9:
It was nearly twelve thirty but Patty lay awake with eyes glued to her bedroom ceiling. Mittel was sleeping at the foot of her bed. In her hand, Patty clutched the snowflake ornament that she had retrieved from the basement floor back at the beginning of this whole mess.
Can I really quit? She thought. What will happen if I do? Will they take away all the money? Will they sue us? What about Mom and Dad?
She looked down at the snowflake. In the darkness she could make out the three crayon figures scrawled onto the paper. They had been so happy back then, all of them. Even without money, things had never seemed as bleak as they did now. How did things get so complicated?
Soon, she knew, that episode would air. The whole world would see her kissing a strange boy that she called Harold. But all her friends would know. Not only was that boy not Harold, but she had been willing to pretend he was. They would know that she had betrayed the real Harold Berman. The one who, despite his oafishness and immaturity, had stood up for her and once brazenly screamed that he would beat up anyone who had a problem with their friendship.
How did things get so complicated? She thought again. I wish I could go back to when they weren't. Back to when I was Pretty Patty Petunia and not Tricia.
Harold avoided her at school the next day. Patty knew he was embarrassed and frankly, she was too. But, she reasoned, if he saw her kissing another boy on TV in a few weeks, things would probably never go back to normal.
Finally, she cornered him after school as he was walking down the front steps of PS 118. "We need to talk." She said, blocking his path. He tried to sidestep around her but she wouldn't let him. "We need to talk about what happened."
"Aw, jeez Patty! Do we hafta?" He finally made it around her and down the steps. "You know, I feel stupid enough as it is…"
"Harold, I know they set you up."
"You do?" He turned in surprise. She nodded. "They told you?"
"Not exactly. But they did the same thing to another boy."
Harold narrowed his eyes. "Another boy? You mean, they got another guy to come in and try to…" He suddenly flushed red. "You know…"
"Well…" Now it was Patty's turn to be red. "He didn't have to try exactly…"
Harold looked blank. "What do you mean?"
Patty turned even redder. Harold's jaw dropped. "You mean…" He clutched his head. "I don't believe this! I just don't believe this!" He hollered. "You're willing to kiss another guy but not me! Who is he?" Harold demanded and held up a fist. "Whoever he is, I'm gonna pound him!"
Patty pushed down his fist. "Harold, he caught me off guard, ok? And I already slugged him."
"You did?" Patty nodded and Harold slunk down to the steps. She sat next to him. "So you didn't wanna kiss him?"
"I didn't even know him. He was just some model they brought in to pretend to be you." Realizing what she had said, Patty clamped her mouth shut but it was too late.
"Pretend to be me? You mean, they got some hottie to come in and you called him Harold and acted like he was me? On camera? So everybody in the country is gonna think that guy is me?"
"I'm sorry, Harold. I didn't want to…"
Harold looked hurt and revolted. "I can't believe you did that! I thought you were my friend!"
"I am your friend! Don't you remember what I told you at the beginning? We'll always be friends!"
Harold looked away. Patty guessed he didn't want her to see tears in his eyes. "I don't know if I want a friend who's willing to replace me with some dumb model guy."
"Oh Harold…"
"It was a lousy thing to do, Patty. A lousy, stinking, rotten thing to do."
Patty looked at her saddle shoes. "You're right, Harold."
He turned to look at her. "I-I am?"
"I should've never let Lyle talk me into it. I should've just said no."
"Lyle…" said Harold. "That's the guy who promised me lots of food if I tried to kiss you."
"Oh he did, did he? That creep." The two were quiet for a minute as they watched cars pass by in the street. "This whole reality show has really screwed everything up. I wish we had never started it."
"Me too." Harold agreed.
"The whole country now thinks I'm some ditzy cheerleader who likes to wear skimpy clothes and that I have a Chihuahua."
"I know." Harold sat back and looked at the sky. "It's too bad you couldn't show 'em the real you. Make a show of your own…"
"A show of my own?" Patty started, and then smiled. "Harold, you're a genius!"
"Nah. I thought I was once, but it turns out the aptitude tests got mixed up…" Patty leaned over and kissed Harold on the cheek. He blushed fiercely but smiled as he touched his face.
"Harold, do you have a video camera?"
"Yeah, why?"
"We're going to make our own show."
