A/N: Yay, the writer's block is gone! *Does a little dance* Now for the chapter...
Chapter 9: Reparations
Nyota set a steaming cup of tea in front of Spock and sat in the chair across from him, her own cup cradled in her hands. They were silent for a moment, sipping their hot beverages, not looking at one another. Spock was compiling a list of his own grievances as she stared at the table-top, presumably doing the same. He had not used the link since they had awoken that morning and moved to his quarters to have tea.
"Okay." Nyota finally said, setting her cup down. "I'm ready to talk when you are."
"I am prepared." Spock replied. They had agreed to not speak until ready to begin the discussion about their relationship. Spock did not particularly desire to speak about it, but he also knew that it was necessary for their contentment. He had suggested a meld instead- but she had insisted that it would be better to speak about it out loud. "That way we won't get caught up in negative emotions," she had explained that morning. As he did not have any negative emotions about the matter, he assumed that meant that she did. This pained him. Perhaps that did mean he had negative emotions about it, then?
"Who's going first?" she asked. Spock inclined his head.
"I would prefer that you do so." he replied. She nodded, and settled back in her chair, her eyes trained on his face. He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, staring back at her, his eyes not leaving hers as she began to speak.
"First of all...I really am sorry for attacking you the way I did last night. It wasn't right for me to do that." she paused, inhaling and exhaling deeply before continuing. "But I meant what I said about you clamming up when you're hurt. You have a habit of drawing away from me, of not wanting help or even wanting to talk about it. I understand it's not easy for you, because you've never been taught how to deal with your emotions. Vulcans are taught to repress emotions- not how to deal with them. The fact that you're half human means that you should have been taught that, because I know from the melds we've done that it's harder for you to control your emotions than it is for other Vulcans.
"But- like I also said last night- I really don't like seeing you hurt. And my way of dealing with pain is to talk about it. So maybe I handled it wrong, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to help you. Please don't hide your pain from me, Spock. I can handle it- I want to handle it. It helped me immensely when I showed you my pain from what happened on Scorpius Three...if sharing could get me through that, then sharing can get you through your pain from what's going on between you and your father.
"So...I think the problem in this area is both of us. I can't expect you to open up easily...it's just not your way. I thought I understood that before, but I guess I sometimes forget and need reminding. You're not human...I can't handle you like a human."
Spock tilted his head, recognizing his father's advice to him nearly five weeks ago. He could tell by her small smile that this had been intentional. She continued.
"What do you think about that? I mean...what's it like from your end when I push you too hard, like I did last night?"
Spock folded his hands in front of him. "I still believe that this would be much easier in a mind meld, Nyota. It will take less time and will fully convey our thoughts on this topic."
"Spock, please just humor me." Nyota said with a sigh. "You may be right, but I think it's best for us to do this verbally."
He did not see the logic in this. She knew it was difficult for him to speak about emotions...even the rare 'I love you' took much effort.
"I find that it is indicative of disrespect for the ways of Surak." Spock replied. "You often make it known that you dislike my lack of outward emotionalism, even while you claim that it does not bother you. You expect me to act as a human, and I find that foolish. As you have pointed out, I am not human. I do not intend to hurt you by saying these things, but I am merely speaking the truth. There have been times when you have spoken disrespectfully of my culture. Your propensity for 'pushing' me shows that you do not fully understand our ways. Distancing myself from you is my way of coping, and by allowing me to withdraw, you are helping me. You do not need to insert yourself into every aspect of my life."
He had not expected to tell her this much. He saw her draw in a deep breath, biting her lip, but she did not appear angry.
"Okay." she said slowly. "You're right. I do tend to...interfere a bit more than I should. But that's because I care about you."
"I am aware of that, Nyota. But when I say I do not require your help, I speak the truth. I would appreciate it if you would allow me to cope with pain in my own way. If it does not work, I will resort to your method of sharing it."
"That sounds fair enough." Nyota said, nodding slowly. "So for now on...when you're hurting about something, I'll leave you alone unless you specify otherwise. I will wait for you to come to me. If I start to push too hard, just remind me of this conversation, okay?"
"That seems agreeable." Spock replied.
"And...I don't mean to be disrespectful to your culture." Nyota said. "It's just that certain aspects of it- like the wedding ceremonies- seem so unnecessary. I'm sure Terran culture seems like that to you, too- judging what you said about the Terran wedding ceremonies."
"As we come from two entirely different worlds, it is inevitable that we have opposing views on cultural differences." Spock replied. "What may seem perfectly logical to one of us, may seem illogical to the other."
"Right." Nyota said, nodding again. "We'll have to meet each other half-way on that one."
There was a silence, during which Nyota looked down at her hands and Spock looked at her. He knew that although she did not show it, she was hurt by something he had said. Precisely what he had not wanted. He would make it up to her later- perhaps with kisses, or gentle caresses to her cheek. She seemed to find such actions comforting.
"What shall we discuss now?" he asked gently. Perhaps a softer tone would be enough to ease her pain. Such things did not work on him- but Nyota was human. She was susceptible to such small shows of affection, which was why he allowed himself to indulge in them. It was only logical to please his mate.
"I think we should-" Nyota was interrupted by the chiming of Spock's communications console. They met each other's gaze. "Are you expecting any calls?" she asked.
"I am not." Spock replied. "Computer, state address of incoming call."
"Call incoming from New Vulcan, Ambassador Sarek." the computer's cool voice replied. Spock's eyes did not leave Nyota's.
"Will you stay with me while I take the call?" he asked. She nodded.
"I did say we would talk to him together." she said with a small, sad smile.
He sat before the console, and she sat beside him. "Accept call." Spock said, and there was a moment's delay before Sarek's image appeared on the screen.
"Spock." Sarek said. He inclined his head. "And Ms. Uhura. We have not had the opportunity to formally meet."
"Ambassador Sarek." Nyota replied, also inclining her head.
"Father." Spock said. "I did not expect a call from you after our last discussion ended so unfavorably."
"I have meditated on a solution to our current problem." Sarek replied- he, like Spock and all other Vulcans, did not 'beat around the bush' as Nyota was fond of saying.
Spock fought hard to suppress the raising of an eyebrow. The fact that his father had been the first to reestablish contact was, in itself, unusual. Not only that, but he seemed much calmer than he had before. He had apparently come to terms with Spock's marriage to Nyota.
"We are listening." Spock replied when Sarek did not immediately continue.
"I have also consulted an elder on this subject. It has been found that there are two solutions to this. You could dissolve the bond and then recreate it following the proper customs- but that is twice as dangerous as what you have already done, and therefore unwise.
"Or- you could come to New Vulcan and an elder will perform the proper ceremonies despite the fact that you are already bonded. This is the preferable route of correction, although it is still not quite legitimate. It has never been conducted in such a way before, and if it were not for T'Pau's willingness to assist us, I doubt we would have found an elder that would perform it. While this will not entirely repair what you have done, it will give me enough peace to accept Ms. Uhura into the S'chn T'Gai house and will excuse you from your sacrilege."
A silence followed. Sarek's eyes were on Spock, and both him and Nyota stared at Sarek.
"That is quite logical, Father." Spock finally said. "And the solution is much simpler than I would have thought possible."
"What's the catch?" Nyota spoke up, looking at Sarek suspiciously.
"By 'catch' I suppose you mean what I have not mentioned, but will require from the two of you." Sarek replied. Spock tilted his head slightly, dread beginning to build within him. "You will be required to stay on New Vulcan for at least two weeks."
"Two weeks!" Nyota repeated loudly, surprise evident in her tone. She looked around at Spock. "Two weeks?" she repeated in a quieter voice. Spock, who was also surprised, turned back to his father, who did not seem at all disturbed by Nyota's behavior. He had become quite accustomed to the oddities of humans over the years.
"I do not think we will be able to stay for fourteen days, Father. It would be difficult enough to secure early shore leave for that amount of time for one senior bridge officer, but two would be almost impossible. Not to mention that it will be highly suspicious if we both go to New Vulcan at the same time."
"If you wish to make amends, you must come to New Vulcan for two weeks." Sarek repeated. "As you know, Spock, it was customary to remain on Vulcan for a full year after the marriage ceremony. But as you have an obligation to Starfleet, I was able to reduce that amount of time considerably. T'Pau herself has proclaimed that two weeks is the only acceptable amount of time. This will afford Ms. Uhura time to become accustomed to other Vulcans, and she must be taught appropriate Vulcan mannerisms. She must also learn the particulars of the ceremonies she is to participate in."
Spock tapped into their link, and Nyota accepted him with;
"Two weeks! Spock, we can't possibly get Starfleet to allow that!"
"Be that as it may, my father is correct. We wish to make amends, do we not?"
"Well, yes, of course..."
"And this is how we will. I will find a way to get the time we need on New Vulcan- you need not worry about that, Nyota. T'Pau is correct that we will require two weeks. You have much to learn beforehand, and afterwards it is customary to spend at least one week in the caves to...consummate the marriage."
He felt a spike of interest across the bond.
"A whole week?" she asked. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a waste of time...we could use a little break..."
"Is it decided, then?" He asked. He listened to her contemplate the pros and cons...the pros outweighing the cons by a substantial amount.
"Yes. Fine. We'll go...if you can manage to get Starfleet to allow it." Nyota replied finally. "I do want to make things right for us- and I want you reconciled with Sarek." Spock turned back to Sarek.
"It is decided that we shall comply with your wishes, Father, if we can get the amount of leave stated. Once that leave is secured, we shall come to New Vulcan to make reparations for our errors."
"That is agreeable." Sarek replied. His gaze wandered over to Nyota. "I will look forward to formally meeting you in person, Ms. Uhura. We were not introduced during the short amount of time we were on the Enterprise together."
"I will look forward to it, too." Nyota said, smiling. After the appropriate farewells, the connection was terminated. Spock turned to Nyota and captured her hand in his before she could get up from her chair.
"Nyota, I must thank you." he said. Her eyebrows rose and her lips parted slightly.
"For what?" she asked, confused and surprised.
"You did not have to agree to this. You care very deeply that I reconcile with my father- I felt it across the bond."
"Well...of course I care." Nyota said, stroking her thumb over his knuckles. "Didn't I just tell you twenty minutes ago that I don't like to see you in pain?"
He looked into her eyes, the corners of his lips quirking up in what she insisted on calling a 'non-smile'.
"Would you care to continue our discussion now? We still have thirty-one minutes before we must report to the bridge." he asked, squeezing her fingers lightly.
"You know what?" Nyota asked as she moved to drape her legs over his lap. "I think we discussed enough today. We'll continue that discussion whenever the need arises."
She rested her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. He looked down at her- she looked sublimely peaceful. Even when relaxed, her lips seem to curve slightly into a smile, and her long lashes curled delicately outward. Her light-brown skin looked so smooth, so soft...he reached out to touch her gently, his fingers brushing over her skin.
"It is only fitting that we also have a Terran ceremony." Spock said after several silent seconds of touching her cheek lightly. She opened her eyes, startled.
"You mean it?" she asked.
"I would not have said it if I did not." he said. "If we are to have a Vulcan ceremony, it is only proper to have a Terran one as well. There are two very different alien cultures involved in this marriage, and I wish to observe them both."
She smiled. If he had thought this small thing would make her happy, he was very correct.
___________________________________________________
"Captain, we are approaching Kathosia now." Sulu said to Kirk, who reclined in his command chair.
"Spock, give me the information from the database." Kirk said. Spock turned in his chair at the science station.
"Captain, Kathosia is a class M planet remarkably similar to Earth, with varying climates and highly similar humanoid inhabitants. The Kathosians, while not yet capable of space travel, are advanced. They have been visited once by the Vulcans, two hundred years ago. At that time, it was found that the Kathosians are a peaceful race, open to further visitations to monitor their progress."
"Good, good." Kirk said, standing and pacing the area in front of his chair. "Lieutenant Uhura, can you make contact?"
"Yes, sir." Nyota said, turning to her station and flicking controls. A few moments passed. "I'm getting something, sir- switching to main viewscreen." She flipped a switch, and a man appeared on the screen. He looked human, except for the fact that his eyes were entirely black. Nyota found them distinctly unsettling as the man spoke.
"My name is M'anuk. I am the High Koshaak of Kathosia. Who are you? Are you Vulcans?" he demanded. It was hard to read his expression with those strange eyes...but Nyota thought he may be angry.
"I have a Vulcan science officer, but for the most part, we are not Vulcans." Kirk said. "I am Captain Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise. We serve the Federation- which was founded by Vulcans. We were sent here to check on you."
The Koshaak seemed to calm down. "Ah, yes. Two hundred and three years ago, we were told others may come. The Vulcans were not friendly. I hope you are, Captain Kirk. Come to my palace at sunset for dinner, and bring others- my guards will expect you. There is much to discuss between us."
The viewscreen went blank, and Kirk turned to Spock with risen eyebrows.
"Well, he didn't invite us so much as command us, did he?" Kirk asked.
"Captain, the Koshaak would not be used to politely asking others. He is the high leader of all of Kathosia." Spock replied. Kirk nodded, and looked around.
"Well, who wants to come to dinner at a palace?" Kirk asked. Everyone was immediately clamoring for his attention- it had been a long time since anyone had been off the ship to relax. "Okay- Bones, I guess you can come- Spock, of course, even though I don't think the Kathosians will like you- Uhura, you're coming too."
Nyota looked up sharply at Kirk, but he was already turning away, making some sort of joke to McCoy about what the Kathosian women would look like. Nyota then turned her gaze to Spock. She was sure that he felt her sudden fear and reluctance over their link.
"Spock, help me! I don't want to go!" she said desperately. She was still wary about going on away missions.
"Captain." Spock said, stepping down into the sunken area where Kirk sat in his chair. "I request that Lieutenant Uhura stay behind. After Scorpius Three-"
"Spock, she'll be fine. The Kathosians are peaceful. This is a very straightforward mission- assess how much they've advanced over the last two hundred years. No dangers involved, I promise. I need to make sure Uhura can go on away missions- if she can't, that could be a problem." Kirk said. "Stop being overprotective. I'm sure Lieutenant Uhura will want to record the Kathosians' language. From what I've read in the archives, they have several different dialects, a few of which haven't been recorded yet. So leave it alone- that's an order."
Kirk turned away again, and Spock turned to regard Nyota silently.
"I tried, ashayam." he replied. Nyota sighed.
"That's fine. I can go. Have you submitted the leave request yet?"
"No. I am waiting until this mission is completed. We should have time to stop at New Vulcan on our way to our next mission in the Rigel system."
"Have you even mentioned it to Kirk yet? It's been two days, Spock." Nyota replied, frowning slightly.
"Have patience, Nyota." Spock said. He glanced at a monitor at his station. "Captain, it is almost sunset. We should prepare to leave for the surface."
"Right, of course. Come on, then, everyone- to the transporter room." Kirk said, heading that way. Nyota hesitated, and thought about voicing her wish to stay- before deciding that that wasn't very professional of her. She sighed as she followed them.
"No harm will come to you if I can stop it." came Spock's voice. "Captain Kirk is correct. This should be a very uneventful mission."
But as Nyota stood on the transporter pad, waiting to be beamed down, she thought to herself- I have a really bad feeling about this...
A/N: Time for some action...the next few chapters will be about Kathosia.
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