there. There thoughts were so sympathetic that I could hardly stand it. Finally Sam broke the silence in our minds.
"I'm so sorry Jake. Go wherever you need to go, as long as you need to, but come back as soon as you can. Remember, we still have the Red-head one to deal with. We will be waiting for you. Let's go Embry."
"Sorry." Embry whispered before phasing back as Sam had directed. I knew that soon the entire pack would know, and I didn't want to be able to hear their thoughts when they found out. I don't think I could take their sympathy or whatever insensitive thing Leah was bound to come out with. I ran even faster so I could get far away before I phased back to human to avoid hearing them. In a few hours I thought I was somewhere in or near Canada, but I wasn't sure because I hadn't really been paying attention to where I was going. I phased back to human as I felt at least to of my brothers going wolf. They would understand why I didn't want to hear what they had to say. I came to a complete stop and sat down to think about what to do next.
Chapter 13:
The mongrel and I arrived at Bella's house at the same time. She was already waiting for us outside of her house. Her face was tear stained, and it was obvious she had been crying. She looked absolutely miserable, and I felt pain shudder through me as I realized I was the cause of her pain. I vowed right there that I would do everything I could to never see that look on her face again, especially that would never be the cause of her tears. She opened her mouth to speak, and as she did the tears began to pour again.
"First," she said, "I want you to know that I love you both." She was crying even harder, and we both started forward, but she held up her had to get us to stop.
"For this whole time, I've been thinking about both of you. When I told you earlier that I needed to think about this because I didn't know what to do, that was a lie. I'm sorry, but it was. I already knew who I would pick. I've sat on my couch trying to think of a way to do this so that nobody would go away with their heart broken, but I can't see how to do it. Part of me loves Jacob, and part of me loves Edward. But it's not an even divide; I love one of you more. The one that I pick today, when I tell you I love you, I mean it. But I also love the one that I won't pick. I'm sorry that I can only choose one of you. Believe me; if there was a way to be with you both, I would do it. There isn't though. There isn't a way that I can love you both. I hope that the one I don't choose can still be friends with me, but I understand if you can't."
I was so nervous, I knew I was going to loose it any second and fall on the ground groveling for her to forgive me. Nothing she had said had given any indication of her choice and the suspense was enough to drive me crazy. She had stopped speaking for a moment because the tears were making it impossible for her to speak. A sob wracked her body and it was all I could do to respect her wishes and stay where I was. Finally she started to speak again.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to cause either of you pain, but I can't see a way around that." I had to stop again because I was now sobbing so hard it was absolutely impossible to keep going. When I regained control of myself, I had to finish the mess I'd started.
"Jacob, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, always. I wish I'd never met you so that this wouldn't be happening. I know I'm hurting you, and that I'm being selfish. After everything you've done for me, I should be choosing you. I love you, but it's not enough. I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more than I can say."
Relief flooded through me as I heard her speak the words I had needed to hear. Meanwhile, she had sunk to the ground because she could no longer stand with the force of her crying. I paused for just a second, then walked over to her and hesitantly put my arms around her. She didn't shake me off, so I gently picked her up and started running her inside and laid her on her bed in her room. She just sobbed, and kept until she fell asleep that night. I listened to Charlie come home, he heard her sobs, but didn't come up because he was scared by her tears. That night, she slept in my arms just like she had done so many times. I just watched her, glorying in seeing her beautiful face again; basking in the feeling of her small body next to mine. I was at peace and happy to be with her. She was everything I needed. She completed me, made me whole again.
Hi everybody!! Thank you so much for reading my story!!! Please review and tell me what you did/did not like about it. I will be on vacation for the next three weeks, so I won't be updating, but I will as soon as I get back!! Thank you so much!!!!-Silly Milly
