Author's Note: Hello everyone and welcome to chapter 9! Um, I haven't exactly put my timeline right, so now I realise I'm missing things, like Seth, Leah and Quil Jr.'s first bonfire, and their tattoos, and Harry's funeral, and the haircuts haha wow I've messed this up so bad, but dnt worry, it wont affect the story much, I just have to catch it all up, so I guess you guys are lucky :DD I guess I have to add a lot more chapters than what I was planning to have, see originally, I was only going to have about fifteen chapters, now you're looking at about twenty :DD Silly me, well I guess it isnt all bad :DD

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Chapter 9 - Hope or Hopeless?
Emily's POV

The young girl was laid out on my kitchen table. Sam, Jared, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Leah and Seth were around the outside of the room. Carlisle Cullen was inspecting the girl. She's been bitten, and each of us had sworn to never tell a soul. No one, not even the council was to know, just the Pack and me. Even Carlisle promised to try and keep this secret from Edward, the mind-reader.

When Jacob brought her, we all expected her wake up a blood thirsty vampire. But when Sam called the Leech, he said that he'd come have a look at her. No sign of her waking. He heart stopped days ago, and apparently, once the heart stops, she's supposed to awaken a vampire. But for some reason, she hasn't turned. She died human.

But that still leaves the question.

Who is she?

-0o0-

Leah hadn't stayed. Once the Leech had finished with his check, she bolted from the room, I tried going after her, like at every meeting, every gathering lunch, every time I see her, but there was no hope of catching her, and, also, Sam stopped me. He must know what she's gone through, with the Pack telepathy and all. I was surprised to when she had phased. My best friend, my favourite cousin just exploded into a giant wolf, right in front of me.

"Em?" Sam's beautiful face was creased with worry. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I wave him off, his concern immediately relaxed, but not completely. "I'm fine, really, I'm fine."

could tell he didn't believe me, but he let it go. The reality was that I was worried, and very annoyed, when Leah phased, I hoped then I'd be able to fix whatever was broken in between us. I had hoped on baking her favourites, letting her know I was here, trying so hard to talk to her. I really just wanted my best friend back.

Maybe Rachel can help. She's the closest - beside her family - to Leah. Rachel can talk to her. Talk some sense into her. I'm her cousin, in a way, I'm all she's got.

Rachel has gone back to university. Like Leah would've if she didn't phase. And if she didn't phase, Harry wouldn't have had his heart attack, so, in a way, its all her fault. She did this to my family - our family. But I still feel guilty. Guilty more than I can handle.

Why did she have to hate us so much? It doesn't matter that her ex imprinted on me and broke up with her. I don't get what all the fuss is about. Its love. There's nothing wrong with love. It's romantic and sweet, and loving Sam is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I don't care that I paid the price of the scars on my face, they were worth this love. This soul mate. I really don't understand why Leah is so …. Bitchy about this. Its love, Leah. I want to tell her. Enjoy it with you live, but I'm sure you wont understand love. Not like this. Just wait until the one comes to you, Leah, then you'll like me again, I'm sure of it. I hope, anyway.

-0o0-

Carlisle had us sitting in the lounge, I was sitting on Sam's lap on our chair. Jared sat at the end of the couch he was pressed right up against the armrest that must be digging into his huge muscle lined thigh, all in attempt to get away from us. His face was only wearing disgust, but nothing I never seen. But Sam, as always, tells him to grow up.

"Let's get this over with, Carlisle," Sam ordered the pale, gorgeous man.

"Of course, Sam," the vampire replied in a beautiful, metallic voice with an easy smile. "This girl, Melinda Hostetler, we believe her name was, lived in Seattle, around the borders of it, was afraid when she was bitten, not that I'm surprised. Unfortunately, though, we still have no idea who bit her, a vampire, that's for sure, but the intention was to turn her," he walked more gracefully then a human ever could, over to the girl still on my kitchen table and he pointed to the back of her neck.

"See this here, her neck had been broken while she was taking the bite, my guess is, she tried to escape and my theory is that the vampire accidentally snapped her neck maybe because they were frustrated by the fact she was trying to run away," he shrugged. "Either way, her broken neck should've been healed when the venom spread, but something stopped it, I still have no idea what could've stopped the venom of a vampire from spreading, but maybe the venom took too long to heal the neck, and so my guess is, the venom didn't work, it doesn't always, either, but it usually does, especially on the young adolescents.

"So, Sam, we seem to have just an accident, or the failure of a plan. Where did you say you found her?" Cullen asked Sam, perfect eyebrows raised.

"I didn't find her, Jacob did, and he found her in the southern woods, so yes, in the direction of Seattle. About fifteen kilometers from here. Why?"

"Ah, ok, see well, I think the vampire knew she wasn't going to turn, but instead of burning her or burying her, just left her in the woods, what do you think?"

Jake spoke up this time. "There was no scent of bloodsucker where I found her."

Everyone seemed to go into a tension silence, thinking, mostly, and for me, a bit scared. There is a vampire out there, and he - or she - is easily frustrated, killing machine that had failed to create a "newborn" Carlisle called them, the young ones that have no control of their bloodlust. What if they wanted to create this "offspring" and since it failed...who is going to be turned instead? And when are they going to try again?

It turned out not to be very long…just one night, and it was everywhere.

-0o0-

CNN special was of a tragic, messy murder of a citizen last night in Seattle. Mutated, they said, destroyed beyond the point of recognition. This was it, expect, this one lucky person was meant to be food, as horrible as it made me feel, this one particular murder, wasn't a simple bite with the anticipation of a newborn. No, which leaves another question, what vampire is so careless? To hunt at night, in a busy street, there could've been witnesses. But there wasn't, but that doesn't make any sense.

"This has got to stop," Sam told me firmly as we watched the coverage. "Too many deaths, too many lives lost to those," he paused, searching for the right word. "Insane, lunatic, monstrous creatures that think they're the top, that nothing can stand in their way. Too dangerous to exist."

I didn't say anything, letting him get it off his chest. "And, what have I got to stop them? A young pack of children. They're too young for this, it doesn't matter that they're needed, they need to live, this isn't a childhood, and we're getting younger. They have this new responsibility on them now, to protect the tribe, I can't let my family get hurt, we need to find this particular bloodsucking idiot and kill him, before he gets too much out of hand."

My thoughts wandered to Leah, she didn't choose this life, and so, she has turned to the most bitter of bitterness. Completely surrounded with the bitchiness of her own soul. No one can get to her, to my most disappointment, but that doesn't stop me from trying, she's my cousin and I have a duty to revive her of her bitterness, its taking a while, but the end result will be that I have my family back. I left Makah Res for Sam, and I miss my family, I had hoped that I could still have Leah and Seth, but Leah is too far to reach - that doesn't stop me from trying - but even Seth has put up a barrier when it comes to me, I haven't spoken to my aunty Sue since she rung up the night after uncle Harry died, to say give Leah the space she needs. I haven't heard from her since.

I give Sam a supporting kind of kiss on the cheek and got up to finish making the pack's breakfast, the dawn shift is finishing soon, I must prepare for four hungry wolves, plus the four that would come a bit later, and not as hungry. But when I say not really hungry, that still means the usual ten pancakes, seven muffins, eighteen eggs worth of scrambled egg and five cups of coffee each. And usually they raid my fridge for a few sausages and the toast. They seriously are bottomless pits. But at least I can feed them, and just hope whoever has to look after them in the future, they can too. I also organise what I'm going to make for lunch as well. I'm thinking pasta sauce, potato bake and sandwiches. I hope that can fill them.

As I take the muffins out of my oven, I heard the loud laughter, and I know that the dawn shift is here. I put the muffins on the hot plates and turn to the boys that tower me with their 6 foot 8(Im sorry, I have no idea what measurement this is, I just made it up :P what can I say? Im not American…) – that's about 185-210cm tall –and taller.

"Morning, boys, I got some scrambled eggs, pancakes and I just got out the muffins, so no touching them until they're cool. Sit at the table and no food on the floor, got me?" Quil, Embry, Jared and Seth all nodded enthusiastically, I know that Sam tells them to be grateful for my cooking, but its my job, that's what I'm here for, to look after these very big, hungry boys.

-0o0-

When Jake, Paul and Jared turned up, they had to fight for the last of the food. And I don't mean literally. I would never let that happen in my kitchen, and they know it.

Seeing Leah, it hurts me every time. Especially when she seems to be in …umm a worse mood than usual, I feel even guiltier. I feel like it's my entire fault. I know that I love having Sam, I don't regret love. But I do regret having to take him from her. My cousin. My best friend and I took her boyfriend. No, her fiancée. That's even worse. Why did he have to be her boyfriend? I'd feel less guilty if it was someone I didn't even know. I know, in a way, that's worse, but it would be the lesser of two evils.

Most people call me a saint, or a do-gooder.

But I'm not.

I've scarred my best friend beyond any hope of repair.

And she won't forgive me.

I don't blame her, I would hate me forever too, but a part of my wants all this guilt to go away. And it's this guilt that dampens my moods, whenever Leah is around; I act happy and bubbly, like everyone expects me to be.

I try to live past this part of my life, but that's the trouble with guilt, it …sticks to you. Like glue. No, superglue. Until you can forgive yourself, or move on, and moving on from anything is the hardest and most challenging problems of our lives. Not only does it adds a ton to your heart, until it's in your stomach, it also keeps you from sleeping at night.

If you have ever experienced such guilt it has stayed with you, until it's all you can remember of your childhood, or, in my case, my teenage years. I'd always crushed on my cousin's boyfriend. But when he asked me out, I couldn't believe it. I was so excited, my mind didn't even cross the thought, that this was Leah's boyfriend. Later then, I thought that maybe they broke up. But I realised, the way they were so happy that night I didn't understand what had happened. When I asked Sam, he just said it happened suddenly.

I didn't think until a few hours later, that I was the sudden change. It was my fault. I single-handedly broke up my cousin and her fiancée.

I still felt the guilt. Even when I knew that Sam had imprinted on me, I still felt guilty, even if it helped both Leah and I. I helped her by letting her know, he wasn't the one. He wasn't her soul mate. He was mine. Despite what I had said that week before her graduation.

Now, there is a mass murdering vampire out there, in Seattle, not too far from here, especially for a vampire. He is out there at this moment, killing people, probably turning some too. He is out there, and he could end us all. And I would die with that guilt.


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