9

The following Wednesday Leonard entered Stuart's comic shop and approached Howard and Raj.

"Where's Sheldon?" asked Raj.

"I don't know. I told him I was coming over here for New Comic Book Day and he said he had made other transportation arrangements. I assume he's getting a ride from Amy."

"So what's going on with those two since the Penny/Amy blowup?"

"Well, I know that Sheldon hasn't stopped going over to Penny's. And I know that Amy isn't happy about that."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I told Amy that Sheldon's been going over there. Just like I told Penny's dad about that dyke she's been hanging out with."

"Have you seen her?"

"Penny?"

"No, the girl who's staying with her. I think her name is Nora."

"Nope. I haven't seen her around at all. But then again I've been kind of staying away from Penny."

"From what I heard from Bernadette that's not exactly your choice."

"Well, it is. I'm just going to give her some time. I'm sure everything will work out and we'll be back together in no time."

"What about that acting job on Masters of Sex?"

"That's the other thing I spoke to her dad about. I figure I'll let him stop her from doing it. That way I come out of it clean and when she doesn't have a job she'll need to borrow money from me or go back to The Cheesecake Factory. I know they want her back. Everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be. You'll see."

"I don't know, dude. That's not a very nice thing to do to Penny."

"Hey, I've been dating her for a while. I think I know what's best for her. She just needs to get this acting thing out of her system."

"Holy Frack!"

All three men turned around to see Sheldon Cooper walk in holding hands with a beautiful woman that none of them had ever seen before.

When Penny told Sheldon that in order for their plan to work there would need to be touching, and touching in public at that, Sheldon had become nervous. While he had grown to accept Penny touching him, he had done that because he understood that touching people was part of who Penny was. It was a completely unconscious thing for her. After time he knew that asking Penny to not touch him would be like asking her to not be Penny. That, and he kind of liked it. Penny's touches were warm, and comforting and natural. And not at all like Amy Farrah Fowler's touches. Amy touched him like she was following an instruction manual with numbered steps. It just didn't feel right. It felt unnatural, like she was doing it because someone had told her she was supposed to. The more time Sheldon spent with Nora the more he came to realize how much like Penny she was in this regard. While not exactly like Penny's touches, Nora's were reassuring and comfortable and, yes, very natural. When she suggested to him that walking into the comic shop holding hands would create the impression they wished to create he found himself agreeing with her and even enjoying it.

"Who the frack is that and I wonder if Amy knows about it?" Howard asked.

Then Howard looked at Raj and they both looked at Leonard and they both immediately knew that Leonard would tell Amy just as soon as he could.

They watched as Sheldon introduced the woman to Stuart at the counter. However, being that it was New Comic Book Day, the store was unusually noisy and they couldn't hear what was being said.

"Hello, Stuart. This is my friend Nora and she'll be doing her comic book shopping here for the foreseeable future."

"Okay. So are you new to this or are you interested in something in particular. And blink twice if you're here against your will."

"Well, I'm looking for a couple of things. The second issue of Sandman: Overture and Absolute Sandman Volume 3."

"Ah, a Neil Gaiman fan. Well, unfortunately Sandman Overture #2 won't be out until February but I'll definitely hold a copy for you. And I'm going to need to order Absolute Sandman Volume 3 for you. I just sold it the other day and I really don't keep more than one copy in stock at a time. But as a friend of Sheldon's I can offer you the 30% friends and family discount. And please feel free to look around. We have lots of other Neil Gaiman stuff."

"Oh, I'm not just a Gaiman fan. I like lots of stuff. Those were just the two things at the top of my list. Do you do pull lists?"

"Sure. Just stop by on your way out or you can do it online. I'm sure Sheldon can help you out."

"Thanks, Stuart."

Even though they couldn't hear it, Howard, Raj and Leonard watched with their mouths agape.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to find out who she is."

As Leonard marched over to the counter his two friends looked on, disgusted.

"Oh crap. It looks like Leonard's penis is leading him around again. And not five minutes after he assured us he and Penny would be getting together."

"Well, Leonard's nothing if not predictable. Hey, if we're lucky we'll get to watch him get shot down."

Leonard approached Sheldon and Nora with a big smile and his eyebrows arched.

"Hey buddy. Want to catch me up and introduce me to your friend."

"Alright. This is my roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."

"And you are…"

"I'm sorry but I was under the impression that you prefer introductions to women be handled via YouTube clips of them taking a shower."

"Excuse me?"

"I know who you are, Leonard. And to be honest, I have no desire to know you at all. I certainly don't wish to shake your hand. And if you think that you're going to end up in bed with me I think you need to go visit a therapist to deal with your delusions of adequacy."

Sheldon had to think quickly. What would the correct action on his part be? He decided. He leaned over and gave Nora a peck on the cheek. Nora smiled.

"Thank you, Moonpie."

"Only my MeeMaw can call me Moonpie. But in this instance you are forgiven. Let's look around. I believe there's a new issue of The Flash this week. Did you hear that they are finally introducing Wally West into the New 52 continuity."

"I read that online."

Ignoring Leonard, who just stood there shaking, Sheldon and Nora started wandering around the store. When they reached Howard and Raj they stopped.

"Lady, I don't know who you are but I swear I just saw Leonard Hofstadter's dick shrivel up into nothing."

"Howard, that was quite crude. Accurate, but crude. I'd like you to meet Nora Glass. She is a friend of Penny's who will be staying with her for a time. Nora these are my friends Howard Wolowitz, engineer and astronaut and Rajesh Koothrapali, astrophysicist."

"I'm pleased to meet you guys."

"Wait, this is the bull dyke that Amy's been going on about?"

"Howard, I don't like that term. I don't like labels of any kind. But since we just met I'll give you a pass."

"Nora, I apologize profusely. It's just that we were led to believe that you were an entirely different person."

"I'm not surprised. Your friend Amy took an almost immediate dislike to me. I believe she has a problem with my relationship with Penny."

"Are you having a relationship with Penny? Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Penny and I are friends. And I think that Penny's in a place where she really needs her friends and their support and I intend to be there for her and give her my unwavering support. When I pointed out to Amy that she wasn't doing that she took exception. So I guess she started talking some smack about me. As you can see, I'm not a monster. I like comic books just like you guys. I hope we can be friends."

"Well, I believe that I can speak for both Howard and myself in saying that we certainly don't want to get on your bad side. What you just did to Leonard was classic. Just classic."

"Thank you. He hurt and embarrassed Penny and deserves a great deal more than a public dressing down. But honestly, he just isn't worth the effort."

"Um guys, don't look, but Leonard just took out his phone and he's taking pictures of us."

"Ah, if Leonard follows his typical pattern he will be sending them to Amy Farrah Fowler and following that with a phone call to her. I believe that I am now to assume that I am in trouble with my girlfriend."

"Sheldon, how can I put this? You're acting a bit strange, even for you."

"I think that may be my influence, guys. I'm trying to bring fun Sheldon out to play. His girlfriend doesn't seem to like fun Sheldon, the one that loves comic books and Star Trek and Star Wars."

"We kind like that Sheldon too."

"I prefer that you not speak of me as though I'm not here."

"So Nora, can we assume that you'll be joining us for meals and such like Penny."

"Yeah. I don't think so. I have a job as a bartender so I work a lot of nights. And besides, I really don't want to interact with the homunculus or Amy any more than I absolutely have to. The same goes for Penny. But you guys are welcome to come over to our place. I know it's a bit small but we moved my couch in and I have a 50" TV and a couple of game consoles."

"So you're planning to be around for a while?"

"Yeah. Since Penny quit her job money's tight and I think having a roommate is gonna help her out. Besides, we really do like living together and having Sheldon nearby is just gravy."

"Um, please forgive my curiosity, but what the frak is going on with you two? I mean, you walked in holding hands and he frakkin' kissed you. He doesn't even kiss his girlfriend without extensive negotiations and signed contracts."

"Sheldon and I have quickly become very good friends. That's all. I like to think I'm helping him get in touch with his inner Sheldon."

"Now if you two are finished reviewing my life and private feelings, I have a new issue of The Flash to purchase and peruse. Shall we go, Nora?"

"Just let me grab the latest issues of Fables and Fairest and The Fox and we can get going. Okay?"

"Okay. If you fellows are interested we'll be playing Halo at Penny's in a while. We'll probably be having pizza. You're welcome to join us. Leonard, however, is not welcome."

"But, Sheldon. It's not Pizza Night."

"What's life without a bit of whimsy? Please call if you'll be coming so we can order enough pizza. Bye."

After Nora found the comics she was looking for they proceeded to the counter, paid and then left.

Howard turned to Raj.

"Y'know what? I like the new Sheldon. And I like Nora too."

"Me, too. But I have a feeling this isn't going to make a couple of other people very happy."

As if on cue Leonard came over.

"What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who was that woman with Sheldon?"

"You mean the one who turned your somozas into tiny little raisins?"

"She did nothing of the kind. She just caught me off guard. Who was she? And why was she all over Sheldon?"

"That was Penny's new roommate, Nora."

"That was Nora? And she's not Penny's roommate. She's just staying there for a couple of days."

"I don't think so dude. She told us she moved her stuff in and she's splitting rent and everything."

"What do you mean everything?"

"Well, apparently Sheldon."

"No, Sheldon would never cheat on Amy. That would violate his stupid contract."

"Well, apparently Sheldon doesn't think so and he's the one who wrote the stupid contract."

"Well, I suspect that Amy will put an end to it just as soon as she finds out."

"And she's going to find out because you're going to tell her and send her the photos you took, right?"

"Well, yes. That's what friends do."

"I don't know, dude. It seems like a pretty lame thing to do. Sheldon looks pretty happy. And Nora is really nice."

"Well that Nora is ruining Sheldon's relationship with Amy and my relationship with Penny and I'm going to do something about it. In the meantime, are you ready to head over to my place for Halo Night?"

Raj and Howard looked at each other.

"Sorry, dude. No can do. Something came up. See ya."

Raj and Howard quickly paid for their comics and rushed out the door.

"You know he's going to figure out where we went."

"I know but you know what? I don't care. He's being an ass and I want to be on the right side when he gets what's coming to him."

"Yeah. Me too. So I'll see you over at Penny's?"

"Probably. I need to convince Bernie that it's the right thing to do. I'm not sure that's going to be very easy. She's gotten really tight with Amy and she's always thought that Penny and Leonard belong together."

"I get it. You should remind her about how Leonard acted toward Penny when he was with my sister. And showing that YouTube clip to strangers was really pretty lame. It's something the old you would have done."

"It's something the old me did do and I really regret it. It's bad enough that it's out there. Leonard using it as a way to introduce people to his girlfriend is really weak. Penny really doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm glad I was able to hack into it and make it a lot harder to find."

Later that evening in Apartment 4A

"Leonard, where is everyone? I was given to believe that Halo Night is a regular group activity. It's a stupid activity but I'm willing to allow Sheldon to participate for the time being."

"Howard and Raj said that something came up. I suspect that Sheldon may be over at Penny's."

"With that bitch."

"You mean Nora, right"

"Of course. Even though Penny and I are currently having a problem I expect it will be resolved just as soon as that Nora is out of our lives."

"The guys said that she's actually moved in. That she's not just staying for a couple of days."

"I think that their information must be incorrect. I'm still certain that if Penny were to make a permanent change in her living paradigm she would come to me first."

"I'm going over there. I want Penny to tell me what's going on."

"Alright. I will accompany you."

As they walked out into the hallway they heard laughter coming from Apartment 4B. Leonard knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again. No answer. Knowing that Penny usually left her door unlocked he tried the doorknob. The door was locked. He decide that they couldn't hear his knocking so he banged on the door. Penny opened it.

"What?"

"We heard you from across the hall and we thought we'd join you."

"You're not invited, Leonard. Neither is Amy."

"C'mon, Penny. We're all friends."

"No, Leonard. We're not. Not anymore."

"Well, my boyfriend is over here and I demand that I be able to join him."

Penny turned around.

"Sheldon, Amy says I should let her in because you're here."

"Penny, it's your apartment. I believe that means that you decide who comes and goes."

"You heard what he said, Amy."

"Sheldon Lee Cooper. I demand that you leave Penny's apartment right now."

Sheldon paused the game and came to the door.

"Excuse me Amy but we had no formal plans to socialize this evening. However, Penny and Nora invited me over and I accepted their kind invitation. For me to leave at this juncture would be rude and I will not do it."

"But, Sheldon, I'm your girlfriend. You should spend time with me, not her and her girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, Amy Farrah Fowler, but my actions are perfectly in keeping with our relationship agreement. Your desire to spend time with me does not supercede my previously established plans. You should have consulted my posted iCal Calendar if you wished to make plans. Now are we done, because Penny and I are about to completely annihilate Nora and Raj."

"I'm very upset, Sheldon."

"If you wish, you may file a formal complaint. You will find the appropriate form in Appedix N in our Relationship Agreement."

"Penny, I don't understand. I get that we're going through a rough patch but…"

"Leonard, I don't know how many different ways I can say this. You violated our relationship and our friendship. You aren't welcome in my apartment or my life. If you continue disrespecting my wishes I'll have to consider consulting with an attorney or the police because it's starting to feel like harassment. And don't you ever, ever call my parents again. I don't think you want to know what my father said he'd do to you if he ever saw you again but I can tell you it's something you would never recover from."

"And Amy, I respect that you are in a relationship with Sheldon. But Sheldon and I were good friends a long time before you came on the scene and we'll be good friends a long time after you're gone. If he wants to spend time with me he will. If he wants to spend time with Nora he will. He is a grown man and he knows his own mind. My advice is that you stop treating him like a child that you are potty training. Sheldon Cooper is not one of your fucking monkeys."

"Now go away before you ruin any more of our evening."

Then Penny slammed the door in their faces. When she heard the door to 4A close behind them she collapsed, crying into Sheldon's arms.

"There, there, Penny. I'm proud of you. Everything you said needed to be said and I thank you for defending me."

"I'm sorry I got so upset."

"Sweetie, they know how to push your buttons. Those two have been playing you for a long time. You aren't going to be able to get past it overnight. You did real good."

"Penny, we're all on your side. Sheldon's too. And hopefully Howard will be able to convince Bernadette that you and Leonard are just wrong for each other. I know that I'd prefer that we all be friends like we used to be but it's become very clear that Leonard and Amy do not know anything about what a real loving relationship should be like. You both deserve partners who allow you to be yourselves and help you grow, not people who want to change you into their vision of a boyfriend and girlfriend. Besides, I think I kind of like the dynamic when I'm not the only single person in the group. It was getting pretty lonely."

"Raj, I'll be honest, I don't think I ever felt lonelier than while I was in a relationship with Leonard. Being in a relationship only makes sense if you're in one with the right person. Leonard wasn't the right person for me. I just couldn't see it for a long time. I'm actually glad I found out about the stupid film clip. If I didn't I might still be with him."

"You guys may not know this, but this afternoon at the comic book shop I'm pretty sure he thought he had a chance with Nora."

"Raj, I saw the look in his eyes. And Penny told me about his eyebrow thing, his puppy dog "come fuck me" look. Leonard thinks he's a player. He so deserves to be taught a lesson. But we have our priorities. Let's keep our eye on the ball. And I wouldn't be surprised if Leonard and Amy are across the hall plotting right now. I suspect that they'll be ganging up on us individually next because they obviously can't handle us when we're together."