Noodle:
Sorry for the delay, It's not my fault, well it is but I blame
Chibi.
Chibi: Say whaaaa! I refuse to carry YOUR blame, noodle!
(bashes noodle's poorly arm kung fu stylee) MUAHAHAHAHA... etc..
Also, I sent the draft of this to Noodle like, a week ago. Nyar! I
made muffins too... :)
Tsunade's Answer phone
I'm not here. Leave a message if you're from MY village. If you're one of those people that own various places where gambling is involved, Tsunade isn't here she's err...dead. Yes, that's right dead, she got beaten to death with a...napkin. Beaten to death with a napkin that's right and a...carriage clock. Wow I could write a detective story about that and get loads of dosh. To answer your question already, NO- Jiraiya I do NOT want to star in your latest book or movie, suggest it again and I'll kill you.
#1 We are the ramen company, we are outside the gates with 16 tonnes of ramen, ordered anonymously form this village... Open the gates please, and who is the old witch that will pay? We are waiting old witch...
#2 Hokage, this is the Kazekage. I'm calling to talk business like a grown-up Kazekage "FOR ONCE!" Now, now Temari, that was uncalled for. (sniff) Now, about our alliance, perhaps it could include you supplying me with your students underwear... Cake too. Kankuro I'm not getting fat! You're the fat one! FATTY, FATTY. In return for the knickers I would happily give you my brother as a slave.
#3 TSUNADE! We know you're not dead! Your face is on a bloody mountain for fuck's sake! Anyhow you owe us money! Your debts are bigger than your boobs! (now that's saying something!) If you don't pay us then we will start repossessing stuff! Starting with your SAKE!
#4 Tsunade-sama, it's Sakura.. I think somebody is watching me. I'M NOT INSANE. I'm very close to having only one mind. Wait I can see that pervert now, his baldy eyebrowless forehead is reflecting the sun... Just to let you know your alliance with sand might end tomorrow.
#5 I am binky-boo the dinosaur chicken, I live in a town called...foodtown...full of crispy dinosaurs, but there's only one chicken! Can YOU find the ONLY CHICKEN IN THE JUNGLE. "Orochi-hime, don't play with your food or else you won't get any pudding!" Yes mammy...
#6 Ich habe fussball gespielt. Ich habe buch gelesen! KABUTO! MEIN BEIN TUT WEH, MEINE PO TUT WEH. "Orochi-hime, I can't understand you..."
#7 OI! This is your sucsessor! I demand you send ANBU to retrieve my sleepy hat! Or else I will... do...something... bad!
#8 Tsunade-sama! Tonton has been reposessed! I don't have anything to huggle no more... Well I tried it with Ino, she's the closest thing to a pig I could find. She wasn't very happy though, she ran away shouting FIRE!
#9 Great "Big busted" Tsunade of Konoha "Smells" . This is the Happy Smiles Organisation, we are planning a trip to a water park for "gay" happy children. We would like to take Uzumaki "bums" Naruto on this trip, so please could you tell him to meet us by the gates at 6.30 am on Friday. Thank you "Fat bitch" Kisameeee you're ruining my call! I'll get Itachi to buy a tiger that'll try and eat you out of your goldfish bowl bed. MUAHAHAHA me so evil...
#10: Tsunade this is your fellow sannin Jiraiya! The better one. DON'T HURT ME! You just hate me cos frogs are better! Slugs are stooopid they're only good for stuffing up your bra! Don't send Naruto on me! Well apart from that I'm ringing to see if you will 'lend' some characteristics for my new novel. Not that this new character will be anything like the other one, Tunude.
#11:
I'm ringing to complain. About that crappy team you assigned me to!
First I will bitch about Sai, he was obsessed about Naruto's penis,
he was placed in the team by somebody who hates you, is there a
chance of him trying to betray us? IDIOT! Then there is Sakura, who
falls and passes out alot, but then she's scary... you-style... Then
Naruto's...just a bit of a knobhead really. Yes, I've got a will, no
worries.
#12: BITCH! THIS IS THE MAIN HOUSE! HOW DARE YOU CANCEL
OUR FIGHT, WE WILL NOT ALLOW IT! THE FIGHT WILL GO
ON!
#13 BROOOMS!
#14:
You can't cancel our fight! The branch house was sure to win this
time! Neji got us extra brooms! I'm not crying my eyes are just
swimming, I'm on the phone go play with your hair or something!
Please Tsunade we'll give you... a... a hoover! Wait that gives me
an idea! Ohhh, Neee-eejiiiiii...
#15: Thank y-you for
c-c-cancelling the fight, h-h-hokage sama... I... I'm.. so re- re-
relieved...
#16: HOKAGE-SAMA! I demand you wage war on the village of sand for the henious crime of eyebrow removal! My poor little Lee is still not recovered! The marker pen eyebrows came off in the bath! Now he has to wear a HAT, and it hides his beautiful hair!
Noodle:
I had to type this one handed I feel like a chicken...
Chibi:
Haha chicken girl... GASP! The chickens are coming... o.o
