90, oh wow. Well I was thinking that maybe once I get to 100 if anyone wants me to I'll do 20 bonus drabbles of Selfshipping and Possessionshipping so tell me if you do.

81) Sanctuary- Utada Hikura (Johan)

Judai was not an arm lengths away from me, the moonlight that streamed into the room showed his delicate eyelashes fluttered slightly and his breath whispered in the quite depths of sleep. In truth I should be asleep too but I didn't want to, not when I could just lie on my side and watch him, so peaceful, so beautiful. It was in moments like these that all my fears just washed away because they truly meant nothing, at least not now.

My hand fought against my restraint to brush a strand brown hair from he face and in the end my restraint won. I loved Judai that much that I couldn't do that to him, not with the feelings I held for him because he was so untainted and I was unsure if I started could I stop. So I tried to content myself to watching him and lay facing him until my eyes could not keep open any longer and I joined him in sleep and in my dreams.

82) Move Along- The All American Rejects(Judai)

When their relationship began I always found it hard, I mean Haou-nii and Jehu were a good couple but there was one major flaw and that was Haou wasn't me. It made me feel like a horrible person that I could not be happy for my older brother and my friend except I just couldn't, not when my heart broke a little every time I saw them merely hold hands. So I tried my hardest to move along.

I was told once that the only way to get over a love was to fall in love with someone else. This was easier said than done because no one I knew could overcome the expectations that my heart made due to Jehu. Then I met Johan, I don't know why but everything clicked into place suddenly when I saw him. It was stated by some that I was only with him because he was a Jehu clone however I knew that he wasn't, he was completely different. He was sweat, strong and everything I needed. After that moment I never had to feel jealous of Haou again because he had his soul mate and I had mine.

83)Slow, Love, Slow – Nightwish (Judai)

Hundreds of years ago when art and science was just re-blooming in the world after the dark ages, I sat in front of an artist and let him draw me, unaware that he was in fact a magician. I didn't know until the last brush stroke was done and a bright golden light came out and absorbed me into the painting. So there I was stuck in a limbo, watching the world through the barrier that trapped me in, often I was hung on a wall but there were times when years would pass and I wouldn't see anything but darkness.

That was until he came. I was being sold in the boot of a car and a young gentleman with teal hair appeared. He brought me and I was placed on the room in his bedroom. There he would study me, first from a distance but eventually he grew braver and ran his fingers across my face until one day he lent in and kissed me full on the lips. The shackles that imprisoned me suddenly disappeared and I fell out on the painting onto him, our lips still connected.

Breaking apart I said, "Thank you," then lightly pecked on the lips.

Slightly dazed he held up his hand to my cheek and promptly fainted. I chuckled, still buzzed from being free; it would be interesting to see was happened next.

84) I Don't Care- Apocalyptica (Jehu)

I don't care about anything anymore. Haou made sure of that, when I first got to know him I fought every moment but I was trapped. It was his job to break people, the people who resisted his rule. Even in the beginning I knew I wasn't the only one, for he wanted to make a league of generals to follow his every command and help him take over the whole of Dark World.

Torture was a popular trick but it didn't end like that because when Haou knew that he had crumbled us down into near nothingness he began his work on reconstructing. He mixed pain with pleasure, making me, making the others completely reliant on him. I don't know how but I fell in love or at least imagined love for him and that led me to be able to do so much for him that I wouldn't have done before.

Then the resistance had to rise up and I fought them, I had even fought my brother and just as everything was about to end I wish that I still had something that I cared about. The closest thing I had was Haou.

85) The Little Things Give You Away- Linkin Park (Random student)

Even though I wasn't at all close to Judai's group and the closets thing I got to them was the fact that we shared some classes or passed in the hall it was obvious that there was something going on between him and the new kid, Johan Andersen. It was definitely the small things that gave them away; the familiar way they wrapped their arms around the others shoulders, the lingering brush of their fingers as they walked with each other and the way they'd often hold hands with the pretence of showing one another something.

I wondered if their friends had noticed but it didn't really seem like it, not when Asuka had already taken the position through rumours and it was probably sad that I did notice all those little things that gave away something more but it didn't matter because it gave me the feeling that maybe love really existed.

86) The Last Tear- Flyleaf (Johan)

There were people out there that saw tears as a sign of weakness but they were wrong, I wasn't a weak person but I had shed tears plenty of times in my life, important parts of my life. A tear came to my eye in joy when Judai confessed and we shared our first kiss, in fulfilment when Judai and I made love, making me feel more complete than I had ever had before, in anger as he left me to go on another hero mission, in regret as I waited for him wishing I had let him go with a kiss and in utter contentment as Judai wrapped his arms around me when he came back both of us sorry.

The last time I cried for him was in mourning in the following weeks after his departure, knowing that he wouldn't like to see me that was. Washington Irving said, "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love." And he was right.

87) I Don't Wanna Die – Hollywood Undead (I'm not really partial to this song but still have it…) (Haou)

Entertainment had gone back into the dark ages with people watching those who died, like gladiator fights except more dangerous. No one was forced to join them, not really but in the totalitarian dystopia that we lived in we didn't really have a choice, we were all too poor to stay staunch. I was in such a situation and in order to save my younger brothers life I joined the show that made the most money. A thousand a day for every one I survived for thirty days, if by the end I was still alive I went free, if not the money went to my brother. The longest any one had lived for was twenty days.

'Hunters,' chased me, their job made easier by the journal I was forced to send in everyday and the cameras that constantly followed me. There was one in particular that got closer than the rest, a blunette with orange eye and a permanent smirk on his face. The last day had dawned and I was near my last minutes. He was there hot on my heels. With a leap me tackled me, knife to my throat, we tousled, fighting with all we had. At some point in time I had snatched his knife and held it to his throat, claxons going off before I had done the job.

With an offered hand I helped him up, I had one the game. Once the cameras were gone, he still stayed and suddenly kissed me, I knew I should be repulsed but there was nothing in me to pull away.

88) (You Want to) Make A Memory- Bon Jovi (Johan)

When I was with Judai, everything was different, not necessarily peaceful with all of the things that happened around him but even in those times something in me was pulled to be with him no matter what was going around us, whether it be (literal) demons from his past or us just sitting in each others company and talking about everything and nothing. Even with out him realising it he was stealing a piece of time in my mind every moment he was around, details being stored in my memories to never be forgotten.

Each memory was worth as much to me as the last even though some stood out more than others. I wasn't till I had matured a bit more that I realised it was cause I had feelings for him so when I confessed and Judai kissed me I definitely kept that as a new special memory.

89)Red Sam- Flyleaf (Judai)

I didn't know why Johan put up with it, nor did I understand why no one else did anything about it. He was being hurt by someone who supposedly loved him and yet there were times I would confront him about it and he would lie and fight for his cause. That didn't matter to me because I would never give up on him. I tried to talk to his lover and yet nothing changed and I knew that until Johan was dead it probably wouldn't.

It was hard to understand how someone that was once so vibrant could turn into a mere shadow of them selves but even though that had happened I didn't stop loving him and would often condemn myself for not winning him over first. When I did finally manage to free him, his ex getting some hard time in prison for other charges, I continued to help him with making sure that he ate properly and that he was going to the counsellor for help. Even though I knew it would be a long time before he was ready to be with anyone, including me, I had already come so far so why would I stop.

90)Paid in Full- Sonata Artica (Johan)

When Judai and I ended, it was on mutual terms, both of us knew that long distant relationships didn't work and neither of us could give up our dream jobs for each other and even though it was on nice terms I couldn't help feel bitter that we couldn't have let our relationship bloom into something more like it was forcing us to do every minute we were together. We however also knew that if one was forced to give up what they wanted to do, the other, though it might not be said, would had dark feelings of regret harboured against them.

But then I came to a point, not months after our separation that I realised that maybe a job wasn't worth giving up Judai, giving up the person I loved because I did love him and after a lot of pulling of strings I had managed to gain a job with the same company (even if it wasn't quite what I wanted) in the same city as Judai. I didn't know what he'd do when he saw me, if he'd even be single. I went to his apartment anyway, my heart thudding hard against my chest and knocked on the door, my heart blossoming, after a moment of the brunette realising who I was, when he tugged me to him and kissed me with more of himself, myself than I thought possible.