Authors note: This chapter contains somewhat disturbing and violent images, domestic abuse, and other dark depressing things.

August 2nd 2005

Somehow those long, heartfelt talks about their feelings were not going the way that either witch had planned. And part of it was because no matter what she said, no matter how much Willow tried; Tara was still leaving. Willow knew this, last week in August she was going to London, moving in to her new apartment and doing the Master's program. Willow was staying, to continue with the magicks, and evil fighting here by Buffy's side. What else was she going to do? She felt more human when Tara was around, less like she was only energy- just her magic. But she still had work to do. Even if it was just setting up barriers around headquarters, and helping with research.

After four days Willow felt like banging her head against the wall. Although it had been made ,clear that full-disclosure was not the best strategy, Willow couldn't help but tiptoe around Tara, trying not to upset her feelings. Tara would occasionally try to talk to her about all that went on. But she couldn't understand. Not really.

"Why don't you just go the blunt route. Be Captain Obvious." Xander suggested.

"It won't work. It's not like she can see what happened." Willow had replied. No sooner were the words out of Willow's mouth and she was running for the bookcases, hoping she would find that particular volume. Searching through various magic books with a renewed energy. She remembered a spell she had once tried to get into Buffy's mind to bring her back out into the real world.

"Uh Will? What are you doing?"

"A spell I did once. Well something like it. It could work… it might." Willow smiled as she finally found the book she was searching for, pulling the heavy leather-bound volume off the shelf and into her hands.

"Willow, just to remind you, putting a spell on your girlfriend is not an option. Girls don't usually like that, remember?"

"No-no...I used it on Buffy, it would theoretically allow Tara to take a walk through my mind. Then...Then she could see, she would understand."

"A mind-meld spell? They have mind meld spells? Like vulcans? Vulcan-witches?" Xander looked stunned, "Okay, I am going back outside to watch the super-strong slayers do back flips like cartoon characters. At least that makes sense."

Tara had been trying to enjoy the past three days. It was bittersweet. And her and Willow weren't lovers anymore. Not really. They had been sharing a room and a bed. But both had kept to their own sides. Reminding her of when Willow used to stay over before they had begun their relationship, they'd start out on their own sides and wind up squished together in the morning, leading to blabbered or stuttered apologies.

Willow entered the room breathlessly. She looked like she'd run upstairs in a hurry. A box in her hands, and a large leather book tucked under one arm. Obviously full of candles and other witchy-supplies.

Tara laughed in spite of herself, looking up from the book that she was reading. This Willow looked so very much like the Willow she first met, even with the threads of darkness.

"Tara I want to show you something. Well actually I want you to do something. I want you to take a little trip, well more of a magic-spell-type trip." Willow babbled.

"Where would I be going?" Tara asked. She wasn't entirely sure what Willow was asking.

"Inside me... my insides."

"Uh. Willow I'm not so sure that's such a good idea just now. And I'm kinda still at that time of the-"

"Oh no...not those insides, not the physical insides, I meant inside my mind" Willow blushed. "There's this spell- you take a little walk through my mind and I really want to show you things. I want you to really see what I am."

Tara thought for a moment, "Let me take a look at the spell?"

"Of course." Willow answered, setting the box down on the floor, than setting the book on the bed, opening it to the right page.

Tara read for a moment, her eyes opened wide, "That's a really big spell Willow."

"I know."

"I-I'm not sure if I can."

"If you don't feel comfortable you don't have to. But if you're worried about what's in my busy head I'll only show you some stuff. You'll see what I'm showing you. A kind of guided tour."

"No that's not what I mean," Tara's hand gently clasped Willow's, "I'm not sure I can do that. Not alone anyway."

"I can help you. The connection part anyway. And I'd be with you when you walked through my memories."

"Would I be able to see you? You see me?"

"Me-me? Or past-me?"

"Either?"

"I don't know. I've never used it like this before."

"Would it be...safe?" Tara asked questioningly.

"Yes." Willow used the one word answer. She knew without a doubt that she could do this spell safely. She had the power, and the control.

"Okay." Tara nodded her head deciding in the affirmative.

BBB

They prepared most of the day. Tara was more nervous than Willow was. She'd never really enjoyed casting alone, not after she'd met Willow anyways. And she would have to do the harder parts of the spell, even if Willow was helping her and providing some of the energy. They waited for night, more by Tara's request who wanted to study the spell as much as possible and prepare before nightfall.

Even with the door locked, they were so afraid of being disturbed, even though two teams of slayers had gone out on patrol. They were faking turning in early tonight to have the space to do the spell.

Now, with Willow lighting candles, and Tara sitting cross-legged on the floor. It seemed so very much like the spells they'd cast before. She'd missed this.

Finally, Willow sat down across from her, so close that their knees were touching.

"Ready?"

Tara nodded affirmatively, taking Willow's hands in hers, she closed her eyes. And they began.

BBB

A rush of white, then darkness, finally Tara found herself in their old bedroom. Everything as she remembered.

Willow sat on the bed. It was the Willow of her present. She looked at her, pleased that the spell had worked but remained silent.

Why are we here? Tara asked.

Just watch, they can't see you. Her Willow answered without speaking.

Suddenly, she came face to face with herself. Well almost. They appeared on the floor. Willow clutching her body, her shirt sprayed with her blood. Willow begging her to get up, half aware that her love had already gone from this plane.

Willow's eyes went black, she felt a shiver go through her body- but she didn't break the connection. Even when Willow screamed, and cried.

"Bring her back!" Past-Willow demanded of Osiris.

Tara might not be viewing things from Willow's perspective, but her feelings flooded into Tara. The pain and grief were overwhelming. Lost stung at her and Tara wept.

It was all there. The darkness, the anger and the pain. This Willow was far from sane and it was ripping her apart at the seams. Her eyes and hair blackened by it. Her aura stained. She followed Willow through her grief and destruction.

She watched Willow hunt down her killer; shoving anyone or anything that tried to stop her out of her way. She watched Willow hurt, and kill and maim. Willow had killed without remorse, without feelings of any kind. She watched Willow do this twice. She was completely taken over by grief, and the dark magic was using her. Willow's emotions coursing through her. Giles. Magic. Ending the world. It began to blur together.

My Willow. Oh my Willow. Tara thought helplessly. I don't know if I can take anymore. But Tara was in control of the connection, and she held it.

Finally, it came to a close. Willow sobbing her eyes out in Xander's arms. Suddenly, she was Willow again. The magics fading and her lover reasserting herself in her own body, letting the grief pore out.

It faded back to white briefly, Tara catching her breath. Slowing her breathing. Was she really breathing? This was somewhat akin to astral projection so she could not be exactly sure.

A new scene came into focus. Willow was here, in England, at the coven. She watched Willow learn and mourn her loss.

The aching void. A faked smile. Willow at her grave; placing small rocks on the headstone. Tara didn't understand why, but she suddenly understood the custom as a Jewish one even though she had never seen it before.

"Hey it's me" Past-Willow said tracing her name with her fingers. She so wanted to go wrap her arms around that younger Willow and cry with her. Reassure her that the future would be better.

The scene changed. It was Willow talking to a strange girl in the library. Her own Willow met her confusion in her brain. This was the First, the First Evil in a disguise. This was horrible. Even if it hadn't taken her form, it tortured Willow using her. She couldn't see this.

No more Tara thought. Please no more, I can't take anymore grief. I can't stand seeing you in pain anymore. And she was so helpless to comfort her. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into this past and protect Willow as best she could.

Slowly it faded away. She found herself standing in the corner of a darkened room once again.

She wasn't sure what room they were in because Willow didn't really remember. It was probably her dorm room at Sunnydale University but she wasn't sure. But when she looked at the bed she saw something beautiful.

It was early morning, before the sun was up and Willow was holding her lovingly and watching her sleep. This was somewhere within their first year together. Tara thought.

Past-Willow spoke, "My Tara." She crooned gently at the Tara curled up on her body, like they would together during the day over their kitten. Her eyes full of love and devotion. So perfectly content.

She felt her own Willow curl herself around her back and feeling that this was done Tara slowly broke the connection.

BBB

She found herself lying down on the floor. No longer cross-legged. She could feel the tears still streaming down her face at what she'd seen.

"Willow." She sobbed. And within an instant Willow was in her arms, kissing her forehead and face. Then helping her up and lying down with her in the bed. A hand brushing through her hair soothingly.

Willow was pained, obviously from reliving the memories right along with her as they went along.

The crying clinging witches continued for a while. Tears streaming down both faces, clutching each other as close as they could.

"It was so awful." Tara managed to get out.

"I know." Willow answered, stroking Tara's hair. They probably stayed like that for a good hour, crying and holding each other.

Until finally, curled back in Willow's arms and feeling safe she made a decision.

"I want you inside of me." Tara whispered tenderly. Wanting to show Willow the same incredible trust that she'd been shown.

Willow looked up in surprise, "If you want." She reached for her PJ shirt, and pulled it off over her head. She was going to give Tara whatever she wanted.

"No! No... I mean the spell. I want to show you something." Tara said.

"Okay. Anything you want." Willow told her gently, but the surprise was clearly shown. She hadn't expected this. Not after her violation of Tara's mind. Twice. She hadn't even used telepathy on her since she'd been back. She'd been so careful to respect that boundary. This meant a lot coming from Tara, it meant she trusted her with magic again.

"Do we have to move?"

"No. I can do it like this." Willow answered, and her mind reached out wordlessly to Tara's connecting them again.

BBB

Willow remembered doing this spell with Buffy. But this was more unrestrained, she felt Tara. Emotions tangled as they connected. She could feel that Tara had missed doing spells with her.

Then she found herself in a very unfamiliar room.

Tara was curled up in the bed, face pressed into the pillow. Was this the house she grew up in? Willow looked around for signs of where she was. Willow walked towards the bed from the hallway. It was largish with a wooden frame. The covers were mussed, someone

What is this place?

Shh. Watch, her own Tara whispered to her.

Willow began to look closer. A small child was cuddled up next to Tara. What was this place? Was this a fantasy? But she saw no signs of herself anywhere in this room.

The child was awake, giggling slightly, "Mama get up!" The child was adorable, blonde hair braided, with Tara's eyes. The little once bounced on her knees, clad only in a long flannel nightgown.

"Tara. Its still early." The woman she previously thought was Tara answered her.

"The sun is up." Tara smiled, "You promised you'd show me-"

The woman sat up. Willow looked at her face, she did look a lot like Tara. Their colouring was the same with the honey-coloured hair and blue eyes. Her features were much like Tara's. But this woman looked tired, her face was thinner than Tara's and other slight differences seemed so obvious to Willow who knew her lover's body so well she was surprised she had thought this was Tara. It must be her mother.

My mother, her Tara confirmed.

The smaller Tara might have been about 4, she smiled mischievously and her teddy-bear rose slightly in the air and waved its paws at her mother.

Tara's mother beamed at her child. Her face lighting up, "Okay. But we have to finish before your father gets home remember? Our secret?"

"Our secret." The little Tara repeated and mimed zipping her lips.

It struck Willow then how young Tara's mother was here. She doubted she was much older than they were now.

Willow smiled, you were so adorable. How could anyone not completely fall in love with you?

She got to watch, as the mother schooled the daughter in Wicca and in magic. Mixing it in with their day to day life. Getting breakfast ready, running her older brother out to the bus stop. Reading to Tara... Life at their farmhouse, horses, the world through the eyes of a child.

Tara learned the balance, Willow thought, trained to be a witch even then. So attuned and aware and cautious of what she was doing.

I was still only a child. Her own Tara answered her silently.

She caught glimpses of Tara's brother Donny, saw him practice with his mother and his sister, after he returned from school. He might have been about seven. He seemed more hesitant to practice magic with his mother than the younger version of Tara. Unsurprisingly, his little sister had surpassed him in power; he couldn't do what she could. The three of them joining hands, conducting their own circle.

She was training them, she was training them both. The realization hit Willow quickly.

He was seven; this is the last time he cast with my mother and me. Her Tara filled her in.

Tara's mother talked about her own mother, Tara's grandma. And the dead.

Samhain, Willow realized. This was Halloween, you were honouring the dead.

Actually, it was November 1st.

The scene changed. It was the same day, judging by the clothes that all three were still wearing. Tara's mom was cooking dinner. Tara was helping, as best a small child could fetching things for her mother from the fridge. Putting napkins on the table.

"When's Dad going to be home?" Donny asked his mother nervously.

"I don't know. Today or tomorrow, he didn't say for sure. Did you both move your stuff back to your own rooms?" Tara's mother looked at them with concern.

"I did." Donny answered, "Tara didn't."

"I don't want him to come home." The small Tara pouted, and began to look very small and very scared.

"Donny, put Tara's things back in her room please."

"Aww Mama I-" Donny gave up and went to go move Tara's things.

Tara's mom dropped down to the floor and embraced her daughter, who snuggled in, "Your father's not so bad sweetie. He has his problems like everyone else."

"He's mean." Tara crossed her little arms across her chest.

"Shh. Here put the plates on the table." Tara's mom handed them to her, "Carefully please Tara."

The door opened. This man Willow recognized. This was Mr. Maclay, Tara's father. Younger, but he still had the same look to him. He dropped his bag near the floor. As Donny came running downstairs Willow could see mixed feelings at seeing his father playing across his face.

"Irene!" He hollered slightly.

"Yes? I'm in the kitchen Don."

Made sense, shared a name with his son. Willow began to piece together this puzzle. She felt trepidation and fear. The feelings of child-Tara.

Mr Maclay came into the kitchen, "Least you made enough for four. I swear you don't miss me at all when I'm gone."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I do." Irene responded and walked over to her husband.

"What do you do all day? Sit around plotting against me? There's nothing done. You are so useless." He criticised.

Irene remained silent, and finished setting the table.

Willow caught sight of what neither parent had noticed yet. Tara had the cutlery drawer open and a wooden spoon was currently floating its way towards the ceiling. Unfortunately, her father saw her first.

"You little..." Mr Maclay jumped to his feet, "What kind of evil are you bringing in to my house!" He yelled at the child, he had slapped her face before Irene had the chance to get in the way. Willow's eyes welled with tears, just as though she'd been struck across her own face.

The small Tara began to cry.

"Baby." Donny muttered.

"You're a demon-child, bringing that evil into my house just like your mother. You are bad. And bad girls get punished." Mr. Maclay yelled at his daughter.

"No Don." Irene finally managed to push herself between her husband and her daughter, "You don't mean that, Tara go upstairs!"

"You!" Her father spat out with disgust, "You're just as bad as she is!" He grabbed his wife roughly, hands on her upper arms. The little Tara cowered in a corner in the next room with her hands pressed over her ears to block out some of the sound. As Willow looked at her Tara she noticed she was shaking. She put her arms around her as the scene around them melted into something else.

Tara was older now, about sixteen, sitting in a hospital room holding the hand of her mother. All of Tara's mother's beautiful golden hair had fallen out and she looked gaunt and thin, Tara's mother was asleep. But not a peaceful one.

Seventeen. Her own Tara corrected her gently. Willow tightened her embrace around Tara.

Teenage Tara looked up as a nurse came in. The nurse was an older maternal sort of woman in her fifties and smiled warmly at Tara before taking Irene's vitals.

"No ch-change?" Tara asked quietly. She had already developed that telltale stutter. Her father's doing; Willow mused.

"No...she's been in a coma for two days now. Honey- I don't want you to expect too much. Your mother has been very brave and she's put up a good fight, but I don't think she'll wake up again."

Tara stifled a sob.

"She'll likely pass away in the night..." Noticing Tara's expression she changed her tact. "It's been noted that patients in comas can often hear what is being said around them. She can still hear you, your mother. Cancer is a very nasty disease; hers: more so. She's a wonderful woman your mother, it's very tragic." The nurse adjusted the poled and fed some more morphine into her mother's drip. "I'll leave you two alone now Tara, but you really should go home and get some sleep."

"If she's d-dying I want to be with her." The nurse smiled wanly at Tara's persistence. Willow realized that it was not the first night that Tara had spent sleeping in the chair beside her mother's bed. Her backpack was on the floor and she could see a towel poking out of it.

"Well I'm going off shift now dear. If you need anything Rhoda is on the night shift. Goodnight Tara."

"Goodnight Wendy." Tara managed to look away from her mother's limp form.

After she had gone Tara snuggled up besides her mother and Willow could hear her sobbing into her arm. "Mama, please don't leave me Mama. I need you." Willow could also hear what the younger version of Tara was thinking. Don't leave me alone with him.

She died that night. Her own Tara told her.

Willow found herself briefly lost in a flood of emotion, Tara's at losing her mother. It was pain, and rage, and so many things that she couldn't put words to.

The next scene that followed was familiar. Tara's old dorm room. With the Christmas lights hung in the dark. They were there. Casting a spell, that soon she saw the younger Willow beaming at Tara excitably as it worked.

"You were right. It just took a bit more concentration and bam! Instant results!" the younger Willow babbled. Before losing focus and staring at Tara who was looking at her. The younger Willow leaned forward and kissed Tara. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was close to it.

Spells and kisses, that was the beginning.

Willow could feel the nerves, the excitement and the thrill at these tentative kisses. Hands still too unsure to wander, she saw Tara hold her younger self around the waist gently. She could feel how restrained Tara was, so controlled. She was keeping things as light as possible. So scared of scaring her away.

Their younger selves broke apart and smiled before kissing again gently.

Her Tara smiled at her as well. Then very gradually the scene melted away, they were still in the same room. Willow recognized this scene easily.

There on the floor they were conducting the passage to the neatherrealms. This was their first time.

"The inward eye the sightless see, Ayala flows through the river in me..." Their younger selves chanted.

She could feel Tara's nervousness, her passion and desire. She had felt it at the time of course, but from the inside out it was different. More all-consuming.

Her younger self, and Tara as well, their breathing was heavy, shallow. She watched herself fall backwards, arching and gasping. Looking like she was caught in an intense orgasm. Tara followed her, retaining contact, breathing heavily and undressing her from the waist down.

She felt herself shudder slightly, watching this was different than anything else she's seen in Tara's mind. Her own Tara held her hand, a simple gesture- not a physical one considering these bodies were mere projections, but comforting all the same.

Watching the two of them make love was really weird to say the least. This time she could feel what Tara felt...what Tara was thinking. At the same time, feeling Tara's passion and crazy desire and all the love she had for her already was a powerful stimulant.

You loved me. Willow thought-spoke to Tara happily.

You knew that already. Tara reminded her.

She felt it, Tara's love, her need for her. Even as Tara made love to her. She heard the noises from the mouth of her younger self, saw Tara's head between her legs, and finally it was over.

She felt an echo of Tara's release. Heard the gasp that she'd missed in the moment- lost in her own climax and the feeling of Tara's mouth on her.

You came? You came from that? Willow looked behind her to her own Tara in shock. Even in her ghostly state Tara blushed scarlet.

The younger Tara became awkward, laying her head on Willow's stomach. She was embarrassed until younger Willow finally got the sense to kiss her.

The spell had connected them potently; Tara had been entirely caught up in it and when it had ended, it had left her feeling very unsure of herself.

She looked back to her own Tara, I forgot about that. I remember you were so sure.

No I wasn't. I just wanted you badly enough.

When she looked back to their younger selves, they were kissing and climbing back onto the bed. Tara pulled it back out flat. She had forgotten about that.

It was almost embarrassing the uncertainty she had then. The way she had panicked once they were naked and clung to Tara.

She felt Tara's love, her concern, and she remembered the way she felt then. Terrified.

This was such a mess, Willow sighed.

No, it was beautiful. Look at it. Really look. Tara reminded her

I am looking, I was so nervous. This is embarrassing.

Willow watched as Tara's younger self rolled over, and continued to make love to her extra-neurotic-younger self. For her, it had been an exploration- not a performance and that had been the difference in neurosis.

There was awe, and thrill and total joy in pleasuring Willow, being inside her.

Tara was so totally content there. Actually both Taras were extremely content at the moment.

Finally, she watched herself move them so that she was on top. Her hand moving down Tara's body.

She could feel Tara's thoughts, her feelings, the nervousness and the desire. Slow. The younger Tara was thinking, clinging to her Willow. She saw the moment she'd pressed a finger deep into Tara. Intent on feeling more of her.

After a few moments, "More." the younger Tara decided. And her younger counterpart obliged immediately, eager to please Tara and happy for directions as the older Willow recalled.

The younger Tara made a mewling sound when she added a second finger. The startling newness of having her body explored, slightly uncomfortable, and overwhelming desire. But it was Willow inside of her and she had welcomed her into her body without hesitation.

Willow got closer to them without thinking, watching them move on the bed together. Both writhing and pleasuring and breathing heavily. The younger Willow arched her back, gasping out her release, and Tara soon followed, their moans breaking the silence in the room.

These emotions flooding Willow now were potent, too much and she broke the connection.

BBB

Willow breathed heavily back on the bed. She looked at Tara. Her eyes full of tears again.

She'd shown Tara destruction and grief, her darkness. And Tara had responded with pain, and love. They were lying side by side, barely touching, and staring intently into each other's eyes.

Tara was smiling at her, her eyes red and tear stained, Willow reached out and pulled Tara close, consuming her mouth in a kiss, and planting little sweet kisses on her face. Then she devoured her mouth again; sucking on her bottom lip, this kiss wasn't like the others they'd had since they'd been back. Tara's hand wound around the back of Willow's head pulling her in tighter. Willow's arms closing around Tara's warm body. Holding her as close as she could.

"Why?" Willow asked, pulling back for a moment. She still couldn't believe after all that had happened; messing with Tara's memories a few years ago that Tara had allowed her into her mind. Seeing pain and joy. Experiencing her feelings.

"Because you needed to see it. And I wanted to share it with you. Some of that I could never just tell you." Tara explained, running her fingers through Willow's red hair.

"But the-" Willow tried to express her feelings at witnessing them make love.

Tara understood easily. "The rest of it was kind of depressing." She explained somewhat sheepishly.

There was a silence, Willow absent-mindedly tracing her fingers across Tara's breast. It took a few moments before she realized what she was doing, "Oh. Sorry. I didn't- I'm not thinking really well just now. And it was just kinda there..."

Tara smiled that sweet crooked smile, her hand went to cover Willow's, pressing her hand to her more firmly, "That's okay. I want you to touch me."

Her body responded instantly to Tara's words.

"Oh Goddess.... I need you." Willow breathed. She couldn't stop looking at Tara. She'd been deprived of her touch for far too long. She pressed her face between the much adored breasts of her lover. She nuzzled in and kissed them, sighing gently, "Mmm I want you Tara."

She smiled at Willow's reaction, then gently rolled the lithe witch on to her stomach. She spooned close to her back and began to kiss down her spine. Beginning at the nape of her neck she worked her way down. Soft, sensuous kisses that made Willow shiver. One hand claiming the redhead's hip as she slowly pressed her lips again and again.

Finally, after lavishing attention on her lover's back, she moved to hover over Willow again, pressing her into the sheets.

Willow moaned wordlessly as Tara rolled her over onto her back. She pressed close, delighting in the softness of Willow's skin, and it was bare. She planted kisses everywhere she could reach.

Tara supported herself on her arms looking down into Willow's eyes. They were breathing hard in unison and still reeling from the incredible not-so-physical intimacy they had just shared. Very slowly Tara caressed Willow's slim body, light teasing touches. She slowly began to undress her lover, her eyes never leaving Willows for more than mere moments to kiss the soft skin of her neck or collar bone. Willow tilted her pelvis up allowing Tara to slowly remove her PJ bottoms. Tara's hands were playing across her skin, sweet, gentle, tender caresses.

"Mmm...Shirt off" Willow instructed, as she attempted to de-shirt Tara to no avail. She kept fumbling. Tara giggled and quickly removed her shirt, and then with a tilt of her head, her pants as well. To Willow's great delight, Tara had gone without a bra.

Tara leaned over again to claim Willow's mouth with her own, sliding her thigh between Willow's, she could feel the liquid heat of Willow's arousal agains her leg as she rocked against her, placing kissing down Willow's face, throat and bosom while she rocked. Willow kissed her lips ardently, sliding her hands down Tara's body and slipping her hands inside her panties to caress her ass. She gripped slightly before she pulled Tara's underwear down to her slender ankles where Tara ofthandedly kicked them off, claiming Willow's mouth with a passionate kiss. Willow slipped her thigh between Tara's legs, rocking back against Tara's sex. They lay like that for a while, rocking, moaning and kissing, breath coming hard and heavy. Finally, they broke the kiss for air, each trying to take in as much oxygen as possible.

"This is going to be messy." Tara warned, but it was a low breathless pant.

"I don't care. I don't like these sheets anyway." Willow responded, gazing up at Tara, still rocking gently against her, sliding against her now well lubricated thigh. Her eyes were dark, her lips parted slightly, and with every rock of her hips her breasts bounced.

Willow was utterly hypnotized, "You are so beautiful."

She didn't respond, just leant down and claimed Willow's mouth with her own.

When she finally released Willow's lips, her eyes were still brimming with tears, she knew that if they kept rocking like this eventually they would find release, but she wanted something else.

Tara removed her thigh, to the sounds of an annoyed whimper from Willow. She let her hand take a slow journey down her lover's body.

There was no need for instructions now, Willow thought internally. They could probably write the book on each other. Willow was considering the name for the hypothetical book when she was once again distracted.

Tara caressed her wet heat, grazing it, before pleasuring Willow purposefully.

"Oh Willow." She sighed, and leaned down to kiss Willow again, slipping fingers inside, and working her oh so slowly.

"Tara..." Willow groaned. She felt Tara pepper kisses all over her face.

Willow's hands moved over her lover's body, over her back, and ass and thighs. Her skin was so soft, so perfect.

Finally, Willow moved her hand to Tara's sex, desiring nothing more than to please her. In many ways they were mirroring the last memory. But this mutual pleasuring had none of the awkwardness of that first time. Their movements were fluid, they moved like one creature. Completely in synch, backs arching and eyes locked. It seemed to go on forever, blotting out the rest of the world with their magic, the real magic. The one that existed so effortlessly between them.

"I'm yours." Tara moaned, rocking above her, tensing and close, "Willow...Willow...Willow..." Her moans ending with a long low moan, wordless, and Willow gasped, shaking out her own release as she met her soulmate in a delicious oblivion.

The two lay close; snuggled together on the mussed sheets.

"I love you." Tara whispered, kissing Willow so gently.

"I love you too." Willow whispered back.

Tara moved to rest her head on Willow's chest, "Mmm." She began humming contentedly, running her fingers across alabaster skin.

Willow didn't recognize the melody at first, but when she did she smiled, "You, are going to make me want to do all of that, all over again."

"I guess I'm doing something right then." Tara quipped, and returned to her humming.

The door suddenly swung open with a crash.

"Ay carumba." The exclamation was loud, followed by Buffy bursting in to the room behind Xander.

"God Xander, don't you – OH GOD." Buffy stopped, her eyes going as wide as dinner plates.

"I know we locked that door." Willow said, trying in vain to reach for a blanket, Tara managed to cover them however.

"Yeah. I have the master key."

"Oh. Great... Thanks for knocking guys." Willow said, still clutching the sheets close to herself.

"We need you guys to get dressed and come downstairs."

Before she could ask why the answer was blurted out, "One of the slayers is dead."