Karigan was bogged down with a feeling of dread as she and Captain Mapstone approached the throne room. She picked idly at a loose thread hemming her greatcoat and thrust a stubborn lock of hair behind her ear. She couldn't remember the last time she experienced such anxiety- though she had walked this path many, many times before, it had always been in fond anticipation. This time was undoubtedly different. Zachary, King Zachary, was a married man. The man who had comforted her in the hayloft that faraway night, the man who met her on the battlements professing his love… That man was gone.
"Karigan," Laren said from her side. Her expression was grave, as if she was privy to secret thoughts. They had stopped short of the doors only feet from their Weapon sentinels. The Captain's brow smoothed and she allowed another tense moment to pass before saying, gently, "This is the same man you've always served. Nothing has changed."
Karigan tried not to allow her shock at the Captain's words and lingering pain to pervade her own features, ducking her head to avert her eyes. Surely they betrayed the conflict that her heart had waged on her mind. Surely, such a devastating, festering wound in her soul could not be obscured by her face.
Laren patiently waited while Karigan composed herself, drawing on a blank veil of duty. She nodded stiffly and together, they walked in stride into the throne room.
The King, previously seated and in deep discussion, turned his head to acknowledge their entrance and subsequently rose. He looked well, Karigan thought, despite the tale she'd heard of poisoned arrows. The throne at his side was occupied by the ever-ethereal Queen Estora. She sat somewhat rigidly, a battle raging on her own expression. Her golden hair was tucked neatly beneath its circlet and her slender hands were clasped at her abdomen in some display of tender protectiveness. She grinned wide, cheeks flushed, but her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. Tears, Karigan thought, of happiness? Or of despair at her return? She performed a bow as seemed appropriate, shielding her thoughts from whatever news that Estora might have to share. This was ground she was sure to tread cautiously.
"Rider Sir G'ladheon," Zachary greeted her formally. The individuals who he had been previously locked in discussion with turned to look. Amongst them was Lhean, who offered up a shallow smile as their eyes met. She relaxed a little, thinking that at the very least in this court that had proven nothing was for certain, she had a friend that she could rely on. How strange that of all the people she had fought alongside in her years of service, that the one she felt she could invest the most trust in was an Eletian? She returned his smile before sweeping her eyes to the King.
"I have heard much of your journey to Blackveil through the accounts of Rider Lynx and our Eletian visitor," he began. What was that elusive lilt that she detected as the King formed the final portion of his sentence? Was it suspicion? Jealousy…? Surely not, she chastised herself. "If you wish to expound on their reports, you may do so in time, but we have a more pressing matter to discuss."
Even the Captain looked surprised, narrowing her eyes a degree. Zachary even paused to glance aside at Estora. She rested her fingertips on his knuckles.
"It seems that the Eletians view you as a sort of ambassador. They think that you are the key to forging a new alliance between our nations and wish for you to discuss the prospect of an army in which Sacoridian and Eletian soldiers fight beneath the same banner, for the same cause."
The entire room fell silent save for the murmuring of diplomats.
"Majesty," Karigan said with notably crisp pronunciation, "Do I have the experience required for such a task?"
"The decision is yours to make. I am willing to discuss such a matter with the Eletian prince, but seeing as I cannot make the journey myself, I would ask that you… take up the mission."
She prepared to protest, but before her mouth could open, he interjected, "I would not settle for anyone less capable."
"Who will be accompanying me?" she asked.
This question touched a nerve within the King, for his acknowledgement fell to Lhean and he answered, "The negotiations are conditional in that you are the only ambassador and that you alone are escorted by our Eletian guests. They do not trust anyone else with admission into their lands."
Karigan looked to Lhean once more, finding that he was instead intent on the King, though over his shoulder she caught a familiar, fleeting glance of yellowish eyes. Sherae nodded encouragingly, coaxingly.
"I accept," Karigan answered before her thoughts rallied enough unification to deny the mission. It would give her valuable time to recover from the betrayal she'd felt- and it was safe. Safe in foreign lands, out of sight of the resplendent King and Queen.
"Very well," King Zachary answered. There was a clear undercurrent of reluctance in his guise and tone, but it was soon forgotten as he dismissed Karigan and resumed the discussion he had been attending to before her entrance had waylaid it. She and Laren walked out of the council in a similar daze of confusion, though the Captain was much more adept at hiding it. She ran a finger down her scar, jutting her chin out in thought.
"I had not been aware of this, Karigan," she said. "If I had been, I would have advised you not to accept the task that has been set before you. You have shouldered enough of the burden already."
"You heard him say that the Eletians asked for me specifically," Karigan responded, attention drawn towards the doors as they swung wide to emit Lhean. He hazarded a quick look between her and the Captain and strode down the corridor with a backwards glance, as if beckoning her to follow.
"I imagine you want to speak with him," Laren said after he was well out of earshot. She was frowning, but there was mischief in it. "Report back to me after you've eaten your midday meal."
Karigan moved to leave, but the Captain grasped her arm. "I shouldn't need to remind you of the responsibility you have just assumed. Don't allow yourself to get distracted."
"I will not," Karigan promised, then turning to follow the Eletian that had already disappeared.
She took her time in pursuit of Lhean, finding that his path led her out of the castle and through the adjacent stables. Her fingers brushed a placard that bore Condor's name, but when she peered within the stall, her horse was missing. Her heart sank, then pulsed harder with panic. The hay that lined the floor was clean, his hanging pail of oats empty.
"They're in the pasture."
Karigan looked over her shoulder at the sandy-haired youth who had addressed her. "Who?"
"The Eletian has been tending to Condor as well as Finch. He let them out to pasture but a few moments ago. You just missed him."
"Thanks," she said, hastening her steps in the direction the stablehand had given her. It didn't take long to catch up with the Eletian, for he and the two horses were in a cluster, both of them nosing at his bulging pockets while he laughed. Lip and nip as they did, they couldn't manage to reach the treasure buried within, and Lhean didn't seem to mind the equine assault at his overcoat.
Condor noticed her approach before Lhean did, pricking his ears and raising his head. The treats in the Eletian's pockets were forgotten and he trotted to Karigan with a whinny, mane and tail flying. She jogged towards him and they met midway, Condor nudging her shoulder with his nose and lowering his head so that she could loop her arm around his neck. She grasped his bridle, pulling him in to an embrace. "I think I missed you the most," Karigan mumbled into his neck, her voice thick with emotion. He chuffed a hay-sweetened breath in her face, lipping the hem of her coat experimentally. "Sorry, I don't have anything for you," she laughed, scrubbing her good hand across her eyes.
She glanced up in time to catch an apple as Lhean tossed it to her.
"He missed you as well," Lhean said.
Karigan strained to hear him over the buffeting of the wind and Condor's loud chewing as he split the apple with his teeth. She was suddenly grateful in the understanding that she may not have been allowed time between errands to visit Condor that day had the Eletian not given her a reason to follow him.
"Your Captain said that Rider horses are not usually decommissioned before age or injury ends their service," he said as he approached. Finch followed patiently in his steps, still nosing at his pockets. "Yet she released Finch to me."
"To speed our journey to Eletia, perhaps," Karigan stated, still gazing at Condor, yet watching Lhean from the corner of one eye.
"I did not think that you would accept," he began, notable caution in his voice. "You certainly did not waste much time deliberating." He left the statement open-ended to leave room for any amendments or corrections that she may make, but she had nothing to add but to gaze serenely into the fields which wavered in the wind. The cornflower sky was streaked with wisps of cloud, the horizon rimmed in autumnal fire. Her eyes slid closed and she inhaled a cool breath, filling her lungs to capacity before rationing it out in several exhales. The simple action of slowing down for a moment tamed her tumultuous sea of thoughts- and though they were settled, it did not dull the ache of all she'd seen and heard over the course of the morning.
"Yates is dead," she murmured, turning her face towards the wind.
Lhean's hand settled, warm and supportive, on her shoulder. Condor nibbled at it curiously.
"He is dead," Lhean confirmed, "And we have suffered many wounds, but that must fuel the fire, Karigan. We must harness our pain and put it to use in vanquishing Mornhavon. There remain those that we must defend. All is not lost."
She wrinkled her brow and squeezed her eyes shut all the tighter. Yates' face flashed through her mind, twisted and reddened in rage. "I should have defended him, but instead I killed him. He wasn't supposed to be there. None of it was right, not from the start." The words flowed easily in the Eletian's balmy presence; her aching heart poured out through her words, punctuated in sobs. "He didn't deserve any of this."
Even as thoughts of Yates were forcibly suppressed, images of the King and the flushed Estora invaded her mind in their stead. "She's with child, isn't she?" Karigan asked, recalling how the Queen had cupped her hands on her midsection. Though she tried to keep her voice even, it cracked with effort.
Lhean did not answer for a long moment. Karigan finally opened her eyes and turned her body sideways to look at him, finding his gaze locked on her. From the expression on his face, she guessed that he knew exactly who she was referring to.
"Several months," he said as awkwardly as his removed grace would allow. "She is several months pregnant. I cannot imagine why no one informed you."
Karigan clenched her teeth, thinking, I can.
Lhean's fingers curled around her clavicle, softly, but with enough pressure to remind her of his touch. "What did you imagine was going to happen? Did you think that he would drop all semblance of tradition? You are a striking and strong individual, Karigan, but you know that your station would threaten the potency of his rule."
"My station," she repeated bitterly, "My station dictates that I risk my life time after time for Sacoridia, but I cannot claim the heart of the man I-"
She stopped short and half-pivoted to fully face him, her breath hitching in her throat. Lhean watched her with a slight crease between his eyebrows, angling his head back. He removed his hand from her shoulder, instead smoothing a lock of her hair away from her face as the wind teased it.
"Perhaps this journey will be cathartic for you," he said enigmatically. His eyes flicked to a point somewhere over her shoulder, in the distance, and he lowered his hand with a brief brush to her cheek. "We will speak more later."
He stepped away with a small bow, and Karigan caught a fleeting tinge of something on face as he led Finch away. She wondered about it for a time, absently stroking Condor's neck until the crunch of gravel alongside the paddock alerted her to another presence. The King himself stood on the other side of the fence, his weapon a mere shadow yards behind. Now that he stood closer, she saw the dark circles beneath his eyes and how his face was drawn. Despite this, he looked every inch the royal he was, garbed in finery with his hair neatly combed.
"You don't have to do this," he said. He watched the retreating Eletian as well, a frown deeply carved into his countenance. He settled his attention on her. "You only just returned from Blackveil, barely escaping with your life. When I proposed the mission, I did not truly think that you would accept. I asked this of you to appease the Eletians and those in the delegation that would wish an alliance between us."
His words struck Karigan silent and between them there was no sound. Only Condor's contented chewing occupied the air.
"Please don't go," he urged, "Or at least depart at a later date. I have only just welcomed you home."
"At a later date?" Karigan asked. Her voice was icy, just like the image his pleas conjured in her mind. "In the depths of winter? Is that what you want?"
He captured a breath, clearly startled by her belligerent tone. Before he could speak again, the bristling Rider cut away from him, leading Condor away from the fence. The King climbed over it in all of his finery, charging after her.
"Karigan! All I ask is that you consider the strain that undertaking this expedition will surely put on you."
She froze midstep, snapping over one shoulder, "I am not delicate, Your Majesty. You need not worry over me."
He clasped her by a wrist, then circled her to seize the other. "What has gotten into you? You are not yourself."
She struggled to control her emotions, not daring to break free of his hold. She had to remind herself that Zachary was still the King and she… she was but a Green Rider, bound to his service. The events of the morning were cumulating to the point that they exhausted her and she swept her cheek against her shoulder, the fabric of her greatcoat coming back wet. "Was part of it to appease your queen?" she asked breathlessly.
Realization dawned on his face, but then confusion surfaced. "You spurned me, Karigan," he offered by means of an explanation, "You spurned me, and I didn't think this would affect you."
"I said I would not be your mistress," Karigan nearly whispered. "But I never spurned you." Her face was burning and she could swear that it was bright red for how it felt.
"You know it could never be," he said slowly, then groaned, "Oh, Karigan." His voice nearly quivered. "I was not even conscious when we wed, nor was I when we consummated the marriage."
His words only made her core smolder all the more, "Then you had every right to nullify it."
"Do you know what you ask of me?" he managed, anger creeping into his tone.
Karigan lowered her head. She knew exactly what she asked of him, and she knew it was self-centered and dangerous, perhaps even daft- but she was also aware of what her heart had yearned for. "I would have moved the world for you," she said, all traces of indignation absent from her voice. In its stead lingered the ghost of sorrow and regret, and she slid her hands from his, "But this is where our paths split. Just as you cannot forego your duties, I cannot forget mine. I need to prepare."
Zachary's anger cooled, her words striking a chord- they reached the man, not the King, and he flinched as they did so. She climbed on Condor's back and rode to the stables, her cheeks stinging the entire duration.
She found Captain Mapstone on an empty stomach and began the stages of planning for her new undertaking, her mind far away.
