Sookie

Chapter 9

Empty

Present Day, Shreveport, Louisiana

I was so confused. What was worse was this pounding headache in the back of head that wouldn't quit. I wondered if that was why I had heard voices in my head. I opened my eyes and it was as if there had been waves crashing against my mind, crashing against any and everything. I couldn't form my own thoughts much less process them.

All I knew was that it was wrong and then the face of the stranger came into view. I was scared but when he offered his hand, I took it out of sheer desperation. The second I did I was engulfed with silence. I hadn't let of him since. Now we were in his car and he was driving me home.

I was in the car with a stranger. On an instinctual level I knew such a thing was dangerous but what did that mean when everyone was a stranger, even the face in the mirror? I looked down at my hands where I had a death grip on my driver's license. It had my address, my height, and weight, but my only focus was on the name. It read, 'Stackhouse, Sookie'. The image to the left was of my smiling face. She looked happy and confident, nothing like I felt at the moment. I wanted to be her.

I felt pressure in my hand. He felt so different and there was no way to ignore it even if I wanted to, and I didn't want to. His touch was cool but that only made the contact more potent. It was like pitting roaring flames against consuming cold. Neither held sway, instead they collided leaving no room in me for anything but this new profound attachment. It was like falling and flying, similar to a magnetic pull.

I looked up to find that the car had stopped and Eric was looking down at me. "I believe this is it." He said, inclining his head to the right.

With the overhead light on, I caught the full effect of his beauty. It was symmetry done to utter perfection. His strong jaw, the aquiline nose, the set of his blue eyes, and his hair…he had beautiful hair. It was long, and lustrous, fanning down his back providing the perfect backdrop to his striking features.

How had I forgotten someone like him? How could the impact of his allure not force me to remember? Then again I had seen images of the car I had been in. The little yellow hatchback that might have been a useful clunker on its best day now looked like a crushed beer can. The place where I had gone through the windshield was clearly visible. I guess that was my answer enough to how I had known someone like Eric but had forgotten. It explained why I had forgotten everyone and almost everything.

The only reason I had lived through the crash was because of Eric. He had given me blood. He didn't donate it, he fed it to me because, get this? He's a vampire! Yes, I guess they were real and their blood healed. I wasn't sure how I felt about vampires, but he had given me blood instead of taking it. I thought of it like a transfusion. I was grateful. It saved my life. Now there was just a soft whirling noise in the back of my skull and a headache that felt like it began in my brain, which I suppose was the truth.

Eric had also been able to help me figure out that I wasn't crazy. I was a telepath. One of the loudest voices that were in my head was of two people; a man named Gerry and a woman named Donna. Their voices were laced with enough rage to start a war and enough steel to cut. He knew them well and it was how we concluded I was a telepath.

Maybe I had been that way all my life or maybe the journey through the windshield unlocked the ability. It freaked me out but he seemed impressed. He had met a telepath once. His mind was blessedly silent to mine but he was able to talk me through blotting out the avalanche of thoughts. I still refused to let him go, afraid the damn would break, and I would drown.

The only memories I had left were rudimentary. I don't know how they were rudimentary. I knew that I should look both ways before I crossed the street. I knew how to read, but I didn't know my name, my address, my parents' names, or if I even had any. Yes, I knew tons of things, but none were enough to be comforting.

Instead of thinking of things I had no hope of remembering, I tried to focus on the surroundings, hoping they might jog my memory. What I found was a thick blanket of darkness that surrounded us; feeling lost was the least of my problems. This place was isolated, save the little home that was directly ahead. The porch light was on, and I could see the pool from the backdoor from where the car was parked. The image wasn't welcoming but it wasn't frightening either. It just looked like a light fighting its way through the deepest dark.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

I was trying to sound confident but even to my own ears I sounded not only lost but terrified.

"Yes," He replied scanning the night. "I think you may have chosen it for its lack of habitation."

He was right so that meant I'd been able to read minds. Yet, I didn't have to let him go to know that there wasn't a single soul for miles if not tens of miles. If he left me here, I wondered if he would come back to visit. The thought of him not doing so set off fear that was of a different class. It wasn't crippling, it was consuming, a slow and steady pain. He was the only person I knew. I was going to be left in a place far away from another soul. My heart rate spiked into a jack hammering pattern at the thought. I could fight to keep people's thoughts from my mind but I couldn't fight this.

The hold he had on my hand moved to my face and I leaned into it. "It's okay," He told me. "You're okay."

"No it isn't," I argued. This was so far from okay that even if 'Okay' bit me in the ass I wouldn't know it.

"Yes, it is."

I shook my head, "Not even a little."

"Are you calling me a liar?" He asked, his tone firm.

I didn't even think about it, "Of the worst sort."

Those lips of his hitched into a smile that took him from beautiful to dazzling. It made me want to smile and I was sure that if I was in a less-panicked state of mind I would have. His expression did bring my panic down several notches.

"Being home surrounded by familiar things might help," He said.

"You help," I pointed out to Eric. "Can I stay with you instead?"

I didn't think of the depths of my relationship with him before asking. His voice had stood out through the myriad of thoughts. It reached me, grounded me, even as it frightened me. No, I didn't remember but he had still felt familiar. I wouldn't have thought there was a difference but there was none.

Nothing made sense but with his hand in mine I didn't feel so at sea, I didn't feel lost or alone. I guess I was wrong. He looked caught entirely off guard and a little put off by the request. I had just assumed we were close, close enough to crash on his couch for a few nights. It felt like we were more than friends, then again he didn't seem that upset that I didn't remember him.

"You would be comfortable with that?" He asked.

I shot the house and the darkness one more look before returning my eyes to his. My thoughts scattered. Initially I wanted to tell him that his hair framed his face like a halo. I wanted to say I knew he would keep me safe. For some reason I told him a different kind of truth.

"You're the only person I know."

He nodded and opened his door. Before I could reach for mine or miss the sturdy cool of his hand he was already holding my door open. My fingers locked with his as he helped me out of the car. The pang of rejection I felt had been worth it. As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I saw nothing but trees. Their weeping branched intertwined, cocooning the path below in pitch darkness.

"What's over there?" I asked, pointing. I tilted my head closer and something seeped into my mind. It was another void, a quiet like Eric's but without the calm. This was a black hole.

He didn't even look in the direction I was pointing as he replied. "A cemetery, and at the other end is Bon Temps sole resident vampire, Bill Compton."

We walked to the front door as thoughts of my vampire neighbor entered my mind. I didn't remember him but I wondered how much he knew about me. I also wondered if he bit. It was a silly question of course he did. Why did he frighten me more than the vampire gliding soundlessly beside me? Surely he had fangs and was just as vampiric as your average undead. Yet, nothing about Eric unsettled me, except his devastating good looks.

Entering the premises took some doing as I had no keys on my person. Of course I couldn't remember if I had a spare around. In the end, I invited Eric in and he forced the door open by crunching the door knob in his hand.

We maneuvered through the house with me at his back. While it was my house, I wasn't the one with night vision and super human faculties. The back door led into a kitchen that looked quaint and well used. It was tidy and homey. I opened the fridge and it was stocked with food. There was milk, eggs, and cheese. I stared at everything and found that I didn't know what my favorite was. Then there were other things like juice, yogurt and even leftovers. There was also a six pack of…

"Is that blood?" I asked. "In a bottle"

I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Eric nodded and led us away.

When Eric moved to the next room I followed, promising myself I would return because I was hungry. It turned out he wasn't any more familiar with the layout of the house than I was. After the kitchen we wondered into in a bed room. It was small and the drawers were bare. It must be a guest room or maybe Eric was wrong. That was a more appealing thought.

Maybe there was a great big house with an even bigger family looking for me. That fantasy was squashed when we entered the next room. I did live here. This bedroom was mine. I wasn't sure but it was just so feminine that I identified with it. There was also a pair of grey sweats and a t-shirt lying over the neatly made bed. They looked like they would fit, at least better than the loaners Eric had given me.

It was my hope that with every corner we turned thereafter, something would jump out at me and my memory would come back. After fifteen minutes of tiptoeing around the house from top to bottom, nothing happened.

"I need to work," Eric said.

I didn't have to be told twice because I didn't want to be here. If the fact that alone wasn't a big enough deterrent, there was the vampire and the handy cemetery that separated us. I couldn't refute the proof that I lived here, alone. I just wished I knew what in holy hell had provoked me to do such a thing.

"I'll grab some things," I half way out the door when the thought struck; his hand wasn't in mine. Not only was I no longer physically unattached to him, walking out of the room meant he would be out of my sight for the first time since I'd awakened. It took everything I had not to throw myself at him again. I forced myself to show some dignity.

The silence of my mind turned to a soft whirling hum. The minds were there just outside the barrier. It was similar to using an umbrella in the rain. It didn't make the rain stop, but it kept me dry. It took effort and increased the pain in my head, but I could do it.

"You're not going to leave without me?" I asked, hesitating.

His head tilted to the side, "Are you always this clingy?"

I thought about it. The only answer I could come up with after a reflective second was a shrug.

"Right," He replied.

He made a grand gesture of taking a seat on the gently worn sofa against the wall. In his all black attire he took the country and homey appearance of the house and redefined it. He folded his long legs under at the knee and proceeded to imitate a statue. Awed by the sight, my mind went blank, and not amnesia empty…I was rather overwhelmed by his splendor. Suddenly I was very conscious of the fact that I was drowning in his clothes. I also looked like I'd been hit by a truck which in my defense was true. His eyes came found mine and one of his perfectly arched brows rose in question.

Right, stupid. "I'll be right back," I said, rushing out of the room. It was more out of a desire to save any modicum of dignity I had left than feeling secure enough to venture anywhere without him.

Not too long after, we were back in Eric's car. The driver's license was now in the pocket of my borrowed sweat shirt. My thumb ran over the glossy surface and it centered me now that I was refusing to cling to Eric's hand. Oh, the urge to reach out and touch him was just right there, but something was different. I looked at the house in the side mirror. I wanted to wonder about all the things that I might not remember that I was forgetting. I wanted to worry that I would have to come back soon, with or without my memory. For now, all I felt was relief as the secluded home and its vampire neighbor faded into the dark.