I'm on a BIG writing high and I won't stop until its done!

Weeks went by, Angel had his out patient treatment, but only for ten days. For ten days he was able to talk and work with a therapist. She was wonderful, Dr. Schuyler, she talked with Angel about the importance of food, listened to why he felt that way, and ordered the feeding tube to be removed. It seemed to be working, until they got the bill after the first week: $5,000. Collins scraped, saved, and borrowed, but it was too expensive to continue. That turned into a major set back, after she left Angel relapsed hard. This is when he realized Mimi had thrown everything away, he was hysterical that night. He had to start over from scratch.

Collins kept a close eye on him, he took all of the therapists advice and followed it the best he could. He took Angel out often to see friends, explore new places, and do anything to make him feel loved. While Angel enjoyed it, it was smothering, at time.

He was caught in a vicious loop, he'd gain five pounds, then lose three. The problem wasn't Collins, or loving himself. It was now all about control, his body and how it looked was the only thing he could fully control. He hated himself, and he didn't care if it killed him, he was going to look how he wanted.

Collins had to take Angel to work with him everyday now, he couldn't be trusted to be home alone. He would binge, purge, then over exercise until he would be on the verge of collapsing.

They sat in his office together and Collins unpacked their lunch. He watched Angel break everything up into tiny pieces then leave it in little piles.

"Don't just play with it, eat it," Collins said dully.

"I am!" Angel was already defensive.

Collins turned away and watch Angel out of the corner of his eye. He his food in jacket sleeves, the professor said nothing. He finished his food in silence.

When he was done he turned back to his lover who was shaking her leg nervous. Anything to shed calories no matter how small. Collins let his face fall into his hands, he began crying.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Angel asked terrified, he got no response. "Honey, I-I'm sorry... I'll eat I swear, I-"

"No you won't." He interrupted.

"I will this time, I-"

"Angel, stop. How many times do we have to do this? You promise but you don't follow through. I-I can't take it anymore, but I'm tired. I love you,but I can't watch you kill yourself."

"But..." Angel said softly. "Y-you said you'd be with me until the end. You promised."

"That was before, that was when I thought AIDS was going to be the reason you died, something you can't control. But now you're sitting here with your hair falling out, and an enlarged heart and you still won't fucking eat!"

"I-I-I" Angel couldn't cry he didn't know how to react he was going to lose Collins. "Collins, I'm sorry I'll get better for you."

"No! Not for me. Angel, if you really want to get better you have to get better for you."

"Please, I can't do this without you! I can't lose you!" He tired to wrap his arms around Collins who didn't return the hug.

"I can't either," Collins pulled the Latinos arms off of him and held his hands for a second. He let go and stood up, "When I thought you were getting better I called my mom."

He pulled a small box from his pocket and tossed it onto the desk. Angel took it and opened it up, inside was a ring, a beautiful gold band with a blue opal in the center, it flashed ever color in the rainbow as he turned it in the light.

"Once you were back at a healthy weight I was going to ask you to marry me. Because if you could get better, I knew there was nothing we couldn't face together."

Angel finally broke, he was a crying mess and fell to the ground still holding the ring.

"Please, please, Thomas, give me one more chance, I can't lose you! I don't want to die!"

"What?"

"I don't want to die! I don't I'm scared! I hate this but I can't stop, I don't know how anymore!"

"Angel.."

"Please, I'm scared... I always have been."

"Then let me help you, we can take it one bite at a time."

Angel nodded and his hand, he couldn't be alone. He wanted it all to stop, he wanted to be normal again or die. That was the problem though, as death came closer and closer he became more terrified.

Collins helped him to his feet, he took the ring out of his hands and carefully placed it on the desk.

"Now, empty you're sleeves," he said softly.

Angel didn't fight, he began pulling out the pieces of food, the we're squished and ripped up, "You saw?"

"Mhmm," he nodded and smiled a bit, "And frankly Ang. this is kind of gross."

Angel half sobbed and half laughed still not done crying, "Yea, I know. I think there's still ketchup in my sleeves." He shook his arm a bit more sandwich crumbs falling out.

Collins shook his head still smiling, "Well, this isn't exactly how I wanted it to go but..." He grabbed the ring and got on one knee. "This was my mother's it was a promise ring from when they were in high school. My dad gave it to her and promised that as soon as they graduated school he'd marry her, and he did. So if you promise that you will get healthy and you want to, as soon as you get your health back we'll go to Massachusetts and get married."

"I will, I promise, for us but mostly for me," Angel's voice trembled at every word.

Collins slipped the ring on his finger and pulled him into a kiss. This was the happiest moment of his live despite all the trouble they were going through.

"I love you,"Angel whispered pressing their foreheads together.

"I love you too," he paused then looked back to his desk. "Now, will you please eat."

Angel smiled and nodded,, slowly he at all the food they packed. Well except for the sandwich chunks that he had shoved up his sleeves, but it was a start.

one more chapter to go bitches!