Chapter 9: Not a Morning Person

The world staggered and stumbled out of line, then suddenly it snapped back into focus and found its feet.

Lizz managed to blink mutely as she watched Sirius approach the Gryffindor table the next morning and sit himself down next to Remus and Annie. Her eyes couldn't get bigger. Gently she elbowed James, who looked up with a questioning smile, and pointed quietly across the table at Sirius. James choked on his eggs, drawing everyone's attention from their food and eventually on Sirius's hair. Everyone as in every living and dead (ghosts) being currently in the Great Hall.

"Uh, I like what you did with your hair" Annie remarked politely, "very, um, different."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Sirius snapped. He was not a morning person. Especially when he had woken up early for Quidditch practice, only to learn that Patricia Wood had suddenly transferred to Beauxbaton's, and practice was cancelled (He was slightly glad a certain ex was gone, considering she had chased his unconscious floating body halfway across the castle with a broomstick in hand).

"Well!" he yelled when no one answered. There were a few sniggers from the Slytherin table, but everyone else was waiting to see the reaction. When you live in Hogwarts long enough you learn it's better to watch how something reacts before getting too close. Annie fumbled in her bag and eventually produced a compact that she passed silently to Sirius.

Sirius sighed and held the mirror up to his black hair, or… his purple, pink, and black hair!

Then the world snapped back into focus and Sirius calmly put down the compact and walked out of the Great Hall. From years of experience, Sirius knew the best thing to do was act cool and pretend that slap across the face didn't hurt quite so much. As the Hall erupted into laughter Vivian slipped out of the doors after Sirius. Lizz plugged her ears as Peter laughed shrilly on her left.

Sirius Orion Black was not a morning person. His hair was black again, though it had taken over an hour to find Professor Flitwick to have the charm removed.

At least Flitwick hadn't laughed, well not very hard anyway. The jeers had been the worst, if he heard "nice hair" ever again he would crack (though according to Remus and James, that had happened sometime around birth). Sirius leaned forward and watched Lawrence and James play wizard chess. Ever since Lizz had openly denied him, the acne faded two days ago, Sirius had started listening to what she said and watching what she did. Stopping and listening to her conversations had annoyed Lizz to no end and she couldn't imagine what compelled him to get anywhere near her since "The Acne Incident".

"Are you going to make a move Lizz? My knight just yawned." James said.

"I would, but it's very distracting with Black breathing down my neck!" Lizz snapped, Sirius sat back in his chair abruptly and crossed his arms. Lizz moved her castle forward a space and James moved his knight. Lizz's king tossed his crown down and her queen started crying.

"I win!" James punched the air triumphantly. James had somehow suckered the Marauders into giving the "Californians" a tour of Hogwarts. Sirius grumbled, they were just sitting around the common room, waiting for Jamie to wake up.

"When is she going to bloody wake up!" Sirius howled for the millionth time, no one looked up. "Damn it, I'll wake her up myself," Sirius said and began to fumble around in his robes, Remus only smiled,

"How, Sirius? Despite your claims to being a sex god, you still can't get into the girls dorms." Remus said, but Sirius smiled Marauderishly, and said,

"Don't have to."

James looked up and smiled too.

"Using the bucket?"

Sirius nodded and pulled out a thimble-sized bucket. He pulled out his wand as well and tapped it twice and it grew to a normal size. He tapped it three times and whispered "Jamie Bilden" and let go. The bucket floated carefully, so as not to spill the water that now filled it, and moved towards the girl's dormitories. Just as it edged out of sight, Annie asked,

"This is probably a stupid question, but what is that going to do?" She looked at the devilishly light in eyes of the Marauders as they watched the bucket go up the stairs. She and Lizz worriedly frowned and slowly they stood up.

"It's filled with ice water," James finally replied, "It'll find the victim, in this case Jamie, and douse her, then return the Pranker, Sirius, before she can do anything."

"What!" Lizz shrieked, "Accio! Accio! Dang it, it's not coming!"

"The bucket is imperious to all summoning charms, not to mention physical force, it's impossible to stop unless Sirius asks it to." Remus said, then frowned.

"Oh Shit!" Annie muttered, "Come on Lizz help me, we can use this couch." Together they overturned a couch, huddled behind it, and gestured for the guys to join them. Sirius and James laughed, thinking it was a dramatic joke. Like when people say something "blasphemous" and cover their heads, and everyone laughs when they ask if there's any lightning. Lizz and Annie remained.

A screech of pure, red-hot rage ripped through the common room. As if this weren't enough, Sirius's blood froze solid when he realized the bucket wasn't coming back. Instead there a wet blond head appeared at the bottom of the stairs, followed by Jamie, who screamed again in icy frustration and held a struggling bucket in her fist.

Slowly she stopped and looked the Marauders in the eye with snapping blue icicles. She smiled in a stretchy forced way and softly asked,

"Does this belong to anyone?" She held the squirming bucket up. Sirius edged forward,

"Now, why would you think that Jamie?" Innocence dripped from his words, but all their wands flew from their pockets and landed in front of her.

"Why? You dare ask? Why?" Jamie stepped forward, her voice ice, a maniac smile still plastered to her face. "You're asking why! I'll tell you why, you simpering bastard! Because some idiotic fool decided to wake me with a cold shower, on my one fucking day to sleep in! And incidentally," The Marauders stood in a group in front of her, wishing she would show anger, something besides the icy ripping voice, "this idiotic fool decided to write his name on the bottom of the bucket!" Jamie hurtled the bucket at Sirius with a screech, which knocked the wind out of him with and "oomph". "It says 'Property of Sirius Orion Black, the guy who just pranked you' you egotistical piece of shit!"

Wingardium Leviosa!

With a flick of her wand Jamie raised them into the air and spun them a couple times as she went over to the window and kicked it open with a socked foot. She could have easily opened it with her hand, but it made her feel better in a small way to kick it open. Peter was screaming how sick he was going to be as she flung them out the window towards the lake. She played with them with the giant squid and dunked them a few times, before sending them in the direction Lizz had said the Whomping Willow was, where she heard all of them screaming as she lazily kept them barely above the Willow's reach. She was going to bring them back, but spotted a group of Slytherins, and dropped them on top of the surprised group.

Jamie walked slowly back up the stairs and Lizz and Annie righted the couch and looked out the window to see the Slytherins surrounding four fifth years.

Jamie came into view, sipping reverently from a fizzing can of Diet Coke. Lizz rolled her eyes at this, soda was not for mornings. Jamie had on camo cargo pants with matching green robes, and stopped next to Annie and Lizz. She peered outside, squinting in the bright light, and turned around and picked up the wands on the floor. She handed them to Annie and said,

"Could you make sure they make it to the hospital or infirmary or whatever? Without being too beat up too, though I'm sure one of them will try to talk their way out of it. I'll meet you guys there in ten minutes." Annie nodded with a smile.

"Want to make sure your victims are okay?" Lizz said sarcastically. Jamie smiled.

"No, I want to make sure that girl Kelli is all right. Don't worry Lizz; James will look more dashing with a few scars." Lizz crossed her arms while Annie and Jamie laughed.

"See you there" Annie said as they walked out of the portrait.