AN: Hello! And I apologize for the cliffhanger, there really isn't much of one this time. I feel like this was a bit long to write, but like I said, the end is in sight. The next Chapter is gonna start getting intense. Anyway I hope you like this =) I love you all and thank you so much for the lovely reviews, I love reading them. 3
I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were. Be with me, stay with me, just for now. Let the time decide when I won't need you. My hand searches for your hand in a dark room. I can't find you. Help me, are you looking for me? Can I feel any more? Lie to me, I'm fading. I can't drop you. Tell me I don't need you. Etch this into my brain for me. Tell me how it's supposed to be. Where everything will go, and how I'll be without you by my side -Need
"DRACO!" Hermione yelled in disbelief as Mulciber sneered and tried to pull himself to his feet. There was no time for Hermione to kneel and grieve over the boy at her feet, she had to act or she would die with him. With anger filling her chest, Hermione realized her wand had been cast aside, so she grabbed Draco's quickly from his robes and pointed it directly at Mulciber has he stood. But this time she wasn't going to wait, she wanted vengeance, "Stupe…." She began to say but he cut her off much quicker than she thought possible.
"REDUCTO!" He bellowed as the sheer force of the curse slammed hard into her ribs, lifting her into the air and making her body collide with the wall. She let out a hiss of pain as she slid to the ground, her elbow now bleeding from the impact. Mulciber began to stagger towards her and she forced her aching body to her feet as she realized to her dismay, one of her ribs may indeed be broken. As the Death Eater raised his wand, Hermione stepped around Draco and closer, prepared to fight, "Crucio!" He snarled but this time Hermione was ready.
"Pretego!" She cried as her eyes widened and a shield went up to deflect the attack. She was so focused on fighting off this Death Eater she didn't notice the movement near her feet. Mulciber's sudden terrified gaze should've said it all. Strong hands grabbed Hermione's waist and she gasped as one hand forced her back behind the owner's tall frame and the other ripped the wand from her hands. It was then she realized, miraculously, that the spell that should've killed Draco Malfoy had failed, he had escaped death once more.
"But….I…I killed you!" Mulciber stuttered, wand still raised as he tried best to remain composed. Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she touched Draco's hand which still held her protectively behind him. She leaned in closer and caught his scent, the warmth emanating from his body, and she felt relief wash over her. He pointed his wand directly between Mulciber's awe-struck eyes.
"Should've tried harder mate," Draco said in a low voice, clearly infuriated, "Crucio!" He hissed angrily and Hermione gasped. Mulciber's screams filled the room as Draco moved his wand to torture the man. Hermione shuddered behind him.
"Draco….Draco stop…." Her words made his eyes close for a moment. Damn her for making even this complicated. He moved his wand and the curse let up, Mulciber dropped to the ground shaking as he looked up at Draco who walked closer to him, gazing down at him menacingly.
"Portus," Draco muttered as he pointed his wand at the wand he had broken and looked back at Mulciber, "Take your lot, grab the Portkey, and I never want to see any of your faces again or so Merlin help me I'll kill every one of you."
"The Dark Lord should've killed you when he had the chance…" Mulciber said angrily as he dragged Rookwood closer to the wand and magically bound all his fellow Death Eater's hands as he looked once more back at Draco and Hermione.
"He already has." Were the last words Draco said as the Death Eater's all disappeared from the room, and with it went the brave faces both Hermione and Draco were putting on. Draco fell into his bed, supporting himself on his hands before turning and sitting in order to face Hermione. His eyes met hers and hers once more were full of tears as she suddenly flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Just as her body collided with his she gasped.
"Ow….." She said softly and he pushed her back by the shoulders to look into her eyes, she bit her lips softly.
"Lay down, let me have a look at you ok?" He said with a cold tone as he moved, wincing slightly and let her lay down gingerly. His movements didn't go unnoticed however.
"That hurt you didn't it?" She asked softly and he glanced into her eyes, the look of pain there spoke for itself, "I thought it had really killed you…That I'd failed you…"
"You can't fail me. I'm fucked. It was me that was late. Any later and I would've been the one to find you dead. And I can honestly say I don't know what I'd have done if that happened," His voice was dark and she went to respond but his fingertips pressed against her rib and she let out a whine of pain, "Broken rib. And your elbow got a good hit too," He grabbed his wand and pointed the tip at her side, "Episkey." He said quickly and she gasped slightly and grabbed his free hand, he frowned slightly at this. He muttered another spell as he pointed at her elbow and it too began to heal.
"Thank you…" As she said this, he released her hand and moved away from her slightly, Hermione was confused, "Are you okay? What happened today? Is your mum alright?" She asked, concerned with what had happened, but he was silent, thinking back to everything, "Talk to me…you know I want to help you…" Hermione said softly as she got off his bed and moved back closer to him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. He didn't want to tell her about his failure, he didn't want this to be so hard, "Draco…" Her voice was soft as she spoke and she moved closer, stood on her toes, and very gently touched her lips to his. She waited a second but he didn't kiss her back, he didn't even move. Her eyes opened and saw his anger, his dark gaze and he moved back from her. He knew then he had made his decision. Hard as it would be it had to be done. But he had failed, he knew that, and there was no point anymore. And so he said what he meant, what he wanted and knew it would destroy her.
"Leave me the fuck alone." Five simple words but the edge behind him silenced her suddenly. She back up from him with disbelief as she looked into his eyes. She found no hidden emotion there, simply anger.
"What?" She asked softly, not understanding, not possibly being able to comprehend what was happening inside of his head. His glare was constant though and it made her eyes widen. He couldn't be doing this to her, not now, not after everything.
"You heard me." His voice was nearly inaudible it was so low, so angered. She bit her lips softly and looked into his eyes, trying to force so explanation from him with her gaze but it failed. He remained silent as ever. Instead of standing there arguing with him, or letting herself turn into a groveling girl in front of him she gave him one final look and turned away for the door. She even stepped through Rookwood's blood, making footprints on the dark wood as he watched her go, somewhat surprised she wasn't fighting back. As she reached the door she stopped for a moment before turning quickly back to him, her jaw set, face angry but perfectly composed.
"I thought you changed. I did. I thought that maybe you accepted that this, what we're doing, is more than just some silly snog fest. And hell I even thought you would let me in and help you. You Draco Malfoy, are the best liar I have ever met. And I'll leave you alone, but do me a favor and leave me alone too. Because I can't keep being the person you run to when there's no where else to go, not when you treat me like this. We aren't eleven anymore. You can't just do this to people and then hope it heals itself. I'm standing in front of you and you're pushing me away and for once, I won't push back. I hope this is what you wanted Malfoy." And with those words she turned swiftly around, not wanting to look at him anymore. He stood there blankly, wondering if he had made the right choice as the sound of claws could be heard inside of his closet. He opened the door and saw a pair of watery blue eyes look up at him as the little cat's mouth opened in a muted cry and Draco felt his own die in his throat at the decision he had just made.
********
From Christmas Day, their world had ultimately changed. Hermione had respected his wishes and he respected hers. The Malfoy Manor was big enough so avoiding each other was no huge problem, yet it seemed as if they couldn't spend a day without glimpsing each other. Hermione's face would redden with anger when she saw him and wait patiently for him to get out of her way for returning to her business. She was murderess, she'd had strangled him if she had the strength. She knew now that coming to the Manor for Christmas break had been a mistake, it had only lead to ruin. And whatever had happened that day he was gone was still a mystery to her. Whatever it was she believed was the reason behind his change in heart, and it infuriated her to no end.
If the days seemed long the nights seemed longer. Hermione had Felix but he was no comfort when it came time to sleep. Instead she went back to her old sleepless ways, any real sleep that came to her was usually accompanied by restless, terrible dreams that she could barely remember once she had woken up. So instead she had come up with a system. Instead of allowing Draco to see her researching a cure for his curse during the day, she would go in the middle of the night to avoid him thinking she really did care which she tried best to deny even to herself. At least that way she tired herself out enough to get a few hours of sleep in order to go through hell again the next day. As for what he was thinking, she gave up trying to understand or even trying to get him to articulate it. Silence had become her ally.
Yet despite being incredibly, undeniably angry, she missed him, more than she ever wanted to admit and that alone made her feel terrible. Every time her eyes would lock with his gray ones it felt as if her whole body was electrically charged. She missed sleeping by his side, his kisses, his crude remarks. Even his anger she missed, his passion, that crazed, devoted protection he so subtly swore to her and her alone. The times he let her in, what he had shown her. She hated this. And she couldn't help but be mad that he'd let her know what was happening to him because now she had to help, as hard as he was making it. By New Years Eve still nothing had changed. Hermione had given up ever sleeping again and still had found no answers to save Draco, only vague possibilities. She had spent the day away from everything, not even wanting to see him. She contemplated one major thing all day and as night fell she knew what she wanted to do, whether or not she actually got to sleep that night would determine if she would go through to it. Now it was up to fate.
12:08. She knew it indeed was fate telling her something now. Nights of unrest and misery had prompted her to make a ballsy decision she hoped like hell she wouldn't regret. With a deep breath she threw off the covers of her cold bed and silently opened the door to her room and slipped into the hall. She prayed he was in his room and also part of her hoped he was sleeping, if he was, she would turn around and forget it all. Yet as she reached his door, her heart pounding, she knew that he'd be sitting awake like she had been every night. She bit her lip as she turned the knob and stepped into the room, not even daring to glance over at him as she turned and silently closed the door behind her.
"What are you…" Draco began to say, his eyes somewhat wide in the darkness as she approached, his pale body reflecting the moonlight that streamed through the window. She heard his words but didn't mind them as she walked over to the bed, her eyes unreadable as they locked to his. No he hadn't been sleeping, he hadn't slept at all, the dark circles proved that. He wanted answers from her, but she wouldn't give them, not when he wouldn't give her any. And so without pause she crawled into his bed, silent and quick, and he was too taken aback to say anything. Her gesture alone could have shattered him into a thousand pieces. No more talking. No more arguing. She knew what they both needed. Her eyes met his again in the darkness as she moved closer and he didn't move away. Instead he accepted what he didn't want to indulge himself in, her, and his arms came out to bring her close, crushing her against him, filling the void he had made for himself. And Hermione welcomed it, pressing her body against him, sucking up all the warm and comfort she had so missed. And so in silence, he held her close, a broken man and she relaxed into him. For that night their world was back in balance, and Hermione found herself once more sleeping better than it felt she had in years.
********
Once more Draco Malfoy found himself walking the corridors of St. Mungo's, a place he never wanted to set foot in again. Surprisingly the place seemed empty almost, abandoned. No one was here. Just him and he soon realized he too wasn't alone, but his arm was linked with someone. It was Hermione. She looked at him with a small smirk and he felt his own face return it without even thinking. He didn't understand why they were here together….he didn't want her to see this, he didn't want her to know he had failed. Still they walked towards the hall that held his mother's room and he felt….afraid. He tried to stop his own feet but found it impossible, he was not in control of his body. Even his ability to speak freely was gone.
The closer they got to Narcissa's room the more his chest filled with dread, yet the same small smirk remained on his lips and that sickened him. Hermione moved to open the door and he swiftly stepped inside, seeing his mother lying there again filled his chest with pain. But as her eyes met his she let out a bloodcurdling screech. "YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT! NO!" She kept howling as Draco turned to Hermione and nodded at her to shut the door which she quickly did and leaned again it, simply watching with an interest that instantly upset him. This couldn't all be happening, it just couldn't. Narcissa screamed and thrashed against her restraints but they held firm. Draco wanted to help her, to question Hermione but he was still unable to make his body work the way he wanted. Yet finally he reached for his wand and he breathed a sigh of relief as he pointed it at his mother, ready to help her. Whatever had happened he seemed to have control of it now.
"Crucio!" He hissed with such anger and rage that he cried out inside his own head as he watched his mother twist and turn in agony, her eyes a lit and wide with pain. He watched her writhe and tried as hard as he could to stop himself, but then the realization hit him. He looked down at his outstretched hand and realized quickly that this wasn't his own hand…this wasn't even his wand. He gazed down and saw the Malfoy crest ring that only one person ever wore. He heard the laughter escape his lips and felt that he must have been in hell because this was a fate surely worse than death. He was Lucius and now he was reliving torturing his mother through the man he hated more than anything. NO! Draco screamed in his own head, determined to be heard, to be freed, but freedom did not come. Narcissa still screamed in agony on her bed, trapped, as Draco felt as if he was torturing her, killing her, in the body of his father. He saw Hermione watching with a small smile on her lips, it destroyed him. Narcissa let out one final cry as blood spurted from her pale lips and ran down her cheeks and suddenly she was still. Her eyes were blank, her breath disappeared. She was gone. It was then Draco lost all control he ever held, "Let that be a lesson to you Mudblood, defy me and you'll end up with the same fate…." Draco felt himself say in Lucius's voice and Hermione bowed to him.
"Yes Master…" She replied obediently as Lucius put away his wand and walked over to her, reaching out his hand to lift her chin. Draco couldn't take this, not anymore. She couldn't be his servant…not after everything. He looked into her eyes and saw emptiness, something that wasn't her, something gone, missing. He had done something terrible to her….his Hermione was gone….victim to this monster he was inside of.
"I can see what my wretched son saw in you…Do you regret not being able to save his life?" The hand holding Hermione's chin gripped her skin tightly as she looked Lucius square in the eyes, Draco in the eyes.
"No. He was meant to die. It was what the Dark Lord wished. I never cared about Draco. It was all for you master. I had to get close in order to free you from Azkaban." She said the words with a smile and Draco felt his whole being lit ablaze and explode with her words, with everything, this wasn't hell, this was worse. This was his future. And Lucius leaned in to touch his lips to Hermione's and with it Draco felt his stomach churn in disgust. Everything he had ever feared had come to pass in a manner of minutes right before his very eyes. His father's eyes. The eyes of the man who had ruined his life.
********
Draco shot up in bed, gasping desperately for air his lungs couldn't find. Hermione still lay in a deep sleep beside him and for that he was thankful. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. All he saw was his mother's shaking, dying image before him, feel his father's actions, and hear Hermione's words. That nightmare had been everything that terrified him and as far away as it seemed, it was so vivid, so real. Was that truly his fate? Could his future exist in such a hell? What if Voldemort had designed the curse to trap him within his father's body? All these thoughts, along with the detail of his nightmare were too much to bare. He jumped out of bed and ran for his bathroom as he mind replayed his father's kiss with Hermione and he felt his stomach heave as he became sick with the thought. He fell to the ground as his stomach rejected it's contents into the toilet before him and he fell back on his heels, shaking. This was too much, much too much. All the emotion and pain he couldn't express in the dream suddenly washed over him like water and he felt himself break into racking sobs before he could stop it. Months of torment came spilling out of him as he bawled, finally releasing everything he had tried to keep inside. And he let the sorrow drown him like the sea.
Hermione awoke suddenly and knew something was wrong. It was as if something had called her out of sleep and told her. She frowned slightly when she realized Draco wasn't next to her and immediately was worried that something had happened. She got up and realized it was extremely late, or very early, and looked around for signs of where he had gone. She sighed slightly when she found none, yet a faint sound caught her attention. It was the sound of someone crying. She moved towards the bathroom and went to open the door but hesitated, was this really a good idea? Just barging in on him? She took a deep breath and knew she didn't care what he thought, she wanted to help, despite what he had said before. And so she swiftly opened the door and saw Draco sitting on the floor, head in his hands as his body shook with sobs. Her eyes widened, unsure of how she should approach this but as she thought his head whipped up and his red, tear-filled eyes met hers. For a moment there was a look of fear and agony, but a second later they lit up in fury, impossible, dark fury as he looked at her, getting to his feet impossibly fast.
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" He bellowed and she instinctively stepped back, never had she seen him so enraged. She had gazed into his pure, undiluted weakness and that was too much for him to handle in this state. Her being there, her seeing, set him off. Especially after just witnessing what she had done in his dream. But Hermione didn't understand, he wouldn't give her the answers she needed.
"Merlin Draco are you alright?" She asked quickly, trying to get through but knowing she would fail again, he was beyond reasoning. She stepped further back out of the bathroom as he moved angrily towards her and she could legitimately say she was scared of him now.
"GET THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed at her, furious and unthinking as he did. Hermione felt like they were back on Christmas all over again, back to square one, and that was too much to go through again. Her eyes filled with tears and it seemed that maybe his gaze softened, but she didn't catch it. She refused to fight with him again. She'd sleep alone forever if it meant never enduring this again. And so once more silence was her savior as she turned away from him and ran from his room, once more respecting his wishes as she left him alone. And there he stood, every emotion swimming through his veins as he pointed his wand at the door, locked it, and fell onto his bed with mental exhaustion as he let his anguish consume him once more.
*********
Whatever Hermione had tried to salvage that night she had crawled back into Draco's bed had been destroyed. Something she was unaware of had now completely ruined their relationship, if it could even be called that, and she was at a loss. Instead she chose to accept what had happened and decided to realize that it was over as much as that realization hurt. She was prepared though, she hadn't gone into liking Draco Malfoy without knowing that the road ahead would be an inevitably rocky one. And over the next few days nothing had changed. They had once more gone back to ignoring each others existence and Hermione gave up looking for a cure, she had exhausted all the resources in the Malfoy Manor and she herself was exhausted. All she wanted was to return to school and straighten everything out. She was slightly surprised when Draco decided to address her one night in her room. He knocked and she bid him come in, his face was empty though, his eyes blank and al he muttered was: "We're taking the train back to school. Be ready at eight tomorrow morning." And then he disappeared from her again. She was at least thankful he wasn't screaming at her this time.
And so the next morning she packed all of her things and grabbed Felix to meet Draco in the foyer. She walked in and saw all his bags, including a black guitar case, that he minimized with his wand with his back to her. Seeing her gift upset her even more, damn him for liking it. She clutched Felix and followed Draco outside as they both Apparated to King's Cross and got aboard the Hogwarts Express to head back to Hogwarts. She didn't question why he had decided to take the train, but she welcomed it as a chance for them to be forced together. Part of her dreaded it but at the same time she hoped maybe they would get to talk. They took their seats in the front like they had at the beginning of the year and he sat with similar pissed off anger as he stared out the window, arms crossed.
"Could you at least look at me?" Hermione asked softly, staring over at him as Felix slept on her lap. After a moment Draco turned his head to meet her gaze, his face expressionless.
"Happy?" He said darkly and Hermione sighed.
"I didn't choose to take the train, you did…and I would appreciate if you were the slightest bit more personable. I haven't done anything for you to treat me like this. And if I have, please, enlighten me." Hermione said with a somewhat angry tone, already she knew this was a mistake. They hadn't been on the train for an hour and already it was turning into a fight.
"Oh no, the great know-it-all Granger can never do any wrong can she? Forgive me for trying to perform our Head Boy and Girl duties by coming on the train. As for how I'm treating you, build a bloody bridge and get over it." He said gruffly as he looked back out the window.
"You know what Malfoy? You should've let Ron rape me and those Death Eaters kill me, would've made your life a whole lot easier wouldn't it? And I should've left you at the bottom of the Lake to rot." Hermione said with tears beginning to form behind her eyes but she was too strong to let them show. He glanced back at her slightly as she said this.
"You really believe that Granger?" He asked somewhat curiously, the anger somewhat gone. He looked back at her and their eyes met.
"I suppose part of me might…." She said softly, her gaze softening. His barely changed.
"Well you were right about one thing," He said softly as he broke their connection and turned back to look outside, "You should've let me rot." And with that they both went silent and remained that way for the rest of the journey back to Hogwarts.
********
"Knight to E7."
"Bloody Hell Ron! Could you at least try and let me win?"
"Sorry mate, but I'm going to beat you at Wizard's Chess for the rest of our lives, I'd get used to it if I were you." Ron Weasley said with a grin as both he and Harry Potter gazed down at the chessboard between them as they sat in the Gryffindor Common Room next to the fire. They had just arrived back from the Burrow and Ginny had gone off to see some of her friends. Neither one of them had noticed when the form of Hermione Granger had stepped into the Common Room and took to looking at both of them, tears in her brown eyes.
"If I were to say Hermione's standing behind you would you believe me?" Harry asked with a grin as he looked up and saw her standing there, a smile now forming on her lips that was impossible for her to try and hide. Ron glanced up at Harry.
"That depends, is she holding something to thwack me with? That would make more sense. " He said with a shrug as he began to pick up the broken chess pieces and fix them as Harry stood up.
"It's your lucky day Ronald," Hermione said as she blinked back tears and Ron turned, his mouth agape as he saw her, "I got your letters. And I miss you too." Before she could say anything else Harry had moved over to her and trapped her in a bear hug which she returned. She realized then what she had been missing….her best friends. The anger she had felt evaporated as she hugged the boy whom she had walked through hell with. As they released each other, Ron stood up awkwardly and walked over, his cheeks red as he glanced at her.
"Can you forgive me for being the world's biggest git?" Ron asked softly and Hermione wiped at her eyes as she stepped closer to him.
"What would the world be if we weren't at each other's throats constantly?" Hermione asked with a smile as she held open her arms and he grinned as they too hugged and he easily lifted her off her feet and they laughed.
"Pretty bloody boring Id say, except I'd be able to have some peace." Harry said with a smile as he crossed his arms and the three friends all faced each other, Hermione knowing what she had to address.
"Listen boys…I know you both must think I've lost it, and I can't say I blame you…but there's so much I need to tell you." Hermione said as she took a deep breath and looked at both of them.
"Like why I found you curled up on the ground with Malfoy?" Harry asked as Ron frowned slightly.
"Or why in Merlin's name you went to his house for Christmas? We thought you'd really gone mental….or been Imperio-ed or something…" Ron mumbled as he looked away from her and Harry sighed.
"Hermione…you know that we're your friends no matter what, but we need answers. We don't want to fight anymore either. But if you caught me snogging Pansy Parkinson or something you'd be right confused too." Harry responded and Hermione nodded slightly as she moved back over to her once favorite chair by the fire and motioned them to sit down.
"You might want to sit down for this…it's quite a story…" And with those words the two boys sat down and Hermione began to relay every detail from the last few months, sparing a few more intimate parts to protect her dignity and Ron's sanity. By the end Ron looked somewhat taken aback and Harry simply leaned back, gazing into the fire in thought, "I'm in a bit of a situation."
"Merlin! Death Eaters? Shouldn't the Aurors have taken care of them?" Ron asked in disbelief and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"For pity's sake Ron…is that all you care about? There's something very dark at work here and as much as you don't like it, we need to help Malfoy." With these words Ron laugh out a sarcastic laugh.
"'We' don't have to do anything. You can fight for that worthless cause as much as you want. I don't give a flying fuck if he's changed. Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater. He can go off and die on his own time, not mine."
"Just because you have feeling for me doesn't mean you have to turn into some sort of emotionless ass!" Hermione retorted and Ron stood up, somewhat angered as he looked down at Harry and then back to Hermione.
"I'm all for being friends again but this I can't do. I'll see you around." He replied gruffly as he quickly exited the Common Room and Hermione swore under her breath as Harry leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
"You can't expect him to just come around you know, he's too thick and too in love with you to ever do that."
"Don't even tell me that Harry! I don't think I can deal with that too right now…" Hermione said, upset, as she leaned back in her chair.
"You really like him don't you? Despite everything…" Harry said softly as he looked over at Hermione who slowly opened her eyes to meet his gaze.
"Yes, I do. It's really complicated, and weird I know…but I have to help him. He doesn't want it, he'd rather try and destroy himself. But as twisted as our relationship, or whatever we have is, he makes me happy," As the words left her lips she let out a small, sad laugh, "I never thought I'd say that. But I am. We've hit a rough patch but I've gotten through to him. There's a man in that shell somewhere, I swear it Harry."
"As absolutely mental as this all sounds…And it sounds quite mental, I want to help too," Harry replied after seeing the truth in her eyes and she smiled brightly at him, "But let's get a few things straight, I don't like Malfoy. I feel sorry for him and I have for awhile, big of a git he is…And I can tell he means something to you, somehow. But he hurts you in any way or does something I don't agree with, I'll make sure he doesn't get up from my curse next time, ok?"
"You really are a good man Harry."
"I owe you that at least Hermione."
*********
For the next few days Hermione went searching for more answers within the school's resources for a cure to Draco's curse and the grumbling Harry helped her. Her and Draco still avoided each other whenever possible and that ensured her more and more sleepless nights. Yet still she wanted to help him, as rocky as things had become. Draco on the other hand, felt terrible. Not only could he not get the dream and the idea of his mother lying in the hospital bed out of his mind, but also being away from Hermione left him more empty then he'd like to admit. He missed her always being there. And he missed sleeping by her side. Maybe the decision he had made was a poor one because it only made him want to fix everything, not forget it. He knew now it was much too far gone to continue as he was. And so he decided one last thing and hoped she would accept it.
11:55. It was now or never. Draco slowly climbed the staircase leading to Hermione's room and tried very carefully not to make a sound. As he opened the door he saw her laying on her side, facing the window. He was grateful for this, he didn't want her to see him too soon. Silently he made his way across the room and slipped quickly into bed beside her. Hermione let out a small groan, somewhat asleep, and Draco moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him. Hers eyes widened suddenly in the realization of what he was doing and she turned around to face him, her eyes angered and sleepy as she tried to push him away.
"You must be kidding me…." Hermione grumbled as she closed her eyes, defeated, and simply lay there as he kept his arm firmly around her, bringing up the other to stroke her face, "Don't you think you've hurt me enough Malfoy?"
"Look at me Hermione," He spoke her name, and it wasn't asking, it was commanding. And she obeyed, gazing into the dark depths of his steely grays, "I fucked up again."
"What this time? Try decapitating yourself and failed? Save it…" She said softly as she looked away from him but his hand moved her face back to look at him. She wanted nothing more than for him to go away, she didn't want the emotional strain that always followed with them, she couldn't handle it.
"No….Merlin Granger….I fucked up with you. I don't want to like you. I never wanted to like anybody in this situation but I can't help it. I could force myself to hate you, force myself to be furious but you're still all I bloody think about. And it's driving me mental," He said quickly as he looked at her, tears forming in her eyes as he ran his thumb under her eye to collect the moisture there, "I'm going to die. Visiting my mother proved that. Some part of her knew enough, crazy as she may be, to call for me and tell me that she knew my father knew the cure. And she I went to him, in Azkaban, and he wouldn't tell me. I almost killed him…so they banned me. I knew then I had to try and break away from you. Maybe, maybe if I was a big enough of an ass you'd go away and I'd be freed from thinking about you but I failed, miserably. And for some reason you still stuck around. I thought ending all this would make it easier on us but I was wrong. I fucked up." He ended his speech and now she understood the truth. She bit her lip softly as she looked at him, thankful to know what she had been so in the dark about before. She reached over to trace a heart with her fingertip on his chest.
"Pushing me away would've done no good. I still looked for a cure. Nothing you could say could stop me from trying to save you, as impossible as you believe it is. I told you I was going to save you, and I meant it, no matter what. Just don't put me through that again. Because I believed it all." She said softly and he frowned as he leaned in to touch his lips to her forehead.
"I may be a good liar, but I'm damn selfish. I want you Hermione and I think I get that now," He said as he looked into her eyes, a small smirk coming to his lips, "And I've come up with an idea. We have something here right? However mental it is…and I figure we're screwed anyway, so why not make it official? So what do you say Granger, want to be my girl? We'd give the school something to talk about," He looked into her eyes and she looked at him and she was silent for a few moments, "Is that a yes? I can get if you'd rather kick my ass or something first…I deserve…"
"Kiss me…" Hermione whispered, cutting him off as their eyes remained connected, locked. He looked somewhat surprised by what she said, but he knew her answer. He moved to lean over her somewhat as he leaned down to lightly touch his lips to hers and kiss her softly, binding his question as they sunk into her bed entwined, awaiting much needed sleep.
**********
"Sure you're ready for this?" Draco asked Hermione as they stood outside the doors of the Great Hall in the morning, hands interlocked. She looked at him and saw nervousness in his eyes and she gave him a look.
"I should be asking you that. Is the King of the Slytherins ready to shatter his image by walking into the Great Hall with a Mudblood Gryffindor?" As she asked this he frowned.
"Don't call yourself that….and yeah, I'm ready. You know I could give a shit about all that anymore." His grip on her hand tightened as he pulled her towards the doorway where most of the school sat eating breakfast.
"You used to call me that." She said softly as they slowly entered the room, a few eyes beginning to glance in their direction before more and more began to stare and whisper. 'Is that Hermione Granger holding hands with Draco Malfoy?' 'Never could have predicted that…' 'Think she's cursed?' 'I thought Granger had a thing for Weasley.' A thousand comments flew and Hermione turned beat red as Draco glared everyone he could down angrily.
"Yeah well I'm an arrogant, thick, bastard but I thought you'd figured that one out by now," He said quietly to her with a smirk and she smiled back. Her eyes suddenly met McGonagall's who looked less then happy at what she saw and Hermione's smile faded, "I'll meet you after breakfast. Might want to put a bib on Weasley, he's drooling all over his eggs." Draco said quickly as he leaned down to peck her lightly on the lips as they parted, hands lingering for a moment before they took seats at their separate tables, their relationship resurrected now as boyfriend and girlfriend. Their reputation in the school however, fading faster and faster with each glare obtained from Slytherin and Gryffindor sides. Especially from the Headmistress and the red haired boy who had disappeared the room as Hermione sat down across from Harry.
