Chapter 9

Clary POV

AN: JUST TO CLEAR UP ANY CONFUSION JACQUELINE IS THE PERSON POSING TO BE SEBASTIAN AND CLARY'S MOTHER!(:

"She is not going with us." I hear Jace say across the hallway in his room, he's been fighting me coming with them since last night at dinner. I've decided to stay out of it all day today… for now.

"Jace you can't just decide for her. If she wants to come, then she can come with us. I mean you've seen what she can do this past month, she's perfectly capable and always has been. What are you so afraid of?"

There's a pause in his conversation with Izzy, Alec and Maryse.

"Nothing it's just… nothing just forget about it." He suddenly sounds exhausted.

Seeming as though the conversation is over, I go back to my spot on the windowsill and continue to draw the New York skyline. My door suddenly opens and I don't have to look to see who comes in.

"Hey Clary." Izzy says, her and Alec coming to sit on my bed, I notice Jace leaning on the threshold of the door.

"Hey, " I say simply.

"So you may or may not have heard us." Alec starts awkwardly, "You may not remember but we've all been through a ton of demon raids and fights together. I mean you've probably saved all of our lives more than once. Anyway, The house we're raiding tomorrow, you used to live there."

"Yeah?" I say, I can tell he's trying to leave out parts of the story.

" We wanted to leave it to you, I mean it would be great having the whole team back together."

I smile at Alec, "Yeah I'd love to go, I mean it's just like any other demon raid though, right?"

I watch them look at each other, what are they hiding?

"is there something I'm not getting?"

"We all haven't been to that house in almost a year," Jace speaks up, "We're not sure what to expect going in."

"Can't we just scope it out tonight, like now?" I ask.

Izzy and Alec look at each other, "She's not wrong." Alec says

"Yeah but if we're seen we'll blow our cover. They'll expect us there." Izzy thinks, "We'll just have to see tomorrow."

"Okay." Alec says, clapping his hands together, "Good talk." He says before getting up to leave with Izzy.

I go back to drawing, thinking everyone has left. That is, until I feel Jace lift me up and set me on his lap so we're both comfortable lounging on the windowsill.

"Hey," I say to him as he rest his head on my shoulder and watch me draw.

"You're amazing." He says, looking at my half finished sketch, I blush.

"Thanks, you're not too bad yourself." I say, pointing to the stick figure drawing on my bedside table, his small chuckle warms my heart.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks me seriously.

"Why wouldn't I?"

" I just don't want you going home to…"

"Have me remember too much? It's okay I'm excited, I can handle it. It can't be that bad, right?"

He doesn't answer me.

"Right?" I ask again.

"Just please promise me you'll be careful." He asks me.

"Always am." I say, trying to reassure him.

"Seriously." He says.

"Okay, okay. I promise." I say, getting closer to him.

"Thank you." He says, before closing the space between us and kissing me.

"Just don't expect me to stand by if a Ravenor is chewing your leg off."

He rolls his eyes and gives me another quick peck on the lips, I sink into Jace's chest as we both look out the window.

"Did you know my mother?" I ask him, the question seems to catch him off guard by how he tenses up.

"Jacqueline?" He says coolly, I nod. "No, I'm afraid I haven't"

"You're lucky." I whisper bitterly, "You're mom is actually the sweetest lady alive."

"Don't say that." He says, rubbing my arms.

"I'm serious, she's so kind. She treats me like more of a daughter than Jacqueline ever did." I think longingly.

"Maryse isn't my real mother you know. My real one died in childbirth having me." He says.

I look up at him, feeling terrible, "Oh my god, Jace. Look at me, having minor issues with my parent. I'm so inconsiderate I'm so sorry-"

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Clary. None of this was your fault." He says, and I have a feeling he's not talking about only our parents.

I decide to end the conversation by laying my head back down on his chest, I have no idea what the big deal is about the demon raid but I'm excited. It's been about a week since we last even fought a demon.

I must've dozed off, eventually I feel myself being lifted onto my bed, except Jace doesn't get on it with me.

"Stay." I plead, grabbing his arm, "Please, don't leave me."

I feel him lie down next to me after that and plant a light kiss on my forehead, "I wouldn't even think about it."

As I doze off to sleep my subconscious takes over like it usually does, showing me memories I've seized to remember and then forget them the next morning. Tonight it's a letter written by Jace, one line sticks out unlike any other.

"As long as I can dream, I will dream of you." I mumble to myself.

I feel Jace sit up next to me when I talk, I feel him shake me lightly to wake me up but I'm already too far gone.

The next morning I'm pleased to wake up to see Jace next to me, I'm frustrated by the sound of my alarm going off on my bedside table.

"Turn that bloody thing off." I hear Jace mumble next to me.

I happily oblige by slamming my hand on the snooze button.

"Morning goldilocks." I say, moving a stray hair out of his face, "Ready to go hunt some demons?"

"Five more minutes." He says playfully shielding his eyes, I giggle and lie back down next to him. "It's only 5:30, can't the demons go out for coffee and come back later."

"Demons don't do coffee, Jace. They prefer human souls." I watch as Jace's face cracks into a smile at my joke. "Now I'm going to shower and when I come out you better be out of this bed."

I begrudgingly get out of bed and walk over to my shower before he can say anything else.

15 minutes later I'm all clean and dressed in black skinny jeans and black tank top covered by a leather jacket. I brush out my hair as best I can and then leave the bathroom to put on my combat boots. When I enter my room again Jace is already there dresses similarly to me in his gear, which makes his golden hair and skin even more beautiful.

He's not wearing a jacket right now, just his black tshirt while he places runes up and down his arms. I watch in fascination as I put my boots on and proceed to do the same thing to my skin until my arms are covered in runes.

I get up silently to collect some weapons before I feel hands grab my waist.

"Are you sure you want to do this." Jace asks me seriously.

"Yes." I say simply, not sure how else to reassure him.

He touches his forehead to mine and closes his eyes, I do the same.

"Jace why are you so against me going? Don't lie to me."

He silent for so long I don't think he's going to answer me, "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"A little demon ichor has never killed anybody. Besides, there's this guy that I really, really like that I know will help me if I get caught up with too many demons."

"Who's this guy so I can kick his ass?" He asks me playfully.

"It's you silly!" I giggle before giving him a peck on the lips before grabbing his hand to follow me to the weapons room where Izzy, Alec, and Simon are already packing up their stuff.

"Hey guys." I say, going to the wall filled with daggers and seraph blades, my two weapons of choice. There is a chorus of hellos as we all sharpen our tools and fill up our backpacks and gear belts.

"Today won't be terrible." Alec says as we're all finishing up, "Maryse says there's just 8 Dahak demons who the clave believe were summoned by Sebastian which either means he's waiting for us there or he's testing us. Either way stay alert and be prepared."

Before leaving the institute we each take a granola bar and glamour ourselves to move quicker through the streets. We decide on taking the subway, unnoticed of course, to get there faster and to be surrounded by regular mundanes to help shield our scent.

It's a long ride from Manhattan to the outskirts of the city, the suburban part, which gives us all time to think. I choose to people watch, I've always found it fascinating how humans interact with themselves or each other. Eventually I find myself lost in the lives of others.

"Clary." I hear Simon say after I have no idea how long, "We're here."

I look up at Simon and get off the subway with everyone else. Our conversation is easy and playful until we near what I assume is my old house. We prepare ourselves by taking out our weapons, I place two daggers in either hand.

We open the door, I have no time to look around before my first Dahak bombards me. While these demons are pretty unintelligent, they can be very aggressive. I flip over the demon to have more space around me.

"Clary! Behind." I hear Izzy say. I spare a look behind me to see a second Dahak coming my way. I use my momentum to jump on the first demons back and stab him square in the skull. The second one runs at me and manages to cut me with on of its claws, damn that hurts.

I ignore the pain for now and take the demon's moment of distraction to stab it in the heart. It screeches in pain and disappears. As I take a second to breathe I look around the area of the house we're in, a living room with a kitchen connected. It seems so familiar and I'm hit with a sense of déjà vu.

My mind is pushing for me to remember things, it's at the tip of my tongue and is leaving my with a huge headache and I feel disoriented.

You lived here Clary. Your room is upstairs.

I walk up the stairs, half in a daze, and enter my room. While it's filled with stuff, it feels empty somehow.

I assume it hasn't been touched since the last time I came here. My bed is only half made, there's a sketchbook left on the covers and some clothes strewn on my desk chair. I go to look in the bathroom until the door swings open, I scramble back, but not before the final Dahak takes a swing at my ankle, again Ouch!

I try my best to regain a focused state of mind but I'm distracted.

Look in the closet, those are your clothes. Your book bag is still there from when you went to school.

I went to school? I narrowly miss the demon almost swiping my head off. Focus Clarrissa! Through the headache and slight confusion I kick the demon back against my bedroom wall and stab it straight in the heart.

I sit down for a second, breathing heavily as the demon disappears.

You have a ton of sketchbooks in your desk drawers. And pictures of you and Simon and Jace an-

"Clary, Are you okay?" Alec's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

I look up at him with unfocused eyes, he looks slightly worried.

"Yeah, I'm good. I was looking around and a demon popped out of the bathroom."

He nods, "That was probably the eighth one." He says, half to himself, "Would you, um, like to look around?"

I nod, happy that he's offering that.

"Okay, we'll be downstairs to show you around if you need us." He says awkwardly before leaving.

I sit on my bed for a second longer before intending to get up and g downstairs. As I stand up, vertigo hits me hard.

NO! Stay here where it's happy! You don't need to go downstairs.

My headache worsens as my mind attempts to bring back memories in this room, they're happy, but I still want to go downstairs.

I take each step slowly as I get to the last step the memories turn sad and angry, it weighs me down until I see something in the living room I'll never be able to unsee.

It's horrifying.

AN: OMG! Is Clary remembering the day she found her mother?! I guess you all will have to find out in the next chapter(: Anyways, I hope you all liked this chapter, as always I had a lot of fun writing it and I'm excited for you guys to see what happens next!

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