Chapter 9

Those tiny little forbidden heavy bearing words that cannot, should not, shall not be spoken by someone of my status: "I want to fall in love."

I felt myself suck in my breath, not realizing how such dangerous a thing was just said as suddenly an obnoxious laughter erupted from further back in the garden. I glanced towards the woman who was laughing as if she had something caught in her throat. "Minerva?" I questioned turning to the upper class woman who let a smirk slowly appear on her face. "It's Lady Minerva to you, maid." Minerva cackled staring at me as I felt myself bite my lip, she wasn't supposed to know such a thing. Not yet, not at least until I've gone home.

"I could really quickly return you to where you came from..." Minerva laughed as I felt myself attempt to back away slowly a pulse of dread echoing throughout my body, something didn't feel right about that woman. I felt knees hit the back of the fountain causing me to trip to sitting on the fountain. "Good, why you are sitting there I shall tell you the true duties of our princes. Their duty is to marry one of the upper class women, such as myself, and continue such a royal blooded line. Their next responsibility is to teach each of the upper class how to use their magic, because let's face it only the upper class is important. Also only we have magic. Then, comes looking after their kingdoms, afterwards comes the filth of other cities. And then there's you...the lowliest on the scale right now you are nothing but a toy, a toy that is going to be thrown aside once he's done. You are nothing more than something to get back at Gajeel, like a younger brother-older brother relationship." Minerva smiled it was so sadistic and evil it sent a shiver through my spin as my hands curled around the fountain's cobblestone structure.

"I-I, I am someone Prince Rogue sent out on a spying mission to retrieve information."

"Don't pull my leg! You can't even entertain me with that lie for a little bit! I bet you don't even know the Prince's real name!" She laughed. "Remember, you are just a toy. And toys are meant to be shared." Minerva laughed a smile curled up on her face as she came closer suddenly shoving my shoulder causing me to topple over the water plunging high above my head. "I can't breathe!" I attempted to scream feeling a substance that I had swallowed millions of times to keep myself alive attempt to kill me. Not only that this thing, this magic, that I was discovering had left my body half exhausted.

Not only that, one of the ways of murdering one of the maids that "King" Jose had found fun was by drowning, so it was hereby ordered that not a single one of the maids born my year or afterwards would be taught to swim. "I can't breathe!" I felt my hands instinctively reach for where the world was echoing out light. It was so dark; I had never known a water fountain to be so deep. Maybe it had gotten deeper through the magic of wishes.

"I want him to notice me!"

"I need a new job"

"I'm scared of Minerva, save me!"

"Help me find my way home!"

"I need money!"

"Will he ever look at me?"

"I wish to be able to go to the carnival tonight"

"I want to be free!"

"I want to fall in love!"

Voices echoed through my head as I felt the burning echo in my throat as suddenly it was alright, it felt kind of nice. These were peoples' wishes, feelings that echoed deep in their hearts. And I was about to drown in them. "This actually isn't so bad." I thought watching the two dark figures talk at the top of the fountain as if they were so far away, weren't they always? They were always so far away, so different from me. "The one...the one I was in love with, was the prince. It would've never worked anyway." I thought to myself laughing at such conceited naivety.

I wanted-No, I loved the prince, and yet I was such a simple, stupid, worthless...maid, who didn't even belong. "Hey, Juvia...I'll see you soon." I thought shutting my eyes as bubbles echoed around me. "Don't give up on love so easily! Pure love is true! It'll work out!" Juvia's voice echoed, oh if I remembered correctly she was in love with a noble wasn't she? Something like that. She was so bold and obvious about it too.

"Sorry, Juvia...I think I didn't have a heart that could stand up like your's...my knees are so weak." I attempted to whisper feeling the water usher in so quickly. Suddenly to warm arms wrapped around me causing burning air to automatically be pulled in. "Did you really just try to drown yourself?" An angry voice growled as I looked up towards darkened red eyes glaring down at me for the first time, I was receiving such a dark look as my hand curled around his shirt, shaking, afraid to let go no matter how hard I tried to make it. I attempted to shake my head 'no', struggling with even the slightest movement when I caught a flash of Minerva at my right side causing my shaking to become worse.

"I told you that girl must've gone psychotic! You've got to dispose of her before she endangers the rest of the castle." Minerva instructed receiving a blazing glared from Rogue. "You may be one of the one's in line for Sting's hand but you may not instruct me on what to do. You must remember your place. Or I shall dispose of you immediately." Rogue growled causing a strange look to blossom within his eyes. I felt my hand curl around his shirt wanting him to let me down as my heart pounded about to rip through my chest unsure if it was the realization I had just made in the pond or the need to not be seen with him.

Actually...actually I wanted to be there. "My name's Ryos." He whispered carrying me back towards the castle as we left a puddle dripping throughout the garden. "What did you just tell that girl?!" Minerva shouted causing Rogue to look over his shoulder. "Something you'll never know." Rogue shouted back. "Prince Rogue! A letter has arrived from you-know-who!" one of the guards shouted causing Rogue to look up. "Thank you." He nodded taking the letter with one of the hands he was holding me with. "Is she alright? Should I call a medical mage?" The guard asked. "That won't be necessary...I am retiring to my room for the night." Rogue stated as some of the people behind us gasped. "Do you have a problem?" Rogue asked not slowly nor quickly, but just enough that it would make anyone feel as if they had stepped out of line somewhere along the path.

Faint whispers echoed behind us as he trailed up towards his room. "Ignore their unnecessary gabble." Rogue whispered heading towards his room. I felt him place me down, we were in his room. It was a lot like him, dark yet at the same time apparently full of thoughts. "This magic couldn't protect anything important to me, again." He whispered it was frail and broken as he stared into those hands of his. "No, it wasn't the magic. It was these hands that had protected me." I whispered wrapping my hand around them as he seemed as if he were ready to pull away such a dangerous seeming "weapon" from me. "Celestine...would you still care for such a man as me if I told you I killed my own mother?" He asked. My first impulse said to run keep myself alive, fear any danger my life was never supposed to be long anyway why even try to shorten such a short thing? While my second bet on he was joking. "You're so obviously regretful, so why would I not care? Emotions don't change that easily."

Rogue sat down upon the bed he had placed me on, opening a letter. A small smirk coming to his face as he read. "Turns out my brother has taken a fancy to someone's dear cousin." Rogue said continuing to read and then shutting the letter. "It turns out we will be going to war eventually with PhantomLord after all." Rogue sighed as I glanced up at him.

I glared up at him. This war was starting and it was at least partly my fault. He hadn't said a word less than an arm length away sitting there within his own room. "Rogue, I want to participate in the war!" I said suddenly sitting up, this would be my chance to avenge all of my friends, my family, and anyone who Jose had killed right in front of my eyes. I felt a memory brimming to the edge of my mind. I could feel the water on the edge of my face. I attempted to whip it away. "No, Celestine, I can't let you go out there." He sighed. "Why won't you listen to me! I don't even have to do anything at least let me observe! This is my fault!" I struggled to raise my voice wanting his attention so desperately. "Celestine. I said no." The answer was so calm and hard as if he wouldn't even consider changing his mind. I felt my eyes trail down towards the floor. "Rogue, I want to go to this war…It's important to me that I do." I persisted.

As suddenly he grabbed both my wrists throwing me downwards. "Rogue let go." I murmured struggling with my wrists. "You can't even fight me, a simple mage which isn't even using their magic and you want to go to the battlefield?" He ridiculed. "But you're not a simple mage how is this fair?" I murmured as he sighed at me as if I wasn't getting the point. "I want to-" I started talking as suddenly he begun talking placing his forehead against my own. A thin frail frown upon his face "I've heard the way those PhantomLord guards talk about the maids, must you forget I lived there for quite some time in my early childhood! Those people, how will you fight them? You have no magic nor weapon training!" He shouted as he suddenly lowered his head wrapping his hand around my own head.

"I don't want to lose someone precious to me, all of the women in my life disappear so fast.." he whispered his hands were shaking. "I want to be the only one to embrace you in such a way." He whispered his arms curled around me. "I'll be fine...I-I have my magic, see?" I whispered showing him my hand with a flimsy orange glowing shield as he placed his hand around it, therefore wrapping his larger hands around my own. "Celestine...I meant to tell you days ago...this magic, it was never supposed to be yours." Rogue whispered. "What do you mean? Of course, it's mine. You said it yourself, that this magic is actually mine. Flowing through me as a part of me." I whispered as he nodded.

"Yes and no. That day I sent you to Yukino's school was actually a distraction I had someone observe you."

"Why?"

"It turns out that you are not a direct blood descendant from your magic-line unlike your cousin. Your body isn't holding up to your magic it's always going to be chaotic...the only reason you have your magic, is because my magic was such a catalyst towards it." Rogue sighed. "That's not right wouldn't I have known earlier? I've been around magic not to mention dragon slayers my whole life!" I laughed struggling to find something to prove him wrong. "Yes and no. My magic was apparently compatible to your family's at one point." he sighed.

"So? That doesn't mean-"

"Celestine! That means your magic is capable of killing you if you actually used it! I've given you something horrible once again..." He whispered as suddenly I remembered a scene from my childhood. Gajeel was put in charge of watching over someone, someone who looked just like Rogue...no wait, maybe it was Rogue. He had handed me something to hold onto for his mother when he was done playing...it wound up cutting my hand. A rose was it? "But isn't everyone's magic capable of killing someone?" I whispered wondering exactly what he had meant.

"I'm such a horrible man, possessive and greedy. Like a dragon himself." Rogue suddenly whispered as I reached up placing my hand upon his face. "Ryos" I whispered unsure what to do to reassure him. As he glanced towards me reacting at such a soft word, I blinked there was no way I had the power to make him calm down so suddenly. "I am going to be fine." I whispered as suddenly I felt exhausted. "I'm going to head back…To retire for the night." I whispered glancing towards the door, surely there was someone down at the party whispering foul words of falsitude not that it mattered to me. I sighed going to sit up and falling back immediately, I knew I felt weak but that wasn't exactly right I shouldn't have been that weak. I felt a panic surge through me, everything was so heavy and I couldn't move any of it. "It's alright, just calm down. It happens from someone's over usage of magic also it's your body's lack of compatibility to the magic." He sighed curling one arm around my head and pulling himself closer, this issue did not help in my case whatsoever. "You'll be safe from Minerva here anyway." He whispered falling asleep before I could protest. But right now what he didn't understand that I needed to be protected from wasn't Minerva, not at the moment at the least. It was him that needed to be protected: from something such as my own emotions.

I stole the prince's kiss.