Chapter 8: All These Things I've Done

Scorpius never wanted to see Albus Potter again. That was his big solution.

All the progress he'd made in the last few weeks were gone in a second. He had started to break away from who his father wanted him to be and become who he wanted to be and now life just had to come back and punch him in the face.

Isn't that how it always seems to happen? Everything looks like it's going great and then suddenly you realize that you really like the way Albus Potter smiles at you and you begin to wonder what his tongue would feel like in your mouth?

Yeah, so that happened.

Scorpius left the Owlery with his new and obviously foolproof plan in his mind: Operation avoid Albus Potter at all cost or else suffer imminent death.

Scorpius walked down the stairs, barely looking where he was going or apparently looking out for who he was about to walk into.

"Not drinking that out of a straw this time I see," said Albus Potter smiling that damn smile like he didn't have a care in world.

Scorpius looked up at the ceiling and yelled, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YA?!"

And then, without saying anything to the very confused Potter, Scorpius brushed past him and ran off to breakfast like a small child.

~O-O~

Scorpius threw himself down in his seat across from Cale at the Slytherin table. Cale's head was down and he was obviously not as hangover-free as Scorpius was. For the moment, Scorpius didn't give a shit about that.

"You know," he said, "I've finally figured out the meaning of life. It's a trick question. There is none. Life sucks and fucks you over again and again until you fucking die."

Cale looked up. "Finally figured it out, have you?"

"I- what?"

Cale laughed and then groaned because it made his head hurt. "God, I've known since day one of fifth year it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time."

Scorpius shook his head. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

Cale was done beating around the bush. "The fact that how one day you and Potter with be holding hands and jumping each other's bones every chance you get."

Cale, ever casual about everything, said it loudly like it wasn't a secret, causing a few fifth years to look over.

Scorpius gripped his cup so tight that he wasn't sure which would break first, the cup or his sanity. He tried to say something but only strange sounds were coming from his mouth.

"Ya, okay, you need to leave before you have an aneurysm," said Cale. He pulled Scorpius to his feet and dragged him out of the Great Hall.

"Where do you want to go, Scor."

"Let's go to the quidditch pitch," deadpanned Scorpius distractedly. "Then I can jump off the stands and end my pathetic and unsatisfying life."

Cale rolled his eyes. "Merlin, you are such a drama queen. So you have the hots for Potter, big deal. He's fit and nice and totally gay as the fourth of July so what's the problem?"

"What's the PROBLEM?" Scorpius was shouting now. "THE PROBLEM IS THAT I WAS ALREADY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR DRACO MALFOY AND NOW THIS! I HAD JUST STARTED TO FEEL REAL AND NOW I'M FUCKING BACK TO WHERE I STARTED, CALE. DO YOU GET IT NOW?"

Scorpius was fuming as he glared at Cale. Cale looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear Scorpius say things he would regret when he calmed down. A couple second years were coming up from the dungeons so Cale pulled Scorpius up the main staircase.

"Maybe you could just-" Cale began. Scorpius didn't want to hear anything he suggested.

"No," he spat. "Just no. For once Cale, shut the hell up."

The boys kept walking only to walk right into Albus and Finn. Scorpius looked like he'd been shot while Cale looked surprised.

"I apologize for calling you a drama queen, Scor," he said. "Your life really does suck apparently."

Finn looked lost. "Uhh, what's up?"

Albus was looking at Scorpius. "Sorry about this morning," he said unsurely. "I'm not sure what I did but you seemed really… upset."

And then he made the fatal mistake of touching Scorpius's arm in a way he probably thought was reassuring.

And that's when Scorpius Malfoy lost his mind.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, POTTER," he hissed, yanking his arm away. "WE ARE NOT FRIENDS."

Finn looked absolutely speechless. Cale buried his face in his hands and said, "Oh, shit."

Albus was shocked and appalled and then suddenly he was angrier than he had ever been.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!" he yelled back. "WHAT DID I DO TO PISS YOU OFF SO BAD?"

"You didn't need to do anything," Scorpius spat. "You're a Potter and I'm a Malfoy and that's all there will ever fucking be."

Scorpius was so mad he didn't notice Albus shudder and close his eyes, nor did he notice the strange look in them when his green eyes opened again. Finn noticed.

"Oh, this is not good," he said.

Al stepped closer to Scorpius, something Scorpius was not expecting. He tried to look confident and stone cold but his eyes betrayed him.

"What's the matter, Princess," Al asked in a deep voice. "Didn't like how we danced together last night? Didn't like how I had my hands on your waist and you were practically begging me to-"

Scorpius punched Al so hard in the face that Al stumbled backwards and crashed to the floor. He stood up faster than Scorpius thought possible and punched Scorpius in the jaw, smashing his face against the stone wall. People on the stairs stopped walking to look.

Scorpius shook off the dizzy feeling and side tackled Al into the side of the staircase. Al twisted and Scorpius's arm got caught in the rail. There was a sickening crack as Scorpius shoulder dislocated. Several people screamed. Scorpius, nearly blind with pain, stood and with his left hand punched Al who fell backward and cracked his head against the wall. He crumpled to the floor, blood pouring from his forehead and didn't move again.

Scorpius fell to his knees as his vision swam. He could see people running forward but he wasn't sure who they were. He grasped at his dislocated arm before slipping sideways into nothing.

~O-O~

Albus woke up in the hospital with a splitting headache and a strange coconut taste in his mouth. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital wing which either meant he had been obliviated (unlikely) or Al had made an appearance (bingo).

He lifted a heavy arm that felt like lead and touched the thick piece of gauze that was taped to his forehead. He groaned which was almost immediately reciprocated from the bed next to him.

Scorpius Malfoy was lying only a few feet from Albus. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting his lip like he was trying not to cry out. Scorpius's eyes eventually opened and he took much less time to absorb things and look over at Albus.

"I'm sorry," said Albus before Scorpius got the chance to say anything. He couldn't remember what happened but if Al was involved than it was definitely bad.

Scorpius looked away. He sighed and rubbed his shoulder.

"No," he muttered. "I flipped out, it wasn't you."

Albus didn't want to ask what had happened but he made an educated guess of what Al did.

"Maybe we tried too fast," said Albus quietly. Scorpius's eyes flickered back to him. "I thought that maybe we could stop being stubborn and become friends but maybe we should have slowed down."

Scorpius stared at Albus Potter open mouthed, not even bothering to look normal. Frankly, he was amazed. Amazed at how maybe Albus Potter wasn't just a crazy... sociopath.

Scorpius sat up, ignoring the throbbing pain in his shoulder. He remembered why they were here, why he had freaked, but for right now he didn't care.

"Maybe I was just using you," he murmured. "I became your friend and let you corrupt me to fulfill my need to be reckless and defy my father."

The second Scorpius said it he knew it was a lie. He had actually liked the little bit of time where Albus Potter had been his friend.

Albus looked at him, calculating. "Maybe you were just a distraction for me, from everything." He paused. "From myself."

Their conversation died off. The silence in the room was nearly deafening but neither could find anything to stay. Albus thought about the small yet somehow significant difference of having Scorpius as a friend, even just for a little bit, had meant. Scorpius thought about the weird feeling at the pit of his stomach that he knew wouldn't go away by starting a fistfight in the hall.

After a long while of staring at the ceiling Scorpius licked his lips and said, "Do you taste coconut?"

Albus tried not grin. Even if they couldn't be friends, Albus was glad that Scorpius would at least be nice to him. Because spending six years jumping down each others throats gets old after awhile and Albus likes change.

Not that his life needed to be shaken up any more.

~O-O~

For the next 72 hours, Scorpius ignored Albus entirely. Albus was disappointed but he managed to convince himself that it didn't matter. Cale tried to talk to Scorpius about it but he always got the same back off look that Scorpius was famous for.

After the first three days Scorpius could no longer ignore Albus, mainly because they were put into joint detention for the rest of term to "work out their issues". Scorpius thought it was a little ridiculous. Him and Albus had physically fought in the halls and now they were going to be in detention alone together? Did the professors not see how horribly that could end?

The first detention was passed in silence. They sorted books by hand in the library and didn't speak to each other. Albus would steal little side glances at Scorpius but every time he did, Scorpius would be pointedly looking anywhere else.

It wasn't until their fourth detention did they talk. They were in the trophy room, cleaning without magic. Scorpius was trying to fix a broken clasp on a trophy cabinet when Albus suddenly burst out laughing and said, "Oh man, you gotta come see this."

Scorpius went over, his curiosity getting the better of him. Albus was looking at the wall where Scorpius could see were hundreds of messages written on the stone.

"What the hell?" he said.

"Look at this one," said Albus, pointing at one message in particular. Scorpius leaned in.

Draco Malfoy is a wanker

Sincerely, everybody.

That was the funniest thing Scorpius had ever seen. He saw the look on Albus's face like he was suddenly worried that Scorpius would get pissed about this. He had obviously forgotten how much Scorpius loathed his father.

"That's absolutely brilliant," he breathed, scanning the rest. "Bloody hell, this must have been here for awhile."

He saw ones that were there even from before his parents or Albus's were at school. He saw one that said Harry Potter has a massive dick which he pointed out to Albus. Albus thought it was funny but still punched him in the arm for it.

Scorpius took a quick look around the room and thought that they'd done enough work for one night. He sat down in front of the wall with his back leaning against a large cabinet and read what other people had written.

Scorpius could have looked at the writings for hours. For some reason, looking at peoples' signatures or confessions from years ago made him think that maybe his problems weren't that bad. That someday, his problems will be nothing more than scratchings on a wall.

He had almost forgotten that Albus was in the room with him until Albus was absentmindedly passing him a licorice wand while chewing on his own. Scorpius accepted it without a word and permitted himself a moment to watch Albus lean casually against a stone pillar to read the wall. He could have been a model.

A model for licorice wands.

~O-O~

Three more detentions and the trophy room was finished. They moved on to the history of magic classroom that desperately needed cleaning. Just because Binns was dead and didn't have to breathe did not mean that the rest of the people in the class didn't.

Albus was lying underneath one of the tables on his back, holding a piece of metal and trying to scrape off the pieces of gum that were stuck to the underside of the table. Scorpius was crouched on a window ledge, trying to remove the curtains so that they could be cleaned which Scorpius assumed hadn't been done since Binns had fucking DIED.

Every few seconds or so, Scorpius's eyes would dart over to Albus. He still got a weird feeling at the pit of his stomach every time he looked at him. At the beginning of detention (two and a half bloody hours ago) Scorpius had just decided that he was just going to bury what he thought about Albus and never let it surface again and just be cool with him. Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, he liked having Albus as company.

"Ow, fuck," Albus muttered suddenly.

Scorpius peeked over at him and saw Albus clutching his left arm. Not knowing that Scorpius was watching him, Albus pushed up his shirtsleeve until the white bandage poked out at the end. He brushed his hand over it and winced suddenly. Scorpius looked away and busied himself with the curtains, not wanting Albus to know he'd seen.

It could have just been an accident. Quidditch collision maybe or swordfight with Finn because according to Cale they do some weird shit sometimes. But Scorpius knew somehow that is wasn't anything like that. He'd seen Albus in some of his strange near manic periods. He'd seen sad, depressed Albus smoking cigarettes and drinking alone. He knew it wasn't an accident.

And that made Scorpius like him even more.

~O-O~

Scorpius was already at detention when Albus showed up. It took Scorpius all of two seconds to realize that something was wrong. Albus's hair was sticking up everywhere, he was dressed all in black and he looked like he wanted to punch something. Or many things. Or everything possible.

Albus walked right past Scorpius without so much as a look. He picked up the long handled broom and stood on top of table and went to work cleaning the cobwebs from the ceiling. Scorpius stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked, before grabbing another broom to start on the floor.

Albus lasted about ten minutes. He was leaning against a bookshelf to get the far corner of the room when he slipped and he smacked his left arm against the top shelf.

"OW HOLY FUCKING FUCK," he shouted angrily. "Fuckin-!"

He punched the bookshelf in retaliation and then gripped his left arm that was throbbing. He must have forgotten that Scorpius was in the room because he pulled back his sleeve and began unraveling the bandage that was now spotted with blood.

Scorpius watched in horror as Albus took the bandage off completely and threw it across the room. He was huffing in pain and anger but all Scorpius could see was the long red gash that ran all the way down Albus's forearm.

"Oh... god," Scorpius whispered before he could stop himself. Albus rounded on him.

"What!" he spat. "Sorry I'm not fucking perfect, you fucking-"

Albus grunted in pain and pulled out his wand. For one terrifying second Scorpius thought he was going to hex him but instead he pointed it at his own arm that had started to bleed. He muttered something under his breath and a silvery mist erupted from the tip of his wand. It wrapped itself around his arm and Albus's face turned white with pain. When the mist disappeared, the gash had stopped bleeding but it was red and puckered and looked painful as hell.

"Fuckin' Rose," Albus grumbled. He waved his wand and a fresh bandage appeared. "Thinks she knows goddamn everything." He put on a bad falsetto voice and imitated his cousin. "I'm fucking Rose Weasley, I fucking know everything. I understand the world completely and think my cousin should too. I can just snap my fingers and he should be okay again and he should smile more! FUCK."

Albus cursed again as he rewrapped his arm. When he was done he sat down on the floor and looked up at Scorpius. His expression was unexpectantly soft and calm.

"Wow," he said. "I'm sorry for... Not sure why I just did that."

"You tried to kill yourself," Scorpius said. "Was it in the summer? Shouldn't it have stopped bleeding by now? Why won't it close? Don't kill yourself, please." He clamped his mouth shut, feeling like a complete prat.

Albus grimaced. "It should have closed by now," he said, "if I hadn't charmed it so that it couldn't like an idiot."

Scorpius bowed his head and scratched uncomfortably at the back of his neck. "God. If this were a story the reader would be overcome with overwhelming angst."

Albus snorted and actually cracked a smile. "Too bad this isn't a story."

"Yeah, too bad," said Scorpius, swallowing hard, "because if it were I would pull back my sleeve and take off my watch and show you that were not all that different, you and I."

Albus's face was unreadable. Before he could change his mind, Scorpius reached down and undid his watch. He flashed the inside of his wrist to Albus, all the while remembering that he had never shown anyone that before, not even Cale. Albus looked at it for a moment before he met Scorpius's eyes and said, "Guess we make a pretty fucked up pair."

Scorpius found himself trying to suppress a smile. "You can say that again."

"Guess we make a pretty fucked-"

"Shut up."

Albus laughed and Scorpius realized that Albus had gone from angry and upset to laughing in a few minutes and Scorpius knew that it was all because of him.

~O-O~

A few days later the boys had another detention. Except this time Al showed up.

Scorpius arrived first. He sat down cross-legged atop one of the tables and used a toothbrush to clean out the years of grime from the wood. He looked up when he heard the door fly open and close again, and for Al to stride across the room like he owned the place.

"So I've been thinking," he started.

"That's definitely not a good idea," said Scorpius. Al flipped him off.

"What I was going to say wasthat I'd given you your first cigarette and gotten you drunk for the first time so I was thinking to myself, why not go for the trifecta?"

Scorpius watched as Albus pulled out a joint from his shirt pocket.

"You can't be serious," said Scorpius. Al winked mischievously. "Seriously!? Mate, what if a professor comes by! What if-"

"Oh, blah blah black sheep," Al interrupted. "They won't come. Will you do it with me? Do you trust me?"

Scorpius thought about it for a moment before realizing that he'd already decided. Because he knew that he could never deny Albus Potter anything.

"Fine, fine," he muttered. "Whatever."

Al grinned like this was the best news he has ever heard. He climbed onto the same table that Scorpius was on and sat the same way so that their knees were touching. Al pulled a lighter out of his pocket. He lit the joint and placed it between his lips. Scorpius briefly wondered why he used a muggle lighter and not his wand. Al breathed in but kept the smoke in his mouth. He took the joint from his mouth and breathed the smoke into his lungs.

"That's how you do it," he said, passing the joint to Scorpius.

Scorpius took it and felt how it made him feel holding it between his fingers. Against what the parents say, it did make him feel cool. Older. He felt like someone who had his life together and was... dignified as strange as that sounds. Scorpius grinned slightly before he brought the joint to his lips and took a drag.

It didn't taste anything like cigarettes. It was harsh and painful but Scorpius did not cough. He took another hit and passed it to Al.

"Alright then," was all he said.

Al grinned. "God, you're so cute."

He took a drag and cleared his throat before passing it back to Scorpius. They continued this for a few minutes in silence until all that was left was the burning stub. Al extinguished it by pinching it between his thumb and forefinger. If it burned him, Al didn't show it.

"How do you feel?" Al asked.

"No different."

Scorpius could tell that Al was trying not to smile. "Okay. We'll wait. Let's get back to cleaning."

Albus hopped off the table and went off to start organizing the bookshelf. Scorpius shrugged to no one in particular and went back to cleaning the toothbrush with his table.

Wait no.

Shit.

"Albus," said Scorpius.

"Yes," said Al.

"Ya, I'm definitely high."

"Good."

There was a quiet moment before both boys burst out laughing. Scorpius wasn't really sure what was funny and yet he could not stop laughing.

Al sat down on the ground and leant back against the bookshelf he'd been working at.

"Never in a million year would I have imagined this," he said. "Getting high with Scorpius Malfoy. Unbelievable."

Scorpius grinned and said, "I'm glad you succeeded in roping me in for your trifecta." He laughed. "Trifecta sounds really weird right now. Trifecta trifecta trifecta."

"Alright, Alright," said Al, "it's only nine o'clock, don't give yourself a heart attack." Al's eyes then grew comically wide. "Oh shit. I said I'd meet Nathan tonight at nine."

"Ha, are you shagging that Ravenclaw?" asked Scorpius. He was joking.

"Yup," said Al.

Scorpius's jaw dropped. "I- oh my god, really? You're serious?"

"Yup," said Al again. "Though it's pretty fucked now. He's really into me and I do not like him at all."

Scorpius could see exactly what he meant by that. Even though Al was high Scorpius could not believe that he had just opened up to him like that. Does this mean that we're friends?

"Yes," said Al, grinning. Scorpius didn't remember saying that out loud. He looked at Al and burst out laughing at the sight of his stupid grinning face. Though Scorpius knew he couldn't just forget his little crush, he realized that he liked Potter's friendship more than he cared for his own torn feelings.

A little while later, Scorpius found himself back in the halls of Hogwarts having finished detention with Al Potter standing by his side. Scorpius was staring at the ceiling but he could feel Al's eyes on him.

"I'm really sorry for fighting you that day," said Scorpius suddenly. "I am a highly unstable person and apparently you just... set me off I guess. Not your fault though," Scorpius added quickly.

He peeked down at Al to see him giving him a wide grin.

"Here," he said, grabbing Scorpius's shoulders and pushing him down. "You can make it up to me."

And that is how stoned Scorpius Malfoy gave stoned Al Potter a piggyback through the castle in the middle of the night.

Author's note!

I hope that you all like the story so far. Next chapter will be out soon

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