Driving back to London was painful, but Fili finally knew at least one thing he had to do. He knew where Ori lived because he dropped off Kili several times there before, so he just went to the door and knocked. Ori was really surprised to see Fili at the door, but let him in without a word. His eyes became wide when he noticed the object Fili was carrying.

"I thought I would never see it again." Ori admitted quietly, taking a look at the photos he loved most. He stopped for a moment on one of the photos of the two of them as children and glided his finger over Kili's face. "Those were good times. We were both really happy as children despite being in an orphanage, later when Mr. Gray adopted Kili it was even better. Until Kili took the job as a model." Ori stopped suddenly.

"Why do you say until that moment?" Fili asked quietly.

"Kili always needed to feel useful, and when she could repay in a way the favour Mr. Gray did to her, she was really happy. But the job changed her, before she was a boy, later she had to be a girl full time. Instead of playing around, she practiced makeup and walked on the catwalk. I loved the old Kili, but the new Kili was a different person altogether." Ori admitted. "She became more fragile, having to hide everything from everybody."

Fili noticed the marks on Ori's arms as he was putting away the album. "Kili told me about how you got those." He started quietly.

"It's a long and sad story." Ori summed up not wanting to think again about the mistakes in his life.

"My cousin saw Kili in New York, and he said Kili became very thin." Fili told Ori hesitantly.

"She's very depressed." Ori admitted. "She took the job in New York to be as far away as possible. You broke her heart just as I predicted you would. I tried to tell her not to engage emotionally in your deal, but we are all helpless when love appears in our lives."

"I love Kili." Fili admitted looking at the shy librarian.

"But you hurt her nevertheless." Ori said. "She wouldn't even tell me what you did to her, but I've never seen her in such a state."

"I wish there was something I could to turn back time." Fili sighed looking at the floor.

"Of course there is something you could do, buy a ticket to New York." Ori told him handing a note with an address.

. . . . .

Kili was unhappy in New York. His job was boring, his flat was empty, his life was empty. He had no one there to talk to, and apart from all the men trying to flirt with him to get laid, and two occasions when he saw Gimli no one talked to him. His life felt hopeless, and slowly he was falling into despair. He understood Ori better and better with every passing day, and he wondered how his best friend managed to go on being rejected by his lover. They talked long hours on Skype, but the time difference made it sometimes difficult. He talked to Gandalf about the broken contract, but Gandalf wasn't mad at him for it, he said Kili was adult enough to make his own decisions. He missed Fili so much he could feel pain in his whole body. He knew he became slimmer, but the sight of food made him sick. He just wanted to be left alone. Ori suggested he should go to therapy, but Kili didn't trust anybody to start talking about such private issues.

The day someone knocked on the door for the first time since she moved in came as a surprise. He opened the door to see the last person he was expecting to see ever again.

Fili took in the changes with shock, Kili must have lost several kilograms, his skin really pale and eyes dark and gloomy. He looked horribly sad, and the eyes that met his were empty.

"May I come in?" Fili asked gently speaking directly to Kili for the first time in months. He could see Kili hesitate, his eyes became even darker before he finally stepped away and gave him entrance to the flat. The living room was a mess, lots of thing laying around and several suitcases packed standing just near the door.

"Are you moving?" Fili asked still worry that Kili didn't even reply to him.

"Yes." Kili finally replied feeling Fili's deep glare on him.

"You look horrible." Fili told him bluntly. "Have you been eating anything?"

"I'm fine." Kili replied lying.

"You don't look fine." Fili spoke at him angrily.

"What do you care?" Kili looked at him finally showing some emotion in his eyes, and it was despair which made Fili shiver with horror.

"I don't want you hurt or unhappy." Fili admitted after some time. "Get dressed we're going out to dinner."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Kili replied.

"Then we'll order some pizza here." Fili was stubborn to make sure Kili would eat something.

"Can't you just go?" Kili told him quietly.

"I didn't fly all the way from London to go anywhere without you." Fili started yelling at him.

"Who cares why you came here?" Kili looked absentmindedly at Fili.

"I'm going to take care of you if you like it or not." Fili told Kili firmly.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Kili looked at Fili with tears in his eyes.

"I can't go away until I make sure you're fine." Fili tried to hold down the love confession springing to his mouth.

"Order some pizza if you insist." Kili gave him a leaflet from a local pizza house, and sat down on the couch holding his legs in his arms.

They waited silently for the pizza, and when it arrived Fili turned on the TV and set it to anything that was on. He put two portions on the only two clean plates he found in the kitchen and watched carefully as Kili ate a bit.

"I'm not very hungry." Kili told him putting away the pizza.

"I don't care if you're hungry or not, I'm not going to let you starve to death. So either you eat or I'll force you to eat it." Fili threatened him, only to see tears come to Kili's eyes and spill down into a stream on his cheeks. He put away his plate and moved closer to Kili, and gently he pulled Kili into his arms. He held him tightly thinking about all the mistakes he made and about how much cared for the person he was holding. It was relief to feel Kili's body under his hands again, to be able to hold him again.

"Will you please eat for me?" Fili gently whispered.

"I can't." Kili cried in his embrace. "Every time I look at food I can't eat."

"I'm here with you, and I'm not letting you go." Fili held him even tighter.

"You meant that?" Kili looked up to look his straight in the eyes for the first time.

"I mean it." Fili gently replied kissing Kili deeply. "Now eat your pizza before it goes cold. I'm hungry after all that crappy airplane food." He forced Kili to take his plate, and kept him in his lap holding tightly.