Chapter 9

"I'm going out! Don't wait up!" I shout and begin to put on my jacket.

"Ve~ W-Wait Lovi, where are you going?" Feliciano asks, and I sigh.

"Out."

"Where out?" Oh this persistent little shit.

"I'm just going out, dammit!" I growl at Feliciano, "I don't need mamma to walk with me."

Feli stays silent, and I start sweating, wondering if I said the wrong thing, again.

"Ve~, was she nice?" he asks. Oh yeah, I forgot that Feli never met our mom.

"Yeah.. she was a nice woman, who actually cared for me." I say, trying to get this over with. "Can I go now?"

In an instant, Feliciano's happiness seems to come back. "Ve~! Okay! Have funnnn!"

"Err, okay." I step outside and breathe in the air, trying to savor every moment.

"Nonna nonna! What do I do?" I shouted, "Aiuto!"

"Shh, Lovi. Just breathe in the air." She says calmly and pats my head. "You will be fine if you just do that."

"What is the point of breathing?" Antonio asks as he swings back and forth on the swing. We decided to come to a park, since Antonio said his brother was having company. I don't know why, but the way he said it, seemed like a lie.

'So we can calm down in the worst of situations. So we know that we are in full control of our body when it feels like all hell will break lose. I like breathing, it helps me stay calm." I tell Antonio, then ask, "Why so many depressing questions?"

"Just wondering what you think about things." He says and scratches his arm, for the millionth time.

"Why the fuck are you wearing long sleeves? It's like 100 degrees out. Thank god that you're wearing shorts."

"I just like them."

I snort, "Sure you do."

"Can I ask another question?"

"Be my guest." I sigh, awaiting the next depressing as shit question.

"What do you think about family?" Antonio asks and I have to think about this question for a moment because there is a lot that I can say.

"Well, there is good family and bad family. Families usually stick together and help each other no matter what, and that's the good family. They keep you're secrets, treat you kindly, give you a meal every night, and most importantly, they give you love. That's good family, but bad family is when every single one of your relatives hates your ass. Bad family is when they don't give you the love that you deserve, good family does that even if you don't accept it. Bad family is when they don't try to ask when you're coming home when you tell them that you're going out. Bad family is when they are just.. bad. And they give you all types of abuse, emotional, physical, etc. This might seem really sappy coming from me, but I love my family. Yeah sure they're all selfish, annoying bastards, but they fucking give me a reason to care, if that makes sense." I am shocked to hear that all come out of my mouth with no stutter.

"That was really good Lovino" Antonio says and takes out a cigarette.

"What about you?" I ask.

"What about me?" He blows the smoke out from his mouth.

"What do you think about family, dumbass?"

"Oh!" He chuckles, "I find it really fascinating on how we all live together while we don't tolerate each other. And I'll be honest, Lovino. My home life is a big pile of shit. That's why I'm usually out."

"What are they like?" I ask softly, fearing the answer.

"Just like you said. A bad family."