Okay. This is the last update till at least Saturday cause won't be home till then. I have a busy vacation week planned with my two best friends!
Eri & I are obsessed with OTH and we recently got Sara hooked so she's up to the beginning of season 7 now!
She was always whining that she didnt know what Eri & i were talking about so we had many fun sleepover weekends together watching them.
We got her hooked on Nathan Scott too! LOVE HIM! :]
....haley and nathan are meant to be... ;] lol
I love them with all my heart and i'm off to pick up Eri now.
I expect many messages when i return or i'll be very sad. lol
I think this is a better one personally.
Here goes...
Chapter 9: Fate
One Year Later
She thought it was fate.
Brooke found out she was pregnant on their first anniversary. She was so excited she couldn't contain herself. They had been trying all year and finally their 'hard work' had paid off. She thought her next dream was being fulfilled.
But it turns out that it wasn't really fate after all.
..
.
February 5, 2012
Julian led a distraught Brooke into their house. They had just returned from the hospital after a horrifyingly sad night. Brooke had experienced sharp pains and some bleeding during the night and Julian had rushed her to the hospital where they were told that Brooke had a miscarriage.
Her hopes and dreams about this baby were ripped out of her so harshly that she felt the physical pain of it all. After the OBGYN performed a DNC on Brooke, the doctors ran some tests. It was determined that Brooke had cists on her ovaries and uterus and explained that Brooke would most likely never get have a baby. They doctor explained that even if Brooke did become pregnant again, a baby may not make it to term. It would take a miracle.
Brooke's dreams were crushed and there was nothing Julian could do to soothe her. Nolan ran into the living room glad to see her parents home, but she stopped short when she saw Brooke crying. Brooke couldn't even look at Nolan. She was a reminder of the child she just lost and future biological children she may never have. Nolan had never seen Brooke like this. She was now scared and ran back to her room. Brooke didn't have the strength the say or do anything. She never saw this coming. After two 'sort of' pregnancy scares in high school, she never doubted her ability to conceive or carry a baby. It was just…assumed.
"Brooke, honey, please look at me." Her blank stare not only frightened Nolan, but Julian too. Her eyes were just so disheartened, sad…and empty.
"We lost a child and I know that you are hurting, but you have to let me help you. Let me in. Don't shut out your family." He sighed heavily. "We BOTH suffered a loss today. We need each other's support at times of tragedy and sorrow. It may make us feel better."
"I don't think I can do that." Brooke spoke softly before standing up and walking to the bedroom. She moved like a robot or a zombie. Brooke shut the door, locked it, and fell to the floor. She could not face him. She had failed him. She couldn't give him the thing they both wanted most: children together. Julian stood at the door.
"Don't shut me out Brooke. Don't do this. There are other options. We don't need a child with our DNA, it's the same as you adopting Nolan, and you love her just as much as a biological child. I know you do…Brooke, if you do not open this door, I will break it in."
He heard the lock on the door click and he opened the door to witness the sobbing mess that was his wife. He dropped to the floor and scooped her up in his arms. They sat there for a long time but he didn't care. He would be there for her…as long as it took.
"I want to have babies with you…I want to have your babies…" she sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears.
When she finally relaxed against him, he continued just to hold her. The silence was broken when they both heard a whimper from the door. Standing in the doorway was their Nolan. She was crying too, and when Julian extended a hand towards her, she ran into his arms.
"I'm sorry we scared you baby. Everything is going to be okay."
"I'm not gonna be a big sister anymore, am I?" Nolan's voice was so disappointed that Julian and Brooke both shed a few more silent tears.
"No I'm afraid not Angel. Someday, but not now."
Brooke didn't say a word. She just stroked Nolan's hair with her palm. She comforted Nolan the only way she could at the moment. No words were necessary.
"I'm sorry Mommy."
For the first time that day, Brooke felt a little better. If Nolan considered her mommy, then that was all she needed. She didn't want to make Nolan feel unloved like she had done that hour ever again.
"Mommy's going to be okay, Nolan. You and daddy and I will get through this. And we'll be stronger than ever, right?" she asked Julian, more for herself than for their daughter.
"Of course we will," Julian smiled.
;;
After Nolan was safelt asleep in her bed, Julian tried to talk to Brooke again.
"Please tell me what you're feeling. I want to to help you."
"I dont want to talk. I just want you..."
She attacked his lips with hers and her hands went right for his belt. She didn't wan to talk. She wanted to numb the pain.
She wanted her husband inside her. She needed him. It was the only thing that would help.
"Brooke...we shouldn't do this when you're upset."
She looked up at him with sad, empty eyes. "What...It's not like I'm gonna get pregnant..."
He tried to be gentle. But he was feeling the pain too.
It was how they grieved together.
They made love intensely, but it didn't numb the pain all that well. It wasn't romantic. It was tragic.
Brooke cried in his arms all night. Silent tears spilled from his eyes as well. Neither slept.
Things would go on like that for many nights to come...
;;
April 3, 2012
Weeks have gone by and Brooke was starting to feel better: physically and mentally. She was still very fragile and cried easily but she was on her way back from darkness. She and Julian had talked a lot about their options and decided that maybe they would adopt. They thought maybe they could possibly adopt a baby from another country. They wanted Nolan to have a sibling before she got too old that they wouldn't bond as well. During this recovery time, Nolan had turned nine and Julian and Brooke had both turned 25. They met with an adoption agency and were waiting to hear about placement of a child in their care. Brooke did not want to get her hopes up. She knew adoption took a long time and so she focused on her relationship with Nolan to keep her spirits up. They had many more 'girls days' and Brooke noticed that Nolan was really growing up to be a lot like herself. Nolan was always the life of the party and had a lot of friends. She loved fashion and was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. Brooke bought her tickets to their concert for her birthday and Nolan was so excited that she danced around the house for days.
When Julian answered the telephone that day, he had been reading a script for a new pilot show while he laughed, watching Brooke help Nolan with homework. Needless to say, Brooke was not much help with schoolwork.
"Hello?...Yes, this is he…" his eyes lit up, "Yes, thank you for your call…ohh…yes we could, anytime…uh huh, yes. Okay sounds great…Thank you so much, just…thank you."
He hung up and noticed Nolan and Brooke staring at him.
"Who was that honey?"
"That was Marianne Parker from the adoption agency. She said they need a placement for a child and she wants us to meet with her tomorrow. We're getting a baby!"
Nolan smiled at her daddy. "Yay!"
Brooke was stunned but then jumped up. "Oh my God! Oh my God!" She ran over and jumped into her husband's arms.
Maybe it wasn't the fate they planned for or expected, but it was fate nonetheless.
.
So sad at first i know, but ends on a happy note. Reviewers deserve it.
Please Review MORE!
You can do it! :]
~ Haley :]
