CHAPTER VIII: ACCEPTANCE
When Korra awoke the next morning, it was still dark. Or she assumed it was still dark, though it was hard to tell in this windowless room. This room was probably always somewhat dark without any lights on, she figured, and there wasn't a clock in this room to check the time.
She was facing the wall when she awoke, and she turned over on the bed to see if Asami was awake yet. They had slept in the same bed, partly because they both had been too exhausted to move to the other bed, and because they wanted to. Mostly because they had wanted to.
Korra saw that Asami was still asleep and that she had turned to face the other bed in her sleep, so her back was to Korra. She studied the curve of Asami's body in silence, starting at her shoulders and working her way down.
Korra couldn't remember ever feeling this way about another person before, let alone another girl. Then again, throughout her childhood and teenage years she had trained rigorously to be the best Avatar she could be. There had never been time for her to get to know someone like this, and before Mako (if that really even counted) she had never dated anyone before. Sure, she'd had a few minor crushes during her life in the Southern Water Tribe, but being the Avatar had always come first. Now, she briefly wondered if her Avatar status had maybe turned-off a few potential love interests back then. If it had, she wouldn't have cared or noticed back then. Her Avatar spirit, along with her talent for bending, had been Korra's first love.
As she thought about these things, Korra realized that maybe that had something to do with her current attraction to Asami. Asami didn't look at her like most people usually did. That is, Asami didn't see her as just the Avatar. Asami liked her for her, and that attracted Korra deeply. When Asami treated Korra with respect or kindness, it wasn't because she revered Korra like some deity. It was because she cared for her as a person. When Korra had been with Mako, she'd noticed how he always seemed to be trying too hard, like he was afraid to screw up their relationship. At first, she wrote it off thinking that he was just nervous, and she liked that, for a while. But as they continued seeing each other it had only gotten worse, and she knew that Mako had fallen into the same trap. He really did like her: Korra had seen that, and she liked him a lot, too. But his respect and reverence for her status as the Avatar overrode his attraction to her in time, and she eventually realized that it would be best to break it off with Mako.
Asami, on the other hand, had never fallen into that same pit of respect. When they had first met, it had ticked Korra off slightly. She had been so used to seeing people's expressions of awe when they saw her, so when Asami hadn't done the same, it had angered Korra somewhat. She had thought Asami was just stuck-up perhaps, or that maybe she didn't know what being the Avatar implied. The only people that had ever treated Korra normally, before Asami,were her own parents. It made Korra smile, thinking back on the drastic changes that her friendship with Asami had undergone. Their friendship was still changing, though she had a feeling that it was morphing into something more: she had kissed Asami just last night!
Korra turned back to her edge of the bed, quietly throwing the covers off of her and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Her wheelchair was next to the door, about fifteen feet away. She didn't want to wake Asami up, so she made a plan of action as to how she was going to get in that chair as quietly and as painlessly as possible. Korra figured the safest route was to lean against the wall and ease her way over to the corner, then pull the wheelchair underneath her. She experimentally rolled her ankles and extended her legs individually, seeing how they felt. Kya must be a miracle-worker, she thought. Her legs were feeling fantastic, at least compared to how they were just three short days ago.
Korra executed her plan of motion, silently pushing off from the bed and leaning against the wall. She quickly shuffled her way into the corner, mostly using her hands to inch her way across. When she got into the corner of the wall, she pulled the wheelchair to her so that the edge of the seat was touching her legs. Korra then pushed herself away from the wall, turning ninety-degrees to land safely into the chair. She'd made it, and Asami hadn't budged.
Feeling very proud of this accomplishment, Korra opened the door and wheeled herself through, pausing outside the room before shutting the door. She glanced back at Asami, who was still asleep. Korra felt a soft tug on her heart, as if this room didn't want her to leave and was trying to coax her back in. She resolved to get some fresh air and then come back to see if Asami was awake, and she softly closed the door behind her.
As she made her way through the living quarters and toward the kitchen, Korra could see that it was still pretty early in the morning. She passed one window in the hallway and saw that the sun was just starting to rise, a little sliver of golden red resting on the horizon. Korra bypassed the kitchen, instead going right and then taking a side door that led outside onto a small porch overlooking the courtyard.
A few airbender trainees were already up jogging around the island, one or two of them occasionally floating into view in the sky, dressed in the Air Nation's new flight-suits. But this little porch was empty, and Korra rolled herself up to the railing to gaze out at the bay. Republic City rose majestically in the distance, its tallest towers and skyscrapers competing to see which one could reach the clouds first. The view was gorgeous, and Korra wondered why she'd never come here before.
After a few minutes, the door Korra had come through opened suddenly, but she didn't immediately turn to see who it was. She was still admiring the view, as the City slowly grew in brightness as the sun rose steadily. Korra heard a soft tinkling and small footsteps coming her way, so she looked around to welcome this newcomer.
Korra's heart and stomach dropped to the floor, and she was sure her face had gone pale, as Pema came toward her holding a teapot and some cups on a tray.
Korra had intentionally avoided the kitchen because she figured Pema might've been in there. Please, spirits, Korra prayed quickly, just kill me.
Pema had walked into their room last night mere moments after Korra and Asami had begun their kiss, and Korra knew that she had seen it. How could she not have seen it? Although she had been distraught at the time, Korra reckoned that it could have been worse. After all, Meelo could've been the one to interrupt them, or perhaps Tenzin. Either way, Pema had seen Korra and Asami kiss each other, and she was therefore the last person Korra wanted to talk to right now.
Pema came over to Korra and placed the tray between them on the railing. Without saying a word, she filled the two cups with hot tea and handed one to Korra with a warm smile. Korra begrudgingly took it, although she was glad for the warmth that the cup provided. She held it in both hands, resting the bottom of the cup on her lap as she stared into the steaming tea. Korra didn't want to look at Pema.
Pema leaned against the railing while she sipped her tea, looking out over the bay at Republic City in the distance. They both stayed like this for several minutes, Pema silently drinking her tea while Korra looked around at everything but her. Finally Pema broke the uncomfortable stillness.
"I've always loved sitting here, too," she said softly. Korra still didn't look up at her. "The City is so beautiful from right here. Something about this spot, the way the City reflects the light and the sound of the waves, has always been able to calm me down when I need it the most."
Korra hadn't said anything to her. She hadn't even really acknowledged Pema's presence aside from accepting the teacup, and Korra was now intently studying the way steam rose from her tea.
Pema placed her cup on the railing and turned towards her. "Korra," she began, playing with her fingers nervously. "If…if you don't want to talk about it, then that's completely fine. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you're worried that I've told anyone, don't be. That's for you and Asami to work out, and it's no one else's business."
She paused, hoping that Korra would say something. Korra was still trying to avoid meeting Pema's eyes, and after another moment of silence Pema sighed.
"Korra, we love you. Everyone here on this island loves you. Tenzin, Bumi, Kya, Ikki, Meelo, Jinora, everyone. I love you, Korra. You've been like daughter to me, and I only want to help you, if you'd let me." She paused again, and Korra finally turned to look up at her. Pema was wearing her usual expression of motherly-worry, but it had a sense of understanding about it. Korra felt her eyes tear up slightly at Pema's words.
She reached over and placed her hand on Korra's shoulder, and continued. "I want you to know that this doesn't change anything, Korra. No one here is going to think any less of you. All we care about is your happiness, and if Asami makes you happy, then that's all that matters."
Korra hadn't considered any of these things yet. She herself had never recoiled from the sight of two women in a relationship, but for some reason it felt different now that she was one of those women. Yes, Asami made her happy. Asami made her very happy. But for reasons that Korra couldn't put into words, she had somehow expected other people to not understand. When Pema had walked in on them, this was what had worried Korra: she had thought Pema, along with everyone else, would be disgusted with her. She was wrong.
Korra blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes, and she lunged forward to hug Pema around the waist. Pema almost dropped her teacup, but she set it down on the railing again and stroked Korra's hair gently.
"Thank you," Korra said into Pema's dress after a moment.
She pulled away from her and sat back in her wheelchair, wiping the remaining tears with the back of her hand. Her tea had gotten cold, and she almost spit it out as she took a sip.
Pema smiled. "Here," she said, offering to pour Korra some more tea from the kettle. Korra dumped the cold tea over the railing into the grass below, and held out her cup for Pema to fill.
As Pema poured the tea, she glanced up at Korra. "So," she said, keeping her tone non-intrusive. "How long have you known?"
"I…don't know," Korra said, perhaps finally ready to talk. She took a sip of the tea, appreciating the warmth of the liquid as it rolled down her throat. "I've never really thought about it like that." She'd certainly never talked about something like this with anyone before. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, hoping to maybe look back on her life and see the one moment when she'd realized she liked boys and girls. But she didn't see that moment, because it had never happened. Somehow, she had always known.
"I guess…always?" Korra continued, trying to relate her feelings to Pema. "I mean…well, I don't know what I mean. I've never thought about it before because it was always there, but it was sort of…ignored, I suppose."
Pema nodded her head, but remained silent so that Korra would go on.
Korra felt her confidence slowly building up. She found that it was actually nice to confide in Pema. "Before I came to Republic City for the first time, I'd never dated anyone. I was always training to be the Avatar…well, I mean, I am the Avatar, and everyone in the Tribe knew it. Everyone but my parents treated me like some icon, even people my age. So…I think I've always known this, that I'm…bisexual. I just never knew how to express it, so…I never did."
Korra had, for an instant, struggled to say the word 'bisexual.' But after she had said it, an intense feeling of relief swept over her, as if she had been wearing lead weights around her neck and they had suddenly been lifted. While she had been talking, she'd been looking out at the City again, gazing past the watery bay while she collected her thoughts. When she had finished, Korra turned to look back up at Pema. She was smiling, and the worry had left her face. Korra saw that there was no disgust in her expression, no judgmental glint in her eyes. Just kindness and understanding.
Pema spoke up now that Korra was done. "I know this wasn't easy for you, and I'm proud of you, Korra. Just know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you, and the same goes for Asami. I assure you that everyone else here will welcome the two of you, when you decide to let them know."
After another moment of quiet, both Korra and Pema had finished their tea, and Pema gathered the cups and kettle and put them back on the tray. She reached out to give Korra's hand one last reassuring squeeze before going back inside. Those airbender kids are so lucky to have a mom like Pema, Korra thought.
Korra lagged behind Pema for just a few seconds, taking one last look out over the bay towards the City. Its glass towers were now dazzlingly bright, as the sun was now fully risen.
Asami awoke to an empty room, and an empty bed. When she had opened her eyes, Korra wasn't lying next to her. It was also still pretty dark in this room due to its windowless nature, so she turned on the bedside lamp. She turned over to look at the other bed, thinking that Korra had maybe moved over there. But she wasn't there, either. Asami threw the covers off and tried to sit up, immediately regretting it. Oh yeah, she remembered. Those are still broken.
She laid her head back down onto the pillow and gazed up at the ceiling, wondering where Korra had gone. The memory of last night's kiss was at the forefront of Asami's mind, and she took this moment alone to silently rejoice. Asami had managed to tell (and show) Korra how she felt, how she really felt about her, and Korra hadn't refuted or ridiculed her. It suddenly occurred to her that Korra had actually been the one to initiate the kiss. This fact had somehow escaped her in the emotional whirlwind of last night, and for Asami this shed a new light on things.
It meant that Korra had been feeling what Asami had been feeling! It meant that Korra was just like her, and they could now take their relationship to the level that Asami had only dreamt about. She didn't have to feel guilty about these feelings anymore, because Korra felt the same way! Here she was, lying with broken ribs and unable to even get out of bed, and yet Asami had never felt happier.
But she did wonder what these new feelings must be doing to Korra. Asami had seen the momentary panic on Korra's face last night after Pema had walked in on them, and she worried that Korra might be struggling with this new attraction. Asami didn't want to add another topic of worry to Korra's already-full list.
Asami resolved to make her intentions clear to Korra the next chance she got: she definitely wanted an actual relationship with Korra, if she was willing. But Asami was fairly certain that this rocky early phase wouldn't last long for them. She knew Korra, and she knew that when her blue-eyed friend put her mind to something she saw it through.
Besides, Asami had seen her friend's desire reveal itself last night. Even though their kiss couldn't have lasted longer than fifteen seconds, Asami felt Korra pour her heart out in that brief span of time. When Korra had moved in to kiss her, Asami's own skin had been electrified with happiness. There was no doubt that the spark between them was real. Korra just needed a little guidance, perhaps. Heck, Asami could use a little help herself.
Asami suddenly began to laugh aloud at an insane thought she'd just had. Before last night, she had been worried for months about how or when she was going to tell Korra how she felt. During that time, the memory of Giji Kirasito's cruel rejection had haunted her relentlessly, effectively preventing Asami from approaching Korra with this information. She hadn't wanted to ruin their friendship over a stupid crush. But their kiss last night proved that this was definitely not a one-sided crush, and Asami had just now thought of what Giji would say. In her head, Asami pictured herself arm-in-arm with Korra as they had run into Giji at a restaurant or something, and Giji's head had exploded into confetti from jealousy. Perhaps it was a little childish to want to rub it in Giji's face, but it still felt good to think about.
As she lay there thinking about all of this, the door to the room opened quietly. Asami pushed herself up onto her pillow, her aching ribs still preventing a full sitting position after lying flat all night.
Korra poked her head around the door, and it was highly comical because her head was much lower to the ground than it should be, due to her being in a wheelchair. But Asami bit back a laugh and smiled instead.
"Sorry," Korra said, wheeling herself in and shutting the door. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"No, you're fine. I was already awake, I just…can't get up," Asami replied. She was getting used to breathing only at half-capacity, but she still had to pause mid-sentence frequently.
"Oh," Korra said. She had rolled herself over to Asami's bedside. "Well…am I too late for a 'good morning'?" she asked with a smile.
Asami smiled back. "Good morning."
She reached out and took one of Korra's hands, and was pleasantly surprised when Korra returned the gesture by twining her fingers tightly through Asami's. Korra held her gaze for a moment before continuing.
"Some week we've had, huh?" she said with a sigh.
Asami burst out laughing, though only as loud as her ribcage would allow. "You can say that again."
"Some week we've…" Korra teased, threatening playfully to actually say it again.
Asami beamed at her. Korra's handling this very well, she thought.
"Don't…make me laugh," Asami said as she began to get short on breath again.
After she calmed down a bit, Asami spoke up. They were still sitting there holding hands. "Listen, Korra," she began. "If you…don't want to. I mean, I don't want…you to feel…obligated…" she trailed off, hoping that Korra would catch her meaning. She didn't want Korra to feel pressured into continuing this, this new evolution of their friendship.
Thankfully Korra caught on, saving Asami some breath. "I do want this, Asami. I really do."
Asami could've died right then and it would've been fine by her. Although, she was pretty glad that she didn't die, so that she could stay here with Korra.
Korra's stomach suddenly made an audible rumbling sound, indicating that the intimate moment was over and that Korra was hungry. "Um," Korra said, blushing at how loud her stomach had groaned. "Ready for breakfast?"
"Sure. Will you help…?" Asami asked, holding out both hands to indicate she needed help getting out of bed. The irony of this was so palpable it could've been cut with a knife. Just a few days ago, Asami had been helping Korra in and out of bed. Now, Korra was still wheelchair-bound, but she was now assisting Asami.
Korra positioned her wheelchair between the beds, making sure to leave space between herself and Asami's bed so that Asami could stand up. She lowered the little lever that acted as a brake to prevent her chair from moving, and she grabbed hold of Asami's hands. Asami held her breath, and Korra pulled her up off the bed and onto her feet. But Asami's ribs protested yet again at the tugging motion, and she went slack in pain for a moment and fell forward onto Korra.
Asami was practically laying on top of Korra in her chair, and Korra had both hands around her waist. After a brief moment of surprise, she looked down at Korra and smiled, who smiled back. Asami put her arms around Korra's neck and eased into her lap a bit more. Their faces were very close.
"Maybe we should…just stay here?" Asami offered playfully.
Korra's stomach erupted in another groan of hunger, this one perhaps even louder than the last. "Sorry," she said sheepishly, her smile turning into a slight grimace of embarrassment.
Asami laughed softly. "I'm just teasing you. I'm hungry, too…let's go."
But before either of them moved to separate, Asami brought her in for a small kiss. Nothing special, just a very quick and light peck on Korra's lips. When she pulled away, Korra's whole visage was shining with delight. Asami put her feet back on the ground, and with Korra's help she stood up.
The two of them left their room and headed towards the large dining room for breakfast. As they approached the door, Korra could hear that everyone was already seated and busy eating. Asami held the door for Korra wheel through, preferring now to roll herself, and they entered the large room.
This was the main dining area on Air Temple Island, though there were two smaller eating rooms on both sides as well. This large room had two long tables set up parallel to each other, with rows of chairs on both sides of each table. Altogether, there were ten chairs available in this dining room, as each table sat five people. The new airbender trainees typically took their meals in the other two rooms (though when the weather was nice, a lot of them ate outside), as there was an unspoken hierarchy already established in the new Air Nation. Tenzin and his family, along with Korra and Asami, always ate in this large room, and the other airbenders ate in the other rooms. That's just how it was, and no one argued to change it.
Tenzin, Pema, Bumi, Kya, and Jinora sat at one table, and they each greeted Korra and Asami as they came in. Ikki and Meelo were sitting at the other table, giving Jinora mean looks from across the room. Apparently they were upset that Jinora wouldn't sit with them.
When they entered the room, Tenzin stood up. "Good morning, you two. How're you both feeling?"
"Fine," they both said at once.
Pema also stood up and went back into the kitchen to fetch their meals. Korra wheeled over to Ikki and Meelo's table and pushed aside one of the chairs, since she didn't need one. Asami sat next to her on the left, and the two airbender kids were across from them.
Meelo was giving Asami some funny looks, and he kept inspecting the layer of bandages that was visible around her collar bone.
"Are you gonna die, pretty lady?" he asked her. He never could remember Asami's name.
Asami smiled. "No…I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine," he continued, noticing her shortness of breath. Meelo turned to Korra next. "What about you Korra, are you gonna die? You've been in that thing for an awful long time," he said, pointing to her wheelchair.
Ikki pushed her brother. "You are so rude!"
"Am not!" he retorted.
Korra was silently wishing that she'd taken Asami's offer to stay in their room.
Pema came back with a plate in each hand. She walked over and placed one in front of Korra and gave the other to Asami, who both thanked her for the food. Pema then rounded on her two children.
"I heard that, you two," she scolded, wagging a finger at them. "Leave the girls alone and eat your breakfast. That means all of it, Meelo." Pema then smiled at Korra and gave her a quick confidential wink, then went back to the other table and resumed her spot next to Tenzin.
Asami leaned close to whisper to Korra. She had seen Pema's wink. "What was that about?" she asked, worried that Korra might still be stressed at how Pema had interrupted them last night.
"I had a talk with her earlier. It's fine, she understands," Korra explained, not going into detail because the two airbender kids were watching them, trying to hear what Korra said.
"Hey!" Meelo said. "There's no secrets in my house!"
"Meelo, hush!" Pema said from the other table, shooting daggers from her eyes at him. The little airbending boy folded his arms and pouted in his chair. "Thanks a lot, Korra," he mumbled. Korra, Asami, and Ikki laughed.
Korra's stomach hadn't been lying: she was really hungry. Today Pema had made fresh biscuits with a bowl of piping-hot oatmeal on the side, and there were a few jars of honey, butter, and jelly on the table for the biscuits. Korra buttered one biscuit and gave a generous layer of jelly to another, eating as quickly and politely as she could. Pema had given Korra and Asami three of these large biscuits, and even though Korra was hungry she didn't think she could finish all of them along with the oatmeal. But she was going to try.
Korra noticed Asami was having a little more difficulty eating. She figured that it was because of her injured ribcage: you still have to breathe while you chew, after all. But Asami was eating, just much slower than Korra, so she didn't worry too much about it.
After a little while, Korra heard Tenzin clear his throat loudly, indicating that he had something to say for everyone to hear. He didn't stand up, instead looking around to make sure everyone was attentive. What Korra hadn't noticed, however, was that Lin Beifong and two metalbenders she didn't know had entered the room, and they were also looking to Tenzin.
"I think we're all here now," he began, "so let's get to it." He turned to look at Korra and Asami, his expression softening a bit. "The past couple of days have been hard on us all, especially for you two," he said, nodding his head at them. "Lin and I have discussed increasing the amount of active security here on the island, and no matter what happens, that will still take effect. Lin has agreed to send more of her metalbenders as we move forward, but…" he trailed off, looking at his sister, Kya. He turned back to Korra and Asami. "The news of these recent attacks on the island, the attacks on you two, has spread throughout the City. Therefore, Kya and I, along with Lin, Bumi, and Pema, believe that it would be best to get you two out of Republic City for the time being."
Korra was quiet for a moment. She had considered this idea as well, though she had no clue where to go. Also, Korra didn't like the idea of running away with her tail between her legs.
Asami spoke first, echoing Korra's thoughts. "But where would we go? Even if we left…Tenora would find out. He has vast…resources at his…disposal. He'll find out…somehow." She looked to Korra, and Korra grabbed her hand under the table, squeezing it gently.
Now it was Lin's turn to speak. "That's why we're going to smuggle you two out of the City."
