Alexandria was quiet when Daryl got home. He had been out hunting most of the day, his tracking stalled by the presence of a small herd of walkers he had to wait out to pass him, destroying the game trail he had been following. Rick met him at the gate when he returned, touching base about what had happened while he was gone. Rick looked grim as he described the scene of events, a breach in the south east 4th panel, causing a couple of walkers to wander through the south garden. He wasn't sure why the wall had failed in that section, but he had Tobin and a couple others looking into it, reinforcing the steel and wood, trying to determine if it had been tampered with.
Rick shook his head as he described how Audrey, the town's teacher and oldest resident had been working in the garden with some of the kids at the time, teaching them about plants. She was caught off guard when the walker approached her. She shooed the children away back to their houses, as she tried to distract the walker, but she was unable to take it down. It got her on the forearm, not fatally wounding her. When she was brought to the clinic though, she had a massive heart attack and died. Ellie snapped, frantically trying anything she could think of to help the woman, with no results. Her husband Frank told the girls to stop, put his hand on his wife's body, leaned in and kissed her for the last time, before exiting the clinic, leaving the women alone with his wife's corpse. Ellie was so visibly shaken that Denise had to take her knife to the old woman, as Ellie was incapable. Hearing the story made Daryl wince uncomfortably, his brow furrowing in concern. Rick explained how she had left the clinic in a daze, and Denise had told him what had happened, and when he went to talk to her she just walked right past him. A heavy weight formed in Daryl's gut, a strong pull to seek her out and make sure she was okay, and he nodded at Rick, before taking off to the house.
After the few weeks she had been in Alexandria, Daryl had found himself drawn inexplicably to the woman, seeking her out often after runs or a hard day's work just to chat for a few minutes. Something about her was comforting, he felt at ease with her in a way he never had before. Sharing accommodations at Aaron and Eric's house meant even more opportunity to see and speak with her, and as he got to know her, he couldn't shake the attraction that was brewing. It was not just physical, of course. He had never been a slave to primal urges, couldn't be bothered most of the time. He wondered sometimes in his youth if he was broken or wrong, but those feelings faded as he found diversions to justify his lack of interest in the opposite sex. That wasn't to say he never indulged. Merle had given him more than one opportunity to take pleasure in random women.
It wasn't until Beth that he opened himself up to the idea that he could connect with someone on a deeper level, and know the benefits of that. Beth had opened a door for him, which despite the heartache of losing her, had remained ajar, and he felt it was a fitting tribute to the young blonde beauty that he keep a part of him open to possibilities. She would have been proud of his progress. He saw similarities in Ellie, though she was not Beth in any way, she had a deeper, darker past than he could even imagine, she was not nearly as optimistic as Beth, and she was way more skeptical. Still there was something about her that he respected, something that drew him in. A mystery that he longed to solve. He wondered if he solved the mystery if he would lose interest, but didn't actually think that was possible. He was beginning to think that there was more than one mystery laying deep within her soul.
He walked into the house, the living room and kitchen dimly lit. He listened carefully for the noises in the house and found it quiet. He shed his jacket and vest, hanging them on the stand beside the door and kicked off his boots. He could feel eyes on him watching his actions, and turned to scan the dim living room, his eyes adjusting to the light. It was there that he found her, curled into the corner of the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest, gripping a glass of amber liquid. He saw the bottle on the table, half empty, and cocked an eyebrow, curious. She was watching him as he nodded his head at her. Her steely grey eyes never left his face as he made his way over to the couch, dropping down heavily across from her. He watched her closely as she took a sip of the liquid in the glass, savoring the burn as it traveled down her throat.
"You okay?" he asked, leaning his elbow on the arm of the couch, a finger making its way into his mouth so he could chew on a fingernail. His gaze was penetrative as he studied her, causing her to squirm under his scrutiny. She nodded her head slowly, turning slightly to rub her chin on her shoulder. Her hair hung in a long loose braid over her shoulder, a sign she had recently showered, dark brown tendrils framing her face where they escaped from the braid. The contrast made her pale skin stand out more especially in the dimly lit room. She wore a simple white tee shirt, and black sweats, slung low on her hips. He could see her toes peeking out from the puddled hems of her pant legs.
"I heard what happened today," he said, clearing his throat as he absently rubbed his chin. "Shitty deal."
Ellie scoffed, then furrowed her brow as she stretched her neck from side to side slowly. His eyes followed the lines of her neck, graceful and long lean muscles. She gripped the glass tightly, hesitating before taking another small sip of the amber liquid. She stared into the glass, studying its contents, as tears welled up in her eyes. She sniffed softly before rubbing her chin on her shoulder again. She was trying very hard to reign her emotions in, it was apparent.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, his voice deep and gravely.
"I'll be okay," she said softly, her voice flat.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Just tryin to process it. It's unfair, she didn't deserve that. Such a strong lady, made it this far through all this ugliness and that's how she goes down. Felt very helpless."
Daryl was quiet for a bit as he studied her, assessing her before speaking.
"I'm sure you did everything you could," he said, his voice deep and husky.
"Wasn't enough though, in the end," she said, her mouth drawn in. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it at the corner. He watched her, mesmerized by the movement, unaware of how deeply it captivated his attention. He eventually pulled his gaze away, slightly jarred at the intensity of his interest in her lower lip. She brought the glass up to her mouth again, taking another sip.
"It was enough. You gave her something for pain, her husband was by her side. Nowadays that's a blessing and a rarity," he said, trying to offer her some comfort. She nodded, staring vacantly, sighing heavily. When she didn't respond, he reached over and snatched the glass of whiskey out of her hand, downing the remnants and placing it on the table. "Ain't gonna find no comfort in that," he said simply, relishing the after burn of the familiar liquid.
"You're right," she said, sighing. She uncurled her legs, pushed herself up off the couch, grabbed the bottle and headed for the kitchen, placing it down on the counter.
"Where did you get it from?" he asked, following her.
"Frank. He said he could see something in my eyes, thought I could use it. Man's wife of sixty years just died and he was concerned about me," she commented, scoffing at herself. Unable to stop the tears from flowing, she swiped them away, suddenly flustered. "He reminds me of my gramps. Always worried about others, always worried about me," she whispered, her voice shaking.
Daryl, unaccustomed and uncomfortable with watching her shed such emotions, closed the gap between them, and grabbed her wrist as she wiped away tears. His thumb carefully grazed the inside of her wrist, and he could feel her rapid pulse beating beneath her soft pale skin. Pressed up against her, he breathed in deeply, smelling the faint smell of coconut, and soap. Her breath hitched momentarily as she adjusted to his closeness, her back firmly pressed against the counter, no escape from his presence available to her. His scent invaded her senses, the smell of musk, dirt, forest, and man. It was intoxicating. He grabbed her other hand, and squeezed her fingers reassuringly, bringing her back to the present. She furrowed her brow, and ducked her head, placing her forehead on his shoulder, collecting herself.
Unsure with what to do, he hesitantly brought his hand up her arm, stroking her shoulder soothingly, his thumb making small gentle circles on her warm soft skin while she collected herself. She kept her head ducked for a few minutes, relishing in the closeness he was offering her, feeling comforted by his attempts to soothe her, breathing in the scent of him. Eventually she brought her head up from his shoulder, and looked him in the eye. His concern for her was evident in his gaze, his brow furrowed, his eyes piercing in their blueness. She lost herself in that gaze momentarily, before turning her gaze to his lips. Before she could think too much into it, she leaned up on her toes and, placing her hand on the back of his neck, brought his lips towards hers, kissing him deeply.
It took a moment for it to register to Daryl what was happening, but once her actions sunk in, he began returning the kiss with vigor. Weeks of unspoken heat and tension between them cascaded into action. His hand left her shoulder and traveled down to her waist, pulling her tightly towards him, her body molded to his. She arched her back in response, pressing into him firmly, as her lips opened slightly, and letting out a raspy breath. He took advantage of the moment, diving on her mouth, his tongue delving in to the welcoming warmth. He could taste the whiskey on her, feel the heat of the flush of her cheeks and savored the sensory impact as his hands caressed her waist, moving of their own accord. Gripping her firmly he lifted her up and sat her on the counter. Her legs opened to allow him to lean in close as he worked at her lips, settling her warm thighs on his hips. She leaned into him, her breasts pressing against his chest as he hungrily tasted her. His hands moved from her hips up her rib cage, settling just below her breasts. He moved his lips away from hers, marking a trail of hot kisses along her chin and down to her neck. Her breathe quickened and she tilted her head back to give him access to her warm soft skin, hitting her head on the cupboard behind her, jarring her back to reality. He drew his lips off of her and looked at her with concern, his eyes dark with lust, pupils dilated. His breathing was just as erratic as hers. She giggled softly, and brought her hand up to his face, caressing his cheek gently, feeling the stubble scratch her palm. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, trying to collect himself.
Before he could talk himself back to reality and rationalize the situation, Ellie was grabbing his hand, and hopping of the counter. She pulled him with her down the hall to her room, opening the door and leading him inside. She closed the door behind them, and leaned against it, biting her bottom lip, and looked up at him from under her dark lashes. Her chest heaved as she took in a nervous breath, and his eyes on her stoked the fire that was building in her gut. She was unsure how to proceed, but could not shake the feeling that this felt right.
He grabbed her hand, squeezing reassuringly, and pulled her towards him. She crashed against his body, her arms wrapping around his neck as his lips found hers again, crashing hard into each other as they hungrily attacked each other. Their tongues danced in unison as her hands snaked up his neck and through his hair, her nails lightly scraping his scalp. His hands on her back traveled along her spine and down towards the soft curve of her ass, his hand landing firmly and squeezing, pulling her close enough she could feel him between them. They made their way towards the bed and he gently laid her down, tearing his lips away from hers to lay a new trail of kisses along her chin. She gasped when he found her earlobe and when he gently grazed his teeth on the skin behind her ear she made a noise that made his eyes darken and he grinned with satisfaction as he continued to lay a trail of soft bites and gentle kisses down her neck.
Her hands wandered, caressing his firm biceps, running across his shoulders and down his chest. She began unbuttoning his shirt and he quickly shed it, tossing it to the floor. She ran her hands over the hard muscles of his naked chest, feeling the quickening of his pulse as she grazed her fingers along the base of his neck, trailing the dips of his clavicles, marking a trail with her searing touch. His head dipped lower as he made his way to the valley between her breasts, his hands cupping her and squeezing, his thumb grazing over one of her nipples that was visible through her shirt and bra. She sucked in a breath, relishing his touch and how good it made her feel. Her hands threaded through his hair, pressing him into her chest as he led a trail with his tongue over the top of her breast, and down to her nipple, wetting the fabric that covered her. He moved his hands down her torso and lifted her top up her body and over her head, exposing her bare skin and a white lace bra, her nipples jutting out firmly waiting for attention. He dove on one, lapping it with his tongue as she gasped.
His hands reached behind her and unhooked her bra, shedding it and adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He looked at her naked breasts hungrily, like he was heading for a buffet after a hunger strike. His hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs grazing her erect nipples gently at first, then harder as she moaned and writhed in response. When he replaced his thumbs with his lips, she nearly bucked off the bed as his tongue and lips worked magic on her naked skin. She writhed underneath him as he worked on one breast and then the other, before his lips began to trail further down, kissing her abdomen as his hands made their way down her soft skin towards the waistband of her pants.
It took a minute to jar her back to reality when he stopped what he was doing. He had taken her completely out of herself, and when her mind caught up to what was going on and registered why he had stopped, she was startled by her lack of awareness and concern. When she looked at him he was staring at her abdomen, his hands gently tracing each scar, his brow furrowed in concern, his eyes dark now, not just with lust, but something more. A searing, penetrative heat that should have scared her or at the least startled her, but didn't.
She had never shown anyone her scars, and that this was just registering now was startling to her. It showed the level of trust she had in this man that she was not even remotely concerned about what he might think. But looking at his face as he counted each pink scar made her second guess that feeling momentarily. She suddenly felt exposed, flayed open like her skin had been peeled back and he was studying her insides. She froze, her breath catching in her throat as he brought his gaze up to meet her eyes. She dropped her head back on the bed, and brought her hands up to cover her face, trembling fingers resting on her forehead. She could feel Daryl's hand gently stroke the skin on her abdomen before he reached up and removed her hands from her face.
Daryl stared at her, studying her face as dozens of questions flashed through his mind. He looked for clues in her eyes as to where to even begin, but all he could see was that she was suddenly utterly and completely rattled, when before she had seemed so sure of herself. Her sudden shift in demeanor put the brakes on the charging steam train that this encounter had begun as, and it was now full-blown stopped. He was alarmed by the look of fear in her eyes that flashed momentarily, concerned that he had caused it.
He rolled off her, and lay beside her on the bed, catching his breath. He could hear her ragged breathing beside him as they both stared at the ceiling. Neither of them moved for a few moments, and he was just contemplating his next move when she reached for him, grabbing his hand and threading her fingers with his, squeezing tightly. Her fingers and her hand trembled inside his. He leaned over her, and she hesitantly made eye contact with him, her confidence all but gone. He brushed a couple of loose tendrils away from her face, his touch gentle as a feather, and he gently leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Sitting up, he reached over and grabbed her shirt, handing it back to her so she could cover up.
Ellie absently pulled her top on over her head, as she shimmied to the end of the bed. She sat close to Daryl, their thighs touching as the silence crept over them. She shakily brought a hand up to her hair and collected her braid, undoing the elastic and running her fingers through her long dark locks. Daryl cleared his throat, and pushed himself off the bed, the sudden urge to move taking over. He grabbed his shirt, swiftly throwing it back on and buttoning it up. His skin itched and tremored with something he could not quite place, but it drove him into a fit of restlessness he could not quell. He began pacing in the small room, chewing on a fingernail.
Ellie felt suddenly empty, when he rose from the bed. The distance he put between them felt like miles, the bedroom both too big and too small all at once. Her throat went dry as she tried to formulate words to reason or to explain or to just close the distance, but came up short.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, avoiding her eyes, bringing his hands up and rubbing his head. "I… what…shit…," he struggled to find words to express what was tumbling through his brain.
"It's not your fault," she replied softly. "Please don't apologize."
"What happened?" he asked, walking towards her, reaching for her face, gently stroking her cheek and guiding her chin up so she was forced to look at him. Tears welled in her eyes as she shook her head.
"I can't… it's… complicated," she replied, wincing at her shit explanation. He dropped his hand from her chin, placing both hands on his hips as he took a deep breath in. He leaned back, studying her, before slowly nodding in understanding. "I just…"
"s'okay," he said, holding a hand up to stop her explanation. Unsure of how to proceed, and feeling more jittery and uncomfortable by the second, he made the decision to remove himself from the situation. "I should go."
Ellie furrowed her brow and ducked her head, not sure how to respond.
"I wish you wouldn't," she said softly, as she wiped at a tear that escaped from her eyes. "Stay? Please?"
"Ell, I…," he started, pausing as the impact of her pleas hit him. She needed comfort, but he wasn't sure how to provide that, the heat from earlier diminished to a flicker of an ember in his gut. He didn't think he was capable of offering comfort to anyone, didn't think he had that set of skills, but he knew that for her, he would try. She pushed herself up off the bed, and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and pulling him tightly to her, placing her head on his shoulder as she fought to control her emotions. He hesitated momentarily before his arms moved as if of their own accord, wrapping around her and squeezing her firmly against him, resting his chin on her head.
"I'm not good at this," he said, in reference to all of it. She nodded slowly, her head moving ever so slightly against his shoulder.
"Yes you are," she whispered in response.
He didn't know how long they stayed like that, or at what point they ended up back in the bed, her curled up next to him, her head on his chest, or how long they slept like that. All he knew was that when he woke the next morning, as the sun poked through the curtains on her window, his need to escape bubbled to the surface again. It started as subtle tremors underneath his skin, and eventually he couldn't fight the need to move, to get away, to think. It all suddenly became overwhelming and too much. He cared deeply for her, he knew it. Seeing those marks on her skin made him feel things he never thought he would feel for another person, the urge to save her from something that had clearly happened a long time ago was too strong to fight. He didn't even know if she still needed saving, but he could tell that whatever it was, it still affected her strongly.
Unable to lay still any longer, he gently eased out from under her, waiting until she rolled over and resettled into the bed before getting up and throwing on his shirt. He looked at her sleeping form, leaning over her and brushing a stray strand of hair away, gently caressing her face. The desire to treat her like she was fragile, like porcelain, was strong, even though he knew how strong and capable she was. He stared at her features, memorizing them before slinking quietly out of the room and shutting the door. When Ellie woke later, alone in her bed, she would not know when he left, or why, but could feel in her heart that it would be a while before she saw him again. The thought both stung her deeply, and made perfect sense. She had pushed him beyond his comfort level last night, and had a pang of regret that it may have been more selfish than she intended.
