Title: I'm Here In Your Heart
Theme: #9 Death
Rating: G
Warnings: Tear shed ahead...maybe.
Pairing(s): Velda & Pater
Summary: He was dead but not gone. He was evil and yet she mourned.
"Happy Birthday!"
Velda clutched at her heart. "Oh, my dear word! Look at all of you! Trying to give this old woman a heart attack! Shame on you, shame on all of you!" Yet she still laughed.
"Oh, don't talk such nonsense," Nicholas stood at the bottom of the stairs, dressed as handsome as always. His aura was warm, inviting, and he extended both his smile and his hand in her direction to lead her into the crowd of guests all arranged like sardines in the tiny living room her and Inez shared. "You're as young as you feel and twice as beautiful, my dear Velda."
"Oh! This one is a keeper, Destiny," Inez elbowed the blushing girl in the side, throwing her sister a warming smile. "Isn't that right, sister? Nicholas is one for the record books ladies! A real gentleman at long last!"
Nicholas laughed, and everyone joined in.
Father Mulligan, MaryAnn, Tim, and everyone all laughed and greeted Velda with heartfelt eyes and mirthful laughter, but each sound only seemed to sear a tender wound she held tight in her heart. Wrinkled, old, and aged, Velda was anything but in the denial. Beside her, she felt Nicholas stiffened and heard his laughter die away. Right on cue he exchanged a quick and worried filled look with Destiny.
Velda promptly pretended not tn notice.
Normally she would have chided Inez for being so open and bold, and even more so for teasing the gentle Destiny, but Velda held her tongue. A gentleman was well and nice, and Nicholas was the embodiment of a the perfect man, but he was not the man she wanted.
He nor anyone else was the man that was made for her.
"Thank you all," She laughed, and took her seat beneath a tower of balloons. "For remembering an old goat like me."
"Sister stop!" Inez swatted her arm before smiling sheepishly at her guests. "You must forgive her. Velda always was soil sport when it came to birthdays. Why, I remember when we were young..."
Velda let Inez take their guests on a long winded time traveling tale back to the days when the threat of the second world war hung over their heads as school children. The tale wasn't all that appealing since Velda had lived through it once before and had no mind in her to revisit that time. Inez was dear to her heart, but Velda was more of a present person lately. A pessimistic, as Inez would complain, but to Velda she was finally seeing herself as the realist that she had long since put off being.
The party merged into a blur of conversations, hands touching her, mouths moving, but Velda couldn't bring herself any more to the surface than she already was. She mumbled greetings, nodded to a conversation, but the heart in her words were gone. They had long since died the moment she realized everything she had held out for was gone.
Beside her, Destiny turned her head and laid her hand upon Velda's small knee. "Are you alright?" She whispered, trying not to draw too much attention to Velda's distance. Velda smiled, and basked in the warm touch. Only Destiny's face could lessen the pressure that built in her heart. "Velda? Are you well? Is the party becoming too much for you?"
"Just feelin' a little stuffy, my dear," Velda lied, but covered it with a small wave of her hand. She felt horrible for lying to Destiny. The girl had suffered through something terrible, but Velda didn't wish to add worry to that list. But Destiny was sharp and she caught on.
"Velda," Destiny sighed, and gently stroked her wrinkled hand. "I was hoping you had forgotten about him."
Velda wouldn't have been more surprised if Destiny had slapped her. She almost recoiled and felt anger lash at her face. How could Destiny every think that? The years of life had been hard enough growing up. But growing up and knowing that you weren't quite human, that you would know things that others couldn't? That was pure hell. Velda always knew there was someone looking for her, and often she felt a soft touch of his mind.
She had thought him beautiful. Many nights when the days were hard and she was aching from trying to understand the world, she imagined him a man with a sarcastic wit, a man with a warming laugh who loved the sky as much as she did.
Velda never married because of him. She knew he existed. She knew he was real.
And now he was gone...but he wasn't forgotten.
"Are the dead ever truly forgotten?" Velda countered the question softly, burying her anger away. Destiny only worried for Velda's sanity. "My dear, I will never forget him any more than you could forget Nicholas."
Destiny bowed her head, and Velda reached to lift her chin. "Oh my child, don't be ashamed for stating your mind to me. You care much about me to be saying such things. I know you meant no ill will, and believe me when I say this old woman appreciates it."
"You're amazing, Velda."
"No," Velda smiled. She was human. "You're the amazing one, Destiny. You're the angel that many of us needed to fight the evil."
Flustered and still unused to flattery, Destiny blushed and humbly excused herself to get some air. Velda watched her go with a small laugh. The room was buzzing with laughter and games. Inez flitted about the group talking, and laughing it up. Velda's heart went out to her sister for having stayed by her side so loyally through the years. Velda smiled, and wiped a wrinkled hand across her face to collect her tears.
If only she hadn't waited.
Instead of neighbors, Velda would have children. Lots of children with children and dear Inez would be playing the spoiler like she always was. Velda's heart clenched and she shut her eyes from the imaginary scene before she dared to reach out for a dream she had long since put off having.
The sounds of the room fell away as Velda reclined into her mind. She felt her sadness gathering, and her amounting anger. So many years she had wasted! So much time! And he had already given up on the world. He had walked away from her and left her to rot and die all alone.
Her mind brought his face into focus. The evil sneer, the darken haze of his skin, then just as easily it peeled back the layers of evil like an onion. Layer by layer he returned to the person he once was. She could see him standing in an open field, surrounded by flowers that she couldn't name. He'd peek out at her slowly, turning to face her with eyes so sharp that she could feel her breath hitch at the sight of them. They were the eyes of a predator, but even before she could run, she could imagine his voice calling her to softly, whispering her name.
"Velda."
She thought it a dream until he moved to her, gliding over the flowers to stand before her at his height. His eyes, so filled with regret, threatened to drown her. Then, with a trembling hand she reached to touch that hard-lined face only for it to soften under her finger tips. Here he was, so beautiful, so warm, and yet he was gone. She would never be able to be with him. Tears blotted her vision, and Velda muffled a small sniffle before anyone would notice her possibly dozing in her own chair.
"Velda, I'm so sorry."
The words touched her, and she stilled in surprise. Unselfconsciously, she licked her lips and stared at him. She had to be dreaming...and yet his voice sounded so real. Breath trembling she dared to touch his chest, feeling for the spot where she had attempted to kill him. "Pater..."
His hand covered her's and brought it to his lips. Those eyes of his swelled with tears as he kissed the back of her hand. "Do not cry for me. It's not worth it. You helped give me peace, and for that I will always treasure you."
He didn't even know her. It had to be a dream, but Velda's heart clenched and she sobbed, nearly doubling over from the pain of it.
"No," She whispered, feeling her hearts and dreams surfacing. "This isn't how it should have been. You were suppose to have found me!"
"I failed you," His eyes shut in pain, but he didn't let her go. "And I will carry that grief with me to the next world. I will always regret not being strong enough." He cupped her face and touched her skin. "I should have held hope. I should have known I had a beautiful lifemate for me."
"You're sixty years too late," Velda whispered.
"You'll always be beautiful." Pater looked at her and for once Velda believed those words. He spoke them from his heart and she felt it in her chest.
Trembling, Velda lunged at him. His arms caught her though she thought it was just a dream she felt him against her. She could hear his heart beat as if it were her own, and she clung to him, unwilling to be apart from him.
"I love you," He held her, saying all the words he should have had the chance to. Velda whimpered and lifted her chin, but never got far. Pater took one look at her and captured her lips. Even though she was old, and fragile, he held her tight and close as they let out their passion in a kiss that grew all too real to be a dream.
"It's really you," Velda sobbed as they parted for air. Her wrinkled hands dug into his arms.
He stroked her cheek with the back of her hand and gently worked to free himself from her grip. He didn't answer her, but he didn't have to. Velda took in the glow of his skin, and the feeling of his body next to her's and she knew it. A soft sadness clung to him, hidden under the wave of his love for her.
"You have to leave," Velda whispered, already know the words he was afraid to say. She knew it as she pulled away that her fingers couldn't leave him. She couldn't dare to be apart from him. Pain lanced through her, and she knew he felt it too. "Pater, don't..."
"Velda, you can't," He choked on his own words, as if they caught in his chest and he couldn't get them out. A warrior without dignity...and he was now a warrior without his love. "I'm dead, Velda. You can't go where I'm going. I am gone."
"But not forgotten," She wept as the tears fell from his own eyes. "You are never forgotten, Pater. I tried living my life, but I can't. Please, don't make me go on like that. I might be alive, but I'm dead inside."
He was torn, but he was firm. "You made a promise, Velda.. Do not forget that."
Then he pulled away.
The pain was instantaneous. She shivered as if she had been dropped into the coldest ocean of the sea and left to float without a guiding light. Pater looked at her once more, but then he jerked away turning and walking through the meadow. Velda stood there, stunned by his rejection, and while her mind understood, her heart rebelled and wailed for him to take her back. With each step he put between them, the more pain Velda was in.
"Velda," A hand touched Velda's shoulder and she turned, expecting to find herself waking up and bawling in front of a crowd of guests. But what she found something else entirely.
Nicholas stood before her, holding the hand of Destiny. Instantly, Velda covered her face and wiped her tears, shame setting in as she remembered the promise she had made. She had said to live for this brave, brave girl, and yet there Velda was, getting ready to go into the next world. She had promised to bear this pain, and bear it she would.
Destiny stopped her hands, and wiped the rest of the tears away herself. Destiny's eyes shined and her throat failed to work as she wiped every single tear from the woman's face. She loved this woman. She loved Velda and Inez's quirks, she loved watching them jab at each other, and watch the neighborhood like a pair of watchdogs. They were strong to Destiny, and everything she had sought to be. To see tears on Velda's face, it was enough to kill her inside and out.
"Velda..." Destiny stroked Velda's face, glancing back at Nicholas. Her eyes shined with love as she finally brought herself to understand Velda. All this time...she had finally found her other half, only for her to lose him. "You saved my life, and I will never forget that."
I love you. The words hung in the air between the two females, tears spilling from both their eyes. Nicholas was silent, but his own love filtered over all of them, saying the words Destiny struggled to form.
"I...If that....If...If I lost Nicholas like....like that, I would want to be with him no matter what. I love him, and I need him like I need air to breathe. I would resent any reason not to be with him. I would do whatever I could to be with him. To be without him would mean to be dead to me. Velda, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for being so selfish. I had no right making you promise to stay here when you obviously aren't meant to be."
"Destiny, you needed me."
Destiny shook her head. "I needed you, but I have Nicholas now."
"You don't need me?" Velda felt as if she had just punched her.
"No!" Destiny shook her head, looking frustrated. "Oh god no, Velda. I will always need you. I will always want to see you and hear you, but what I want more than anything is for you to be happy, Velda. And if that means...going on to a place where I can't see you, then so be it. I only want your happiness."
Velda's hands quaked but she hugged Destiny to her, cradling that golden aura like the star that it was. Destiny awkwardly hugged her back, but then that hug turned to a clinging as she held tightly to the friend she was slowly letting go. Slowly, she pulled away, wiping her eyes and reaching for Nicholas' hand.
"I love you, Velda," Destiny smiled, and Velda returned it.
"I'll always be watching over you," Velda smiled. "I'll keep my promise, Destiny. You might never see me, but I'll be there."
A hand took Velda's. Pater was there again, smiling like something she had never seen before. He held her wrinkly hands in his young fingers and stroked her knuckles with his finger tips. Nicholas and him exchanged a look before Pater bowed, long and low. Stiffly, Nicholas nodded and returned the gesture to his fellow warrior, honoring him as the man he once was.
"You will love and protect her," Nicholas didn't ask, he stated it. "You will be with her in your next life and not lose her. She is a precious gem to so many."
Pater met his eyes. "I understand the cost of this. She is truly a precious person to so many."
"Then feel honored that she is choosing to be with you," Destiny stood at her lifemate's side her eyes weary. "You better not fail, Pater."
And he wouldn't. He didn't even need to reply for Destiny could see the driving force in his mind.
"Are you ready, Velda?" Pater looked to her, his eyes warm and bright.
Velda smiled, and touched his cheek as if it were a dream. "Let us go on, love."
"To the next world," Pater vowed.
Velda kissed him. "To a place where not even death can separate us."
With a heart heavy, Destiny returned back to her body, and leaned heavily against Nicholas. Right before her, Velda's body laid limp and quiet as if she were sleeping. Inez and the rest of the house laughed and celebrated the birth of her life, while Nicholas and Destiny quietly celebrated the beginning of the love Velda had always sought.
Destiny stroked her cheek one last time.
"Gone," She whispered. "But never forgotten."
