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Chapter 9: Progressing
Santana's POV
Sunday 6th March 2016
"So have you only ever dated girls and had relationships with them?" Brittany asks as we sit and drink coffee in a café. We've been on many dates now so we're starting to really get to know one another on a deeper level. Before this we didn't used to talk about past relationships that much apart from she knew I was married and I knew of Jack. We never went into detail about them but I think we're in a comfortable enough place to talk about past relationships without freaking the other out. I know previously I was dating someone and all they did on the first date was talk about an ex and it really put me off and made me wonder if they were truly over them. Now though with Brittany, I know any time she talks about an ex it's only because she is telling me about her life and I think she feels the same way about me when I talk about an ex. I mean there is nothing worse on a first date talking about exes no matter whether it's strictly conversational or whether you still like them. I'm glad now that Brittany and I can talk openly about the past but in a way we both know past relationships don't mean anything.
"Yeah, I've never had anything but friendship with a guy" I tell her honestly. "I always just knew I liked girls, I never felt I needed to prove it by dating a guy or anything. Not that I'm saying everyone does that but I do know a few people that did."
"For me it's more about the person I connect with rather than their gender" she replies. "I haven't had a lot of experience in relationships but based on dates and how I feel about people, I know I can't just say I like guys or I just like girls."
"And you don't have to, you're free to like who you want to like" I tell her. "Although in this very precise moment I'd like to think you only like me and no one else" I say jokingly while wiggling me eyebrows.
"Well right now, it is only you that I like" she smiles. "But all I mean is that in general I don't specifically identify myself as liking just guys or just girls" she shrugs.
"That's cool, I totally respect that" I say. "Have you had many relationships where you've thought you could be in love eventually?" I ask. It's maybe too personal for where we are right now in our relationship or whatever we call it but I figured why not ask because I've known Brittany for ages.
"I honestly don't know" she replies. "Now I think about things, I don't think they were proper relationships. I think it was more a high school thing where you felt you should date someone because that's what everyone does. I don't think they could be defined as real relationships when we never had any struggles or dealt with some of the stuff people deal with in a relationship" she tells me.
"I'm sure they were real Brittany" I tell her.
"Maybe real isn't the correct word, perhaps I mean grown up" she replies. "I just feel there was no drama or any arguments. Fair enough with Jack maybe because that's when I started liking you so we had issues there but before that it didn't feel as grown up I don't think."
"If you think you've never had a grown up relationship before then how do you know what it feels like" I ask. I'm not being cheeky, I'm just curious.
"I'm only going by what I think and have seen in other people" she replies. "Don't get me wrong I always had fun but I think that was as far as it went, I didn't feel like I missed anyone all the time or wanted to be with them every second of the day."
"I see" I nod.
"I don't know why I am only realising this now" she says. "I really don't think I've had a proper relationship before and here was me thinking I knew all about relationships. You're going to want to run a mile now after finding this out" Brittany replies. This is the first time in a long time I have seen her not as confident.
"Don't be silly" I smile while reaching for her hand on the table. "I'm not going to run a mile just because you've told me something" I say.
"But I've never had a relationship before Santana. I thought I had but now in hindsight I think it was a close maybe slightly creepy friendship" she says. "Sure we hung out and had a laugh but there was no real drama to suggest a relationship, heck I didn't even care when my ex kissed another girl one time."
"Whoa back up" I say, slightly shocked. "Someone kissed someone else and you didn't care?" I ask.
"Yeah" she nods. "My first 'girlfriend' kissed another girl at a party one time and I wasn't even in the slightest upset. Sure we were drunk but shouldn't I have felt sad or something?" she asks.
"Well I know I would if I was actually with the girl" I say honestly.
"Maybe I'm just a bitch that can't take anything seriously. Maybe I'm not meant to have relationships because I'm so immature, maybe…" she says but I have to stop her.
"Brittany stop ok" I tell her. "I'm not an expert on relationships but I don't think that meant you can't take anything seriously, I think you've just never found the right person to feel something different."
"Really, you think that's all it is?" she asks. I am really surprised by her low confidence here, I never expected it.
"Yes I do" I say genuinely. "I know how high school can go sometimes and you think because everyone else does something so you should. I did that myself and so did many of my friends. Let me ask something though, did those relationships end in disaster or were you friends?"
"No they ended pretty well…wait maybe that's because no one got hurt because there was nothing to get hurt by" she says and I instantly smile.
"You took the words right out of my mouth" I say laughing slightly. "The chances are they felt the same too so I wouldn't worry about it now, you parted on good terms so just leave it at that."
"Yeah you're right although I think the whole thing with Jack was different. He was one of my friends so even though I did treat him bad because I liked you the whole time, I did have some feelings for him" she says.
"That's understandable" I say.
"Anyway enough about my past conquests" she laughs. "Let's talk about yours, tell me how many people I have to compete with."
"Well…let's see" I say pretending to think. "I don't know if I should name them all, I mean there are a lot" I smirk.
"How many?" Brittany asks while sitting up in her chair and leaning across the table. "You have to tell me" she says, almost desperately.
"There's not really that many of importance but I have had quite a few girls I must admit" I tell her. I mean not everyone I dated I had a relationship with, some were over before they even began and others were just casual fun.
"When did you meet your wife?" she asks.
"Ex-wife" I say quickly correcting her.
"Ok, when did you meet your ex-wife?" she asks.
"Well we started dating around early 2013, I think it was the February" I say. "Then we got engaged in October and got married the following April. Then 3 months after the wedding we broke up" I tell her.
"What happened if you don't mind me asking?" Brittany asks.
"We just weren't working out. I wanted everything she didn't want and she wanted everything I didn't" I say. "At the time it felt we were right for one another but as the wedding approached I had doubts but put it down to nerves so we married anyway. Then I just gradually realised we were never meant to be."
"Was it a bad breakup then or not too bad?" she asks.
"Put it this way I never want to see her again" I say. "I think we both realised we weren't working out but we didn't exactly part on good terms. She got mad that I made her leave but at the end of the day that was my house so why should I move out?" I tell her.
"True I suppose" Brittany nods.
"That wasn't the only reason we didn't remain civil though" I say. "She didn't think we should divorce right away because it would look bad as we had only been married three months. Also we got into an argument about who owned what because we lived together for a while so we shared a lot of things so we couldn't decide who could keep each item. Do you know she tried to fight me for a china bowl that actually belonged to my late grandmother, it was like a family heirloom and she had the cheek of saying it was hers? Oh and let's not mention when she tried to…" I quickly stop talking when I see Brittany's face. I may have just overloaded her with information not to mention freaked her out because just thinking about Jen makes my tone sound so much angrier.
"Um…" Brittany doesn't know what to say.
"Sorry was I getting too heated?" I ask with a nervous laugh.
"Just a tad" she replies. "I thought you were going to create a hole in the table with the way you were gripping it so tight in anger" she tells me.
"Sorry, as you can see she really makes me angry" I say. I'm not that much of an angry person but when it comes to Jen I feel like I just want to break something because she annoys me so much.
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this" Brittany suggests. "We can talk about something else if you want."
"It's ok" I smile. "Look Jen and I were just a disaster" I state. "We were great together but the minute we got engaged everything changed. I think everything started changing so fast that I felt drawn into something I didn't want. We were in love at one point so I clung onto that and pretended it'd get better but it just got worse. We just wanted completely different things in the end" I say.
"What kind of things?" Brittany asks.
"Well we both did want marriage but that's as far as she wanted to go. She wanted a career more than a family I guess. I mean I've always wanted to get married and have children. It's always been a goal" I tell her. "Don't get me wrong I want a good career but I wouldn't put it to the cost of my family. If my career affected my relationship or marriage then I'll change careers you know?"
"I see where you're coming from now" Brittany nods. "In an ideal world I want to get married and have children but not for a while yet" she tells me.
"Yeah I mean I wasn't putting a time limit on things but I wanted to at least know we were headed in the same direction" I say.
"So do you regret getting married?" she asks.
"Yeah I mean I know you shouldn't have regrets but I do. I wanted the person I married to be the one I spent the rest of my life with and who I wanted children and all that with" I say. "At the same time though I'm over it because it's a part of my life that doesn't mean anything anymore."
"So speaking of future plans, I'm in them right" Brittany smirks. "You said yourself you saw us together in a year's time" she tells me and I instantly cringe. I think that was a bit strong at the time to say that.
"I forgot I said that" I say slightly embarrassed. "I do really like you though and you were sort of the reason why I didn't go any further than dating someone else."
"So you blame me huh?" she jokes.
"No but come on there must be something between us. Don't you think we've already overstepped the mark of dating? I mean I'm not being rude but there is no way I would tell someone a lot of the stuff I told you if I was just dating them" I say.
"No I do completely understand. To be honest from the moment I saw you I liked you. I can't deny it" she shrugs. "I don't want to ruin anything by moving too fast but it's not like we're strangers."
"Exactly so let's not pretend we don't see some sort of future together. We can't obviously predict what it'll be like in years to come but we certainly can't say we won't have a relationship because I'm pretty sure we're almost there" I say with a slight laugh. I've never been this close to someone before unless we were actually in a relationship so surely it means something.
Brittany's POV
"So are you sure you don't mind coming with me?" I ask Santana. In the middle of Santana and I's coffee date my mom called and asked if I'd go to the grocery store because she forgot to get a few things for dinner.
"No I don't mind" she smiles. "If it means spending more time with you then I'm all over it."
"Cool, I just didn't want you to think I was being immature or something and I couldn't shop alone" I say. Recently I've started to get a bit concerned with the age difference between Santana and me. It's not that I mind but I've been panicking she doesn't think I'm grown up enough for her or something.
"I know you can shop alone, didn't you first kiss me that day you were at the grocery store?" she asks and I smile remembering that day.
"Oh yeah so I did" I say. "Anyway I want to get this over and done with as soon as I can. I hate grocery shopping."
"I know the feeling, I'm lucky enough that I just need to shop for one" she says before laughing. "That sounded so dramatic there didn't it? I didn't mean it to sound so depressing."
"Maybe if you invited me over to dinner one night and cooked for me then you wouldn't need to just buy meals for one" I say. Oh god why I am being cheesy again?
"Actually I was going to invite you over this week sometime and cook" she says smiling. "What day suits you best?" she asks.
"Wednesday is probably the best but any night would work I think so just whenever you want" I reply.
"Ok we'll make it Wednesday so let's say around 7pm or is that too late?" she asks. "When do you usually eat dinner?"
"I eat dinner anytime so that's fine with me. I assume you're working until 5pm?" I say.
"Yeah that's right" she replies just as we walk into the grocery store where I pick up a basket to put the shopping in. "Hey what sort of food do you want me to cook or will I surprise you? I mean is there anything you can't eat?" she asks.
"I'm not that fussy when it comes to food, I usually stick to healthier options mind you but if it's a date then I don't mind us treating ourselves" I reply.
"Ok well I'll just surprise you then" she says as we make our way to the first aisle. The first thing I need to get is fresh vegetables so I go and get those first before moving on to get the rest of the shopping.
"Brittany?" I hear someone say from behind me causing Santana and I to turn around. "Hey it is you?" the girl says.
"Yeah" I say hesitantly not really recognising the girl for a second. "Wait a second…Amy?" I say smiling.
"Yeah it's me, how are you?" Amy replies.
"Yeah I'm doing good, how are you?" I ask.
"I'm doing well too, I'm just doing some shopping because my flatmates cleaned out the apartment" Amy says.
"Flatmates?" I ask. "Did you move out of your parent's house?"
"Yeah as soon as I started college after the summer I met a few people and we decided to share a flat. We all wanted our own independence from our parents but couldn't obviously afford a place on our own so we decided to rent an apartment together" she tells me.
"That's cool, so how is your first year at college working out. Are you enjoying being 19 and at college?" I ask.
"It's not too bad, although sometimes I wished I just got myself a job instead of going to college. The thought of making money is more appealing than studying right now, especially when I have rent to pay" she says and I nod. "Anyway how are things with you? You're a senior now right?"
"Everything is going cool and yes I'm a senior" I say. "I've applied to a few universities to do physiotherapy so I'm just waiting to see what happens whether I get in or not."
"That's awesome, I knew you were always so smart" she smiles.
"Thanks" I smile back. "How is the love life?" I say wiggling my eyebrows.
"Oh you know" she replies. "I'm single and having fun, you can't keep me tied down."
"Cool" I smile. This girl never changes.
"Anyway are you with anyone at the moment?" Amy asks.
"Yeah, this is Santana" I say. "She's my girlfriend" I tell Amy and Santana looks rather surprised. I'm not sure if it's because I said girlfriend or if it's because I actually told someone we were even anything.
"Oh right, hi" Amy says to Santana and they shake hands.
"Wait a second, do I know you" Santana says with a frown as she shakes Amy's hand.
"I don't think so" Amy replies.
"Yeah I definitely recognise you. I mean you look slightly different with the hair tied up but I definitely know your face" Santana says.
"You know her" I say shocked and Santana nods. "Oh shit" I mutter.
"Um I should be going now but it's nice to see you again Brittany" Amy says. "We should hang out sometime, is your number still the same?" she asks.
"We should hang out and yeah the number is still the same" I lie.
"Cool, well I'll see you around" Amy says before leaving.
"Did you sleep with her?" I ask as I turn to face Santana.
"Excuse me?" Santana laughs.
"Have you slept with Amy before, is that why you know her face?" I ask, I don't mean to sound questioning but I need to know.
"No I have not slept with Amy before, why?" Santana asks.
"Do you remember I told you I had a thing with a girl and she got drunk and made out with someone else?" I ask and Santana nods. "That's her" I say. It's not that I care who Santana has slept with before because it's not really my business what she did before I knew her, I just didn't want to find out we had both slept with the same girl, it' just seems weird.
"Maybe I should go beat her up then for ever kissing someone else when she was with you" Santana says, jokingly I hope.
"That's ok" I smile. "The thought of us both sleeping with the same girl seemed weird that's the only reason I asked" I say and she nods. "So how do you know her then?" I ask.
"I saw her leaving my brother's room one early morning. Initially I thought it was because they had slept together but maybe not now" Santana says.
"I never knew her to go after guys but maybe she's changed. It's been a while since I last saw her never mind since we had a thing. You mean your brother Jason right? He's a year older than me isn't he?" I ask.
"Yeah I meant Jason" she replies. "Anyway more to the point, are we girlfriends now?" she asks.
"I thought we were, I know you didn't come right out and say it but you said we were almost in a relationship so I just assumed that meant we're like together now" I say.
"Well it's cool with me" she says. "So are we telling people now or what, I mean I thought we were hiding it from you parents?" she asks.
"We should keep it quiet from my parents but we can tell some other people. I've already told my closest friends that I'm with you and my sister" I tell her. "You can tell anyone you want too, my parents just can't know right now. And as for Amy she'll not even remember what I said, if we asked her in ten minutes she wouldn't be able to tell you I said that." I'm not being cheeky about her, she's just that type of person where one thing goes in one ear and straight out the other.
"That's cool" Santana smiles. "So you like an older woman do you? I mean Amy and now me" she flirts.
"I can't speak for all the slightly older woman out there but I'm guessing they're way more experienced and I like someone that knows what they're doing" I wink and throw Santana a flirty smile.
"Oh really?" Santana flirtatiously smiles back. "I guess you'll just need to wait and see if you're assumption is correct but first let's have a scout through this store and see if we can find an ex of mine" she says jokingly.
"It wouldn't be so hard right, you've slept with half of the country haven't you?" I tease. "Did you not say you had lots of exes?"
"In all seriousness I was a bit wild back in the day, like there was barely ever a time I was single. It wasn't until after my marriage and divorce thing that I calmed down because I knew I couldn't make the same mistake twice so I started to treat people better" she tells me. "It wasn't nice using people just for fun so after my divorce I started dating people properly and not just hooking up for the sake of it."
"Good to know" I smile. "Anyway we need to finish this shopping instead of talking" I say while moving onto the next aisle and Santana follows.
Santana's POV
Wednesday 9th March 2016
Brittany and I are just sitting eating dinner in my dining room, I cooked for her as promised. We've been talking and laughing for a while now and I'm pretty sure the food is cold but I don't think either of us care because we've been having so much fun. We've been playing a game for a few minutes now where we each randomly ask a question to the other and they have to answer truthfully.
"When was the last time you lied?" Brittany asks me.
"Um…yesterday" I state.
"Do elaborate, what happened?" she asks.
"My business partner asked me if I had posted a letter for him but I forgot so I said I had did it but then I got my receptionist to run out and do it for me" I say. I know it's kind of lame but I did lie so it counts.
"Ok fair enough, I believe you" she says and I smile.
"Ok my question for you is…Have you ever lied in bed?"
"Oh yes, all the time" she says laughing and I frown. I didn't think it was that funny to lie to someone you've just had sex with. "Last night I lay in bed for around eight hours because I was sleeping and I was lying in bed before I came here tonight just having a rest" she says and then I fall over in laughter, I realise now what it sounded like I asked.
"Ok-ok, I didn't mean it like that" I say smiling at the way Brittany is still laughing. "I meant have you ever lied to a partner after sex or something?"
"In that case, yes I have. Nothing humiliating or anything, I just pretended I didn't like something when I did" she replies.
"Like what?" I curiously ask.
"I said I didn't like it when someone was kissing my neck but I did like it. I just didn't like this person doing it because he used to slobber all over me and it was disgusting. I don't know why I ever dated him" she says looking slightly repulsed.
"Ok, my turn again to answer" I say.
"When was the last time you had sex?" she smirks at me.
"Brittany Pierce, we're getting personal now" I smile. "Ok um…I can't remember the date exactly but it was like December, just before Christmas" I say.
"Ah right, just before you fell for me?" she asks.
"Yeah and after I fell for you I couldn't look at another woman because it just didn't feel right. I only wanted to be with you" I tell her honestly. "Actually this can be your next question, when was the last time you had sex?" I ask.
"I can't remember" she replies while looking down. I can see she's probably regretting asking me now since I asked her.
"You don't need to be embarrassed, I'm only asking because you asked me" I say. "If you don't want to answer then its cool" I smile.
"Look it's been a really long time. I never felt like I wanted to sleep with anyone when I had feelings for you. Jack and I never actually got that far and to be honest I'm glad we didn't because I wouldn't want to do that when I liked someone else" she tells me and I'm shocked but slightly happy. I'm happy that we both felt the same way but shocked because with the way she described things I thought they had.
"You don't think its weird then?" she asks.
"Not at all, you should only do what feels right" I tell her.
"I'm not planning on waiting too much longer though" she whispers while leaning over the table to kiss me.
"That's good to know" I smile back and we fall into a peaceful silence just sneaking glances at one another. I'm guessing nothing can really happen tonight though because Brittany has to be home in half an hour before her parents get home from the hospital and find out where she really is.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you think. I had planned on moving things along a bit more in this chapter but then I ended up writing too much about the one thing so hopefully in the next chapter things will have moved on slightly.
