Fresh Start

Chapter 9

"This actually works out quite nicely," Karen went on as I stared down at the name book she had set in my lap. Yes, we are resorting to this. So?

"What does?" I asked, not looking up.

"Well," she began as she walked around the living room, picking up Vinny and Thisbe's toys as she went. "Linda's due in the middle of May. So I can go down there, see her and the baby, and still be back here for your graduation."

I made a face as I finally did lift my head. "You really don't need to go to that."

"Of course I do, Auden."

Sighing, I said, "How long are you going to be with Linda?"

"I don't know," Karen told me honestly. "Not too long, or else Joseph would have to go. You know how much he hates for me to go somewhere without him."

"Yeah," I said, thinking back to that trip she had taken to see her family, leaving him behind at the house. "He hates that."

She smiled at me then before leaving the room for a moment to put Vinny and Thisbe's toys away. It was Friday night and, though I didn't plan to, I was once again stuck with the Stocks. Or, well, Karen. This was mainly due the fact that after school, Joseph had taken Vinny and Thisbe to the beach, Eli and Jake tagging along. As there was no part of me that wanted anything to do what that, I opted to stay home. Though my plan was to be at Eli's apartment, Karen quickly roped me into spending some well-deserved time with her. I mean, I did spend last weekend with my parents, the first in a long time. It was only natural that I spend even more time with the Stocks, to counterbalance. Right?

"The kids should be home soon," Karen told me as she came back into the living room, though she quickly headed into the kitchen. "I'm just making hotdogs for dinner. That's what Vinny asked for. Hotdogs and fries."

"He really likes chicken nuggets," I told her, the memory of the thousands of times he acted for them on our weekend away not leaving my mind for a second.

"Yes," she called from the kitchen. "But I don't. So he can't have any."

Smiling, I looked back down at the book before setting it to the side, deciding that I really didn't want to think any more about names for the day. I figured that one would come to me eventually. And if worse comes to worse, we'll just name the baby something and then call him by a nickname. That's what people do anyways, right?

I had just turned on the television when the front door opened and Thisbe and Vinny burst in. Karen stuck her head out of the kitchen, quickly directing them both to the bathroom to get out of their wet clothes. Not soon after them came Jake and his father.

"Where's Eli?" I asked as Joseph headed into the kitchen, either in search of his wife or food. I wasn't quite sure. "Jake?"

"The bike shop," he told me. "Clyde needed him for something. I don't know. I didn't ask."

Making a face, I said, "Then I guess I better head home."

"Why?" Joseph came from the kitchen with an apple in his hands. "You aren't staying for dinner?"

"N-"

"Yes, Auden, you are."

I rolled my eyes as Karen came out of the back hallway, a clean Thisbe with her. "Really, I-"

"What's over there for you to eat at that apartment?"

"Hotdogs. Same thing as here."

"We're having hotdogs?" Jake made a face at his mother before saying, "Come on, Mom. You were home all day. Isn't that kind of a give up?"

His father hit him in the back of the head as he passed.

"Joseph!" Karen frowned, but her husband just continued out of the room. Rubbing the back of his head, Jake followed, though I'm sure he was headed to his own bedroom to lick his wounds.

"Honestly," Karen complained, though I wasn't sure who it was to as I and my sister were the only ones in the room. Thisbe smiled at me then, letting go of Karen's hand to come sit on the couch with me.

"Hi, Auden," she said, reaching over to pat my stomach, her and Vinny's typical greeting. "Eli went to work."

"I heard," I told her. "Are you going to go home with me, Thisbe? Or spend the night with Vinny?"

"Vinny's stupid."

"Thisbe."

She sat back then, looking to Karen. "Can I spend the night?"

"Of course, sweetheart," she said, distracted as her husband came back into the room, an apple core in his hands. As he passed by her, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before continuing on into the kitchen. "Joseph, did you guys not want hotdogs?"

"Jake was being foolish, dear," he told her as she followed him in there.

"There's still time for me to make something else if-"

"We want hotdogs," Vinny announced as he came into the room, already dressed his pajamas. "'cause I said so."

"Well, if the boy says so," I heard Joseph say from the other room.

With that complete, Vinny rushed over to the couch to sit on my other side, giving my stomach his customary pat before snuggling into my side. Frowning down at him, I scooted slightly away.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him.

"I'm cold," he told me as he continued to lean against me. "IT's cold. You ain't cold?"

"No," I told him, though I gave in and let him lean against me. "Not really."

"Oh." He yawned then before glancing over at the kitchen. "We're eating hotdogs."

"Yeah, Vinny, I know."

Thisbe giggled then. "Auden?"

"What?"

"Can we watch cartoons?"

Rolling my eyes, I changed the channel from the news to something they would enjoy more. It worked in my favor as not soon after I did this, Vinny sat up to look at the television better, leaving me and my side alone.

"Daddy," Vinny squealed when the door opened some time later, his father coming through the door dressed in his work attire. "You're home."

"I am," Steven said, hardly glancing at me as Vinny ran over to him to give him a hug. "Hey, buddy."

"We went to the beach," Vinny told him. "And Thisbe's going to spend the night and Auden's here and Eli's not and-"

"Okay, okay, calm down." Steven gave him a pat on the head before heading into the kitchen. Vinny frowned before running off after him, which turned out to be good timing as not soon after, Karen called out that it was time to eat.

"Is anyone going to get Jake?" Karen asked not soon after I got into the kitchen. "Steven?"

He frowned as he grabbed some hotdog buns and one each on two plates, no doubt for Thisbe and his son. "Vinny, go get your uncle."

Growling, his son stomped off, no doubt ready for his dinner than then bed. It was getting rather late.

"Thank you," Thisbe said after Steven got her a hotdog and some French fries. He just grinned at her, like he always did. For all the hate he had for me, Steven seemed to like my sister well enough. Then again, she was his son's only friend. He couldn't exactly be mean to her. And besides, Thisbe's a little doll. No one could hate her. Ever.

"Are we all eating in the living room then, Joseph?" Karen asked as her husband took his plate and headed in there. "And if so, why?"

"It's baseball season," he told her simply. "I took the kids to the beach, you get to feed them and put them to bed."

"Is that how this works?"

"It's how it works today. And you're rather nosy today, dear."

She hummed slightly as she took a seat at the kitchen table, Thisbe quickly following her lead and going over there as well. I went ahead and got her some juice before getting my own dinner and taking my seat.

"Where's my food?" Vinny complained as he came back into the kitchen. Steven was just finishing his own plate and frowned over at him.

"Lose the attitude, bud," he said then, shaking his head. "It's on the table."

"I wanna eat with the men."

"And you can, when you are one. Now go sit next to Granny and behave."

Vinny waited until his father had turned his back to stick his tongue out at him, though he quickly did as he was told, climbing into the chair between Thisbe and Karen.

"I'm tired," Vinny announced before whining. "Granny."

"What?"

"I need ketchup."

Letting out a soft sigh, she stood to get him some while Steven just headed out of the room. As she made it back to the table, Jake came into the room, a pouty look on his face.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Karen asked, glancing at him.

"I don't get any respect around here," he told her then.

"What's wrong?"

Jake huffed slightly, shaking his head. I just rolled my eyes before going back to my dinner. Jake had a flare for the dramatic.

"Dad's been really mean to me recently and then he hit me today. Hit me!"

"I saw," Karen said slowly.

"And then he sent me to my room. Like I'm a kid. Do I look like a kid?"

"No, but-"

"He doesn't respect me, Mom, and I-"

"Do you pay for anything in this house?"

We all frowned as Joseph spoke up form the living room.

"No," he answered for his youngest son, his voice coming out forceful and definite. "And you're gladly allowed to walk out at any time."

"Joseph." Karen didn't have to see her husband to get her point across. "Knock it off. Now. And Jake, not now, alright, honey? Just eat dinner."

"I don't want hotdogs."

"Then what do you-"

"You are not making that boy dinner, Karen," Joseph spoke up again. "He can have what you've already made or-"

"You wanted to watch baseball, Joseph," his wife reminded him. "So watch it."

"I want a cheeseburger," Jake said then, softer than before no doubt to keep his father from overhearing. "But I'm all out of money."

Karen rolled her eyes. "My purse is in my bedroom, Jake. And I do know for certain how much is in there, so you had better not take more than a ten."

"Okay." He smiled then, real big. "I love you, Mom."

"Mmmm."

Not soon after he was gone, Vinny spoke up again.

"How come Grandpa don't want Jake to get food?" he asked. "I got my hotdogs. How come Jake can't get his hamburger?"

"Because Jake's not a little boy," I told him. Vinny just glared at me from across the table.

"I ain't one neither, Auden," he said then, shaking his head. "I'mma man."

Karen just sighed before taking a bite of her hotdog, ignoring him otherwise. She didn't speak again until she got up to put her plate in the sink. That just so happened to be about the same time her husband came into the kitchen, his destination the same.

"I told you not to make him food, Karen," was the first thing he said. Though Jake had left about ten minutes ago, it clearly was still bothering her husband. Karen just rolled her eyes.

"I didn't."

"You didn't," he agreed. "Instead, you gave him money to go get something else when there was more than enough food for him here to eat."

"It's my money."

"Oh, don't play that game, Karen."

"It is. It's my-"

"Then I want my loan back, Karen. Interest included."

"What are you-"

"Who helped pay for your college, Karen?" Her husband rinsed off his plate before looking at her. "I'm calling it in."

"You-"

"We've shared a bank account since we were twenty years old, Karen, if not younger." Joseph sighed before turning to walk away. "You baby him."

"What do you want me to do, Joseph?"

"I don't want you to do anything. I want him to move out."

"He can't afford to, Joseph."

"No one can. No one in this house can afford to live on there own. Jake can't afford to live alone, Steven can't afford to live with his children, Eli can't afford dinner or rent or even pay for the next damn kid he's having. I don't see how-"

"You stop it, Joseph. What is wrong with you?"

He just headed back into the living room, not saying anything more.

"Your grandpa is grumpy," Thisbe told Vinny as she dunked a fry in some of his ketchup. Vinny nodded.

"He missed naptime, probably," he said. "Then we went to the beach. Bet he's sleepy."

"Mmmhmm," Thisbe agreed. "Mr. Joey is sleepy."

"Hush," I told them as Steven came into the room. He just looked at his mother.

"Is he-"

She held up her hand, not letting him get his question out. "Not now, Steven."

"Mom-"

"He's just upset." Karen shook her head before going back over to the table, reclaiming her seat. Absently, she reached over to pat Vinny on the head. "He's just stressed."

"He needs to go to sleep," Vinny told her, nodding his head. "Thisbe and I 'cided."

"Eat your dinner, Vinny," she said, shaking her head slightly. "Then you and Thisbe need to go to bed. Baths in the morning. I'm too tired to worry about that now."

"You're sleepy too?" Thisbe asked her.

"Yes."

"Did you miss naptime?"

"No," Karen told them, sighing again. "It's just been a late night, kids, that's all."

"They can come home with me, Karen," I said. "Really."

"It's fine. They're just going to go to sleep, yes?" She posed the question to the kids who both smiled at her, like little angels. The little devils…

"Yes, Granny," Vinny said, smiling at her. "Me and Thisbe will sleep all night. And you ain't even gotta read us a story or nothing."

"I don't?"

"Nope."

"Well, I want to read you a story," she said. "Now, are you both done?"

I stuck around to help Karen put them to bed, knowing that she was preoccupied with her husband's little outburst more than anything. After she had read them some little kid version of a bible story, Karen left the kids alone, snuggled up in Vinny's bed. I stayed though, staring down at them.

"Did you want to sleep with us, Auden?" Vinny asked me innocently, scooting away from my sister some; I think to give me space. "You can."

"Yeah," Thisbe said, smiling up at me. "You can."

"No, guys, I don't think so," I said, smiling back at them. "I'm going to go home. I'm sure Eli's waiting for me."

"Will you come by tomorrow?"

"I'm sure we'll see each other," I told Thisbe. "We always do."

"I love you, Auden," she told me back.

"I love you guys too," I told them. "Goodnight."

"G'night," Vinny told me with a giggle. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Auden," Thisbe echoed. "Night, baby."

As I turned to leave the room, Joseph was heading in. He didn't even look at me and part of me was afraid that he was going in there to finish his yelling streak, this time at the kids.

"Grandpa," Vinny called out as he came into the room. I was out the door at that point, but as it was open, I could still hear them. "Hi."

"Hi, kids."

"You need to go to sleep," Thisbe told him. "That's how come you're so grouchy."

"You're a bear."

"I'm a bear?" he repeated his grandson's words.

"Mmmhmm," Thisbe agreed. "Rawr."

The kids broke out into giggles then as Joseph roared back at them, it obvious from the way that they were laughing that he was tickling them as well. They liked that, when Joseph ticked them. He was a fun grandfather if he was anything. And he'd give up anything for his grandchildren. Even his happiness.


"You're drunk."

"Mmmm."

I sighed, opening the front door further, Clyde walking into the house as he supported my boyfriend.

"You'd think he'd learn to hold his liquor," Clyde told me as he led him over to the couch.

"The bedroom," I corrected, rubbing a hand over my stomach. "Take him to the bedroom."

"You sure?" Clyde glanced back at me as I shut the front door.

"Definitely."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"I have to be near him, in case he, like, chokes on his vomit."

"I am not that drunk," Eli told me with convection, almost tripping over his own feet and slamming his face against the wall. Thank God he didn't do that. Seriously.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, following them into the bedroom. "I can't believe you, Clyde."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. He was coming home to me after the beach and then you-"

"I seriously needed him at the shop," he defended. "And then he went out drinking with Wallace. You're lucky I went and got him, over here blaming me for shit. He's your boyfriend."

Clyde literally shoved him down onto the bed when he got to it. Eli just laid there, motionless for awhile before groaning and rolling onto his back.

"I didn't mean to make you upset," I told him softly, staring at Eli who just curled up on his side, whining. "I'm just tired of this."

Clyde let out a soft sigh before looking at me, standing there with my arms crossed, looking less than thrilled. "Do you need something, Auden?"

I just shook my head then, staring down at my boyfriend. "I shouldn't of come."

"What do you mean?"

Shrugging slightly, I said, "It's always something here. It's…stressful."

"Mmmm," Eli groaned, opening his eyes then. "Aud, water. Now."

Clyde shook his head at his friend before taking a step towards me. Clyde had always been extremely nice to me. Always. Everyone else in Colby always thought I was the bad one in the relationship, poor Eli for having to put up with me. All Eli's friends thought I was just a bitch. And maybe I am, but Eli's no better.

The only one that had ever really liked me, honestly liked me, was Clyde. And Adam, maybe, but mostly Clyde. I think this was mainly because he'd seen Eli at his worse, had seen him so drunk he couldn't stand, couldn't function. He had taken him home to me like that before and seen me take care of him. He knew for as bad as I might be to Eli at times, he's just as bad, if not worse back to me. He was the only one that seemed to get that.

"I have to go," Clyde told me then, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Did you…"

"Did I what?"

"Did you want to come with me?"

Turning my head up, I stared into his eyes. "What?"

"I'm going home," he told me. "You don't need to be around him, not like this. You're pregnant."

I made a soft noise, glancing back at my boyfriend. "Someone has to take care of him."

"Someone," Clyde agreed. "But not you."

"Gotta get my own damn water then?" Eli tried to push himself up around that time, about couldn't accomplish the task and gave up, laying flat on his back.

"You're going to sleep in bed with that?" Clyde asked me, shaking his head again.

"Everyday of my life."

"It's your choice, sweetness," he said then, sighing as he turned to leave the room. "You call me if he gets too bad."

"'kay."

"Take care."

"You too."

After he left, I went and got Eli a drink before climbing back into bed, where I had been when Clyde showed up. Eli had fallen into a restless sleep, mumbling under his breath the whole time. I just laid next to him for awhile, watching.

Did I really want to bring a baby into this?


"Come on. Get up. You're going to be late."

Eli groaned as I shoved his shoulder. "No. Go away. I'm sick."

"It's not at the bike shop today, Eli. It's at Fry King. You have to go."

"No. I'm sick."

"You're not sick. You got drunk last night. You need to get up now though. I mean it."

It took me nearly an hour to get Eli ready. He whined and complained the whole time about how he just waned to quit his job and all that. When I told him that we needed the money, for the baby, he asked why I didn't have to work two jobs, why I just waitress on the side while going to school. He wanted to know why that was fair.

"Because, Eli," I told him then as he stood at the sink, brushing his teeth halfheartedly. "When I graduate, I'm going to get a really good job. And me and the baby are going to go live far away, wherever the job is. And you can come, but only if you help me get through this. Because if you don't, I'll just go now."

He spit in the sink before staring up at me in the mirror, our eyes locking. He looked terrible, but I'm sure he looked that way a lot when going into work. It's not like I was expecting this job to last much longer, I'm not stupid; I'm just going to have him milk it for all its worth.

"You're a bitch."

I cocked my head to the side, still looking at him in the mirror. "And you're no better."

He let out a slow breath before turning the sink on, cupping his hand under the faucet before splashing his face. He got water everywhere in the process, but I figured I needed to clean the bathroom soon anyways.

"I'll drive you," I mumbled as he turned to leave the room and get dressed. At the moment, he was only in a pair of jeans. "You have to hurry. Do you want me to go make you a hotdog? Microwave one or whatever?"

Eli just ignored me as he went around the bedroom, getting ready. He was angry at me, 'cause you know, I was actually making him be responsible, making him help out some. I mean, God, it's not like I don't work too or don't go to school full time. Eli's older than me. He's the one that would already be graduated had he stayed with it. Instead he decided to stay at the same, meaningless job he's always had and work on bikes. Well, guess what? That won't take care of a baby all by itself. It just won't.

The whole drive down to the fast food place was silent. Eli just sat in the passenger side, not speaking at all. Which was fine. I didn't really want to speak with him either. He was just a jerk. He would always be a jerk. He was-

"Do not start crying."

I sniffled, not looking at him. "I'm not a bitch."

"I know."

"And I'm not making you go to work because I hate you or something. I'm not making you go because we need this money or I need this money, but because our baby does. He needs parents that can take care of him. You know that."

"I know."

"Okay then."

After dropping Eli off, I headed over to the Stocks. It was almost ten and I knew they'd be up. I wanted to take the kids from them, as Joseph had been in such a sour mood the day before. I figured giving them a break would cure that right up.

When I showed up at the house, Steven was just heading out to work. He was heading out the door as I walked up the porch. Though he didn't say anything, he held the door open for me and let me get inside before closing it. That was about the closest I'd ever get to kindness from him.

"Auden!"

I smiled as I came into the kitchen, the kids both in there helping Joseph make breakfast. Karen was nowhere to be found, but her car had been missing from the driveway and I assumed she went out.

"Hi," I said as Thisbe jumped down from the chair she had been standing on to rush over and hug me. She and Vinny had been standing on chairs to see the top of the counters.

"We're makin' omelets," Thisbe told me as Joseph glanced behind him at me. "Do you want one?"

"No, I-"

"You haven't eaten, have you?" Joseph didn't give me a chance to answer. "Do you like bell peppers? And ham?"

"Really, Joseph, I-"

"No onions, huh?" he asked before nodding at Vinny, who was mixing a bowl of eggs he had put in front of him. "Auden doesn't like onions."

"They're nasty," he agreed as he reached over to the other bowls in front of him. I could see ham, cheese, onions, bell peppers, and a few other things in them, no doubt meant to go in the bowls.

"No." Thisbe let me go before rushing to get back on her chair. I just rolled my eyes, heading further into the kitchen.

"I just came to get the kids," I told Joseph. "I didn't know you guys just got up."

"We didn't just get up," Vinny told me, frowning as he looked over. "We was watchin' cartoons before."

"So I guess Karen's been gone all morning then?" I asked, knowing there was no way that would have flown with her in the house.

"She had something to do with her friends," Joseph said, shaking his head. Not to mention, I'm sure, she wanted to get far away from her husband. "Shopping or eating or…I don't know. I didn't ask."

"Ms. Karen said she'd be home at three and that we should be ready to clean," Thisbe told me.

"Clean?"

"Uh-huh," Vinny said as he nodded his head. "We gotta help Granny clean the house."

"Really now."

"Yep."

"Well," I said slowly. "You both are very good at helping, I suppose."

"We are," Thisbe told me.

"I mean, you're practically making those omelets all by yourselves."

"Practice-ly," Thisbe agreed to the best of her ability.

"Practically," I corrected.

"That's what I said!"

Joseph grinned over at me then, seeming suddenly happy now that his wife wasn't the topic of discussion. "Where's Eli today, Auden?"

"Working," I told him, deciding to leave out the fight it took to get him there. "At Fry King."

"Ah."

"Eli's a good working," Thisbe said then, nodding her head. "Very good."

"Is he?" Joseph asked her.

"Of course. He's the greatest everything."

Right. He was the greatest drinking, the greatest slacker, the greatest worst boyfriend…

"Well, if you're keeping the kids then, I guess I had better go."

"Not 'fore your omelet, Auden," Vinny said then. "We're making it for you, after all."

It wasn't until we were all seated at the kitchen table that anything interesting happened. And even then, it was just that I got a text from Maggie telling me that my brother had asked her out on a date and she wanted my permission on whether or not to go on it. I was still staring at the screen, slightly peeved, when Joseph spoke to me.

"Something wrong, Auden?"

"No," I told him, looking up as I pocketed my phone without sending a reply. I mean seriously? I thought I had made it pretty clear to both her and Hollis that I wasn't cool with this. In fact, I'm certain that I made that clear. So what was wrong with them?

"Do you not like your omelet?" Thisbe asked, frowning slightly at the thought.

"No, it's not that," I told her as Vinny started whining about not having any orange juice. Standing to get him some, I said, "Maggie just texted me, that's all."

"I like Maggie," my half-sister told me as I grabbed Vinny's cup to refill it.

"I don't," he grumbled, shaking his head.

"Do you even know her?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Yes!"

"Don't yell, Vinny," his grandfather corrected, shaking his head slightly. "And yes, you do like her."

"Do not."

"You don't dislike anyone."

"Do too."

"Did Jesus dislike anyone?"

"I ain't Jesus."

"Believe me, we all know," his grandfather said with a sigh. Thisbe giggled at this, but her friend didn't seem to find it very funny.

"Regardless, Vinny, I highly doubt your opinion of her effects Maggie's day to day life," I told him as I sat the glass in front of him.

"Bet it does."

"Then you would lose that bet," I assured him with a shake of my head.

After breakfast, I stuck around to help clean up the dishes, though Joseph told me I didn't have to, before leaving the children with him and setting off back to the apartment. I figured I could clean up some there if the children were getting stuck cleaning the Stock house. It was only fair, after all.

I was busy doing that when I got another text. Again, from Maggie, but again, I ignored it. She was starting to get on my nerves, honestly. If she wasn't' careful, I might just turn into Vinny and hate her as much as he does. For whatever reason he does.

Around two, I had finished up cleaning and decided to sit down to watch some TV…only to find that the bill had gone unpaid and we had no television. You know, because my life sucks. I honestly have no idea why I continue going to Colby so frequently; Ir eally got nothing out of the trips other than random life lessons about how much it sucks to be married as long as Karen and Joseph and how much my ex-stepmother sleeps around and doesn't get pregnant, but I constantly seem to. Not sure those are such valuable lessons that I couldn't have gone without learning them.

So, seeing as I had so much time on my hands, I decided that I should do a little shopping. I had neglected to tell Eli that I hadn't yet spent the $300 from my mother for fear he would want some of it. It was a good time to go ahead and look at some of that baby stuff, I figured.

First though, I went to Heidi's shop for her help. I hadn't really shopped much before Clayton was born. This was mainly due to the fact that I never got very far into my pregnancy. Not to mention, I didn't have any money to, as my mother wasn't so forthcoming with her cash back then. Now though, would be a good time to get educated in the art of baby buying.

…God, that sounded so wrong.

"Oh, yes," Heidi literally squealed, giving a slight little jump as well. "I'll go shopping with you right now."

I had only just walked into Clementine's to find it relatively busy. All I had asked Heidi was where she thought I should start with the $300 and she went crazy on me. Ugh.

"Heidi," I said as a few of her customers turned to look at us. "Aren't you kinda busy?"

"Oh, Maddie has the counter under control," she said, nodding over at the teenaged girl standing behind the register. "I can spare and hour or two…or more."

I just stared. "I only have-"

"I know how much you have, Auden," she told me, still smiling brightly. "That's not a problem. I know exactly what we'll be getting."

"You do?"

"Well," she began. "For starters, the baby needs clothes. Do you have him any clothes?"

"Well, no."

"Not at all?"

"Karen told me that I could have any of the old stuff that she found in the attic if I-"

"He does not deserve reused clothing, Auden," she scolded before shaking her head. "What else do you have?"

"Maggie bought me a baby carrier at a garage sale."

"And?"

"And…" I thought hard even though I knew the answer. "That's it."

"That's it?"

"Well, what do you want me to say? What else would we have bought?"

"Did you get a crib yet?"

"No."

"And you don't have the one from…before?"

I shook my head. "Eli sold all that stuff."

"I thought he was-"

"It got too…costly."

"You two do realize that I was the one who gave you that crib, right?"

"Well-"

Groaning, she turned to look over at the blonde behind the counter. "You have this, right, Maddie?"

"Huh?" The girl looked over from a customer at us, seeming confused.

"See?" Heidi smiled at me. "She has this."

And that's how I ended up spending my whole afternoon with Heidi. Yep.


"You sleeping, baby?"

I just laid there on the couch, not moving. "You didn't pay the TV bill."

"Sorry." Eli closed the front door behind him. "Was there something you were hoping to see?"

"You didn't pay the bill so I went to see Heidi, only to get drug on a shopping trip." I kept my eyes closed as I laid there. "I hate you."

He grunted, walking further into the dark living room. "You clean? Smells nice."

"The reason I buy you air fresheners is for you to use them."

"I do," he defended. "When I take a shit, I spray. God, what more do you want from me?"

"Gee, I wonder."

"You did the kitchen too?"

"I'm glad you noticed," I mumbled, pushing myself up as he headed in there, no doubt in search of some food.

"Well, yeah, Auden. All those dishes are gone."

"Yeah, about that. You and Jake are not just going to be waiting around for me to show up to do the dishes. That's not going to fly anymore."

"Fly?" He snickered. "I love it when you try to sound cool."

Rolling my eyes, I stood finally, my back protesting this as I went to follow him. "What are you making?"

"Hotdogs. Duh."

"We have got to start buying more food."

"Like?"

"Like, I dunno, ice cream."

He glanced at me in the darkness before going over to the fridge. When he opened it, the sudden brightness that sprung forth from it made me squint.

"Ice cream."

"Well, yeah."

"You like ice cream?"

"I always have."

"Then I'll get you some," he told me. "For now though, you want a hotdog?"

"Not really."

Grunting, he closed the fridge before taking the pack of hotdogs over to the stove. "Get me the pot."

After doing so, I said, "I'm actually not really that tired."

"So?"

"So, did you want to do something tonight?"

"No."

"Eli-"

"Aud, I'm fucking tired, alright?"

I shook my head. "I leave tomorrow."

"All the more reason for you to get your sleep, yes?"

"No."

"You're impossible to talk to."

Making a face at him, I headed out of the kitchen, arms crossed over my chest as I went. When I got to the bedroom, I just changed before getting into bed. If he wanted to sleep, fine. We'd sleep. Stupid jerk.

Eli joined me some time later, a plate of hotdogs with him. Ignoring me, he dropped his jeans and stripped off his shirt before joining me.

"Sure you don't want some?"

"Shut up, Eli."

"I don't get why you're so upset with me."

"Because ever weekend is the fucking same," I told him, opening my eyes just to stare up at the ceiling. "I spend time with your family and my sister, then you get drunk, we argue, you work, I'm bored, and then I go home. And maybe, if you're not drunk enough, I might have to have sex with you somewhere in there. Maybe. But other than that, nothing ever changes."

He frowned at me in the darkness. "You have to have sex with me?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't think I do. It's not forced upon you."

"When I don't see you for a week or more at a time, Eli, yeah, it kind of is."

"How so?"

"You're down here in, like, party town central with all these hot chicks coming in and out constantly."

"And?"

"I'm not, okay? I'm not super hot or whatever. And if I'm not giving you sex, who is?"

He groaned. "Let me go get a beer before we have this conversation. I'm not-"

"Shut up, Eli. God, can you ever be serious?"

"Is this serious, Auden? Is it?" He took a bite of a hotdog, chewing angrily for a moment before speaking. "I'm about tired of this cheating on you crap. Did I sleep with you the first time I met you? No. I didn't. So why the hell do you think I would be sleeping with all these other random women? Huh?"

"You're drunk now, Eli. Constantly. And-"

"And I'm always with your little boyfriend to keep me in check."

"My little what?"

"Clyde," he said, saying his name slowly and with clear disdain.

"What does that even mean? What are you-"

"I see the two of you," he said, his tone an accusation from the get go. "Talking and laughing and spending time together."

"Spending time together," I said slowly. "You mean when you send me to go do your laundry while you're at work? Other than that, I never see him. Unless, like you're drunk and he brings you home."

"He calls you sweetie and hugs you and touches you."

"You're fucking psycho."

"Then he asked you to spend the night with him last night."

I frowned. "You heard that?"

"I was right here, Auden!"

"You were drunk. I thought-"

"I heard him."

"He was just being nice," I told Eli, rolling my eyes. "Clyde is, like, thirty something. He's ten years older than me. I'm-"

"I'm four years older than."

"So? Ten is a lot, Eli."

"Whatever. You just-"

"I'm not having sex with Clyde and you know it. You're just trying to change the subject."

"How do I know it, huh? You're always so bored here. What keeps you from just fucking him for fun?"

"And what keeps you from doing the same? All these…hot women-"

"What hot women, Auden? I spend all day at the bike shop and the only woman there is Brooke. And, like, ew, so-"

"Oh, whatever. You'd have sex with her. You know she would. You'd freaking-"

"I'd what, Auden? Have sex with her? She's, like, nineteen. I'm twenty-seven, baby. I'm about to be twenty-eight. So calm the fuck down-"

"Don't tell me the calm down. You're the one saying that I'm sleeping with Clyde."

"For good reason. He's clearly into you."

"He is not."

"He totally is, Auden. He wants you so bad. I bet it's why he gets me drunk all the time. So that he can make me seem bad."

"He gets you drunk."

"He gets me drunk."

"Are you drunk right now? Because you have to be to actually believe that," I said. "Clyde's the only one that's ever given you a chance. An more chances. And even more chances. Without him you'd-"

"See? You think he's some kind of, like, god or something."

"Eli, you can't be serious."

"You're my girlfriend, Auden. And he's, like always, hitting on you or whatever and it's-"

"God, Eli, one person is nice to me. One person out of the hundreds of friends you have actually likes me, actually wants me to do good for myself and it has to be because he wants to sleep with me? Seriously?"

"…Yes."

"You're so stupid." I shoved him then, frowning. "Like seriously."

"Don't push me." He shoved me then, frowning. "You're the one that-"

"Don't push me, Eli."

"I'll push you if I fucking want to push you."

I shoved him again before getting out of bed. "Whatever. I'm out of here."

He groaned. "Just lay down, Auden, and go to sleep. You make everything so dramatic."

"Fuck you, Eli."

"Whatever. The one night I don't drink and try to spend some time with you, you flip out on me! I don't know what the hell you even want me to do anymore."

"I don't either," I told him as I went to get dressed again before putting on my shoes. "I don't think this working out, Eli."

"Damn straight."

"And I'm only getting closer to giving birth," I went on, ignoring him then. "Maybe coming down here so much is a bad idea."

"Wait, what?"

Shaking my head, I moved to leave the room. "I don't know what to do anymore, Eli, other than stay away from Colby for awhile."

"You can't-"

"If you want to see me, you can come up and see me. And if you don't, then that's fine. I have Maggie, I have my brother, I have my mother. I don't need you. And I don't need this."

"Auden, knock off," he said, trying to be dismissive, but his tone betraying his inner thoughts. "Come back. I…I'm sorry, okay? Come lay down."

"No, Eli. I'm-"

"It's late and you're not leaving." He sat his plate on the bed before jumping up and coming over to me. "You hear me? It's too late for you to be out alone. Come lay down and go to sleep. I'll sleep on the fucking couch if you want, but just lay down. You're alright."

I shrugged him off when he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I hate this, Eli. This is how all our fights end."

"It's not over, baby." When I wouldn't let him touch me, he moved closer so that he was pressed against my arm, staring down at me. "It's just taking a break from the fight. We can fight tomorrow or Monday or something. Right now though, you're going to lay down and sleep. Or get on the laptop. Whatever. Just…calm down. It's not good for the baby."

"You're not good for the baby."

"Maybe not," he agreed after a moment. Kissing my neck, he said, "But he's still my baby. You get that, right? There's no more silly breakups, Aud. That baby's just as much mine as he is yours. That's just fact. We're going to be together, dating or not."

I just stood there, arms crossed, as he placed more kisses to my neck. Slowly, he wrapped his arm around me, smiling against my flesh.

"God, I love you," he breathed softly. "So much. It hurts, baby. I hurt. We both hurt. And I don't mean for us to. You know that. I just…sometimes things go wrong with what I say or do. I don't mean to hurt you so much. You know that."

"Eli…"

"Mmmm. Come lay down with me, Aud." He moved a hand to my stomach, stroking slightly. "Please."

Letting out a slow breath, I turned my head to the side to look at up him. "I am not into Clyde. And he's not into me."

"Okay." He kissed my forehead then. "Okay."

Slowly, I let him lead me back over to the bed, where he sat his food to the side before focusing in on me again.

"I love you," he whispered, slipping his hands under my shirt to rest them flat against my stomach. "And I love my baby."

"Your baby needs a name."

"I-"

"One that we both agree on."

He held my gaze for a moment. "What kind of names were you thinking about?"

"I like Jason."

"Jason."

"Or David."

"I know a David that's a dick, so no."

"Or Max."

"Max. I like Max."

"Do you?"

He kissed my nose. "I do."

"Or Chris."

"Chris. I've known a lot of people with that name."

"Me too."

He smiled at me and I knew what he was asking with it. Were we okay again? No. But we were on even ground. A level playing field.

"I love you."

Eli laughed slightly. "I love you too. And Max."

"Mmmm…now that you've said it, I don't like it."

He shifted on the bed, keeping on hand against my stomach, so that he was laying on flat on his side. "You don't?"

"No. What about Jamie?"

"I've known a Jamie. He was pretty cool."

"James."

"Yeah."

"Or," I said slowly. "We could name him Robert after-"

"Don't."

"Eli-"

"You know as well as I do that your dad does not need a bigger ego boost."

Smiling, I nodded slightly. "You're right."

"What about Luke?"

"Ew."

"Mathew?"

"No."

"Harry?"

"Surely not."

"Surely not," he mimicked, laughing slightly.

"Gary?"

"No," he told me with a slight shake of his head.

"Uh, Will?"

"Nope."

"Albert?"

"Ew."

"Hector?"

"No."

"Jackson?"

"Maybe."

"Shawn?"

"Shawn," he repeated slowly. "Yeah, maybe."

"Victor?"

He stared into my eyes. "If there's one person that needs less of a boost than your father, it's for sure your mother."

"Victor and Victoria."

"No."

"Vic."

"Yes," Eli said suddenly. Frowning, I looked up at him.

"What?"

"Yes."

"Are you-"

"See? I knew if I said yes that you'd freak out." He patted my stomach gently. "You want that name even less than me."

"Maybe," I agreed, closing my eyes. "It would forever win us a place in my mother's heart though."

"She already gives us free money," he pointed out. "What the hell else would we need?"

"A lot," I sighed as I rolled onto my side to snuggle into his side. A whole lot.