Remus was bothered out of his sleep by a small boy wriggling his way under the covers he had burritoed around himself.

"Remus?" James asked. "Are you awake?"

"No," he replied.

"I'm sorry Sirius went to far today."

"Then he should be the one apologizing," Remus said. Remus didn't even really want an apology because Sirius' behaviour wouldn't have bothered him on a day he had more energy.

"All the same..." James trailed off. "Did you mean what you said today? About me being your first friend?"

"I did not say that," Remus bristled. He didn't want James to look at him sadly again so he rolled over.

"I didn't have a lot of friends before Hogwarts either because I live far from town and don't have any siblings."

"Good for you."

James pulled Remus' shoulder to force him to roll back over. He cracked a smile, "I'm happy you're my friend too, Remus. Are you all right? You're sweating." James rubbed his hand on the comforter.

"It's warm in here with two people," Remus was so tired the responses just ejaculated out of him.

"I guess I'll leave then," James said and he scooted his way back out. "By the way, I saved you one sixth of the cake. It's by your lamp."

Remus guiltily pulled himself from bed, took cake from the plate (carefully as it was silver), and ate the chocolate through tears in a toilet stall.

Lily tried to get Cari to go to the library with her.

"C'mon, Cari,," she encouraged. "The library is such a happy place."

Cari grimaced, "Look, I love the idea of libraries. Books and magazines are the bread and butter of life. But I'm not comfortable in there. Maybe if the place was completely empty and I was by myself with the doors barred shut, maybe I'd enjoy it more."

This actually sounded like a scarier scenario to Lily. All alone in the library? She was fairly certain there were books in the Restricted Section which could seriously maim a person.

"They have the entire Teen Witch Weekly subscription dating back to 1762," she said in a sing song voice in an attempt to lure her friend.

"Knowing the fashion trends of the 20s won't ever help me. Besides, that's more Kat's area of expertise."

"What if you went back in time as a spy and had to blend in with your surroundings?"

"Time travel is illegal. Buuuuutttt...good point, let's go."

"Where do I find this?" Cari pointed at a title Professor Cross suggested for enhancement of reflective spells.

"Try the third stack on the left, lower shelves, because that's where the easier spellbooks are located."

Lily felt like a librarian and it was exciting.

It took Cari a while to get into a comfortable position for reading. Even then she adjusted her posture every few minutes. She even tapped her teeth together rhythmically; Lily was sure Cari wasn't aware of it. Some while later Cari snapped her book closed and asked Lily what time it was. Like she knew. But Lily got up and looked at the one grandfather clock beside Madame Pince's desk (time candles were too dangerous around so many books). Quarter past eight.

"Crap, I've got tutoring," Cari quickly stood and handed the book to Lily. Before she left she turned to Lily, "Y'know, the library's quite quiet...and I think I like it. Good job dragging me here, Lils."

"All in a day's work," Lily smiled and waved bye.

"And nothing to do with being lonely in here," Lily said quietly to herself, running her forefingers along the edge of the book in her hands.

She wished Sev didn't have a house meeting today.

"G-d blimey, I think Remus is dead," Sirius said. Classes started in five minutes and Remus still wasn't awake. He pulled back the curtain and gasped at how pale and swollen he looked. Dead people swelled up, didn't they? He panicked and shook Remus' shoulders like that bottle of pop.

Merlin, what if the last thing he did was tick off Remus? He hadn't meant to take things too far at James' party, but he got so caught up in the moment. Sirius would die if Remus died.

Eyebrows shot up beneath Remus' curly fringe, "What the fuck?"

Sirius was relieved, albeit still scared, "You need to go to hospital wing."

"'m fine," the boy mumbled and yanked the covers over his head.

"Lessons start in a few minutes."

The covers were thrown off instantly, "Why, in the name of all that is commendable and right with the world, didn't you say anything?"

Hey, thirty seconds ago Sirius thought Remus was next to death.

"You should have Pomfrey give you a potion or something, because tonight we're supposed to meet in the 'Hall of Reflection' and discuss what we're to do for April Fool's Day."

James made it quite clear to Sirius last night (after leaving Remus' bed and leaping onto his) that April Fool's was his second favourite holiday. Therefore, it had to be celebrated properly. The already planned finale was opening the letter McKinnon gave to James.

Remus slowed down in his eagerness to get dressed, "I-I-I'll I'll have to see how I'm feeling."

Of all the times for Remus to get ill. Or have his moon blood. Whatever with Peter.

Sirius kept a close eye on Remus that day. He even went so far as to sit next to him in Transfiguration, much to Lily Evans' displeasure.

"That's my spot."

"I don't see your name on the chair."

"You know what? You're so—hnnngh!"

She huffed and sat next to Brown, who kicked Peter next to James.

People like McKinnon were obviously confused when they saw the seating change upon entering the room.

Eddard Dobson walked in and put his hands in front of himself, "Something's different here."

Dang, if Sirius knew trading seats would cause such a disturbance in the classroom, he would have sat in another seat ages ago. Even McGonagall looked around like she expected something bad to happen now that the four boys were clustered together in groups of two.

It highly amused Sirius.

In Defence Remus fell asleep. He actually fell asleep at the table with his chin resting on his hand. Sirius knew he couldn't let Cross see Remus like this. He pushed Remus' arm out from under his chin. Unfortunately that wasn't the most tactful way to wake his friend up because the action didn't rouse him so much as his forehead hitting the desk did.

Sirius could hear Snivellus laughing and decided the git was now target No. 1 for April Fool's.

"That's it, you're going to Pomfrey," Sirius had to support a protesting Remus all the way to the hospital wing.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Remus mumbled into Sirius' hair when they reached the door.

Remus was burning up.

"Fix him at once!" Sirius demanded of Pomfrey.

The matron had the gall to ask Sirius to leave. When that didn't work, she threatened detention. When that didn't work, she told Sirius she wouldn't heal Remus until he scarpered.

Sirius gave in and left the bloody place. Guess they weren't prank planning tonight. Fortunately, he ran into Snivellus in the corridor. Why wait until April Fool's Day? Sirius cast a disarming spell and caught his wand.

"Where're your friends, Sniveley?" he taunted.

"Give me back my wand so I can curse your bollocks off," Snivellus spat.

"Why did you laugh at Remus today? He can't help he's ill," Sirius shouted and cast a Locomotor Wibbly spell which the snake ducked.

Then the despicable Slytherin did something Sirius did not expect: he charged Sirius at a run.

The wind was knocked from Sirius' lungs when he fell to the ground. Snivellus grabbed his fallen wand and held it to Sirius' throat, "Your indigent friend keeps spending time with Lily after I expressly forbade him too. He deserves whatever foul flu mother nature's tossed his way."

Sirius had a sudden suspicion that Remus' illness may not be natural. If Snivellus was mad at Remus, he could have cast a dark spell on him. The very idea made Sirius see red. He grunted and pushed the light weight Snivellus off his person. A burning curse was cast in Sirius' direction, but he deflected it. The spell was bounced onto a portrait where several Victorian witches screamed and tried to flee their frame.

"Serpensortia!" Sirius conjured his snake.

The serpent surprised Snivellus, but still got petrified. However, Snape didn't speak this spell before the snake bit his exposed ankle above his boot, but below his trousers.

"Impedimenta!"

Sirius deflected the spell again.

"Rictumsempra!" Sirius countered. Snivellus dodged by falling to the floor.

"Can't...breathe," Snivellus gasped.

Huh, the snake must have been poisonous.

Looking darkly at the boy across from him, Sirius said, "Good thing you're close to the hospital wing." He then turned on his heel and headed back to meet James in lessons.

"Sirius Black," McGonagall was waiting for Sirius when he got out of his last lesson.

"How long have you been out here?" Sirius wondered.

"We need to talk. In my office. Now," the terse manner in which his teacher spoke began to give Sirius a little cause for concern.

"Sit down," she instructed when they arrived.

Sirius refused on account of what happened last time a professor had told him to sit.

"I will not ask again, Mr. Black."

Sirius complied.

"Poppy Pomfrey has informed me you were duelling with Mr. Snape in the corridors?"

"Well—"

"And you let loose a venomous snake which bit him?"

"I—"

"Then proceeded to leave him on the floor when he indicated trouble breathing? Stop me if I've got this wrong."

"But—" Sirius did try to stop her; she wasn't giving him time.

"Did it occur to you, that Mr. Snape could have died?"

"I didn't think—"

"That," she proclaimed, "is obvious."

"He laughed at Remus for falling asleep in class! But he's sick, like really sick. I think Sniv—Snape cursed him!"

"Poppy's already spoken with me about Remus' condition as I'm his head of house. All Mr. Snape did was chuckle and you attempted murder. Do you think such a small infraction warrants death?" McGonagall asked him.

The first thought of Sirius' mind said yes. But that was the part of him which was thinking irrationally at the moment. McGonagall gave a long pause and in that time Sirius had to whole heartedly reflect on his decision.

"No," he said quietly.

"I'm assigning you two weeks worth of detention, every evening, for magic in the corridors, endangerment, and use of dark magic."

"That was not dark magic!" Sirius protested.

"Using serpensortia in itself is not. Making the snake venomous is a personal decision."

Sirius didn't know that and said as much.

"Then I suggest you thoroughly research spells before you use them...especially if they're ones you learn from family members. I've hardly ever been more disappointed in a student of my own house than I am now; much less one so young."

Joke's on you, Sirius thought, I disappoint everyone.

"You wouldn't be the first to say something along those lines," Sirius shrugged.

"Then use the power you have to change their opinions," McGonagall replied. "You're excellent at mastering spells, Sirius, but don't allow them to master you. Otherwise, whenever you're slightly hormonal or miffed at a classmate we have to worry about World War Three. If emotions were always rashly acted on by a school full of teenagers, Hogwarts would be in ruins."

Sirius nodded. His professor had managed to compliment him but make him feel guilty in one rant. He was impressed. Even though he was staring down the wand at two weeks detention, he felt like she cared. Maybe he could even trust her like he trusted James. Maybe he could tell her of the crime he committed over holiday.

"Professor?" he broached.

"Yes, Mr. Black?"

Sirius thought better of his actions and shook his head, "Never mind, may I go now?"

James was anxiously waiting for him outside the hospital wing. Peter had been assigned to check on Remus.

"I haven't puked all my stomach bile out this time, so that's a plus," Remus had told Peter.

It was nice that he didn't vomit before the moon this month, but he was running a fever and even with the heating charms on the house, he shivered.

Remus tried to think about good things. Madame Pomfrey told him to "think positive" before his transformation tonight. Well, Sirius had been so helpful it made Remus feel borderline guilty for not telling him why he was ill. Then Peter came and visited him in hospital wing, gave him a chocolate frog, and told him Severus Snape was right outside recovering from some sort of snake bite.

He began panting into the floor.

His feline companion had also visited early, but the heat from her fur made him sweat more. He wondered who she belonged to and if he or she would be all right with Remus showing affection for her.

"Hngh," he let out a high pitched wine

Throwing his mind further back, he thought about his birthday, and the thought James put into it. And then into bringing Remus a slice of his own birthday cake after Remus thought he'd ruined his celebration. He thought about Lily, who had personally served him a plate of food at lunch.

He had friends. He had good friends. He had the best luck of anyone in the world by being sorted into Gryffindor.

He screamed.

Remus was missing a pop quiz in Astronomy and it was the only thing Sirius could think about. It could only be divine humour which led the one person who was most invested in the class to be sick on the eve of a quiz, and the boy sitting there taking it for himself wished he could for Remus. Xing had a no retakes policy. Sirius scratched his line from one star to another so hard his quill broke through the page he was on.

A familiar sounding howl sung through the tower and James jumped next to Sirius.

"I'm glad we're not in the forbidden forest tonight," Sirius whispered.

"Why's that?" James said equally quiet.

Sirius needed only to tip his head up to show James what he was thinking. There was a full moon tonight; somewhere deep in the forest a werewolf was howling.

The howl echoed again and more students began talking as they finished their quizzes.

"Is that a ghost?" Cari asked McKinnon.

"Not like one I've ever heard," the response was shaken.

"It's some beastie in the forest," Carrow said.

"D'you suppose it can climb?"

"That's the scary part about something noncorporeal, innit?"

The next howl sounded like a cross between a bay and a scream.

"Think Hagrid's all right?" Sirius asked. Hagrid didn't have magic, and who knew if he could hold his own against a class five monster?

"Oh, he's definitely all right," Peter whispered behind him.

"What makes you say that?" Sirius wondered.

"L-Look up, tosser. I-If the b-buh big dipper is there," he pointed, "then the sound's coming from the opposite direction of the forbidden forest."

"You mean Hogsmeade?" Dobson asked beside Peter. It was the first time Sirius had ever heard him sound frightened.

"Quiet!" Xing called.

"What if someone's being murdered?" Avery asked too gleefully in Sirius' opinion.

"No, whatever it is...it's not human," Iravani replied.

"How do you—" Seemed like Evans had finally given up on silence and had something to contribute to the conversation.

Sirius' paper was summoned out of his hand. Several students exclaimed they weren't finished.

"We still have a lesson to get to," Xing tucked the quizzes away.

When the class was leaving, Sirius pulled James and Peter out of line and around a corner.

"Let's go to Hogsmeade," he told them. They had a way in through Zonko's. Sirius wanted to see if the monster actually was in the village.

"No way," Peter said, "I-It could be dangerous, and it's illegal, and Remus isn't here, and it's b-buh-bed time."

"So?" Sirius rolled his eyes. They had the cloak! "James, you're up for it, aren't you?"

James was shaking one of his legs, "I dunno, mate."

Sirius was so frustrated with how pansy-arsed his friends were acting. Beginning tomorrow...or tonight really...Sirius wouldn't have any free nights for two weeks.

He finally got James to give in when he said it was a high stakes test for the cloak.

"J-James doesn't even have it right now!" Peter said.

"Not true," James reached into his pocket and pulled out the garment.

"Oh Merlin," Peter mumbled.

Sirius smiled, "Here we go."

James tossed the cloak over them and the three boys disappeared.

"Wait," Peter hissed and grabbed Sirius' hand as it reached for the door at Zonko's.

"What now?" Sirius was getting annoyed.

"There are no alarms on the inside, b-buh-but what about the outside? U-Unlocking the door might not be enough."

"That's a good point, Pete," James said.

Sirius wasn't sure that Peter made a sound argument. Any alarm spells would be cast outside-in, not inside-out, because no one lived above Zonko's. He told James as much while he twisted the knob.

The door opened and the other two boys let out sighs of relief.

"Okay, but what does that do for us getting back to Hogwarts?" James asked.

Okay, Sirius hadn't thought that far ahead, but he pushed the two boys forward under the cloak anyways.

"Leave the door cracked," James said over his shoulder.

Hogsmeade was different from other villages Sirius had been to. One, it was a village—not some town or city. Two, the place was more ramshackle than even Knockturn Alley. Three, Sirius did not have a parent to lead him around. He had to remember his surroundings if he wanted to find his way back.

"I bought a map of Hogsmeade before I came to school," James said. "It's at home though."

What good was the map then?

"But the village is on a small grid system. There are six streets running vertically, and eight horizontal ones that have stores. Two more are just houses. The original village owner lives on some hill. Zonko's is somewhere on the third column...Oi, I care deeply about cartography and its uses to pinpoint joke shops." James defended at the awed look Peter gave and Sirius' incredulous one.

"Lead on then, Master James Cook," Sirius encouraged.

"I don't know where the other places are, but I bet the Three Broomsticks is open this late."

Sirius bumbled around with James while he pretended to know where he was going to find the pub. Eventually they did come across it. Good timing too, because they heard a another spine chilling cry.

"Go in!" Peter squeaked.

"Do you want to explain a door opening by itself?" James said, but then the howl sounded again. Sirius' hairs on the back of his neck rose and he pushed the door to the pub open.

James knew better to make any other noises, but he stomped on Sirius' foot. He didn't care, so long as he was out of the open.

The pub wasn't busy, there were only a dozen people at the tables. Two cloaked figures in a corner. Two at the bar. And one barmaid. In the corner, encased in a wooden frame, was what looked like a record player (as Peter described it). Music was coming quietly from the contraption.

"Makes you get the collywobbles, dunnit?" a paunchy man downed a shot glass.

Sirius listened while James led the way to the unoccupied corner of the premises.

"It sounds like a banshee," an equally drunk friend of paunchy's said.

Sirius, Peter, and James all slid to sit on the bar floor with the cloak securely held down by their shoe tips lest a breeze give them away.

"You ain't never heard a bloody banshee, otherwise ye'd be dead."

"They're only warnings of death."

"Deaf then," a third man shrugged.

"It's coming from the laird's old servant's quarters, I'd swear it," the barmaid, a young woman with blonde hair curled in tight coils wiped down the bar.

"Wasn't he murdered?"

"Fiendfyre's what did it," a man at the bar confirmed. "Didn't leave so much as a cobblestone of his house."

"Think he's come back?"

"Nah, it's corporeal; ye can hear furniture rattling in there if you get close enough."

The conversation was halted by a blinding white bird entering through an unopened window. Sirius thought the patronus may have been a phoenix.

"Hogwarts students are missing from the castle grounds. Please send them back to the premises at once if they are spotted."

Shit, Sirius thought as the bird flew out and up the next street.

"Oi, that's it then. Time to go," the barmaid said.

"Aw, c'mon, Rosemerta, ten more minutes," one of the cloaked figures said.

"Now," Rosemerta the barmaid swished her wand and the romantic music ceased playing.

When the students stood, their cloak hoods fell down. The girl was from Gryffindor, Sirius was sure he'd seen her at the table. The boy he didn't recognize.

"They're the couple who were snogging on the Astronomy Tower," James whispered.

The boy slipped some coins to Rosmerta and said, "Thanks for the nosh and privacy." Then the two left.

"Ah, youth," the man at the counter said.

"You couldna guess the hell their classmates put them through for bein' a pureblood and a muggleborn," Rosemerta shook her head.

"If they get eaten on the way back, they'll have nothin' to worry 'bout no more."

"I sleep upstairs every night. The shrieking started eight months or so ago. And I've yet to be eaten. While I disagree the monster's a ghost, I do believe something's haunting the shack. That means it probably won't leave."

That made Sirius feel better. It wouldn't come to Hogwarts then. What if it was a banshee though? The creature was so far away that people could hear it, but not go deaf. She was trying to warn against death. Or if there had already been a murder, a red cap could have taken up residence. They attacked when someone tried to invade their home. Maybe the light of the moon was confusing it.

Although Sirius sat stiffly and worried for over an hour, he began to doze around five in the morning. Then Peter began to snore and Sirius had to pinch his nose to keep them from being found. At six Rosmerta said last call and prepared to go upstairs.

Sirius shared a knowing glance with his friends, We need to leave.

They managed to slip out behind the last stumbling customer. A half-light had chased the darkness of night away, but still made it difficult to see the streets since the street lamps were all turned off now. The boys reached Zonko's with James' counting and Peter's sense of direction and Sirius' moral fibre to keep them walking when the howls and shrieking started and didn't cease until after the sun began to show over the buildings.

"Crap," James halted by the corner across the street from the building. Inside there were lights and employees getting ready for opening. "No way we can get to the basement."

"'Specially if they're taking i-inventory," Peter said.

Sirius had an idea, "Let's walk back to the castle," he said.

"And simply jaunt through the front door like we're just coming home from a gala at the McKinnon's?" James asked.

"We can go see Hagrid first."

The road to the school was actually shorter than the passage, taking less than half an hour. The only hiccup the boys experienced was passing through the front gate, although it eventually recognized them as students after they removed the cloak. The garment had to be quickly tossed back on once they passed through because the castle door was opening.

"Pomfrey! What's she doing out here?" James said.

"Who's keeping an eye on Remus?" Sirius said.

The boys forewent Hagrid's and slipped through the door when they saw Pomfrey was walking in the direction of the hill which led to his hut.

When Sirius returned to the tower during the early hours of the morning, his family owl stood chagrined on one of his bed posts.

He rubbed his eyes, but the cursed creature was still there.

"How'd he get in?" James asked.

"Who knows?" Sirius grabbed the letter in it's beak and flopped on his bed. He could read it later. James set an alarm to wake them up in a few hours to visit Remus.

"I let him in," Kingsley called from his bed. "He was actually swooping around the breakfast table yesterday as well, but you weren't there."

All Sirius heard was blah blah blah in his sleepless haze.

"Staying out all night is a new low for you," he chastised.

"Aww, Kings, were you actually worried about us?"

Kingsley snorted, "Hardly. But it was difficult telling Frank I didn't know where you were when he asked after you didn't return from Astronomy."

"But you didn't know where we were," James said, "So your own hide was safe. No one put you in charge of us."

"Bye," Kingsley shook his head and left for breakfast.

"Um, Sirius?" James asked.

"Unh," he grunted.

"That's my bed!"

"Unh."

"Fine! Budge up, at least."

Thursday during lunch hour Lily was approached by Avery.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Snape's askin' for you."

This confused Lily, since Severus wasn't at lunch.

"Where is he?"

"'Ospital wing. Black siced a viper on him."

"What?" Lily stood up, shocked.

Avery shrugged like there was no skin off his back, "He's been wanting you to visit."

How did Lily not know about this? He'd not been in Astronomy class, but it never crossed her mind Sev might be hurt.

She was all ready to set off into a sprint to the hospital wing but there was one problem.

"Er—she asked her friends, where is the hospital wing?"

"I'll show you," Cari volunteered.

"Just wait 'til I get my hands on those boys," Lily clenched her fists angrily. She and Cari were slowly approaching the infirmary at a jog. This way, if a teacher or prefect caught them, it could not be said Lily Evans was running in the corridor.

"You don't know the whole story," Cari said.

"I know Black and Potter have been out for Sev's blood since day one. On the Hogwarts Express they were cruel to him."

"Avery said nothing about Potter."

"He's always with Black."

"By extension you're accusing Lupin as well, and I thought you were mates."

"Remus left classes early."

"The same time Sirius did. Besides, Potter saved your life, or have you been so quick to forget? Snape probably provoked—"

Lily did not care who started what at this point. The fact remained Severus was in the Hospital Wing. When she arrived the matron was attending someone else behind a privacy curtain. Sev's curtains weren't drawn and his face lit up when their eyes met. She rushed over and noticed his ankle was wrapped in gauze.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Black's as mad as the rest of his family. The little shit accused me of cursing Lupin and then sent a snake to bite me." He told her how he was left in the corridor, incapable of breathing. How Madame Pomfrey found him just in time. How she'd used some spell to suck the poison out. How Lupin was still ill and got a privacy curtain while he had nearly died and got nothing.

She asked how he was currently feeling.

"Fit to be tied," he said crossly. "When I see Black—"

"Don't you worry about him," Lily said. "I've been working on a spell...one that will ensure success and not have you end up in here again." Lily planned on driving Sirius Black insane with nothing but a common noise.

She had forty minutes until her next lesson, "Want to play a game?" And take your mind off things?

Summoning Scrabble was one of the most difficult accio spells she ever cast since it was so far away. Nevertheless, the box reached Lily and she set the board up on Sev's food tray.

She added an 'ite' to Sev's 'favour'.

But then he played 'z' and 'd' to her 'e' and got triple word points.

"Big words don't always get the most points," he said. "Strategize and take advantage of the point boosters."

That advice was only halfway correct. Lily played 'queued' on a a triple word block, "Face!" she gestured wildly. Severus tilted his head to the side and smiled, "You're stellular."

Looking up when the door opened, Lily's smile faded at the sight of Potter and Black, with Peter trailing behind them. They walked by in seemingly slow motion. Black seemed to position his fringe to hide his face. He looked almost...guilt-ridden. Served him right.

There was an electricity in the air, with Sev tensing under her and her own heart pounding in want of revenge. It was almost a fluttering victory when Madame Pomfrey said they weren't allowed to see Remus right now.

"No!" Black cried, "He wouldn't even be here if I didn't bring him!"

"Ten minutes," she said tersely.

Remus' resting eyes opened when he heard the kerfuffle taking place behind his curtain. It was a different curtain than usual. So was his bed. The cot was much more lumpy and the sheets scratchy. Madame Pomfrey had placed him in a different location.

The cat on his shoulder looked up as well. The thin veil parted to reveal a smiling James, scowling Sirius, and watery-eyed Peter.

"Militant fascist," Sirius mumbled under his breath.

"Don't mind him," James said, "We didn't get any sleep last night. Looks like you didn't either."

His friend picked up Mrs. Kitty and lay down next to Remus, "How're you feeling?"

Remus let a little grunt out from his chest.

Sirius joined James and Peter lay across the end of the bed.

"Did or didn't Snivellus have anything to do with this?" Sirius asked.

Remus was confused. He'd heard a voice that sounded like Snape's yesterday, but didn't know what he had to do with anything.

Peter rolled his eyes, "Sirius think's Snape c-cursed you sick."

Remus shook his head. No, it was another monster who cursed him.

"Shit," Sirius slumped into Remus' shoulder. "I may have gone off on him. Now I have two weeks detention from McGonagall."

"You're lucky that's all she gave you," Peter said what Remus was thinking. Sirius fought Snape because of him? Remus wasn't worth fighting for.

Taking deep breaths to get through the pain of a shaking bed, Remus asked, "That why ya didn' sleep?"

Peter reached toward the curtain and looked round before pulling it closed. He nodded to Sirius.

"Last night in Astronomy we heard terrible noises coming from Hogsmeade."

Shit, they didn't go to Zonko's did they? Remus knew his safe house was close to the village.

"So after class we went to Hogsmeade," Sirius answered his question.

"G-d, you're stupid. You're supposed to run away from terrible noises," Remus groaned.

"Says the lad who went into the forbidden forest like he was entering Diagon Alley," James struggled to keep the cat in his lap. She didn't seem to enjoy his rough petting.

"Well, I have a theory a red cap has taken haunting the Shrieking Shack because years ago the lord of the land was killed bloody," Sirius said.

Remus laughed nervously, "Yeah, that's uh—a great theory, Sirius."

"Anyway, it was morning by the time we could escape, and our usual path was blocked, so to speak. So we walked back the boring and normal human way where a particular militant left the door open enough for us to slip in."

"Any idea when Pomfrey's letting you out?" James asked. "April Fool's is day after tomorrow and you can't miss it like you did Leap Year. We have big things planned, my friend, big things." The cat stopped wriggling under the ministrations of James' hands.

Remus was concerned Snape might hear them and run to a teacher if James opened his mouth in here. "I'll try to be released by lunchtime then," he said.

The curtain was drawn back and Peter jumped. Remus' sore body protested by twitching at the jarring.

"Time's up, boys," Madame Pomfrey kicked his friends out. While Remus would miss them, he was glad he could get some rest. It was difficult playing ill without letting on his ribs were mending.

"That wasn't nearly ten minutes," James listened to Sirius complain all the way to where they needed to turn off for History of Magic. Sirius kept going towards the staircases though.

"Uh, mate?" James asked.

"I'm skivving today," Sirius explained.

"I-I'm not-can't afford it," Peter said and walked off. James watched after his friend's retreating back before deciding to follow Sirius back to the Gryffindor tower. He wasn't nearly as rested as he needed to be either.

When he entered their bedroom, James thought, not again. Sirius was in James' bed again. But he wasn't sleeping, he was reading the letter the screech owl had delivered. There was something wrong; Sirius looked about to cry.

"What is it?" James asked and lay next to his friend.

Sirius didn't speak. He just handed James the letter.

Sirius (I'm not calling you SOB anymore because the bitch in this situation would actually be Mum. I did not realize that),

I loved your storie about valentines day. Mum didn't thou. Cousin Narcissa sayd Abraxas Malfoy mite sue Dumbledore because he doesn't believe it was because of a love potion your teacher kissed her. She knows better, but is saying nothing.

Anyway since Mum was furious she told Kreacher to clean your room even though you never let him go in there and throw away anything useless. Your chocolate frog cards are gone and so is your letters to Uncle Alphard. I'm sorry I didn't stop them but you can buy more chocolate frogs and write more letters.

Mum's taking me to Cousin Bella's wedding tomorrow. Dad says shes marrying a good man whos fighting for wizard kind. Kind of like an auror I think. I get to sit next to Bella at her wedding bancuet because I'm the youngest!

Stay out of trouble and hang out with the right people Mum says to write.

Esq. Regulus A. Black

"Are you mad about the chocolate frog cards? Because I've got two hundred at home. Some are even doubles," James tried to comfort Sirius.

"'M not mad," Sirius mumbled.

"Sad? Then?" James asked.

"It's not the bloody cards, or even Alphie's letters. Bella's marrying Lestrange, and I bet my mother's knickers he's a Knight of Walpurgis. And listen to the kind of things my Father's telling Reg. Basically that they're good and not evil. He's only ten for Merlin's sake!"

James tried to hug Sirius but was pushed back, "Get off me!"

"Sirius, I don't know what to do!" James cried. It broke something in James to see Sirius like this. There was some part of him that hadn't wanted to believe Mrs. Black would be cruel to Sirius, but the inky letters staining his clenched fingers told another story. "Tell me what to do," he whispered.

"Sleep," Sirius said. That was something James thought he could do.

Two days later Sirius wasn't better. He refused to get out of bed (his own, thankfully), eat, or even shower. Last time he'd done this Remus had snapped him out of it. But Remus was sick, Peter was scared of what Sirius would do, and Kingsley stayed five feet away from the stench coming from the unwashed sheets.

"Sirius, you can't be all depressed on April Fool's Day!" James tried convincing him. "What about your idea to prank Snape? Any ideas there? I thought maybe change his hair green like lake algae..."

Sirius snorted, "You have no imagination, James."

"Then get out of bed and tell me," James coaxed.

"But it's Sunday."

"Saturday, actually," James replied. But that was no excuse to stay in bed when you'd already missed two days of classes. "Sirius, please. Remember how excited you were a few days ago. We're supposed to checkout the secret place McKinnon told Marlene about."

"I'm rising," Sirius said. James watched him move slower than golden syrup. At least he was moving. Peter returned from breakfast with a hard boiled egg each for James and Sirius.

"I'll peel this for you while you're in the lavatory," James encouraged.

"Don't tell me what to do," Sirius said.

"I'm not. But Remus is getting out today and when he does...I'll set him on you."

James wasn't sure, but he thought Sirius walked a little faster to take a shower. Remus did indeed turn up a few hours later; close to lunch hour.

Sirius was leaning lazily against Peter's bedpost while James sat and wrote out the plan:

Target: Slytherins

Specific Target: Severus Snape

Possible Spell: Permanent Greasing Charm

"You know, like they use to keep doors from squeaking and all that?" Sirius moved his hand in circles.

"That's not on," Remus said. "Fooling only one person..."

"By extension, one group," Sirius clarified.

James would have been fine without the correction, he wanted Snape to go down.

"You need to pinch their pants," Peter said.

"Besides," Remus continued, "haven't you already ditched detention for maiming Snape?"

"I didn't maim him!"

"Lads!" James called order. They hadn't had nearly enough time to plan this since James had been so focused on birthdays and then Remus got sick.

Peter raised his hand like he was Kathryn Brown, ready to answer a Charms question.

"Pete," James nodded his head.

"I-I have an idea. Why d-duh-don't we do our own pranks today?"

"But we're stronger together," Remus argued.

"Please," James said, "I'd burn all of you." He began to laugh. Most of the pranks they did involved potions he brewed.

Sirius snorted, "Gee, I can feel the love of my wicked idea by all none of you."

"All right," Peter nodded, "Whichever one of us can prank the other three first wins."

James was down with that. He'd been flying his broom solo years before Hogwarts. Compared to him his friends were amateurs. Not that he didn't appreciate their effort, but he was the Maharaja of Mischief Making.

"Wins what?" Sirius asked, curiously. "Money?"

"Honour," Remus said.

"Bragging rights," James contributed.

"The honour of opening the secret p-place from McKinnon and b-buh-bragging about it," Peter said.

This was a pivotal moment in the history of the boys, because annual prank week entered its infant stages. Each man for himself.

"I can still charm Snivellus' hair, right?" Sirius asked.

"Course," James thought it was a good idea, especially if it cheered Sirius up.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Lily said to Remus.

He stood with her outside a door knocker shaped like an eagle. This was supposedly the entrance to the Ravenclaw tower. Like the Gryffindor tower, there was no door handle, but there was also no password. Esther had told Remus to be prepared to answer a riddle. After that, he and Lily could have an upperclassman read their mid-term papers for Charms. Both Remus and Lily felt good about the information they had, but wanted to check with the resident grammar machines for errors.

"You dream you are in a dark room, how do you get out?"

"Are you allowed to use magic?" Lily asked Remus.

"You wake up," Remus told the eagle.

"Quite practical," the door said before opening.

The idea was that anyone competent enough to rely on logic instead of their magical abilities and enter the Ravenclaw tower was deserving of having homework looked over (especially since there were Ravenclaws who enjoyed this).

The person waiting on the other side of the door was McKinnon's older brother, Remus didn't remember his name.

"I think you're two floors below your tower," he cocked his head to the side.

The person he was currently engaged in a game of chess with looked up as well, "Need help with essays?"

"Just revision," Lily said.

"I'm your man," he smiled. "Name's Smith. You're in the same house as my sister."

"What about our game?" McKinnon protested.

"It's wizard's chess; the board will play you!"

"Stone can only strategise so well before a human mind outwits it!"

"Aw, Mikey, you'd have me deprive these intelligent little first years of my wisdom?"

The rug under Smith's feet bunched up and tripped him when his toe caught on it.

Remus looked at McKinnon's grin and had to try hard to keep his laughter at bay. He did want a third opinion on his paper, after all (first of whom had been Sirius, and second being Lily).

"Oi, you're one of the kids involved in that prank war, aren't ya?" McKinnon asked.

Remus was affronted, "I'm the winner of that prank war, thank you very much."

He wanted to tell McKinnon he had been the one who had to figure out how to get into the Room of Requirement since McKinnon's note to James conveniently left out needing to pace in front of the door. The instructions only said to think about what sort of room they wanted. Sirius was ready to declare the present bogus when a door appeared behind Remus. Remus laughed, "I win this, too! Hey, Peter and James said bragging rights—I'm trying it out."

"Haha, oh man, when the Potter boy entered the Great Hall with long hair and a skirt, hahaha," McKinnon gripped his stomach from laughing so hard.

Remus looked over McKinnon's shoulders to where a staircase lay. He wondered if the boys and girls were off to the same directions as they were in Gryffindor.

"Because crossdressing is so hilarious," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Lils, crossdressing's too easy a thing," Remus wagged his eyebrows.

"Those were real?" Lily shrieked before realizing what she said and blushing.

It wasn't so bad. James and Sirius had both asked Remus if he was actually a girl. So all three became girls, because only Peter was silly enough to come up with an idea like that.

"Remind me to not get on either one of your bad sides," Smith said from where he was reading Lily's paper. "This is Ordinary Wizarding Level analysation."

Lily beamed at the compliment.

"Just don't tell anyone," Remus winked. He still needed his professors to think he was also a victim of the so called prank war. The only one who had been able to pull one over on Remus was Peter. It was quick, too. He'd given Remus chocolate pudding and Remus naively ate it. The leftover Kissing Concoction was put in there and Remus snogged his teacup. There was licking of the rim which he still shuddered to think about ("C'mon Remus, I-I was only teas-ing you.").

Sirius had, of course, tried (once he charmed Snape). So had James, but Remus deflected the boy's spell right back at him. And James also tried using a potion, but Remus expected that from him (though not Peter, which meant he should have expected Peter).

The entire thing had been good (somewhat) clean fun to Remus until Professor McGonagall marched Sirius to her office for skiving off detentions. Not only that, but he was also berated for class absences, which weren't excused except by letter from Madame Pomfrey or the Headmaster. In the end, to keep Sirius in a good mood, Remus had allowed a small prank to be pulled on him. But since he saw it coming, Remus didn't count the round.

After both Lily and Remus' essays were thoroughly critiqued ("The works display critical thinking on the subject, good work. You can still tell they're written by twelve year olds though. Try to vary your sentence lengths, and don't be afraid of the comma."), there was a loud knocking at the common room door.

"Reckon someone's drunk?" Smith asked.

"That was one time I couldn't get in!" McKinnon won his game of chess.

"Notice how Alice's brother didn't even accuse Michael of being drunk," Lily whispered in Remus ear, causing him to chuckle.

"It's not even five o'clock!" Smith opened the door and Marlene McKinnon entered.

"Michael, where have you been?-Oh, hi Lils,-You promised I could fly on your broom!"

"I've been busy. I'll have you know in less than two months I have to sit my OWLs—"

"Haha," Marlene pretended to laugh, "rubbish."

Michael shrugged, "Fair argument, Accio Broom!, lead on, Mar."

"We can walk out with you," Lily volunteered for Remus. Not that he was staying in the Ravenclaw tower longer than needed.

The McKinnons went their separate way from Lily and Remus.

"I told you your paper was good," Lily swung around a banister to the next flight of stairs.

"And I, you," Remus smiled. He trusted Lily's input, but she also trusted him and that made him feel warm.

"You know, it's nice to see you back to the old Remus," Lily said. "The criminal life doesn't suit you."

"What, being quiet and bookish does?" Remus asked.

"Being contemplative and studious," Lily offered. "There's nothing wrong with the other things, though."

Remus agreed. The quietness and books were things to hide behind, a way to keep his head down and absorb as much information as possible. But he was friends with James Potter, and expected to use the information he'd learned.

He ducked his head, "Thanks." Lily was so incredibly kind, like his mum had been. The two stopped by a big glass window that overlooked the Quidditch pitch.

"Hufflepuff and Slytherin have a game soon," Remus commented. James wouldn't cease talking about it. If Slytherin lost the game, they would come in second or third for the Quidditch cup. If they won, then he was going to leap off the Astronomy Tower or something equally dramatic. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw would be playing two weeks later for Ravenclaw's chance of winning or coming in second for the cup.

"Right now the field belongs to Marlene," Lily said watching her friend in awe. "It's probably for the best Ginny doesn't know Mar's got access to a broom."

"Oh, she'd have James' wick," Remus said. "I'm glad flying lessons are over."

He was. Remus was definitely a more...earthbound creature. Not that he'd sucked at flying, but he was constantly worried he'd lose control of the broom.

"Having a broom wouldn't be so bad, though," Lily said. Remus had forgotten for a moment she was muggleborn and didn't even have an unreliable TwigBrush in the kitchen like his family did.

"I have a game," Lily said, "Gun to your head, would you fly full speed through a goal post or dive into the Black Lake from the lake stand?"

What kind of question was that? Remus wouldn't like to do either and he told Lily this.

She stuck her thumb up and put two fingers in his hair, "But you have a gun to your head."

"I would disarm the person with the gun," Remus shrugged.

"What if you didn't have your wand?"

Remus never said he needed a wand. But for gas and giggles he told Lily he's prefer flying. What he didn't tell her was he'd never learned how to swim. The second option was much more terrifying than the idea of hitting a goal post.

"Where'd you even come up with that rot?" Remus asked. Apparently it was a game primary school kids played. The two continued their walk to the Gryffindor tower and Remus declared it was his turn, "Um—never read a book again or only read books out loud in a really dirty voice?"

Lily tripped on the stairs after that one.

"Oh, G-d, all right?" he helped her to her feet. She nodded that she was okay, but Remus could swear, with a gun to his head, he smelled blood.

That night Remus played the gun to your head game with Peter (James and Sirius substituted 'wand to your head', but still didn't get the premise—always weaselling out of their answer).

Remus lay awake in his bed 'til three in the morning.

Gun to your head, Lupin, do you allow a monster to bite you and infect you forever, or do you let the wielder pull the trigger?