Since Donald Trump has been elected president, Australia is waiting to allow gay marriage, and our fucking immigration minister has jumped on the bandwagon of "all Muslims are terrorists" and believes that allowing Muslims into Australia was a mistake (my faith in humanity has been crushed), I figured now was a better time than any to update.
Enjoy~
Tashigi had gone home hours ago; at the moment, now, cracking past dawn, Hina and Smoker were glaring each other from either side of an empty wine bottle. Their heads were slumped onto the table, ugly grey bags underneath their eyes, and lowly growling like dogs threatening each other.
The woman had wasted her night trying to regain Smoker's common sense, to realise how much he needed Ayame, and that he should crawl home on his hands and knees, begging for forgiveness. Unfortunately, the White Hunter didn't kneel down to anyone (except Izou when he'd suck him off, but Hina didn't need to know that), and so she had been here for more than ten hours, giving him a dark look when she wasn't unconsciously sleeping.
Too much alcohol and cigarettes were put to waste because of how stubborn Smoker was; he had been held back by the cuffs (Tashigi sided Hina and wanted to teach her superior a lesson, but she had to eventually admit she actually just misplaced the key), but Hina had been kind enough to light him a cigar every so often to keep him awake, although half of the reason she did so was to burn his skin when he didn't reply.
The wine bottle was half-full with ashes, smoke and squashed cigarettes, and both had killed their lungs from inhaling so much smoke in a short span of time, but it didn't stop Hina from talking.
"When the fuck are you going to admit it, Smoker," she drawled, having had more than half of the bottle to herself (the rest she poured on him or spilt over his desk), and sucking on her umpteenth cigarette of the hour. She awkwardly sat up, and pointed her cigarette at him accusingly.
Yes, the bottle had been emptied quite quickly, but the fatigue drowning both Hina and Smoker's minds was strong. She had barely slept, and when she did, it was incredibly short, less than an hour in total. Smoker had slept most of the time, aside from when she screamed in his ear, roughly prodding his shoulder with his baton, and when she knocked over his chair, and he landed on his shoulder.
Said Marine had been quiet almost all night, aside from swearing at the pink-haired witch when he was awoken, or flatly refusing to answer her questions when she was tipsy (questions like "are you secretly gay", he made sure not to give her any ideas in particular). He had a lot of time to dwell on his thoughts when he didn't have liquor in his ears, or when he didn't have to hear Hina screeching at him when he fell asleep.
Smoker never enjoyed sleeping in general; it gave him too much time to think. Not about the criminals still on the loose, or plotting Hina's metaphorical murder in his mind, but actually thinking about issues he had. His well-being, his job, the families involved in pirates' mess, and especially Izou.
Sleeping was the perfect time to make decisions, and he hated it because of that.
"Y-You really need Ayame by your side, you…idiot," she mumbled, taking another deep breath of her cigarette. Smoker didn't bother looking up at her, and Hina seemed to have finished her spiel, as she squashed her cigarette in the man's hair, mistaking it as an ash tray.
Hina yawned, getting up, and walked past Smoker (he could hear her, and she was slightly visible from his perspective), pulling away his shut curtains, and cursed, as she kept them to both sides. "Fuck you, sun, why do you have to be so bright…" She grumbled, yawning once more.
The door suddenly burst open and both superiors looked up drearily.
"Smoker-san!" Tashigi said quite quickly, in a firm salute.
"Hina-saaaaan!~" The woman's pathetic underlings, former Lieutenant Fullbody and former pirate Django, swooned over their intoxicated captain, and gave sloppy salutes, with an excited look in their faces, like children at christmas.
The pink-haired captain groaned, their high-pitched girly squeals forcing a headache upon her. "What the fuck do you two want…" She hissed, grabbing the side of the table.
Both men clearly panicked, and Tashigi was the one to explain for them. "Fleet Admiral Sakazuki is addressing all superiors, we are all to attend." Both Hina and Smoker looked at her as if she was lying, but the younger remained firm-faced.
Hina sighed tiredly. "You two, help Smoker out and get us some strong coffee. Tashigi, I'm relying on you." Fullbody and Django looked dejected that they couldn't be close to their captain, but didn't refuse her orders, and both men begun to pull Smoker up before realising his cuffs were still attached.
Tashigi laughed nervously, scratching her head. "I still couldn't find the key… Sorry, Smoker-san." The man gave her a tired glare, before being knocked back into his seat, as Fullbody pushed from the back, and Django, holding one of the chair's arms, pulled him forwards. The chair wasn't designed to be moved about much, but thankfully, their training had paid off and they were strong enough to force the chair to move.
Tashigi held some of Hina's weight, whilst both men pushed the chair out of the door; being asked by Akainu to a meeting was a great honour, good or bad. And for rookies, this was something not to be missed.
The chair slid ahead of both women, who stumbled behind them, following the lower-ranked Marines down several flights of stairs (Smoker nearly threw up on the way down, and Hina just took it easy), before parking in front of one of the cells, met by the dark glare of Admiral Akainu.
His gaze burnt into the newcomers, but he looked away to face what Smoker realised was one of the cells, by the iron-grates, which was currently occupied. "I'm glad you could join us," he said flatly, as if criticising them for their current situation and intoxicated states. "Last night, we received information on Whitebeard's 16th Commander, and we immediately took action and arrested them for questioning."
They all visibly tensed; Marine HQ had been on high alert since it was learnt of a sixteenth commander, and information about them was kept between the higher ups, and their own respective branches, none of which included Smoker, Tashigi, Fullbody or Django.
Hina, however, had some affiliation in the case (from storming in and defending Smoker's case, she automatically became part of it, having learnt some key details), and she lit herself a cigarette, looking to the Admiral for more information. "Does he match the description?"
Sakazuki clearly grimaced at that question, but answered Hina with, "Kizaru and Sentomaru have been questioning him all night; he fits the part, but he doesn't know anything. I expect you might be able to have some influence on him."
The woman saluted, and Akainu left with an irritated look, but their thoughts were cut short from the sudden voice coming from the cell.
"Owww! Saki-chan is finally gone, thank heavens for that!"
The prisoner stood up from the shadows, and perched himself on the tips of his toes, performing a pirouette. "Now I can dance, ah, such joy!~ Un, deux, trois!~ Un, deux trois!~" Sitting inside was a raven with terrible makeup, hairy legs, and ballet shoes, twirling around inside an area barely large enough for someone of his size to perform a full spin.
"And Saki-chan even left me new friends!~ Darlings, tell me your names, please, I must know what to call you!~" He chanted happily, winking to the rookies. Fullbody and Django looked sick, and Tashigi avoided his gaze to see what Hina would do in response. She, however, simply looked him over, until the man's attention was on her.
"Un, deux, trois! Darling, why do you give me such a dark look?~" He asked, tearing up. "It breaks my heart to see my friends look so serious! Liven up a bit!~"
"Your name," Hina said firmly.
"Hm?" The prisoner looked up, before appearing embarrassed. "My, my! How rude! I should have introduced myself, shouldn't I?~" He cleared his throat, and performed a pirouette once again. "You may call me Bon Kurei, darling!~ I'm a proud crossdresser from Newkama Kingdom, ow!~" Bon Kurei continued to spin in place, looking rather pleased.
"Do you know why you've been arrested?"
"Ow!~ Darling, I thought it was because I was a pirate; but not any more! I have since changed my ways, owwwww!~"
"You were a pirate? Who was your captain?" She asked, expecting something stronger to use against the okama's word.
"Captain? Darling, I was obviously the captain, uhahaha!~ My crew and I were in search of Queen Ivankov, of course!~" He said proudly.
The colour drained from Hina's face; this suspect was more annoying than she had first thought.
Smoker pulled at his cuffs annoyedly, and Bon Kurei looked over to him, ignoring Hina's further questioning. "Ow! Darling, it seems you're bound to that chair, whatever shall you do?" Crying, the okama suddenly smiled, preparing himself for something. "But never fear, my new friend!~"
He tapped his face, and his entire body changed. They had a look of shock momentarily, as he flicked through several bodies, until he had found the one he wanted (a pirate serving the Warlord Buggy, a Devil Fruit user with the power to manipulate wax, who had escaped Impel Down), and shaped himself a key, throwing it to Tashigi.
"Consider it a gift, from me to you, darling!~" He sung happily, returning to normal. "That key wouldn't unlock this cell, so you can have it for free. Owwww!~"
The swordswoman unlocked Smoker's handcuffs, and Hina paid him a quick glance. "Don't make Hina-san say it again, Smoker-san. Go." She ordered, returning to the okama who was still singing happily, waving off the Marine absorbed with thoughts of Ayame— no, Izou.
All he could think about right now was Izou, and he didn't know why.
Being a man who concealed his identity certainly had its benefits. Izou had safely returned from an abandoned port, where the Moby Dick was docked at, through back alleys usually filled with suitors and brothels, and into the heart of the red-light district with no interruptions. Marines had been patrolling the area all night, checking obvious men with makeup, or any kind of feminine clothing on, and a few crossdressers were taken in as a result of their search.
The soldiers searching the area must've been made familiar of Izou, if Smoker's tantrum was anything to go by, and he was greeted kindly by most Marines, who seemed to be envious of Smoker for such a beautiful fiancé.
However, the one person who didn't seem phased by Izou, was a lanky man in a white suit and blue shirt, leaning against a wall as if he was trying to catch some sleep. The okama recognised him immediately; Admiral Aokiji, he learnt, was perhaps the most intelligent Admiral in the Admiral trio (using Borsalino as a child and Sakazuki as a sexually tense adult who lived with his mother), and was not to be misinterpreted.
Kuzan had had his eyes shut until the crossdresser had passed, catching his line of sight. He watched Izou for a few moments, before talking to the Marine nearest to him, ignoring his salute as he strolled to Izou, cranning his neck a little to get a better look of his face.
"So you're Smoker's fiancé," he mused, seemingly bored of the topic already.
"Admiral Aokiji, it is a pleasure to finally meet you," Izou smiled softly and bowed, hearing the Marines' voices disperse into the sounds of the red-light district. "What brings you to this area?"
Said Admiral stood up properly, probably a few feet taller than Izou, and scratched the back of his head. "Arara… I was hoping to congratulate Smoker in person, but neither of you were home. So, I decided to wait for one of you to pass by."
"In a place like this?" Izou smirked a little. "You shouldn't treat yourself so poorly, Admiral, sleeping outside in such a dangerous area. Would you like to join me for some tea?"
Aokiji looked surprised at hearing the offer, but accepted, and accompanied Izou home — since it was still late, the house was empty until the two entered. The crossdresser lead him to the table, and excused himself to change into something more appropriate. Kuzan simply nodded, attempting to cross his legs without disturbing anything.
He had a quick look of the room, and commented once Izou returned, "Smoker still has cleaning up to do, it seems."
Izou blinked, and Aokiji pointed out some remains of their earlier "activities" that had been missed. It had been hidden underneath Smoker's pants; the thought that he would walk around with an obvious stain made him smile a little.
"Sorry about that," he said immediately, cleaning up the mess. Aokiji kindly disregarded it, and watched Izou start boiling a pot of tea. "Could you tell me how you met Smoker?" He asked curiously, as Izou sat down some cups.
"It's an arranged marriage; I originally came from China, but I had met his parents earlier."
"What about your parents?"
"They heard about it, but they haven't met Smoker yet — troubles at home."
"Ah… Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"I'm the eldest of my four brothers, two married and one engaged."
Aokiji seemed surprised to receive such immediate responses, more so after Izou sat down, poured them both tea, and said, "What about you, Admiral?"
The unexpected question left Aokiji watching him sip his tea, awaiting a response. Finally, he shook his head. "Not yet, no. I'm still looking."
Izou smiled warmly in return. "I'm certain there would be a woman lucky to have you, Admiral."
The man thanked her, and sipped his own tea in silence, until he finally had the courage to ask. "Ayame-san," he said her name for the first time all evening, "may I ask you for a favour?" He was surprised to see a casual smile spread upon Izou's lips, as if waiting for this to come up.
"Of course, Admiral, whatever you need~"
