Kara drove aimlessly for a bit trying to process everything that had happened over the past couple of days and all the feelings that went with it. She was always so much happier when the feelings were buried, but they kept popping into the forefront of her mind, and she couldn't make them go away. Eventually, she found herself parked outside of her dormitory. She entered her room, which thankfully was a single, and tossed her keys and bag on her desk. She took a deep, hopefully relaxing breath, and threw herself across the bed.
Being a Sunday, the whole building was eerily quiet. People were either home for the weekend, or sleeping off the parties from the previous nights. Kara wasn't really the partying type. She never felt as comfortable at them as Rachel did, and tended to fade into the background. Perhaps that explains why Rachel had found more trouble than she had last night. She sat up and grabbed her phone to call Rachel, and when it went to voicemail, she hung up. A few seconds later, a text beeped in saying she was still at the hospital and would call her when she was up to it. Tears started down Kara's face at reading this. She almost lost her best friend last night, and right now she felt like she was about to lose her again. She had no idea how to be a comfort to her friend in this situation.
Still holding her phone, Kara started call her father again. She was hurt that she hadn't heard from him in so long, especially since he must have received the missed call from her the other day. Her fingers stopped themselves before allowing the call to connect, and she flung the phone onto her bed. He could call her. She could wait him out. She fell back onto her pillow and closed her eyes in hopes of escaping all of her problems. But the gun was still there, staring her in the face, only now it was accompanied by the snake voice. She could not escape it and sat bolt upright.
In further attempt at distracting herself from her problems, Kara walked to her desk and began rummaging through her papers and school work. She had classes tomorrow and had not looked at any of it in days. There was reading that needed to be done for her English class tomorrow, and a paper for Psychology due in three days. Organizing her work, she came upon her Criminology text. She had forgotten all about it. But now she remembered. She remembered the yelling boy who she recognized from this class. She remembered him telling the snake that her parents were in the FBI and he should leave her alone. How did he know that? She had never mentioned it in class, but he knew. He must have been trying to save her. What had happened to him? Oh, God, she thought, what had happened to him?
The panic attack gave no warning this time. There was no creeping warmth or slowed breathing. There was only heat and no air. She had read about the three human responses to fear: freeze, fight, or flight, for one of her classes, probably the Psychology, and her brain chose flight. She worked on autopilot, packing all of her school books into her backpack, and grabbing the large duffle bag from under her bed. She threw clothes, shoes, make-up, her favorite stuffed cat from when she was little, and a picture of her with her siblings into the bag. With one last glance around the room for anything of import that she may have forgotten, she left.
She prayed all the way home. She prayed that she wouldn't get into a horrific accident due to the excessive speed at which she was driving. She prayed that she wouldn't get pulled over by the police, again, for the excessive speed. And she prayed that David would be there when she arrived. He was the only one who could help her now.
After having made the trip in record time, Kara burst through the front door and immediately called his name, while racing for the kitchen where she figured he would be. She found her mother instead, "Kara, what's wrong?" From her mother's expression, she must have looked as awful as she felt.
"Where's Dave?"
"I'm here, sweetheart. What's wrong?" he had heard her the instant she walked in the house from the back deck where he had been grilling dinner and enjoying a cigar.
Kara ran to him, "Thank God you're here," she said, but then no further words could get out as it was difficult to just take in air.
Like before, her put both hands on her face and spoke quietly, yet insistently, for her to slow her breathing. She tried to shake her head at him, but the force of his hands wouldn't allow it. "Take it easy, Kara, it's just a panic attack. Just like before. Focus on me and breath slowly."
"No," she sputtered out, " it's not like before."
"It is. It seems worse, but it's still just a panic attack and it's almost over. Breathe with me." They breathed together for a few moments, which felt like a lifetime to Kara, and then she collapsed onto him. With her final big intake of air, she took comfort from the cigar essence he was emitting, and started to relax. Quickly coming to her senses, she pulled back a bit.
"I have to talk to you."
"OK, well, I'm right here. So let's talk. Come out onto the deck before dinner burns."
Erin came up behind her daughter, put her arm around her, and kissed the top of her head. She felt powerless when Kara had the panic attacks and made a mental note to research them more so she could help when David wasn't around.
Erin guided Kara to the deck, and they arrived while Dave was flipping the last of the steaks. He lowered the heat and joined his wife and stepdaughter at the table, taking the seat adjacent to Kara. Unsure of where this conversation would be heading, he wanted to remain close. After all, she was developing a penchant for running when things became difficult.
"What's on your mind, Kara?" he asked.
"There was a boy there last night," she felt her mother holding her hand and it helped to ground her.
"There were a few boys there last night. Who do you mean? T? The one who had you?"
he asked.
"No," her eyes narrowed on him, "that was T? From the party the other night?"
His head tilted slightly, "Yes, sweetheart. You didn't know that?"
"All I saw was the gun," she felt her mother squeeze her hand and was sorry that she had to go through this. "But, no, there was another boy. He was yelling before you got there. I know him from one of my classes. I think he may have been trying to help me."
"Kara," her mother said, "none of this information was in the statement you gave."
She turned to face her mother, "I gave a statement?"
Erin shared a panicked look with Dave before looking back at her daughter, "Yes, honey, you gave a statement to an officer when you arrived at the emergency room. You don't remember that?"
"No," her voice faltered.
"You were probably still in shock. You didn't give very clear details as to what happened."
"It is still kind of a blur."
"It's ok," David said, "it will come back to you. Now what is it about this boy?"
"Was he killed?"
He reached out and put a hand on her knee. "The only one who was shot was T who had the gun on you. He was very high on LSD, and after you got away, he came at my team. No one else was hurt. The other boys were charged with various crimes, probably processed and released. There was another girl besides Rachel who was brought to the hospital."
"Do you think I am safe?"
"I know you are," he said.
"Is there someone following me?" Sometime her parents had felt it necessary to have a professional watch her and her siblings. It was usually something they were all completely unaware of, until after the fact. The idea did not usually appeal to Kara, but right now, with her feeling so jumpy, she would welcome the notion.
"Someone is close. There is nothing for you to worry about." When no further response came from Kara, he added, "Are you good for now?" She nodded her head and he jumped up, "Good, I have to get my steaks before they dry out. Can you help your mother get stuff from the kitchen?"
Without another word, Erin and Kara moved about the kitchen gathering the things they needed and returned to the deck to set them out. As they were all getting ready to sit, Kara spoke, "Mom," her mother looked up at her, "I'm sorry that I walked out on you earlier. I know that's not how we usually do things."
A smile spread across Erin's lips, "Thank you, sweetie," and she gave her a kiss. "We will talk more after dinner."
"Oh, nobody is leaving this table until we talk," Dave said, "but right now my steaks are waiting so let's eat!"
