Chapter 9

I stepped into our dorm and Sam immediately stood up to meet me, a mix of worry and frustration building in her eyes, "And where the fuck have you been?!"

I winced as the sounds left her mouth, the advil I had taken at Ezra's had worn off considerably, "Sam, please. Can we not do this right now?"

"No. Now tell me what the hell happened last night."

I walked to my desk and popped three more advil before collapsing onto my bed, "Nothing... It's nothing."

"Aria, I've been calling you non-stop. Tony won't stop texting me, he's really worried."

I laughed as I thought back to Tony leaving my drunken self alone in the middle of god knows where, "Tell him I'm fine and that he can go fuck himself." I knew I was being harsh, especially since he hadn't been completely wrong with his accusations, but I had a very low tolerance when it came to feeling threatened and the fact that I was still a bit hungover didn't help my bitterness.

"Okay, now you really need to tell me what happened."

"Honestly, it's no big deal. He got too drunk and became an asshole, that's all."

"Aria..."

"It was my fault anyways."

"I don't give a damn whose fault it was just tell me what's going on."

"We were walking, he started yelling, he punched a wall, and then he left." I said annoyed. That night was the last thing I wanted to think about.

"Okay..." she sat next to me, "I still have no idea what this is all about."

"He thinks I'm cheating on him."

"How could he ever think that?"

"I didn't see him the other day, when I was going out. I just wanted to be by myself for a bit, you know? He found out that I told you I was going to meet with him and he just assumed."

"Where did you go last night? I tried looking for you but I thought you might have gone back here."

"I'm not sure. I was wasted and we had been walking for a long time, I'd never seen that part of campus before. Once he left I just started wandering."

"That still doesn't tell me where you went."

My eyes began to feel droopy, "He found me." I said, shutting my eyes.

"Wait... what?" she leaned back, alarmed, "Who found you?" Sam asked as I allowed sleep to take over my body, much like it had the previous night. "Oh no, you are not falling asleep on me," she shook my arm slightly, "Aria are you fucking kidding me?"

I smiled as Sam's voice faded, pretending like I was safely enclosed in Ezra's arms once again.


"Do- Do you still love me?" He asked hesitantly.

In any other setting I would disregard the innapropriate question, but as my mind grew more and more tired I carefully thought of the answer. The sound coming from my mouth was barely a whisper, "I will always love you."

He hugged me tighter to his chest, "Me too, Aria. Me too."

His heart beat steadily against my back as I let myself slip into unconsciousness...

My eyes shot open right before Tony's hand crushed the wall beside me, his eyes pitch black, matching the dark hoodie he wore. I would've fallen off of the couch if Ezra's arms hadn't been there to catch me.

"Aria?" He leaned his head over my shoulder, brushing a few of the stray hairs from my face as I tried to calm my breathing.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I whispered, still catching my breath.

"No, I haven't been able to sleep. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just a bad dream."

"Okay..." he was not convinced, "Can I get you anything?"

I pulled his arms tighter around me, shielding me from the demons that hid in the darkness, waiting for me to slip helplessly into sleep again. It was ironic how Tony, once my distraction, had now apparently become a reminder of the threat I faced so brutally for most of high school. I wasn't sure where I made the connection, that night being the first time Tony had ever lost his temper, but I suppose it was the fear of what might come next, "Just don't let me fall asleep."

"I can try."

"Tell me a story."

"Are you serious?" He laughed and shook his head, "No way."

I sighed, "You're right..."

"Thank you-"

"I'd probably get bored and fall asleep," I teased.

"Excuse me?" he scoffed at my remark.

I giggled, still in my drunken stupor.

"I'll have you know that I'm a fabulous story teller."

"Prove it."

I couldn't see his face but I knew he was rolling his eyes, he knew I had won, "You better be sober enough to remember all of this because you are about to hear the greatest story anyone has ever told."

"Dazzle me." I said dryly.

"Once upon a time-"

"Seriously? Greatest story ever told and you start it like that?"

He lowered his eyebrows, "You're mean when you're drunk. Now if you'll let me continue?" He cleared his throat, "Once upon a time, there was a princess-"

"A princess? Really?"

"Are you going to do this every time?"

"No, sorry."

"As I was saying, there was a princess... And she was beautiful. Even more so than her looks, she was kind, thoughtful, intelligent. She had suitors lined up for miles: artists, poets, musicians, each one offering something special for her... All but one. He wasn't skilled, he wasn't rich, and his involvement with the fair princess would only hold her back but-"

"Let me guess, against all odds she falls in love with the poor boy and they live happily ever after?"

He huffed in annoyance, "Actually, if you would let me finish for once..." he paused, waiting to see if I would interrupt yet again, "The two fall deeply in love and he proposes, only to break off the engagement because the stupid princess wouldn't let the poor boy finish any of his damn stories. The End."

"Maybe if he had been a better story teller she would have let him finish." I said playfully.

"Maybe if she had let him finish, the story would have been better."

I laughed quietly, "You're an asshole, you know that?"

"You're awful, you know that?" he retorted.

"But you love me anyways." I replied, thinking back to our conversation earlier that night.

His breath caught in his throat, "Yeah... Yeah I do." he whispered, and after that it was silent.

Minutes passed before I finally spoke, "You're not doing a very good job with my request"

"You're awake aren't you?" He mumbled.

"Barely," I glanced up to see his eyes fluttering open, "and same with you."

"Well maybe if someone hadn't so rudely interrupted my amazing story," he nudged my arm, "we wouldn't be so bored."

"Fine," I said, "Then let's talk."

"About...?"

"Did you ever think of marrying me?" I asked nonchalantly.

"What?"

I shrugged, "When we were together. Did you ever think you were going to marry me one day?" I wasn't expecting a good answer, to be honest I didn't understand why I had asked the question in the first place. Ezra always talked about how he didn't believe in marriage, understandably so since he grew up with parents who couldn't stand each other. I always knew there was the inevitable possibility that I could spend the rest of my life with him and never have the name Aria Fitz.

He thought quietly for a long time before gathering himself to speak, "I'd thought about it. Not that I was planning for it, of course but... I guess I always imagined what it'd be like," he laughed nervously, "Ten, fifteen years from then. Your father smiling as he walks you down the aisle wearing a beautiful white dress that takes my breath away. Your smile pierces through my heart as you join me on the alter and I become frozen. Time doesn't pass and all I see is you..." he stopped, trying to choke back the tears that were resting in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, shifting my body so I could look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying any of this," he glanced down attempting to avoid my gaze as tears began to roll down his cheek.

I cupped his face in my hands and pressed my forehead to his, "Ezra..."

"Aria, don't do this."

My thumbs wiped away the tears from his face as I leaned in, "Please."

His hands grabbed my wrists and held me back before my lips could reach his, "No." he said, his voice soft yet forceful, "You can't."

He released his grip on my arms and I leaned forward again, this time placing my mouth next to his ear, "I want this, Ezra. I want to be with you. I don't care about Tony, I only care about you. Please." I begged, just wanting to feel his lips on mine once again, back where they belonged. I watched as my breath made the hairs on the back of his neck stand.

"You don't mean that. You're drunk." he said, his voice void of any emotion.

I pulled away defeated, not willing to argue with him. Once Ezra got into his self-righteous adult mode there was no getting him out of it. I settled back into my previous position and he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me as I did so, "Promise me one thing," I said as I placed my head back against his chest, "Don't let me forget this tomorrow."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because this is how I really feel. I should remember it."

"What about Tony?"

"I'll never be able to love Tony the same way I love you. I'm sure of it now."

"Maybe you won't be so sure when your sober."

"That's for me to decide," suddenly a wave of exhaustion poured over me and I had to fight to keep my eyes open any longer, "Just promise me, okay? Don't you want this? Don't you want to have me?"

"I can't, Aria. You're not mine to have."

I tried to object but drowsiness soon overtook my body and I slipped peacefully into darkness.


"Aria?"

I pried my eyes open and squinted at the shadow standing above me.

"Nap time is over, bitch."

My eyes focused in on Sam, her glare piercing through my skin, "Well hello to you too." I said, sitting up.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to my desk, "Thanks for passing out on me." she said, tossing my phone in my direction.

I caught it before it could hit the wall, "My pleasure."

Sam let out a frustrated sigh before climbing on to her own bed, "Tony won't stop calling you. I turned the damn thing off but then he started calling me."

"Someone's in a good mood..."

"I still have no idea where you went last night or who 'found you'. And what's with the new clothes."

I looked down to see I was still wearing the Hollis t-shirt and jean shorts I had taken, or should I say taken back, from Ezra's apartment and I was quickly reminded of the not-so-pleasant dream I just had. Anger suddenly began boiling inside of me, burning through my veins as the grip on my phone tightened. I was furious with him. More so than the day I found out, or thought I found out about him being A. No, that was more heart-broken but this, this was pure rage, "I have to go." I hopped off my bed but Sam grabbed my arm before I could reach the door.

"You are not leaving again, not before you tell me what's going on."

"I'm sorry, I really have to go." I ripped my arm from her grasp and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me while she cursed at me from the room.

With each step I took my eyes went darker as they held back the tears threatening to spill. How could Ezra possibly think that it was his right to hold that memory from me? At first I wasn't sure if my dream was even real but as I thought about it I clearly remembered those words pouring from my mouth as I confessed the deepest depths of my heart to the one man in this world I wanted to be with. How could he think that I wasn't his to have when I have never felt so at home with anyone else? It was already getting dark when I reached outside, the cold air making tiny goosebumps form on my legs as I walked. I looked at my phone for the first time in hours, ignoring the fifteen missed calls from Tony and going straight to the keypad, my fingers trembling as I aggressively entered his number. I pressed call just as my body slammed into something solid. At first I thought it may have been a wall but as I looked up I saw Tony's face, first confused then relieved, staring back at me.

"Aria? Aria, is everything okay?" Ezra's soft voice came through the phone as I stood there frozen in front of Tony's figure. My thumb immediately pressed the end call button and I stuffed the device back into my pocket.

"Hey." Tony said, an apologetic smile appearing on his lips.