Growing Period.
Part IX
Summary: Decisions are made.
A/N: Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and of course my two helpers.
xxxxx
They stepped out of the doctor's office together, smiles still fixed to their faces.
The doctor confirmed the result of the home test and congratulated them on having a baby.
Sara had started to warm up to the idea considerably over the last few days. That didn't mean she had also lost her fear, but she felt more in control again. They were still going to therapy sessions, she needed more security, but she had calmed down enough to enjoy Grissom's excitement.
She never would have expected him to be that into it. Sure, as soon as she had seen him with Amelia, she had known that if Grissom ever decided to leave his doubts behind and have kids, he would go all the way and be an amazing father.
In dealing with the girl, she had gained some confidence herself, but the reality of her own child had scared her. Suddenly, she had been not so sure she was ready for it anymore. Today, however, she had pushed her insecurities away to be able to enjoy the doctor confirming the initial diagnosis. She didn't want to remember the moment as one of fear later.
It was a happy moment.
She felt Grissom pull her closer and turned her attention back to him. He was smiling at her, and the glint in his eyes told her that he had pushed everything else to the back of his mind as well. This was their happy day.
To make sure that nothing could disturb them, they had both taken the night off, which had taken some reworking of the schedules, but the others were more than willing to help. They didn't tell them what they needed the time off for, and they didn't ask. Since they had told the team, all of them had been more than accommodating.
"I know that I'm usually the most anti-social person you know, but what would you say if I wanted to go shopping?"
What was normally Grissom's style of response had been adopted by her; she raised her eyebrow in a doubtful manner that prompted him to elaborate. "Would you be opposed to buying some books on pregnancy?"
Sara had to laugh, marveling at how utterly predictable he could be. Of course, Grissom would want to read up on things. That's what they were best at.
Going shopping for books was the only kind of shopping they really did with pleasure. Books had a soothing quality for her. They had always provided that; therefore it was only fitting that it was also a big part of their relationship.
"I would worry if you didn't want to do that." Her knowing smirk teased him enough to stop walking and pull her to him.
"We are going to buy some books." His statement made her stomach drop.
The years that she had tried to take the lead and made a mess out of things had left their mark and she was always glad when Grissom expressed what he wanted without her having to guess. Like almost always, there was a playful element to their slight banter because otherwise, her stubborn streak would have interfered.
She had to admit that in this case, she was counting on him to take the lead because she needed to regain her footing first. "As long as you pay."
His kiss, that was meant to shut her up, only made her smile even more as she took the initiative and deepened it.
xxxxx
After hours spent wandering through various bookstores, they had several bags with pregnancy books. The first store hadn't been satisfying at all, offering a broad collection, but not the depth detail that they were looking for.
Three more trips to other bookshops had been necessary until they had what they wanted. It had taken them hours, and Grissom had proposed they would go out and eat. He was awfully sociable today, but Sara put it down to his happy mood.
Grissom's proposal led them to sit in a high-end restaurant. That was definitely more than she had expected.
"Should we call my mother tonight? Tell her the news?"
The piece of tomato from her salad stopped halfway to her mouth as it hit her that they had completely forgotten about his mother.
She and Lauren had just talked the past week, a day or so before she had noticed that she had missed her period. It was natural to want to share something like this with the family, even for Grissom.
When she remained silent, Grissom backpedaled. "We can wait if you want."
She could hear a trace of regret, sensing that he was too excited to wait. Why shouldn't he share the news if he wanted to?
Lauren should be the first to know and she was sure that Grissom's mother would be happy for them. "Let's IM her when we get home."
She put her hand into his and gave it a light squeeze. When she felt the action being returned, she looked back at him and found him smiling again.
"I think we are really getting better at this whole relationship thing."
Grissom looked thoughtful for a minute and when he nodded, she could still see the doubt in his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I try. I really do, but sometimes it's just so very hard."
At first, Sara didn't know what he was referring to because in her mind, he was doing fine. As she kept watching him, trying to read him, it became clear to her that he still saw himself differently. Over the last few months he had changed, but he had not gotten rid of all of the self-doubt he carried. It would take a while, just as it would for her, to get over something that had had years, maybe even decades, to develop. All they could do for each other was to be there and lend silent support.
Although sometimes, an opportunity was presented that enabled more than that. "You're doing fine. Without you, I wouldn't have come this far."
She lifted their joined hands and brought them to her belly. She slowly unraveled their fingers and placed his hand on it.
Grissom looked a bit startled, but didn't pull away. This was the first time he really 'touched' their baby.
The last few days he had put his arm around her, even resting his hands on her stomach, but it was not because of the baby - at least not consciously.
Sara imagined that he had felt the same way she had. She may have been scared as to what kind of mother she would be, but since the test had come back positive, she had been even more scared that the test had been wrong. If she had tried to 'touch' their baby and hadn't felt anything, she would have thought that it was not real, that it was gone. So she had kept herself from trying to form a tangible connection before they had absolute proof.
Now, she didn't have to fear that anymore and he didn't either.
Their hands rested on her belly, hers atop his, and although it was still too early to feel anything yet, she could swear that she felt warmth seep through his hand.
"This is how far we've come?" It wasn't a real question, and nevertheless, she felt the need to answer by pressing his hand further down.
The smile on his face showed his awe, and it made her happier than she could have imagined. Maybe their baby was saving them.
Hopefully, they would never have to return that favor.
xxxxx
It was late when they pulled up at their home, but the day had been too perfect to cut it short.
Grissom had told her that it didn't matter because his mother would still be awake. She never had been one to turn in early, and that hadn't changed with age.
They booted the computer and waited for the IM window to open. If she wasn't online, they would have to wait until the next day.
Grissom took the seat closest to the monitor, but made room for Sara to sit down in the other chair they had taken from her office.
He was only slightly anxious about what she was going to say. He knew she would be thrilled, no doubt about it, just like most parents who had given up any hope of becoming a grandparent one day.
The program had started and they could see that his mother was indeed still online. Sara smiled at him encouragingly and Grissom began to type. /Hi mom./
The wait seemed endless until Lauren replied, making him sweat a little bit. /Hi, how are you? Is Sara with you/
He heard Sara giggle beside him, more as a relief of stress than true mirth.
/We're both here and well. Hi, Lauren./ Sara cut in, alerting the other woman of her presence.
/So, to what do I owe this pleasure if you're both fine./ Judging by her saucy reply, Lauren knew something was up. How, they had no clue.
/What, can't you believe that we just want to talk to you./ Grissom had taken over the conversation again, his smirk telling Sara that he wanted to prolong the sweet torture as long as possible.
It might have been a bit unfair, but this was some sort of payback for all the times she had made him squirm, asking about the state of his relationship – or lack thereof – and grandchildren – also more about the lack of. He knew it had been an attempt to be normal more than any serious questioning, but still…
/Congratulations, Sara. You made a communicative person out of my son./
This humiliation by his own mother seemed entirely too much fun for Sara to watch. He could tell by the way the right side of her mouth twitched, pulling slightly upwards. She was trying to hide it, but it showed.
One more round and he would end it.
/Thank you. You'd be surprised what else he has accomplished since our last meeting./
Now she looked deliberately at him, her smirk growing. She had given him the perfect opening to tell Lauren what was going on.
/Would you like to hear what is different now./ He could virtually see his mother's eyes grow wide when she realized the direction this was taking.
/My dear son, if you don't come right out and say it, I'll come over and…/
They both chuckled, imagining Lauren getting onto the next flight only to give them a slap on the hands.
Grissom turned to Sara, glad that only she would be able to hear him. "You are aware that she will just do that once she hears about the baby?"
At Sara's nod, he went back to typing. /Mom, if you would stop long enough for me to 'come right out and say it' we'll still be sitting here tomorrow./
/Hush, nonsense./
He looked once more at Sara who just nodded, giving him the go-ahead.
/Mom, we're having a baby. Sara's pregnant./
There was silence in the room and the cursor blinked on the screen as they waited for a reaction.
TBC
