I have a busy week ahead of me (so manyyy exams) so I'm posting this chapter a tad early, because I wasn't sure if I'd have time over the weekend update! Hope you enjoy reading this chapter! (^-^)
Chapter 8
The morning sun peeked through her lavender colored curtains. Ema blinked a couple times to wake her drowsy eyelids. What a magnificent dream. A beautiful dream. That handsome man, his presence was so… comforting. She reached to rub her eyes, but in the motion instead found a crinkled paper in the palm of her hand. In neat handwriting it read:
"That stars were beautiful tonight, more than they normally are. 'Cause you were there beside me. -Hikaru"
She's heavier than she looks, Hikaru thought, as he carried the sleeping girl down the hill. He wished the Sunrise residence was closer to his stargazing spot. She wore the soft look of exhaustion as she lay in his arms peacefully tucked beneath his jacket that he had draped over her. On her, it was oversized, making her look even more small. The night had grown chilly, yet carrying her gave warmth to his flesh. He couldn't shake the idea- This is what it's like to care. He hadn't cared for anyone or anything for so long. He hadn't allowed himself to feel the emotion of love for so long. I don't want to be that monster anymore… I don't want her to see that monster anymore. He was changing. It wasn't a game anymore. Or perhaps it was; only now, he actually cared about what was at stake if he lost.
If it was anything that he never thought would happen, it would be that he never saw himself allowing another person to incite the change he feared would only get him hurt again.
He feared what feeling a bond meant. It meant he could hurt her. It meant she could hurt him. Attachment was dangerous- he had learned that the hard way. Right when you think the world is yours; that your fate in your own hands, someone can snatch it away and dangle it just out of reach… But the warmth of her body in his arms- he didn't want to let it have the chance to be taken away. Not her. It's every bit worth the risk… I want more moments like this… I want to wake up to her… Go home to her… Hold her in my arms… And… Never let go...
The residence was silent when they returned. Everyone had gone to bed for the night. He carried her to her bedroom where he found her door unlocked. She's got to remember to lock her door, he thought, she lives with a bunch of guys, that can't be safe… He gently laid her on her bed, and tucked her beneath her fleece bedsheets. She's pretty- even like this, he thought brushing his fingertips across her tear stained face. A princess. He took out his pocketbook and ripped a page from his planner, and borrowed a pen from her nearby desk... Too far lost in his thoughts to notice the bundle of flowers that sat atop the wooden surface.
This is so cheeeeeessy, he thought, but there was no stopping his hand from writing those words. As the author he was, he felt like he could write something truly outstanding, but at the same time he felt like it would sound unnatural if he wrote something like that to convey the simple thing he was trying to say. The perfect words were "I love you," but to mean anything, he knew he had to say it to her face. Too late, they were already written. He wrote a new set of phrases: "The stars were beautiful tonight, more than they normally are. 'Cause you were there beside me. -Hikaru." He tore the paper separating the two phrases, keeping the one that said "I love you," and stuffed it in his pants pocket.
In a couple of strides, he found himself in her doorway, his gaze returning to her sleeping figure. "Goodnight." His hand was making the move to close her door. But his feet abandoned him bringing him back to her bedside. The movements felt so unfamiliar as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're the one that's saving me…" She stirred, at the sound of his voice but quickly fell back asleep. "Thank you." He whispered gently placing a kiss on her forehead. And then he was gone.
The earthy smell of Hikaru surrounded her. She realized she was wearing a crimson jacket that surely didn't belong to her, and her cheeks turned a rosy shade at the thought of him being so close to her. The piece of clothing held a crisp scent- similar pine needles, but fresh like a wintery forest after the first snowfall. It was comforting and warm, just like the man it belonged to.
I may not know him all that well, but I feel as though I understand him... She inhaled the soothing aroma, memorizing it. She held his hastily written note tight to her chest, I don't want to forget again...These are wonderful people. I need to apologize to Akio… I need to tell him how much I love him, and how much I wish I could take back what I said… If I were to lose my memory again… I don't think I could forgive myself for forgetting my place and acting so insolently. And the way things stand now, I don't think I deserve such supportive family...
She was half way to her door when she realized, I should change my clothes before I go out. Her jeans were smudged with grass and her blouse too. She had been laying on that hill much of the night, and it definitely showed. Juli must be with Akio, he's not around, she realized. She roamed to her closet and picked out a plain white, long sleeved shirt, black jeans and a denim button down that she left unbuttoned to go over it. She quickly brushed her hair, whipping it back into her usual ponytail. My hair is so much longer than I remember it, she thought. It's so strange that I'm missing nearly a year's worth of time. Everyone acting so familiar around me makes me feel as though I haven't missed anything…
She moved towards her desk to check her calendar but found a small bundle of yellow flowers laying over it instead. Flowers? From… who? Leaving notes behind seemed to be the theme of the day as she found a little card tucked in between the stems of the bright bouquet. She flipped it open:
"Daffodils. For a happy future- multiple." Then in a seemingly rushed font, it appeared that another phrase had been added: "Meant to talk to you face to face, but looks like I came when you left. Come find me flower shop - Iori"
Iori? Now what did Masaomi say about him… A college student, right?… And he runs a flower shop... I have so many brothers now, it's hard to remember...
He was about to give up waiting for her. It's almost time to close… She's not coming… he thought rocking in his stool, tipping it so that he balanced precariously on two of it's legs. He sighed shovelling a hand through his gray locks of hair.
The bell dangling above the weathered oak door jingled as she walked in. The evening sunlight catchingt on her silky hair.
"Ema, you… came."
She nodded, her hair rippling forward, "Yes, I'm sorry I wasn't able to come sooner… I got caught up with something…" she trailed off as if embarrassed, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
"What?" Iori's curiosity had been piqued, and he couldn't help but ask.
"N-Nothing. I-it's fine" She paused and forced a smile, and changed the subject. "I'm just sorry, I'm coming so late in the day, it must be almost time for you to close," she said glancing towards the store hours printed on a paper that faced the outside.
He wasn't going to push the matter if she didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to drive her away. But he knew something had happened. One of his brothers- they made her feel this way. Seeing her blush just thinking about whatever had happened, it made him angry. He felt his cheeks flush with a jealousy so atypical for him. He wanted to be able to put her in such a state- make her nervous enough to stumble over her words.
She waddled around the store, bending to sniff the various flowers. Just like she used to, thought Iori. She reminds me so much of Lenny…
"My gosh, I've never seen so many flowers! I don't even know the names of some of these!" She said breaking Iori's train of thought. Since she had entered, he had only watched, as Ema dipped her nose to inhale each flowers' unique scent.
She's not Lenny… Lenny was so knowledgeable about flowers, he reminded himself. ...Then why am I drawn towards her? I always wanted to be understood- I always wanted to share my life with someone that could speak and understand the language of flowers. Ema can't, and yet… Her simplicity. Her childish innocence. It's alluring. I don't want to see her hurt. By anyone. And I don't want her to leave me… For anyone.
Losing another person… I don't think I could handle that...
He hadn't even realized it but his legs had carried him to stand behind her as she stood, stroking the petal of a white orchid that sat on one of the makeshift shelves beside his workbench.
She froze at the touch of him embracing her, his toned abdomen pressing into her back, his strong arms wrapped around her front. He exhaled into the back of her head and she shivered as she felt his breath warm her skin.
His voice, barely audible, shook as he spoke, "Please don't leave me…" I sound so childish, he thought... but I don't want to be abandoned again. "I was so scared when I heard you were in the hospital…" That almost brought tears to his eyes. "I'm so selfish-Because I wasn't worried about what impact this accident could have on you- but worried because I was scared… you'd leave me." He drew in another breath and continued. "That you'd leave, and never look back."
"I-I'm not going anywhere," she managed to say fighting the inevitable blush. He's so close to me… He's so gentle. And his arms feel so safe. She shifted so that she faced him. He's so innocent, like an afraid child. "It's o-okay, see?" she said, reaching to brush his bangs out of his coffee colored eyes. I sound like a mom comforting a child, she thought. Stopping her hand for a moment, she was distracted by another thought. He's a grown man though- older than me- a college student- what am I doing…?
His large hand grasped hers, and brought on the full blush she tried to hide. His calloused fingertips brushed against the back of her hand as he brought it to his face. He lowered his head so that his hair fell in front of the hand he held. She felt an exhale of heavy air against her skin as he lay his soft lips onto her hand in one elegant motion.
He looked down at her with his soft eyes. "Please don't treat me like a child," he said. He couldn't help but let a small grin grace his face- she was so kind- so understanding. She washes away the darkness. The loneliness. She makes me feel like she's the one I've been waiting for-that Lenny left me so that she'd be here today. So that I'd meet her…
He smiled fully now as he saw the reaction he'd been so jealous of his brothers for being able to evoke, present on her face- and because of something he'd done. A mist of pink dusted her cheeks, and a savory surprised look rustled in her deep brown eyes.
I've been waiting for you… This is where my sorrow ends…
That's it for this chapter! Thank you for reading, and as usual, I greatly appreciate any feedback, comments, reviews, suggestions, and anything else (Next chapter I will add more Fuuto)! And thank you for all of your support and encouragement up until now! I'll be back next weekend if not sooner with the next chapter! -skw
