Rating for this chapter: PG
Part 9 – Any Day Now
How long, how long, how long will we take to come undone?
If you know the answer tell me now and I'll write up a calendar for our count down.
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got? . . .
'Cos finger by finger we're losing grasp and
I'm questioning the reason why nothing beautiful does last...
(Any Day Now – Missy Higgins)
Alex trudged out of her room, eyes still heavy with sleep. She made her way to the kitchen and sat down heavily at the kitchen table. Mae was busy at the stove, her thick waist and backside shaking up and down as she sautéed whatever it was she had in the pan. She turned around when she heard the chair scrape across the floor behind her and smiled broadly at Alex.
'Good morning my dear,' she said kindly in that accent Alex loved so much, her hazel eyes twinkling as they always did at the sight of the blonde. Mae was like a grandmother to Alex, always around to listen to any story Alex had to tell. She bandaged Alex's bloody knees and elbows as a child, sang her lullabies and played beautiful church hymns and 1930's and 40's songs on the deep mahogany Steinway piano in the living room. Her favorite was Moonlight Serenade, and Alex thought of her every time she heard it later in her life.
And Mae wasn't judgmental; she always seemed to instinctively know what Alex was thinking about, what she was up to. She couldn't get away with anything when Mae was around. But Mae was also her protector, when Alex's mother was cold, harsh, unyielding and unpredictably borderline psychotic; Mae was kind and loving, giving her comfort when she needed it most. She was from the south, North Carolina to be exact, and Alex could never quite get used to the way she spoke. Mae good-naturedly smiled and humored Alex when she asked to hear, for the millionth time, the saying that really exploited that eastern North Carolinian accent. 'Say it Mae, please?'
'You're making fun of me, Alexandra.'
Alex made a face that resembled a puppy dog begging for attention and love. And Mae relented, as she always did.
'Alright, alright,' she cleared her throat. 'There's a maouse in the haouse, get it aout!'
Alex would giggle and smile at Mae. She loved it, mainly because it made Mae unique, especially among people in the North where everyone's accents were rushed and harsh. Such a contrast to the strange drawl that came from Mae's vocal chords.
She thought fondly of those memories as she sat and watched her make breakfast, of Mae going along with her games and antics as a child. And as Mae turned towards her again and placed an egg-white omelet with tomatoes, onions, spinach, and cheese in front of her, Alex smiled warmly at her.
Digging into the eggs hungrily, Alex let out sounds of delight and satisfaction at the wonderful taste. Everything Mae cooked was delicious.
'Mmmmm. Thank you, this is delicious.' And Mae smiled in appreciation, wrapping her wrinkly hands around a mug of coffee. She sat down across from Alex and bit into a piece of toast.
A door thudded softly against the stopper down the hall and Alex's eyes quickly darted towards the entrance to the kitchen. Virginia walked in, dressed in a silk robe with her hair in rollers. She had her makeup on and looked as beautiful and intimidating as ever.
'Morning, Alexandra. Morning, Mae.'
As Virginia poured herself a cup of coffee and had her back to the table, Mae caught Alex's eye and made a mock-terrified face.
Alex almost spit eggs all over the table, but managed to catch herself and pretend like she was coughing. Virginia turned around, concern written on her face. 'Alexandra, dear, are you alright?' Alex nodded. 'Try to chew your food a bit more, dear.'
Alex rolled her eyes and pulled a face at Mae when her mother turned back around.
'So, Alexandra,' Virginia said as she walked to the table, chewing on a corner of a piece of toast. 'What are your plans for the day?'
Alex felt a small amount of panic flush up into her face. It burned red and she didn't know what to say. She had plans with Olivia, but she didn't want to talk to her mother about Olivia. Even mentioning the brunette was rocky terrain, and she had lately taken to lying to her mother. It was easier for her to make up stories about where she spent her time after school and on the weekends than to try and convince her mother that nothing was going on between them.
She was becoming a better liar, improving her tactics and ability to make up stories on the spot. But her weakness what the flush that crept up her neck and into her pale face.
And that flush was happening now as she thought quickly of something to say. She decided to stay close to the truth, to skirt around it a bit. Because the best lies have something of the truth in them.
'After school, I'm going to the volleyball game.'
Virginia was silent for a while as she studied Alex's face. When she spoke she gave Alex a sweet smile. 'That's sounds fun. Who are you going with?'
And this was code for 'Are you going with Olivia?'. And Alex knew what the proper response would have to be.
'The whole basketball team is sitting together. We made posters and we're going to cheer for the girls.'
Maybe if she thought it was a sort-of-mandatory team get together, she wouldn't be upset. And it seemed to work. Virginia accepted it and moved on, speaking to Mae about dinner for that night.
It was time for Alex to finish getting ready for school, so she rinsed her plate off, put it in the dishwasher and made her way silently out of the kitchen and towards her room.
'Oh and Alexandra?' Alex stopped and turned, dreading whatever it was her mother was going to say.
'You've been busy on your college applications, haven't you?'
Alex nodded her head slowly, glad this was a topic she didn't have to lie about. 'Yes, actually,' she said, taking a step back into the kitchen and leaning up against the wall. 'I've been thinking about Queens College, so I sent an application there, and I'm thinking about playing ball there as well. That is, if this season goes well and the coach is interested. It's division II and I think that my level of play is right up there with them.'
Virginia smiled, seemingly pondering the prestige of the school, and upon finding it somewhat satisfactory in her mind, she nodded her head.
'Well, you could do worse I suppose. It's no Harvard though, Alexandra. I would like for you to attend a top tier school, but it is your choice, especially if you get a scholarship.'
Alex knew she couldn't get much better than that with her mother. Surprised that her mother mentioned anything about a choice, she shrugged her shoulders and went to her room.
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Olivia, oblivious to any conversation about colleges between Alex and her mother, was getting ready for school, once again trying to tiptoe around the apartment so as not to disturb her snoozing mother. Serena still hadn't been able to find a job, after the fiasco with NYU. Her infraction had gone on her records, had stayed with her references, and it seemed that no one wanted to hire a drunk former professor. They were living off Serena's savings, which was dwindling by now, and Olivia managed to take care of herself by babysitting kids in the neighboring apartments. Serena didn't need much food, but an active eighteen-year-old certainly did. So she fed herself with the money she made, not wanting to take anything from her mother, who eyed her with more and more disdain as the years went on, as if she were some sort of parasite.
Alex and Olivia had made plans to grab some ice cream and walk in the park after school. After that, they would head back to school and catch the girls' volleyball game. It was nice to support the other team, and have them come to your games when their season was over and you needed some handmade signs and cheers from the stands.
So she headed off to school and went through the day, meeting up with Alex every now and then in between classes. Their relationship was still good, at least from Olivia's point of view. She still got chill bumps when Alex ran her fingers softly across her palm, when she would look up from hooded lashes, locking her blue eyes with Olivia's brown. When Alex bumped in to her 'accidentally' or whispered something in her ear, Olivia still shivered with pleasure at the feelings Alex could give her.
When the school day ended, they left school, stopped by a store to pick up some ice cream, and walked together the four or five blocks south to Peter Detmold Park. It wasn't a famous park, or a particularly beautifully striking one. But it was close to Cathedral and it felt like a secret garden to the young lovers.
The entrance to the park on 51st street was a bit dark and foreboding, but the brownstone staircase led to trees and shade and a place that reminded you that things could grow and thrive, even in the harsh brick, stone and steel of the city.
Detmold Park was quiet, pleasant. There wasn't much grass, but the ivy growing on the trees and walls of the stairway leading to the actual park gave it a striking similarity to something out of a novel. Perhaps the Wood Between the Worlds where you could almost hear the plants growing.
The made their way to the pedestrian overpass. It was well maintained and stairs next to it led down to a riverside walkway and they held hands as they walked and looked out over the East River. Alex pulled Olivia into her arms and brought their mouths together in a kiss that was full of expressions of their love for one another.
.. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .
Time flew by, as it always did when they were alone together, so they made their way back to the school, ready for the volleyball game.
They showed their athletic passes to the ticket taker at the door and pushed through the doors of the gymnasium. It looked like it always did, except for the volleyball net set up on the court, but the fans were the same, packing the stands with pom poms and noise makers. There was plenty of support for athletics at Cathedral, especially for the recently successful women's teams.
The basketball team was sitting on the home side way down on the other side of the court. So Alex and Olivia picked their way across people to sit near them. They were separate though, probably two rows back from the rest of the team, wanting to stay a bit away from the group.
The game started and they cheered along with everyone else for their team, proud of the progress the volleyball team had made from years past. They were happy, but mostly because they were together.
As they watched the game, Olivia got to thinking about college and what it would be like for them to play together.
'Can you imagine us on the court together, playing college ball? How awesome would that be?' she asked, leaning in and nudging Alex.
'It would be incredible. You and I at the same college, wearing the same uniform. I can't get over it.' Alex smiled at Olivia, turning her eyes back to the game.
It seemed that Murphy and his law would not be kind to them that day, however. They weren't expecting anyone to be listening, so they were speaking in voices loud enough for people around them to hear. Not that there was anyone around them, or so they thought. Alex felt a strong, thin hand grasp, vice-like, on her shoulder. And a voice hissed in her ear.
'Alexandra.'
Alex cringed at the sound and the feel of the hand gripping her shoulder. She knew exactly who it was and she panicked briefly. Pulling herself together long enough to give Olivia a wide-eyed look, she turned around and faced her mother. Alex smiled with what she hoped was innocence.
'Hello, Mother. What in the world are you doing here? You never come to games, not even mine, much less a volleyball game.'
Virginia let Alex's words brush right past her, ignoring them completely.
'Alexandra, I would like to speak to you outside, alone.' She gave a meaningful look towards Olivia and then swung her death-stare back towards Alex.
'Uh,' Alex stuttered, not really wanting to be anywhere alone with her mother. 'Why?'
'I do not need to give an explanation. Come with me before I am forced to make a scene!'
'But Mother...' Alex started.
'Alexandra!' her mother screeched, causing people to turn and stare. 'I am not an idiot, contrary to what you may believe. I know that you lied to me this morning and were surely planning on being with her.' She inclined her head at Olivia, and the brunette looked away, feeling the spite from Virginia's words and actions.
Alex stood up, not wanting to cause any more of a commotion than they already had and followed her mother out of the gymnasium. She turned back to give an apologetic look to Olivia. She mouthed I'm sorry and turned back around.
Outside, Virginia turned on her daughter as soon as they were relatively out of earshot of people loitering around the entrance to the gym. A cat yelped and scampered out from behind a dumpster as the mother and daughter approached the dark alley. It was damp and the darkness itself seemed to muffle their voices and hide them from view.
Alex crossed her arms, subconsciously trying to defend herself from the impending verbal blows sure to come from her mother. She was unhappy with being pulled out of the stands in front of her friends and all the parents, so she spoke up first.
'I don't see what you're so mad about.'
A vein pulsed on Virginia's temple. She was mad.
'Do not play dumb with me. You lied to me this morning.'
'I did not. I said I was going to the volleyball game with my basketball team. Is this what you're really mad about?' Alex couldn't understand what the big deal was; she was sitting near her teammates, and it wasn't like she was caught with Olivia in some sort of compromising position.
'Your team,' Virginia scoffed. 'You two were hardly sitting with them. But that is not what I'm mad about, no. I heard what you were saying about college. You are planning on going to the same school as her, are you not?'
Alex didn't know what to say. She just had to hear what they were saying, didn't she? Couldn't she have come in thirty seconds later? When Alex didn't say anything, Virginia spoke again.
'So you are. Sneaking around behind my back, planning on being roommates are we?' Her mouth curved up in a sneer.
'Mother,' Alex finally found her voice. She uncrossed her arms and took a step towards her mother, looking her in the eye. 'It really doesn't concern you if we want to go to the same college, especially if I get a scholarship. You said it yourself, it's my choice.'
'You think it's that easy, do you?' Virginia stared right back at her, matching the heat of her gaze. 'You think you can just do whatever you want, leave me behind and go off all by yourself. You think you can ruin your reputation and your life by throwing it away to be with her?'
Shaking her head, Alex looked at the wet asphalt of the alley. 'So what if I do? What if I want to be on my own?'
'You have no idea what it's like to be in the real world, Alexandra. You're going to make a choice, right here and now.'
Alex paled, the blood drained from her face and she knew what was coming.
'Either you pick another college or university, one without Olivia, or you convince her to go somewhere else. If you don't, you will be cut off. Completely. No contact with me or your father or Mae, or anyone else in our family. No money, no support. Nothing.'
'You wouldn't,' Alex whispered, fully believing that she would.
Virginia laughed quietly. 'You know that I am, my dear. Do not make the mistake of underestimating me.'
…
Around the corner, Olivia let her head fall gently against the brick wall as she listened to Virginia's ultimatum. She had wanted to stay close in case things got physical with Alex and her mother, God knew she had enough experience with that. But she hadn't expected to hear what she did; she hadn't expected Virginia to be so cold and heartless. She should have known, but she thought a mother must surely love her daughter more than that. But what experience did she have in that area? Not much.
She walked away from the alley, knowing what Alex's answer to the ultimatum would be. She knew her girlfriend. She knew that she wasn't as strong as she made out to be. Alex couldn't cut the apron strings, couldn't bear to be away from her family, and as hard as Olivia knew it was going to be, Alex was going to choose her family over Olivia.
Olivia waited near the door to the gymnasium for Alex to return, but she never did. After a while, Olivia walked back to the alley to see if they were still there. It was empty, but still as dark and damp and depressing as ever. Virginia must have forced her to go home. She sighed and hung her head.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
The next day, Alex was walking up the sidewalk towards the school, and Olivia studied her face. She looked haggard, like she hadn't slept much. She was pale and looked sad, lost in thought as she studied the ground in front of her.
Olivia intercepted her before she reached the steps. She opened her arms to pull Alex into a hug. It looked like she needed it. Alex stepped into her arms, into her warm embrace and rested her head on Olivia's strong shoulder. Olivia inhaled deeply the smell of Alex's shampoo, loving the way it smelled; she became immediately apprehensive of what she was about to hear.
'Liv,' Alex said in a quiet voice, she had been dreading this conversation, not wanting to relate everything her mother had told her.
'You don't have to explain what she said, Alex,' Olivia said, pushing Alex away slightly so that she could look into her eyes. 'I was standing by the alley last night. I heard everything.'
Alex sighed, her shoulders slumped in defeat. 'So you know.'
'Yeah.'
'Liv, I don't want to lose you.' Alex's eyes started to tear up then, she couldn't hold back her emotions.
'I know. But I also know what you chose.' Olivia's eyes hardened.
'You do?'
'I do. I know you. You can't be disowned by your family. They mean too much to you. Especially your dad. And Mae.'
'But, I've been thinking,' Alex said, a glimmer of hope entering her voice. 'My dad won't let her do this.'
Olivia cut her off before she could continue. 'Alex, don't kid yourself. You heard her. She'll go through with it.'
'But what are we going to do?' Her face was pained, there had to be a better solution to this.
'Long distance relationship, I guess.' Olivia looked away, she was bitter and wished things were different.
'We can make it work. We love each other.' Alex grabbed her shoulders, forcing Olivia to look into her eyes. 'Liv.'
'I know, Alex. We do. It's going to be hard, though.'
'Yeah, it is.'
As she agreed to a long distance relationship that she knew would be hard, Olivia wondered why Alex couldn't stand up for the girl she loved, for what she believed in. Wasn't their love stronger than that?
A/N - Thank you to those of you have stuck with me so far! Reviews make me happy and let me know how you're feeling about the story.
