When Nyanta followed the junior members of the guild out of the kitchen, Naotsugu looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Not of surprise, but of asking if he was going to be okay. Nyanta nodded a tip of the head at him. He stayed put on the couch anyway. His presence at times like this was just as anchoring as when he stood as Guardian in battle. Akatsuki watched with concerned and sympathetic eyes as well, participating from her chosen place for the day. Nyanta obediently and naturally took the 'hot seat', since it was his for this discussion. When the five were arrayed and giving him their full attention, which made his ears and tail flick slightly in discomfort, he began.

"If mew will recall, one of the issues Shiroe-ichi is working on is the issue of why the half-beast races are beginning to have troubles, and seem to be reverting to more beast-like behaviors." The five nodded. "I'm having the same purroblems. Purrcy explained her theory the first evening she was here and we don't have reason to disagree. She's also having them." He tipped his head, thinking. "She said then that it's a similar purroblem to when the flavor text of items began to become real. We Adventurers have been wearing our beast halves as 'costumes'. That's becoming no longer possible. The beast half is becoming real in the same way."

The expected looks of stress, concern, and sympathy went through the listeners. Tetora's look became one of resigned understanding and he nodded. "We of the cross-gendered went through it earlier, late in the first year. It was very difficult and some still haven't recovered. I was stubborn, but even still it wasn't until she scolded and taught me that I was able to understand how to really live properly. I'm still working on it, but I'm feeling much better now." He got curious looks. "Ah, she said, in effect, that it doesn't matter what the outside is, or what circumstances are forced on us, it's what we choose on the inside to be or remain anyway." He shrugged. "I suppose we hear that in different ways all the time, but maybe this time I was ready to understand it...and she gave me an example I could understand and relate to." Akatsuki nodded from her place.

Nyanta waited until they were ready to listen again. "Because she is here, Shiroe-ichi now has a way to learn of a solution to help Akiba and the Adventurers. Purrcy herself is an experimenter, and is willing to help him. She has also asked if I would help her. ...If mew remember from yesterday, she called herself the First of many things, and particularly of learning how the bodies of Adventurers have their own way to be naturally." They nodded. "Yesterday evening, she called this way of being she has been living as the 'First Wild Adventurer'. All of the Firsts that come to the half-beasts happen to her first."

Nyanta took a breath and his tail twitched rather violently and his ears went down unhappily. "She has just entered the beginning of her heat as of this morning." He needed to say it for Naotsugu and Akatsuki's sake as well, so they understood, but it was hard to admit, and the looks of dismay on the juniors' faces was hard to see. Nyanta looked at Naotsugu instead, since he knew well enough already and knew to stay calm and unperturbed.

"She told me she would be when I talked to her in the afternoon two days ago. Our arrangement is that I'm protecting her from the other half-beasts by being her mate. We can only assume that we will follow the patterns we expect to see in full beasts. An unmated female in heat will be beset by groups of males. A mated one will be marked and only that one male will touch her. Shiroe-ichi has locked her into the guild hall in case that isn't sufficient."

The girls' eyes were very wide and Minori wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "That - that sounds awful. Terrible things will happen if that's true and no one understands."

Nyanta nodded. "Indeed. ...Purrcy, as a veterinarian in this world, understands all too well. ...On Earth, the only thing that can prevent female animals from going into heat is spaying. Neutering prevents the males from having the desire or interest regardless. Purrcy's first experiment will be to see if half-beast Adventurers can be spayed and neutered. She and I will be the experimental cases. The chances of it working are slim, as the expectation is that upon death and resurrection, the parts removed during the surgery will reappear. It would be a temporary solution at best in that case, though it may be one that is taught to the medical Adventurers and People of the Land anyway, and would have to be repeated after every resurrection for every half-beast."

"Purrcy is hoping that if she can add a Hacker spell to the surgery, adding a tag to indicate the Adventurer has been spayed or neutered, that she can make it permanent. It will likely take several days of experimentation for us to know what will work or what will not. We will begin the experiments immediately tomorrow morning, because as soon as she is in full heat, she will not be able to continue with them. ...We may have to begin them as soon as she is done speaking with Shiroe-ichi tonight." Nyanta looked at Naotsugu again and his ears twitched back towards Akatsuki. They both nodded.

"And...if they don't work?" Tetora asked, mostly calm.

"Then we will mate and the second half of the experimentation will begin," Nyanta said flatly.

After a stunned silence, Isuzu asked, "What will that mean?"

"It means we'll see if we become the First Parents. The experiment to see if Adventurers can, or even must purrocreate will begin."

Rudy's eyes went very big and he paled. "That...would...be very bad," he said in a small voice, very uncharacteristic of him.

Everyone's eyes went to him. "Yes," Nyanta said to him, the word weighted heavily. "We well understand the threat this possibility holds in the mind and eyes of the People of the Land. It would take years, maybe even generations of lives of the People of the Land, for us to learn how long it takes for even one generation of Adventurers to die. As an early estimate, assuming we have children, Purrcy thinks that we will each live many hundreds of years, and the Cathedrals will not cease to function until the third and fourth generations begin to die.

It would be to us as if Dragons had come to our world to stay. Our lore says they did once exist all over the face of our whole world, but in our day, none exist. Humans killed them all, if they did exist, so long ago that we no longer know if it was truth or not. We know the final outcome in the end. ...Please believe me, we are all hoping that it isn't possible to purrocreate, just as fervently as we are hoping to find a way home. None of mew will breathe a word of this outside the walls of this building. This falls under the Shiroe-ichi rule. He, and only he, will let the world know the summary of the purroblem and it's solution. Utter chaos and war will be the result otherwise." He looked at Rudy until he swallowed and nodded, then at the rest of them all very soberly. They could only return his look, all of them rather pale.

He stood, not particularly looking at them. "We are on purrpose as of this morning staying separated and apart so that we can get the first set of experiments completed. Akatsuki-chan, she says she'll come sleep with mew tonight and mew're free to sit on her or in the doorway with meowr blade between us both. I'm considering sleeping on the roof again." He walked into the kitchen and headed for the sink. Doing the dishes would keep him occupied. And then he would begin making food to put in those dishes for her.

The quiet voices of his guildmates being talked down by Naotsugu, with the occasional comment by Akatsuki were a peaceful noise in the background of his warm soapy water meditation. The rhythmical action of select, scrub around the inside, wipe around the outside, rinse, place, occupied his attention.

He was just getting to filling the drying counter of the sink when he realized that the pile wasn't increasing. His attention returned to the room a bit and he caught the movements from the corner of his eye. Hands were reaching in and picking up dishes. He turned and looked behind him in surprise. Touya and Minori were drying the dishes, then handing them to Rudy and Isuzu who were stacking them neatly on trays on the table. Tetora was just returning to the table and Nyanta looked on the other side to see that he was stacking the trays up on the side table he'd been having Minori put Purrcy's dishes on before. His whiskers twitched in a smile. People like these made this guild a good place to be. He returned to the dish in his paws.

"Nyanta, what are you going to do with all these dishes?" Tetora asked, having seen him looking around and being bored while waiting for the next tray to be completed.

"Maiow. These are the dishes from Purrcy's boxes. She will need them refilled before leaving again. Would mew all like to help me refill them, nyan?"

"Could we, please?" Minori asked hopefully.

"We'd need the boxes," Touya interjected.

Nyanta nodded. "Minorichi, make some tea for Purrcy and Shiroe-ichi and take it to Akatsuki-chan. Have her return with the food boxes."

"Okay," Minori said cheerfully. She slipped out of her position as dish dryer and turned on the heat below the teapot that always sat full of water on the back burner of the stove top. Nyanta instructed her on how to put the herbs into the cups and just when the water would be hot enough to pour over them, then let her use her newly learned natural cooking skills for herself. Nyanta handed four pieces of fruit to Touya. The younger boy got a sparkle in his eye and fetched two bowls, a cutting board and knife. Rudy stepped in as dish dryer and Tetora helped get the remaining already dry dishes on the drying side of the sink put on the tray.

In this way they spent an enjoyable day working together in the kitchen, coming up with many good ideas of their favorite dishes they wanted to share with Purrcy, and getting to practice the new skills she'd taught them, while she and their Guildmaster worked hard for them and for all of the Adventurers of Akiba...and perhaps the world. It was what they did, the purpose of their guild, and the goal of their Guildmaster. They had started on the next adventure and today were doing their parts to get to the goal, and having the best time doing it together.

-:-:-:-:-

Shiroe looked at Purrcy. She was in cat form, and now he knew why. She was exhausted, and he'd told her to sleep. It had taken half of a second for her to start lightly snoring on the couch, right where she'd been sitting to talk to him. This battle wasn't finished, but he'd already won. He wanted to pull a blanket over her, but it was redundant since she was covered in fur and a cat right now. Instead he put his hand lightly on her head and just lightly brushed her fur, then removed his hand so he wouldn't wake her. He moved to lean back on the front of his desk to come down from the battle himself.

Purrcy was obviously not experienced in group battle dynamics. She'd never had the opportunity to play in a raid, or even a small group battle. He knew how to handle solo players brought in to play with experienced groups, and Log Horizon knew how to train her so she would fit in just fine and become one with them. That wouldn't take much effort on their part, though it might on hers. The main part, that had been the cause of today's exhaustion, was that in order for her to play with them, she had to tell Shiroe everything about herself. She'd understood that, but not really been prepared for what it meant. He'd not quite been prepared for it either, though in hindsight it should have been obvious.

Shiroe had made the initial mistake of asking her the details of what she could do. She'd given him the next level down summary from what she'd said to the officers the afternoon before. Kind of a pseudocode of the pseudocode, or an outline where the bullet points were: 1) Offensive Spells, 2) Defensive Spells, 3) Recovery Spells, 4) Damage Reduction Spells, 5) Data Gathering Spells, 6) Data Changing Spells, 7)... He still wasn't sure he'd reached the end of that bullet list yet. He'd stopped it right about there and rethought his attack strategy. He'd originally approached it the way he always did when thinking about the four Classes and their capabilities. It had been an abrupt reminder at the outset that she was outside. Outside the box, outside the game limits, outside his standard of "memorize the skillsets of the players and put them together as a whole". Not even she memorized more than a few of her spells.

Her magic was a language. Languages were extremely robust, but they all had limits and boundaries. So he'd reconfigured his thinking and asked her what those were. What were the limitations? What couldn't she do? How far had she tested the boundaries for herself? That had been the right attack to take and he'd been pushing her to understand the full space her magic filled. They'd both been learning things. In learning the boundaries, he'd been learning what she probably could do and what she couldn't do. In asking for the boundaries, she'd been learning just to what level of detail he needed to work. He had been slowly rethinking and refining his attack as she wore down faster and faster. He'd finally let her sleep this time instead of just rest because she wasn't even lasting an hour now before her brain shut down. Just that in itself was a limitation.

Her own mind was the source of the magic. He'd watched the MP drop the more he pushed her, but even more telling was that the harder he pushed, the faster her HP dropped. That had surprised him and when he'd asked her about it, she hadn't known, but wasn't surprised. After all she was the one that felt the effects. Right now her HP was nearly depleted. Actually, her HP was, when full, a lot lower than her MP, rather appropriately for a magic user. When they trained her to work with them, he wanted to include physical attacks, since she could do them, too, to increase her overall HP.

Normally, from the Adventurer/Elder Tales game player point of view, he wouldn't have even considered thinking of it, but he'd learned something else from the last few days with her that he'd tested when he realized how low her HP was. It looked like it was a truth - at least for her - and he thought it would work. If she practiced something, all of the related skills, attributes, and any other related stat changed. If she worked at hitting things with a sword, her strength, speed, sword skill, perhaps agility, and HP would all rise. He wasn't sure if defense would or if she would have to take damage for that to go up. The reason it worked was because she was real in this world. Just like if it had been her body on Earth, if she were to exercise, all of those properties would increase independently yet interdependently. Since she was the most real of the Adventurers, he wasn't sure if it worked for anyone else - yet - but he wouldn't be surprised if it did - eventually.

He checked her stats again. He was watching the percentage increase over time. That was another detail he needed and it was easiest to get it on his own, since it needed to happen anyway and he had other questions for her that he couldn't get so easily. That had been one of his refinements to his attack. Only ask for the things he couldn't figure out on his own. Another one had been: if a limit isn't known, instead of track it down right now, wait until he needed to know it. She was request-driven. If he wanted to have her cast a spell, then he could ask her to do it far enough in advance that she could cast it. She did know generally how difficult a spell would be and how long it would take to cast it once the request was made. He'd learned that when she'd cast the spell to hide her Summon whistle on his person, that one example teaching him more than any questions of "what can you do" could have. She did have cantrips - simpler spells that she could cast quickly and easily with almost no cost to them. When he'd understood that, he'd almost strayed away from his new, correct attack method and asked her for the list, then remembered it was probably several days worth long and it should wait for another time.

That had been another refinement. Only ask for what he really needed to know today, right now. Sometimes the simple outline was sufficient and going deep just derailed them. Other times he knew with his Strategist's instincts that he had to have the deep details today or he was going to regret not having asked. That was when he pushed her. Drove her to the depths of her capacity...and it was very deep. He'd almost not made it up to air the first time, when he hadn't quite been as prepared as he'd learned to become now. She'd kindly shown him the way back and they'd taken a break so they both could recover and he could rethink doing that again. That was an attack spell that had a long recovery and recast time on his part.

Shiroe took a deep breath and folded his arms. He looked up at the ceiling, making a few calculations and adjustments from this last round, then he closed his eyes and admitted it was time to retreat. He walked over to the door and walked out, leaving behind a guild hall lock on it so that Akatsuki was the only one who could go in or out. The diminutive ninja was outside his door, not surprisingly, though she didn't have to be...ever. She just chose to be and he'd only ever been able to just accept it. Even if something made him uncomfortable it wasn't his way to make people change just to suit his whims...unless it affected everyone. If it just affected him, he went along with it, mostly. He looked at Akatsuki now, while he was facing the door. She was looking back up at him from her knees, where she was most comfortable, waiting to see if he had instructions.

"You okay?" he asked her quietly.

"Me, my...," she blushed, "Shiroe? ...Ah, yes, fine, ...thank you. And you?" That change had been one of the requests he'd made from their conversation two days ago. If she really did like him in that way, then she couldn't continue to stay formal when they spoke. Formal speech like that in private continued to hold anyone at arm's length.

"Done for a bit," he answered it vaguely on purpose.

"Are you?" she asked looking at him closely. "Your eyes say you're not."

He blinked, then realized he was still feeling that tension of being in battle. He paused to consider why, running through the various options, then shook his head. "No, I do have one more, but not with Purrcy." He took another breath and settled into the new battle, now that he saw it more clearly. It was smaller, but needed careful handling, and he had things to set before he began. That's why he'd stopped to talk with just her. He looked at her again. "Akatsuki, I need a shield for this next one. I need you. Will you help me?"

She blinked and rose to her feet. "Of course, Shiroe," she bowed to him slightly.

"Where is Nyanta?"

"On the roof. Naotsugu is watching over him."

"And the rest?"

She turned and pointed into the common room space. He glanced over his shoulder. The five junior members were all arrayed in the chairs and on the couch cuddled under blankets, not really awake, not really asleep. He turned back to her. "Come up with me," he said quietly. When someone stirred as they passed, he quietly said, "Stay here and watch." They settled, but he could feel that they weren't quite happy with that order. He'd ask after he was settled himself.

On the third floor landing he paused, then led her to one of the empty rooms. "Akatsuki," he said gently, "Purrcy explained to me why she's been in cat form so frequently. You need to know so you know how to be my shield." His faithful shadow nodded that she was listening. He took a breath. If he wasn't in battle mode he'd be mortified to even open his mouth. "Because they are half-beast, half-human, the pheromones of being in heat not only affect the beast half, but also the human half. It cuts the effect for her to be full beast, since it will only affect the beast half." Akatsuki was looking sympathetic towards the two felinoids, but that wasn't where he was going with this. "It also cuts the effect she has on non-beast races."

Slowly Akatsuki's eyes got very wide. "Even you, my Liege?" she slipped into the formal from her surprise since it was the automatic now. Still, he put his finger on her lips to remind her. "Sorry. ...Shiroe?"

He leaned over, not able to say it any other way since he'd been fighting being in that room too long. He cupped her head with his hand as he moved to kiss the soft lips he'd touched and then been consumed by since he'd done it. She froze, then sighed a little unhappily when he released her lips. "I've been in that room all day with her. Even in cat form, it is so full of pheromones now even you are in danger." He said it without moving away from being very close to her.

"That - that is very powerful," Akatsuki said weakly. "You're restraint ...accentuated by your obliviousness ...is very difficult to overcome."

"It is, isn't it?" he finally released her and took a step back from her to breathe fresh air again. Breathing her distinct smell had helped. She wasn't in heat and it was obvious, though how he should know he had no idea. He walked over to the window and opened it to lean on the sill for more outside air. Maybe it was the difference now that he had something to compare it against, and maybe something had changed in him, had affected his own "natural" body in a way new to the "internal" in-control him.

Akatsuki stayed in the place she was, though she turned to watch him move. "Nyanta ...he said that she's crossed over and it's begun. ...He thinks, if possible, the surgery should start before tomorrow morning. He didn't say it's full, yet ...but that was this morning."

Shiroe only turned his head slightly to hear, not wanting to look at Akatsuki just yet. "Well...I guess I can't say, but it has certainly been slowly increasing all day." He looked back out the window. "I rather thought so, actually. I've called an end to the information gathering for now. I've got the basic outline, though we aren't done yet." He had to pull his body back from wanting to go finish it right now and took another deep breath of fresh air, trying to smell Akatsuki instead and finding he could since he'd kissed her. He put his hand to his nose - the one that had held her head just before and he could smell that also. He leaned on that elbow, putting that hand close to his nose while he spoke. "I've come out for us to discuss how we're going to approach the surgeries and the experiments. I'm going to let her sleep for four and a half hours. She should be fully recovered by then."

"Fully recovered?"

"Yes. It turns out it was a real battle. When her mind is pushed, she loses HP rapidly. She'll need all of it for the surgeries and the experimentation." He turned to look at Akatsuki. "It's like the graduate exams. When we're done taking them each day we barely make it home and collapse for eight hours only to get up and do it again. She has that same, very real reaction, visible on the status bars."

Akatsuki's eyes were even wider now. "She - she's really 'real'?"

Shiroe nodded. "Every aspect in the stats correlates and proves it. ...I've been wondering if she's been brought here at this time because she finally is. That she was kept outside on purpose as a specific test subject to see if it could even happen." He looked at Akatsuki, who was still looking at him with utmost trust. "I've also wondered if she's been sent here to 'infect' the rest of us, to make us become 'real' too, even if we don't want to...and also if she's been the one who's made the rest of us become more real over time. She was a First in so many things. How much of what we are now compared to what we were before is because of changes of this world, changes imposed by whatever brought us here, ...and changes she made happen because of her strong will and desire that forced it for her, and in that forcing, has forced it on all the rest of us?"

Akatsuki's face showed her confusion and a bit of hurt. Shiroe shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's come out harsh. I'd like to not blame her, and I don't want to harbor ill will towards her. It's just that it's a possibility that shouldn't be left off the table. I wish I had an answer for it. If she is a carrier, she should be removed quickly...but it's already too late. She's already infected all of Log Horizon. We know how to keep secrets, but...," he shrugged. "And, we can't send her away until the experiments are completed. We can't let this issue of the beast-halfs becoming real go at this point. It has to be dealt with properly." He looked out the window again, thoughtful.

"I think," he said slowly, saying it out loud for the first time, "that for me...it's this that makes me the most angry. That we are being used against ourselves. I'm having to clean-up, divert, stem. I'm not allowed to step out ahead, build, accomplish. Not since the Round Table was formed. In her words, I showed my fingerprint early, and they've prevented me ever since."

There was a light touch on his arm and he looked to see Akatsuki standing next to him, her hand on his arm, looking up at him earnestly. He smiled slightly at her, then leaned down again, making her stiffen slightly, though she didn't move. This time he'd moved to put his lips next to her ear. Very softly he whispered, "But, they've given me the means to begin an underground resistance against them in giving her to me, one that she's as desperate to begin as I am. Together, we both can see the solution. Working in concert, slowly so they can't understand it, we'll begin to win from this time on. ...Will you come with us?"

Akatsuki was still for just a moment longer, then gave her answer. Turning her head towards him, she placed her lips on his and kissed him. When she released him, she said, "As long as you keep walking, I'll walk next to you."

He smiled. "And if I stop to rest?"

She smiled shyly back. "I will hand you tea, ...and a red bun."

He stood straight again and put a hand on her head, then rather shyly wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. Looking out the window again, he said, "I think I would like that. It will make the journey seem like home."

They stood together until he felt sufficiently recovered. Her quiet physical presence - particularly touching his - helping him to calm more quickly. After two years of having her always with him, quietly watching over him, she was already a calming influence. And not even his own obliviousness could last that long, really. He might not be able to read women and their emotions well, and Akatsuki was terrible at communicating generally, and her desires even more, but really. As an Enchanter who was also a Strategist, who had to understand every desire and nuance of every member of the guild, raid, or party, he couldn't miss it over time. It had stood out eventually in his calculations. That she always wanted to be near him. That she was most fierce if she was obeying one of his own commands, or if she thought he was the most in danger. That she had begun protecting him more openly from other girls and women, even though in very quiet, slight ways and words. That other women more openly smiled when they looked at her when he was with her, the ones who understood that she'd claimed him and who wanted to see her doing her best.

He'd also seen the signs of all the Adventurers, since that's what he watched most closely. It wasn't just the half-beasts. All of the Adventurers were begin to have an increased interest in settling down with the opposite sex. He hadn't told anyone he'd seen that yet. But Purrcy had known as well. When she'd talked to him alone about it this day, she'd told him who was next in his own guild, and likely when it would happen. He couldn't argue with her. He'd already made the same calculations from his own data. She'd come at it from the natural side and they agreed. When he'd seen it for all Adventurers, he could no longer deny, or turn a blind eye, to what he was seeing in Akatsuki. He'd since then, in the back of his mind, been considering his own answer to it.

He was a careful person by nature. Shy, reticent in relationships, difficult to get along with really, particularly when he did finally decide to move and take what he wanted, but he'd also come to realize that he needed what Purrcy had seen she needed. Someone to protect them. To be their shield in this thing. As he'd been with Purrcy today, his body wanting her more and more despite his personal preferences, he'd understood even better. For all they were similar, and would make very good partners in this kind of battle that was ahead of them, that wasn't the kind of relationship that would protect either of them. It would devastate them, and if an enemy came in between them, it would cripple them, make them completely unable to act and move forward the way they needed to. ...He'd even wondered if she'd come now because the third party wanted them to do just that. Become a couple so they could be destroyed.

When he'd had that thought, he realized she'd also already had that thought, too. That was why she'd asked for Nyanta as soon as she had the opportunity to. She didn't want her goals, their goals, toyed with any more than he did. Because they each had someone else they could call on, they should, and she had made Akatsuki move, given her the push Shiroe needed her to have so he could finally place her where he needed her. He sighed and turned to put his head on top of Akatsuki's, having to lean down a bit to do it. "Shiroe?" she asked him.

"Sorry. I'm feeling a bit guilty at the moment. I hope you'll forgive me."

"...I don't think there's anything to forgive?"

"Even if I've been being Machiavelli?"

She laughed lightly. "If you weren't being Machiavelli, you wouldn't be Shiroe. ...You know," she hesitated, working to find her words. He waited, like he had been since she'd come with them at the beginning. "I like Machiavelli. I ...love," he could tell she was blushing again, "watching you work hard to win. It ...makes me proud ...to walk beside you."

"Even if at those times I'm using you?"

"I'm your tool. ...And I'm kept sharp and keen when you use me." She pulled back making him look her in the eyes. "I want you to use me as much as you need to. In whatever way you need me to. It is then...that...I feel most loved."

He was struck by her words and his mind lost control. He was holding her in his arms, crushing her lips with his, the pain in his own lips bringing him back. He pulled back. "Ah...sorry." He slipped to his knees, holding onto her arms just below the shoulders looking at her in the eyes. "She's infected me today and I have almost no control over the natural body. It very much wants to use you right now, but I don't want to do that to you. It isn't right."

Akatsuki looked at him soberly. "Shiroe ...in what way exactly ...do you need me to be your shield?"

He looked at her in the eyes for a moment longer, then looked down. Very carefully he let go of her arms and quickly grabbed hold of his own, holding his folded arms tightly to himself and beginning to tremble. He took a deep breath, the words painful before they came. "Just enough ...to claim. ...Just enough ...to be claimed..." He had to breathe again, then looked up at her again, the anguish coming out. "So I don't fight Nyanta for the right ...to mate with the one in heat."

Shiroe fought to keep breathing. Fought to keep still. Fought to let Akatsuki choose. He'd never felt like this before and, as he'd been warned, it frightened him to feel so unable to control himself. So he focused on his breathing. As long as he could hold still and breathe. He felt a gentle touch on his cheek and he looked up, barely capable of seeing, so he focused on her eyes. They were kind, but determined. She slowly released him and walked to the door. For a moment his body panicked, but he held it still. Whatever her decision was, it was hers to make. He watched as she closed the door. She stood there for a moment, then said quietly. "Shiroe. Lock the door."

He did, naturally and instinctively, almost without thought. He couldn't move anyway to make the extraneous hand gestures in the air. "Ah - ah, I did," he said it out loud, realizing that since he hadn't moved, she wouldn't know.

She turned and came back to him. He watched her, not able to take his eyes off of her and the way she moved her petite body with controlled grace, her long black hair swaying behind her. In a corner of his mind he noticed by the time she was standing in front of him again her boots were gone and she was barefoot, but he couldn't register it's meaning. She looked at him soberly. "Shiroe ...I'm glad you've trusted me ...enough to tell me ...and come to me. But ...you can't have her. ...You are mine." Her eyes flashed, and his body responded, a shudder rippling down his back. He took one last breath, watching her get into her hand-to-hand combat pose low to the ground, and let go.

-:-:-:-:-

Tetora clasped his hands together in front of him. Girl hands. Petite with the fingernails rounded just perfectly. The knees the fair arms rested on were delicate bridges between perfectly shaped upper and lower legs. All the proportions of this body were perfectly designed...all by him...and he'd hated it since he got here...enough that he'd just used it the same as he did everyone who looked at it and lusted after it. ...To teach them what he'd had the great misfortune to learn - that just because you might want something, that didn't mean that getting it was a blessing, or even a good. Once you had something, sometimes you learned too late that it wasn't really what you wanted. That anger and hatred had translated to the entire world around him ...until he'd been picked up by Shiroe to go on a massive, first-time, super-raid.

The raid hadn't changed him, but the fighting spirit of the Silver Swords and the way Shiroe had worked so hard to see that the ultimate goal had been reached had given him a glimmer of hope. Had uncovered who he used to be. Reminded him of why. Why he'd wanted to be a gamer in the first place. Why he wanted to be so meticulous in choosing this form. Why he was himself, and that he liked himself - the original him. Everyone had worked hard, and had nearly lost ...technically had lost since they'd all died. But the two guildmasters, in their own ways, had said, "So what? Losing just means working harder to win, finding a new way, thinking differently." And that had made him realize that he'd been stuck, only thinking in one way, losing because he wouldn't keep trying.

Naotsugu's placid constant being himself, no matter what, was what made Tetora decide on Log Horizon over Silver Sword. He saw in Naotsugu the example of what he needed to learn. Shiroe to teach him to think differently, Naotsugu to teach him how to be himself, calmly, no matter what. He'd learned things from everyone else, but he'd been very nervous, still very unsure, still didn't trust himself, which made it hard for him to trust those around him fully. He'd actually calmed down a lot since then, about a year ago. The constancy of the guild, just like that of Naotsugu, and the time to really learn each other in all the practices they did together until they were a real team, a real party, had helped a lot. But then he'd been stuck in the patterns set when he hadn't been so calm, and because he still didn't really trust himself, he didn't know how to change. There was an example missing he didn't have to follow out of where he was this time.

To have Purrcy arrive and hand it to him, and not even in her own person, but merely in the example of her father, a man Tetora would never know... Tetora shook his head, straight idol pink hair hitting his face lightly. That man and Purrcy were already teaching him to accept this body in this world. To admit he'd done a damn fine job getting everything just right. To accept he wouldn't ever love it, would always be angry he'd been dragged here and stuck in it when he'd wanted to be able to see it, not just let others see it. That it was okay to feel all that but still respect himself and work harder at remembering just who he was and wanted to be so he did have something to love again inside himself. He was pretty sure he'd never be able to love someone outside himself. This body required a male partner and he wasn't at all interested in that. He'd already lived through that once and had stubbornly clung to that one last desperate refusal to give in to this world.

He knew what Purrcy and Nyanta were going through. Nyanta didn't want to give in to it either. The year of living with him had made that obvious. Both how private he was, and how he was nice to all the girls but held them at arm's length said it. Tetora had only had that one choice because he was of the race "human". Humans could choose their partners and the timing. But Nyanta and Purrcy wouldn't have a choice, the one being stolen by this world right now. Tetora had seen the look on Shiroe's face, knew how long they'd been together in the same room, remembered what Nyanta had said about her already beginning to be in heat. He knew where Shiroe and Akatsuki had gone, what was going to happen. It was the only way to save the guild from being ripped apart tonight. Tears stung his eyes. He understood completely now why Purrcy had given that push to Akatsuki.

It may even have partially been why she'd scolded him. To continue to come between Naotsugu and Marie if this was going to get worse, like it looked like it would, would further fracture the guild. Without even being a member more than a few hours, Purrcy was making sure the guild stayed whole, for their sake. And her reward was that she would lose, and Nyanta would pay a heavy price to make it so she didn't have to lose horribly. He was extremely grateful to her, but he hated this world all over again, and who or whatever had brought them here. He was in agreement with her words. When the "natural" Adventurers were let loose, a head would roll somewhere and then be ground to dust and flung into space.

But he also knew that they would fight every step of the way. Nyanta had told it to them, the fight plan. Like in the raid with Silver Sword guild, not one of them would give up along the way. And if they really didn't have a choice, then they'd made the choice for themselves beforehand, and they would turn it to an advantage as much as possible. Like losing then getting back up and trying again from a different angle until they were lying gasping for breath, pounded into the ground, but everyone still living and the final boss a pile of treasure on the ground waiting to be divided among the party members. With all his heart and soul he knew that was what was going to happen because since that time, all the time he'd followed Shiroe, that's what had happened every time, and he'd thrown himself into every battle every time with just as much effort and desperation to make sure it did happen.

Purrcy was exactly the same. In three short, but what felt like very long days, she'd already shown it. She fought the same, thought the same, cared the same. He was just as proud to call her a guildmate and party member as all the rest of them, and he wanted to help her, and help in the fight just as much. He'd been on the same page as the other four in making Nyanta explain it to them so they could help. Now they needed to let the Guildmaster know the same. That they were still here, still waiting for orders, and would march with him without orders or with them.

"Get up," he said, then repeated it a little louder, getting up himself and going around to shake everyone awake. "We're going up to the roof."

"What about Miss Purrcy?" Rudy murmured sleepily.

"Shiroe's locked her in and we aren't on the list to get her out. Let's go, before he leaves us out again." That got everyone moving.

He hung back and let them get ahead a bit, then made an excuse to stop by his room. He'd heard what floor they'd stopped at. It wasn't hard to figure out which room, either. The door was locked, of course, as it should be. He wasn't here to open it. With firm determination he lifted his hand and pounded on the door. "Don't give up! Do what needs to be done, but don't give up!" There was silence. Good. "We're waiting on the roof for you. You aren't going to do this without us. We are a party - all of us. Finish it and get your butts upstairs." He turned and walked back to the stairs. They didn't need these two failing either, and sometimes someone else needed to be the cheerleader. That was him, obviously.


Note: Most people who follow anime/manga/Japanese fiction/etc. understand that while the literature may show it, the reality in Japan is that the gblt population is extremely small and still very suppressed. Even those who find themselves part of that small percentage of the population hide it from themselves deeply so as to not bring dishonor to their families. Only a very brave or desperate few admit it to anyone. However, as long as nothing is actually admitted, and they can appear normal most of the time...

...Ah, you'll notice I don't put much of Tetora's wild idol personality in my story. It's because (embarrassed) I don't know how to write that kind of character trait in. I do also think that as he calms down, both as described here over the last year-plus, and as my story unfolds, he doesn't need to. He is accepted by the guild regardless, and he wants to have the guild itself not chaotic. It's his place of safety. (Again, a Japanese trait generally. He might still behave that way in public, though. I'm not sayin' one way or the other there. Get him mad and it's his weapon, is what I think.)