Bonded With Flame: Must type. Go away Drek.

Drek: Whatcha doin'?

Bonded With Flame: (Sarcastically) Playing Pac-Man. Go away.

Drek: Grab that super pellet.

Liri: (Appears.) Shall I restrain him?

Bonded With Flame: Yes, please.

Drek: Hey! Ow! How the heck can you pick me up you friggin moogle!?!?

Liri: You want this to hurt more?

Kirana: Sure. Do it!

Liri: Sounds good. (Steals munny and gil)

Drek: My skill!


Note from Nobody Commander: Sorry it took so long, school was a lot of work and we didn't have much time to write. We'll try to make it up to you all, but don't expect us to turn out chapters like machines. After all, we're only human.
IN THE CONTROL ROOM…

"Muahaha… and now the entire world will be an RPG. I am so evil." Said an unknown voice.

However, at that point Xemnas walked into the room. "What are you doing?" He asked, befuddled as to how someone could have gotten through Zexion and Vexen's locks. "Who are you? Why are you here? How did you get through the locks? Where did you get through? When did you get through?"

"I'm asking the questions. But I am… A. MELVIN!!!!"

"My god! You are truly evil, I respect that, but couldn't you torture someone else?" Xemnas asked restraining himself from strangling A. Melvin's scrawny neck.

"No." A. Melvin brushed some invisible lint off of his business suit, "I desire your screams. Your screams are the foundation of my new empire."

Xemnas furrowed his brow. "And the top level?"

"The Care Bears," A. Melvin replied as if it was as obvious as two plus two.

"Hey! We got dibs!" Xemnas snapped.

"Dibs mean nothing in this small world. The only thing that means anything is who gets there first and who is stronger." A. Melvin said.

"Shut up with your philosophical crap!" Xemnas yelled.

"I will not." A. Melvin said, much to Xemnas's dismay.

"That's it!" Xemnas charged him. The screen shattered.

"What the?" Xemnas was standing in a set pose. He attempted to attack, but was restrained by an invisible barrier. A "helpful" fairy popped up.

"You need to wait for your ATB (Active time battle) bar to fill up!" It said.

"Shut up." Xemnas attempted to attack, and then he saw a cursor that appeared. He pointed it at the fairy, and attacked it.

Fairy took 9999 damage!

You felled a fairy!

Got 23 experience points!

A. Melvin attacks!

Xemnas took 13 damage!

"Tick… Tick… Tick…" Xemnas waited for a minute while A. Melvin whaled on him with magic, each hit dealing about 65-90 damage. Xemnas finally got to his attack menu.

"Let's see… magic… hm… 'Lame-o Dark Spell…' no… 'Jim the Necromancers Inferno'… no… Apocalypse!" Xemnas muttered.

Xemnas used Apocalypse! Effects!

A. Melvin took 902,750,349,820 damage!

A. Melvin is inflicted with blind, rage, and doom!

"And you're still not dead!?!?!"

"Intriguing. You aren't dead yet. I must go to extremes." A. Melvin's hair flared out, and his clothes flashed with darkness and exploded into oblivion. They were replaced with a dark grey robe. His eyes glowed yellow and exploded, replaced with a completely red eye, and a completely yellow eye.

"You are the most stereotypical villain I have ever seen." Xemnas commented.

"Be quiet." His voice was distorted like it had been thrown in a blender. "I shall devastate your soul."

"We Nobodies have no souls." Xemnas said. "Or is that too much for your pathetic little mind to handle?" He ran at him with both blades extended.

"Pathetic mortals. You shall be cast into the darkest pit of utmost despair." He pushed Xemnas back with a push of force. "Now to take over this pathetic place as a base for my master plan. Taking over Kingdom Hearts!" He went into an insane laugh. His minions crawled out of a black fog. His minions were… people. Ordinary people.

Xemnas looked up. "Get creative, loser!"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." A. Melvin continued. "Go forth and destroy. Crush all of their followers. Kill everything."


IN ROXAS'S BEDROOM…

Roxas was being poked with a gun by a minion. "Get outta your bed. We're taking this castle over."

Roxas made his Keyblade appear and floored the minion. "Ha!" The screen then shattered. "What the!?-"

Minion A appears!

Minion B appears!

"What the- oh. It's an RPG." Roxas said.

Roxas attacks Minion A!

Minion A takes 562,000 damage!

OVERKILL!

Roxas felled Minion A!

Minion B attacks!

Roxas dodges Minion B's attack!

Roxas uses Holy Light!

Minion B takes 5,957,097 damage!

OVERKILL!

Roxas felled Minion B!

You got a magic lamp!

"Oh Yeah!" Roxas screamed. "I am the freakin' champion!"

"Good for you," Vexen said, walking into Roxas's room.

"Hey Vexen, have you noticed…" Roxas started.

"That the world is a RPG," Vexen said. "Yes. Zexion and I have discovered some things about it. Roxas, open your start menu."

"How?"

"By thinking it."

Start, Roxas thought. All of a sudden a large menu obscured Roxas's sight. "AH!" Roxas screamed.

"It's all right," Vexen's voice said. "You play RPGs so you should be completely familiar with the start menu. Move the cursor with your mind." Roxas looked around at his start menu.

"Sweet, I'm level 62," Roxas said.

"I'm level 65," Vexen said. "Most importantly Roxas, you should check your equipment menu, and your spell page. Also your Key Items, think how they might become important." Roxas checked them all.

"Seems fine," Roxas said.

"We're having you check anyways, Demyx freaked out when he realized that his sitar was worse than Zexion's stick," Vexen said.

"Oh." Roxas said.

He walked over to Xaldin's room. Axel was waiting outside.

"Dude. There are like 54 generals and A. Melvin fighting Xigbar, Zexion, Lexaeaus, Demyx, and Xaldin. We should make sure nobody else gets in."

"Alright." Roxas started clobbering a Guard Dog.


ELSEWHERE…

"Die you frickin loser!" Exralnex shouted. Her death spells kept missing.

"Missed again sucker!" The minion said.

It became her turn. "Time for the new spell learned from the ring."

Exralnex used UberDeath!

Instakill!

You felled Minion!

Got 42 Experience points!

Got 23 coins!

"Head honcho doesn't pay his minions much." Exralnex noted. She woke up Braxgix, who was her Bunk mate. (Since Xemnas was too cheap to get each of them a real room and/or a real bed.) "Wake up dude!" she screamed.

"Whazza!" Braxgix said. "Hey… What did I tell you?"

"No interrupting your sleep unless it's really, really dire." Exralnex said. "But the worlds an RPG!"

"Yeah. You've been spending too much time with Axel. Get a life." Braxgix said.

"Serious. Attempt to kill me."

"Fine." Braxgix said. The screen shattered. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Dude, you sound like an idiot."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"SHUT UP!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"SHUT THE $# UP!"

"Alright, I'm cool now. How do you play?"

Exralnex explained. "Oh, so I can't just stab someone?" Braxgix said.

"Nope. Gotta wait for your ATB bar to fill up, then you think what you wanna do, then you do it." Exralnex said.

"No room for improvisation?"

"If you get a combo, after your first hit, you can make up anything you want, because every time you get the first hit in a combo, the other ones always hit." Exralnex said.

"Can I defy gravity?"

"When you use a tech." Exralnex said. Braxgix gave her a funny look. "Techs are like physical magic. Everybody has them, but they use up MP."

"What does MP stand for?"

"My pants. Magic Points! Duh!"

"Oh. Let's go."

"Meow!" Meowzers appeared at the door.

"You wanna come?" Exralnex asked.

"Purr." Meowzers purred.

"Cool." Exralnex said.

Braxgix joined the party!

Meowzers joined the party!

"Right, let's go." Exralnex said.

As they walked through the halls, they encountered no more than 35 minions, 21 squad leaders, 48 guard dogs, (which all of them surprisingly had more money than the minions,) and 11 generals. They eventually made their way to Xaldin's bedroom.

They opened the door.

Xaldin was fighting off A. Melvin, 34 generals and a fairy, with some assistance from Xigbar, Zexion and Lexaeaus. Demyx was there, but he was only battling the fairy. He was losing. Axel walked in to the room.

"Wow. Xaldin's good." Axel said.

Roxas walked in. "Axel, right after you went into the room, a mob of 61 minions appeared. There were 41 squad leaders, and 20 generals. And 116 guard dogs and it really sucked. On the plus side, I'm rich now."

Larxene walked in. "I just fought a guard dog. Now I'm beat."

"Get in the fray!" Braxgix yelled. "Geronimo!" he jumped at a General who was going to land a blow on Xaldin.

"He's right!" Exralnex shouted. Everyone started killing the enemies.

The screen shattered.

Exralnex uses MegaDeath!

Killed 24 generals!

Killed one fairy!

"Ha! I finally killed that fairy!" Demyx yelled.

Gained 820,000 experience points!

Roxas uses Holy Light!

Generals K-O took 54,390 damage!

OVERKILL!

A. Melvin took 42 damage!

A. Melvin is enlightened!

A. Melvin uses Purge!

A. Melvin misses!

"What! I am the almighty ruler! I never miss!"

"Tough. You just did." Larxene said.

A general put his back to Larxene to block a bullet.

Larxene takes an attack of opportunity!

General AA takes 455,643 damage!

OVERKILL!

Gained 123,456 experience!

Level up!

Level up!

Level up!

Goku Appears!

Demyx attacks!

Goku takes one damage!

You felled the Goku!

Kirby appears!

Kirby uses Suck Up!

Kirby copied A. Melvin!

A. Melvin got ticked!

A. Melvin attacks!

Demyx took 34 damage!

"Only that much!?!?!?"

"Hey, for what I lack in power, I make up for as a meat shield!"

Vexen uses bad footing!

A. Melvin slips!

Braxgix uses Rapier Combo!

A. Melvin takes 1,234,567,890,987,654,321 damage!

A. Melvin uses an X-Potion!

"Dang it!" Xigbar said.

"X-Potions are the Heart's true essence." A. Melvin said.

"You're stealing my other's awesome lines!" Xemnas stumbled in to the room.

"You're dead! I personally killed you!" He wailed.

"Nope. See, your terrible dialogue gave me this strange desire to live. And to kill you, but I don't think I'm the only one."

Xemnas used Power Up!

Your party's attack increased!

Luxord used Ace of Spades!

Your party's Critical Chance went up!

Demyx used Water Clones!

A. Melvin must destroy ten clones in 20 seconds!

A. Melvin (Somehow) succeeded!

Roxas uses Forge!

Lexaeaus's attack went up ridiculously!

Kirby uses Pyre!

Destroys 10 Generals!

Lexaeaus's attack dramatically increased!

Lexaeaus attacks! Effects!

A. Melvin takes 99,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 damage!

A critical hit!

It's super-effective!

A. Melvin Contracts Mummy Rot!

A. Melvin Contracts Sephyillis!

A. Melvin contracts Lycanthropy!

A. Melvin contracts Vampirism!

A. Melvin was PWND!

OVERKILL!

You win!

They each struck a heroic pose.

A. Melvin looked around angrily. He was back to a scrawny little geek. "I'll get you for this! You shall rue the day you were born!"

"Says you and what army?" Xemnas asked. "And the right term is created."

"Umm… I have nothing philosophical to say! AUGH!" he yelled.

Xemnas looked at Xaldin. "His pea-brain mind is shrinking. Without philosophical crap, he has nothing to say."

"Ugh. I must make haste. You beat me, but I shall not tell you how to turn off the RPG machine!" He went in to an insane laugh.

Xaldin pinned him to the wall. "Don't try. THIS is how you do an Evil Laugh." Every body in the Organization (Including Meowzers, now number 16,) started to do their best evil laugh. Sadly, shortly after they started, he disappeared.

"He disappeared… we must split into groups of three." Xemnas said. "Meowzers stays to guard the castle." He looked around. "I shall go to Chaos World with Xaldin and Xigbar."

Roxas leaned over to Axel. "Since when did Xemnas get so cool?"

Axel looked up from Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. "He drank the potion." He yelled up to Xaldin. "I wanna go with Roxas and Zexion."

Xaldin nodded. "That is fine. You go to Fire Mountain. Braxgix, Exralnex, and Demyx, you get Aquaria." He looked to Xemnas.

"Yes. Lexaeaus, Luxord, and Marluxia are going to go to Plant Land." Marluxia squealed with joy.

Xaldin slapped him with the flat of his spear. "Larxene, Saix, and Vexen… uh… you're gonna go……err… to the Demonic World of…..uh…. Doom."


WITH LARXENE, SAIX, AND VEXEN…

"Jeez. This is boring." Larxene complained. A demon then popped out of nowhere.

"We are taking you to our master… Where you shall be democratically judged."

"Whoa. You're cool." Larxene said.

"Um… thanks?"


WITH XEMNAS, XIGBAR, AND XALDIN…

"So what's the plan?" Xaldin said.

"We only went this way to throw everyone off. In reality, we're following Roxas," Xemnas said.

"What? Why?" Xigbar said.

"Have you noticed that after I died, the FanFic cut to Roxas? It seemed like I was the battle you automatically lost, like in the beginning of FFII, or like I was Reks in FFXII. I died to show things were serious. Then, it cut to Roxas. Thus, Roxas is the main character, and everything will happen to him, being the main character." Xemnas explained.

"But what of the main Female Lead? That would be Exralnex, seeing that the fic went to her, after Roxas was done and went to my room." Xaldin pointed out.

"Dude, why hasn't the Fourth wall broken yet?" Xigbar said.

"Please. The fourth wall is already in shambles here." Xemnas said, pointing to some Furbies and Darth Vader.

"Point made, man. But shouldn't we have put Roxas and Exralnex together?" Xigbar asked.

"Axel requested to be with Roxas and Zexion." Xemnas said. "If I didn't say yes, he'd think something was up."

"Right. Should we split up?" Xigbar asked.

"No. Roxas is the main male lead, thus he and Exralnex will eventually meet." Xemnas said.

"Yes. They'll both get clues pointing to the same place, and they'll both go there, and then something bad happens."

"Should we use a crystal ball?" Xigbar said.

"No. That would mess up the plot too much." Xaldin said. Then he got a brilliant idea. "Xigbar, go back to the RPG Machine and…"


WITH AXEL, ROXAS AND ZEXION…

"This Fire Volcano sucks!!!" Axel yelled. "All the random encounter enemies are fire type, thus my best magic does NOTHING!!!"

"Cool down Axel," Zexion said. "That's why we're here."

"Hey, guys," Roxas said. "This wall looks suspiciously like a secret door." Axel gave the wall a shove and it moved aside.

"Whoa! This is A. Melvin's secret base of operations!" Zexion said. Axel snorted.

"It looks like a cell with a bunch of random evil scribbling," Axel said. He then picked up a piece of paper, and said, "And his diary." Axel snorted. "Why do psychotic evil madmen always keep diaries?"

"Probably because they need to keep track of the level of their evilness," Roxas said.

"Dude, Xaldin is the most evil person in the universe and he doesn't keep a diary," Axel responded. Zexion snatched the diary from Axel and started reading it.

"September 5th, I have decided to become an evil mastermind today. To do so I will have to construct a device of doomsday proportions. I'm thinking an RPG machine…" Zexion flipped some pages. "February 25th, I have established a base in the Dark Ruins of Quilth. I still like coming to the Fire Volcano though. It helps me think. My evil recruiting drive is going well. So I'll have enough to invade one of my rival's strongholds." Zexion flipped more pages. "June 2nd, I have successfully planted the RPG machine in Organization XIII's castle. I will then have my minions invade. Then I will take their castle for myself. Nothing could go wrong." Zexion shut the diary.

"So A. Melvin is in the Dark Ruins of Quilth?" Roxas said. "Let's go there!"

"Roxas, it could be a trap!!" Axel said. "We'll need a plan." Roxas thought for a moment.

"Spring the trap!" Roxas said.


WITH LEXAEUS, LUXORD, AND MARLUXIA…

"NOOOO!! YOU'RE KILLING FLOWERS!!!" Marluxia screamed. They were in the Gummi Ship in orbit around the Flower World.

"Lexaeus does what he pleases," Lexaeus said. Lexaeus then dropped another bomb on the planet. Luxord stared over at them.

"Just stop." Luxord said. "We're looking for a dangerous fugitive from justice." Lexaeus looked at Marluxia.

"Found him."

"That's not funny…" Marluxia said. Luxord looked over at the world.

"This is stupid. I can't believe that Xemnas would send us to a stupid world with nothing but flowers. I mean…"

"What that white spot in green planet?" Lexaeus said. Marluxia looked at it.

"It looks like a cannon," Marluxia said. They landed the Gummi Ship near it. It was a cannon.

"You know, in RPGs, when you're fired out of a cannon you usually don't die…" Luxord said. They all looked at each other.

"Pile in cannon!" Lexaeus said. They all jumped in the cannon.

"One of us has to light the fuse," Marluxia said.

Luxord used Stop!

Jane's Addiction appeared to sing Stop.

"…That was awkward." Luxord quickly made a fire.

"I lit the fuse," Luxord said. "I had to freeze time to get in on time though."

"How did you create the fire?" Marluxia said.

"Dead flowers," Luxord said. Marluxia got really angry and was about to start yelling when the fuse burned up and sent them all flying somewhere.


WITH BRAXGIX, EXRALNEX, AND DEMYX…

"Aquaria is so coooool!" Demyx said. "We should get a summer home here or something."

"That's nice Demyx, I'm sure you can trade your Caribbean island deed for an island here." Braxgix said. "Yeah, maybe this million dollar Caribbean Cruises Gift Card could buy an island…" he muttered.

"Great idea! I'll do that later!" Demyx said. Exralnex, Braxgix and Demyx were hanging around on one of the many islands that make up Aquaria. Exralnex was looking out to the ocean.

"Do you think that A. Melvin might have had an undersea base?" Exralnex said.

"According to Xaldin's book of Evil Bases, underwater bases are the second most popular kind of bases," Demyx said. Braxgix got up.

"Come on Demyx. Create an air bubble type thing we can travel in." Braxgix said.

"It's an RPG," Exralnex said. "Air is not a problem." To prove this she dived into the water.

"She's got a point," Demyx said. They all swam through the water.

"Holy cow. We can even talk normally underwater," Braxgix said. "This RPG machine isn't half bad. Why are we destroying it?"

"Because having your life governed by numbers isn't fun," Demyx said. "And because in real life I swear my sitar is a better weapon."

"Hey look," Exralnex said. She pointed to a door in the ocean floor. "That looks like a base." They all swam to the door. After proceeding through an air lock they found themselves in a base that looked like a generic rip-off of the Death Star and The Castle That Never Was.

"A. Melvin is such a poser," Braxgix said. He walked over to window that was overseeing a large construction room. "What is he building?"

"I dunno, let's find the Central Computer Core to find out," Exralnex said.

"What if there is no C.C.C.?" Demyx asked.

"Come on, this place screams 'I have a Triple C'," Braxgix said.


IN THE CENTRAL COMPUTER CORE…

"Told you so," Exralnex said. Demyx rolled his eyes. "Hey, according to the computer A. Melvin is mass producing RPG machines to plant in every single world in the universe!" Exralnex said.

"Hey! Only we are allowed to have plans that evil," Braxgix said. "This guy has to be stopped!" Exralnex pressed some more buttons.

"Also I found out that A. Melvin has a secret base in the Dark Ruins of Quilth!" Exralnex looked up from the computer. "We gotta go there!"

"You ain't goin' nowhere!" a voice said. Demyx turned around. A short guy with spiky hair and a really big gun was standing at the exit. He turned his gun and… the screen shattered. "Shoot, I forgot that all of the RPG Machines here cause the weird battle system."

Punk Lieutenant Johnny appeared!

"We don't have time for this…" Exralnex said.

Exralnex used Hyper Death!

Failure! Punk Lieutenant Johnny has death-proof armor!

"Hahahahahaha!" Johnny said.

Demyx used Water Clones!

Johnny failed, he takes 342 damage!

Braxgix uses Nuclear Meltdown!!!

"Dude… I wouldn't recommend that…" Exralnex said.

Johnny takes 850,987,591,875 damage!!!

OVERKILL!

Exralnex takes 274 damage!

Demyx takes 2 damage!

Braxgix absorbs 850,987,591,875 health!!!

You won the battle!

"Urgh," Johnny said.

"How come we killed you in battle but you're still alive?" Demyx said.

"It's the RPG machine, and because of that, I WILL NEVER DIE!!" Johnny screamed. He then kneeled over and died.

"Cool," Exralnex said. Demyx walked over to Johnny to grab the really big gun he had but ended up tripping over his own cloak. He fell onto the computer keyboard.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED!!! HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

"Uh oh," Demyx said.

"Quick! Let's go through that random teleport that we didn't even see until now!" Exralnex said.

"That could lead to The Inferno! OR EVEN CARE BEAR LAND!!!" Braxgix yelled.

"We're gonna have to risk it!" Exralnex yelled.


AT THE DARK RUINS OF QUILTH…

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Roxas said. "Like someone is going to break free from bonds and destroy us all."

"HOLY CRAP!! I just realized that I left the door to the Pit of One Thousand Fangirls unlocked," Axel said. Zexion hit him on the head.

"Nice," Zexion said. All of a sudden the screen shattered.

"Random encounter!" Roxas said.

A Dingo appears!

Zexion attacks!

Dingo took 758 damage!

OVERKILL!

"Do you get the feeling we're over leveled?" Roxas said.

"No," Axel said. "Hey, a save point."

"Do you get the feeling something really bad is gonna happen?" Roxas asked.

"Yes." Axel said. "Why else would a save point be there?"

"Guys, look!" Zexion yelled.

A Behemoth appeared!

Zexion uses Mind Control!

Success!

Behemoth jumps off a cliff!

OVERKILL!

"We probably should have used that save point," Axel said.

"Yeah. What the-!?" Roxas yelled.

"Heya Roxas!" Exralnex said.

"You appeared out of thin air!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Yeah. What the-" Exralnex said.

"Muahaha!" A voice chortled. "I have led you all into a trap. Your doom is imminent under my countless demons!"

The screen shattered.

"You shall despair!" A. Melvin cried.

A. Melvin uses Explosion!

Negates defense!

Demyx took 45,623 damage!

Roxas thought for a moment. "This can't be the Final boss!"

"Why not?" Exralnex asked.

"The music isn't epic enough!"

"You're right! It played this same music while I was fighting Johnny!"

Exralnex uses Blind!

No Effect…

Roxas used Holy Light!

A. Melvin takes 12,345,678,910 damage!


A. Melvin started a poem, made for his death.

"In a dream I shall feel of dark blue pierced with light;
the river murmurs of mad seas;
that by starlights created of black devils and black wolves!

In the wine of daylight the hidden window,
- like an organ of iron, down the long black river.
Has murmured its ballad the Demons are dancing.
- studded with black where the stars are sleeping.

Taking me away to the Heavens,

Or quite possibly the Hell's,

I regret my life.

As I was floating down, I feel a hurricane into the fire
of the sea star-infused and the eyes of panthers
Nostalgia is what skies are, so I hang here."

His features started changing to those of a stupid kid. Again. He started coughing.

Axel looked around, "Dude, all I heard was something about blue and panthers and stars." Roxas snorted.

"You probably got that off a poetry engine or something," Roxas mocked.

"I'm sorry… for all that I've done. (Coughing) I will tell you how to get rid of the RPG machi-"

He was abruptly stopped. A shuriken was in his back. It looked suspiciously like the one Xemnas had got Larxene for a Christmas present.

"What the-" Exralnex said.

"Who could be that evil?" Axel asked.

Some gears churned in Roxas's head. "LARXENE!" Larxene was atop large pillar. She looked slightly demonic, mostly because of the evil red and black aura around her.

"Yes. You pathetic fools have been thinking I was your friend from the start. I infiltrated your darkest corridors and destroyed your confidence." She paced back and forth on an upraised platform. "And now, you can be the first to witness my true power." She raised her hands, "For I have taken over the demon world!" She pointed at all of the Organization Members. "This is your last stand. Xemnas will not be able to pick up after my destruction." A TV floated down. It showed numerous Demons destroying the Castle that Never Was.

"Where the ---- did that come from?" Exralnex asked. "How could you betray us? How could you betray me? How could you betray Meowzers? How could you betray your-"

"Shut up. I want nothing more than your destruction." She swept her hand and

was about to use the Shuriken again, when suddenly-

"No way!" Xigbar shot the shuriken out of her hand in to a waiting Xaldin.

"I'll be confiscating this on the order of Questionable Behavior, Attempted Murder, Trespassing, and my favorite, evil happenings of the Fifty-Eighth and most Deadly order." Xaldin said, putting it in to a file, which he put in to a bag which he dropped in to a Dark rift.

An explosion was shown on the TV. "That would be the Dusks using your Shuriken to destroy your demonic army."

On the screen… "Yeah! Power to the dusks!" A Dusk yelled.

"Yeah! Uh-oh. Toss the shuriken!" another Dusk yelled.

"HERE!" He tossed it and it sucked the life out of the other Dusk. "Oops."

"Okay…" Roxas said. "You still die!"

"Lexaeaus here!" Lexaeaus said. He and his group just landed nearby.

"All this talk of dying. I shall make you die!"

"Jeez, give it a rest." Roxas said.

The screen shattered.

Larxene used Dark Plasma!

Your Party took 34,556 damage!

Demyx used Tsunami!

Larxene took 30,000 damage!

Zexion used Illusion!

Next one of Larxene's attacks misses!

Xemnas attacks!

Larxene takes 45 damage!

Larxene uses you die attack!

Zexion's illusions died!

Exralnex uses Semi Death!

Larxene takes 294 damage!!

Larxene uses Bolts of DOOM!!!!

Lexaeus is dead…

Luxord is dead…

Braxgix is dead…

Xigbar is dead…

Demyx is dead…

Marluxia is dead…

Zexion is dead…

Axel is dead…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Roxas screamed. "You're goin' down Demon Larxene!!"

Everyone else takes a lot of damage!!

Roxas uses Divine Judgment!

Larxene takes 10,938 damage!

Exralnex summons Amaterasu!

"I can do that?" Exralnex said.

Amaterasu uses Sun's Radiance!

Larxene takes 900,000 damage!!!!!

Xaldin uses Six Speared Assault!

Larxene takes 600,000 damage!

Xemnas summons Kingdom Hearts!


Larxene was on the ground slowly disintegrating.

"I… lost…" Larxene said. "But it doesn't matter, the Organization is beyond repair."

"That's not true!" Roxas said. "We have Phoenix Downs!"

"Actually…" Xemnas said. "Luxord forgot to buy them this week." They all stared at Luxord's dead body. Exralnex kicked it.

"Stupid Luxord," Exralnex said. Larxene snickered.

"Will you do that to me when I'm dead?" she said.

"Most likely," Xaldin said.

"Whoa! This is awesome! We break out the Pit of One Thousand Fangirls and go to some random world and just happen to find the Organization in shambles!" Sora's voice said. "This is way too awesome!" The remaining Organization members turned around to see Sora, Riku and Kairi were right behind them.

"Sora, stop freaking out," Riku said.

"But this is awesome! We might actually stand a chance," Sora said.

"Sora does have a point," Kairi said.

"Yeah! Come on Organization! Let's fight!" Sora said.

"Can we go save and buy Phoenix Downs first?" Roxas said.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" They all yelled.

Sora, Riku and Kairi appeared!

Sora attacks Roxas!

Roxas dodges!

"Whoa," Roxas said. "I know everything Sora is going to do!"

Kairi casts Fire!

Xaldin takes 56 damage!

Xemnas casts Dark Storm!

Xemnas is out of MP, so he uses HP instead!

Sora takes 128,734 damage!

Riku takes 43,742 damage!

Kairi takes 2,397,325,908,759,823 damage!

You felled the Kairi!

Xemnas drains his life energy…

"NOOO!! I won't let you die Kairi! I'll find a way to bring you back, even if I have to become a Sith Lord or something!" Sora yelled.

"Sora, we can worry about Kairi after the battle," Riku said.

"NO! Kairi…"

"Sora…" Kairi said weakly.

"Kairi…"

"Sora…"

"Shut up!" Riku yelled.

"What can we learn about Xemnas's death?" Xaldin asked Roxas and Exralnex.

"Don't use magic when you have no MP," they repeated.

Sora goes into Berserk!

Xaldin attacks Riku!

Riku takes 542 damage!

Sora uses Rage Attack on Exralnex!

Exralnex takes 47,395,475 damage!

Exralnex is dead…

Riku uses Death Beam!

Everyone is dead…


Roxas was falling, and falling in an eternal dark abyss.

"Whoa, the Abyss sure is dark…. What the?" Roxas said. "Light! It must be my light! Hope Naminè is there…" It wasn't Naminè. It was a box that said 'Continue' and one that said 'Quit.'

"Wow, that's a no-brainer," Roxas said pushing the continue box.


Time reversed. The world spun. Life twisted.
The screen shattered.

"You shall despair!" A. Melvin cried.

"Wait." Roxas said.

"Yes?" A. Melvin said impatiently.

"Didn't we kill you using real strong spells?" Roxas asked.

"Just die." A. Melvin said.

A. Melvin uses Eruption!

Stops!

Demyx took 3 damage!

"Don't use powerful spells!" Roxas yelled.

"What? We have to kill him, Roxas!" Axel yelled.

"Just don't."

"Whatever…" Axel said.

Exralnex attacks!

A. Melvin takes 22 damage!

Roxas used Arc Light!

A. Melvin takes 12,452 damage!

Exralnex uses silver spoon!


"Why'd you use that?" Axel asked.

"Cuz he contracted Lycanthropy on Lexaeaus's uber attack that we beefed."

A. Melvin started a poem, made for his death.

"In a dream I shall feel of dark blue pierced with light;
the river murmurs of mad seas;
that by starlights created of black devils and black wolves!

In the wine of daylight the hidden window,
- like an organ of iron, down the long black river.
Has murmured its ballad the Demons are dancing.
- studded with black where the stars are sleeping.

Taking me away to the Heavens,

Or quite possibly the Hell's,

I regret my life.

As I was floating down, I feel a hurricane into the fire
of the sea star-infused and the eyes of panthers
Nostalgia is what skies are, so I hang here."

Axel looked around, "Can I get an interpretation?"

"He doesn't have much creativity…" Exralnex commented.

A. Melvin's features started changing to those of a dweeby kid. Again. He started coughing.

"I'm sorry… for all that I've done. (Coughing) I will tell you how to get rid of the RPG machi-"

He was abruptly stopped. A shuriken was in his back. It looked suspiciously like the one Xemnas had got Larxene for a Christmas present.

"What the-" Exralnex said.

"Who could be that mean?" Axel asked.

Roxas sighed. "Larxene." Larxene was atop large pillar. She looked slightly demonic, mostly because of the evil red and black aura around her.

"Yes. You pathetic fools have been thinking I was your friend from the start. I infiltrated your darkest corridors and destroyed your confidence." She paced back and forth on an upraised platform. "And now, you can be the first to witness my true power." She raised her hands, "For I have taken over the demon world!" Larxene said. Roxas was lip syncing the entire speech.

Everyone looked at Roxas. "How could you!" Axel yelled.

"No dude, I just knew what she was gonna say!" Roxas protested. "Sending her to the Demonic world was NOT a good idea. We should have sent her to fairy happy land or something like that."

"Oh, okay." Axel said. "How?"

"Don't ask. I'll tell you later." Roxas said.

"May I go on with my pointlessly long monologue?"

"Yeah, go ahead." Roxas said.

She pointed at all of the Organization Members. "This is your last stand. Xemnas will not be able to pick up after my destruction." A TV floated down. It showed numerous Demons destroying the Castle that Never Was.

"Where the ---- did that come from?" Exralnex asked. "How could you betray us? How could you betray me? How could you betray Meowzers? How could you betray your-"

"Shut up. I want nothing more than your destruction." She swept her hand and

about to use the Shuriken again, when suddenly-

"No way!" Xigbar shot the shuriken out of her hand in to a waiting Xaldin.

"I'll be confiscating this on the order of Questionable Behavior, Attempted Murder, Trespassing, and my favorite, Evil happenings of the Fifty-Eighth and most Deadly order." Xaldin said, putting it in to a file, which he put in to a bag which he dropped in to a Dark rift.

An explosion was shown on the TV. "That would be the Dusks using your Shuriken to destroy your demonic army."

On the screen… "Yeah! Power to the dusks!" A Dusk yelled.

"Yeah! Uh-oh. Toss the shuriken!" another Dusk yelled.

"HERE!" He tossed it and it sucked the life out of the other Dusk. "Oops."

"Okay…" Roxas said. "You still die!"

"Lexaeaus here!" Lexaeaus said. He and his group just landed nearby.

"Yeah! We're here too!" Vexen said. He and Saix had appeared out of nowhere.

"Thought I killed you!"

"We just don't die…"

"All this talk of dying. I shall make you die!"

"Jeez, give it a rest." Roxas said.

The screen shattered.

"Don't use too much MP here either." Roxas commanded.

"I say we listen." Xemnas said. "After all, the main Character should know."

Larxene used Dark Plasma!

Your Party took 34,556 damage!

Demyx attacks!

Larxene took 22 damage!

Zexion attacks!

Larxene takes 534 damage! Critical!

Xemnas attacks!

Larxene takes 6021 damage!

Saix attacks!

Larxene takes 2983 damage!

Larxene attacks!

Zexion takes 2009 damage!

Exralnex uses potion!

Zexion is healed back 2000 damage!

Larxene uses Bolts of DOOM!!!!

Lexaeus dodges!

Luxord dodges!

No effect on Braxgix!

Xigbar is dead…

Demyx takes 34 damage!

Marluxia dodges!

Zexion Illusionizes! All of your party was surrounded with an illusion!

Exralnex uses Super Doom!!!

Axel's illusion is dead!

"Booya!" Roxas yelled. "That was so much different than last time!"

"What happened 'last' time?" Axel asked.

"Everyone died," Roxas said.

Everyone else's illusion takes 400 damage!!

Roxas uses Holy combo! 35 hits!

Larxene takes 400,000 damage!

Exralnex attacks!

Larxene takes 200 damage!

Xaldin uses Six Speared combo! Seven hits!

Larxene takes 249 damage!

Xemnas summons Kingdom Hearts!


Larxene was on the ground slowly disintegrating.

"I… lost…" Larxene said. "But it doesn't matter, the Organization is beyond repair."

"That's not true!" Roxas said. "We have insurance on our castle!"

"----." Larxene said. She disintegrated.

"Whoa! This is awesome! We break out the Pit of One Thousand Fangirls and go to some random world and just happen to find the Organization…" Sora's voice said. "Oh bugger. We're dead, we're dead…" The remaining Organization members turned around to see Sora, Riku and Kairi were right behind them.

"Sora, stop freaking out," Riku said.

"But we're gonna die…" Sora said.

"Sora! Pull it together and fight," Kairi said.

"Yeah! Come on Organization! Let's fight!" Sora said.

"Can we laugh at you first?" Roxas asked, pointing a finger at Sora's bitten fingernails.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" They all yelled.

Sora, Riku and Kairi appeared!

Sora attacks Roxas!

Roxas dodges!

"Dude," Roxas said. "I still know everything you're going to do! And open fire with MP!"

Zexion summons Bahamut!

Sora takes 3,498 damage!

Riku takes 23,908 damage!

Kairi takes 22 damage!

Kairi casts Blizzard!

Xaldin takes 54 damage!

Xemnas casts Dark Storm!

Sora takes 121,234 damage!

Riku takes 2,983 damage!

Kairi takes 2,235,432,934,759,823 damage!

You felled the Kairi!

"NOOO!! I won't let you die Kairi! I'll find a way to bring you back, even if I have to become a Sith Lord or something!" Sora yelled.

"Sora, we can worry about Kairi after the battle," Riku said.

"NO! Kairi…"

"Sora…" Kairi said weakly.

"Kairi…"

"Sora…"

"Shut up!" Roxas yelled.

"Thank you!" Riku yelled.

Sora goes into Berserk!

Xaldin uses Typhoon double attack with Demyx!

Sora takes 152,698 damage!

Riku takes 300,287 damage!

Sora uses Rage Attack on Luxord!

Luxord takes 3,290 damage!

Riku uses Death Beam!

Everyone but Exralnex is dead…

Exralnex looked around. "You pay for that!"

"Prove it!" Sora said.

Exralnex used Life Suction! (OVERDRIVE!)

Your party was revived! (except for Demyx and Zexion) (and Braxgix.)

Sora dies!


"Argh." Sora said. "But you know what? I have one last trick! SUPER ULTIMATE DRIVE SORA, UNITE!" Everyone that Sora had ever met jumped in to a light. Except Auron who went to the Organization's side.

"Why?" Roxas asked.

"You made me an Honorary Member. I can't deny you." Auron said.

"Why Auron?" Sora asked, yelling.

The screen closed up to Auron's mouth, "Because I never really liked you."

"Screw that!" Riku yelled.

Super Ultimate Drive Sora appeared before them. The screen shattered for what could possibly be the last time. "My Uberness is halved without Auron!!!" Super Ultimate Drive Sora yelled.

Super Ultimate Drive Sora Appeared!

"Super Ultimate Drive Sora is kind of a long name," Exralnex said.

"How 'bout we just call him S.U.D.S.?" Luxord suggested.

"NOOOOOOOO!!! I'm not S.U.D.S. I'm Super Ultimate Drive Sora!!!" Super Ultimate Drive Sora said.

"No, I like S.U.D.S." Roxas agreed.

Xemnas uses Rain of One-Million Laser Blades! (OVERDRIVE!)

Requires two people to reflect! S.U.D.S. undrives with Riku!

S.U.D.S. takes no damage!

Riku takes no damage!

"Wait, everyone attack Riku!" Roxas said.

"Ahhhh, I see," Xemnas said.

Vexen casts Ice Pillar!

Riku takes 29,744 damage!

Lexaeus uses Earthen Might!

Riku takes 237,443 damage!

Auron attacks!

Riku takes 32,890,547,208 damage!

You felled the Riku!

"So we gotta draw them out then take 'em out!" Axel said.

Axel uses MegaFlaminDisk!

S.U.D.S. takes 37,532 damage!

S.U.D.S. undrives with the Genie!

The Genie casts Holyaga-47!

Xigbar takes 5,408,375,608 damage!

Xigbar uses Enlarge!

Xigbar heals 67,890 health!

Xemnas Attacks!

The Genie takes no damage!

Xaldin uses Tornado!

The Genie takes no damage!

Roxas uses Key Item: Magic Lamp!

You felled the Genie!

Roxas gained ten Intelligence!

"How did you know to use that?" Exralnex asked.

"I checked my inventory and noticed it was a key item. Had to have some point," Roxas replied.

Xaldin uses Healing Wind!

Your party restores 2,349,500 health!

Marluxia uses Flower Paradise! (OVERDRIVE)

S.U.D.S. is irritated!

S.U.D.S. is afflicted with all status ailments!

S.U.D.S. uses Power of the Heart Speech!

S.U.D.S. is cured of all status ailments!

Xemnas takes 1,753 damage!

Xigbar takes 3,209 damage!

Xaldin takes no damage!

Vexen takes 4,275 damage!

Lexaeus takes 4,374 damage!

Saix takes 689,130 damage!

Axel takes no damage! He's playing his DS!

Luxord is used to monologues! No damage!

Marluxia takes 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 damage!

Marluxia is dead…

Roxas takes 1 damage!

Exralnex uses earplugs! No effect!

Auron takes 42 damage!

Roxas uses Thirty five Keychains! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. takes 40,000,000 damage!

S.U.D.S undrives with King Mickey!

Xemnas uses Seething Dark!

You felled the King Mickey!

Axel used Kami Flames! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. takes 3,300,000 damage!

S.U.D.S. undrives with Xehanort's Heartless!

"Hey, uh, wasn't he supposed to, uh, be a bad guy?" Axel asked.

"Well, technically yes. But apparently he had a…" Roxas looked at a cue card, "Change of heart."

"But he's a Heartless!" Axel said again.

"Yes, but he has the heart."

"But he's a Heartless!" Axel repeated.

"This is getting old." Roxas said.

"He's a heartless!" Axel repeated.

"Don't make me recite poetry." Roxas threatened.

"I just don't understand poetry!" Axel screamed, "It's all about love, or nature, but why serenade them when you could be burning them!?"

Roxas uses Mega Holy!

Xehanort's Heartless is dead!

Exralnex summons Meowzers!

Meowzers gives you 99 phoenix downs from her stash! And a Megaphoenix!

"Sweet…." Roxas said.

Roxas uses a phoenix down! You revived Zexion!

"I thought that Luxord had forgotten the phoenix downs."

"He did, but, ah, I'll, uh, just tell you later, kay?" Roxas said.

"Whatever," Zexion said, "Shades of Black still needs more Bass."

"Now is not the time." Roxas said.

Xemnas uses Extrangulation!

S.U.D.S. takes 30,000 damage! Is gripped!

S.U.D.S. undrives with Cloud!

Cloud use Omni-Slash! Breaks Bind! Hits Xemnas! Hits Xaldin!

Xaldin takes 309,888 damage!

Xemnas takes 349,372 damage!

Roxas uses Magical Keychain!

Cloud takes 239,189,907,987 damage!

"Why so much damage?" Axel asked.

"I have just that much MP." Roxas said, "Wait until my next turn!"

"Alright…"

"Have a Phoenix Down on hand!"

Xaldin uses Windmill breaker!

S.U.D.S. takes 23,870,187 damage!

S.U.D.S. tries to undrive! Fails!

"We've got him weak!" Roxas cried.

Auron uses Super Bushido Banishing Typhoon Fang!

S.U.D.S. undrives with Kairi!

Luxord uses Paper Cut!

Instant K.O.!

You felled the Kairi!

S.U.D.S. is consumed by anger!

Roxas sighed. "That can't be good."

S.U.D.S. uses PWNAGE Incurable Elemental Strike (P.I.E.S)

Axel takes 385,230,487,539,480 damage!

Axel is dead…

S.U.D.S. steals Axel's soul!

S.U.D.S. gains 40,000 health!

"AXEL! YOU SHALL BE AVENGED!!!!!" Roxas screamed

"Sucking souls is a little dark for Sora," Exralnex commented.

"Agreed," Xaldin said.

Xaldin uses Typhoon!

No Effect!

"Intriguing…" Xaldin said.

"I think that S.U.D.S. gained resistance to everything when he absorbed Axel's soul," Zexion said. "There's only one way to find out,"

Zexion uses Scan!

S.U.D.S: 40,001/???????????????, Immunity to everything but Overdrives.

"I haven't used my overdrive!" Zexion said.

Zexion uses Grand Summon! (OVERDRIVE!)

Zexion summons Anima!

Anima uses Oblivion! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. takes 3 damage!

S.U.D.S. uses P.I.E.S.! (Did I seriously just write that?)

Anima takes ludicrously high amounts of damage!

Anima is dead…

"That didn't work…" Zexion said.

"It's all right, other people still have overdrives left," Xaldin said.

Xigbar uses Gravity Desolator! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. takes 4 damage!

Lexaeus uses Extremequake! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. takes 4 damage!

"This isn't working," Xemnas said.

"Give it time," Xaldin said.

Luxord uses End of an Era! (OVERDRIVE!)

S.U.D.S. will die in five turns!

"See, what did I tell you?" Xaldin said. Xemnas smiled.

"Excellent,"

S.U.D.S. uses Alpha – Omega (OVERDRIVE!)

"#$!" Luxord said.

Everyone takes insane amounts of damage!

Xemnas is dead!

Xigbar is dead!

Xaldin takes 758,473,984,750 damage!

Zexion is dead!

Vexen is dead!

Lexaeus is dead!

Saix is dead!

Luxord is dead!

Roxas takes 9,754,375,683,740 damage!

Exralnex takes 8,374,528,375,546 damage!

Auron takes 42 damage!

All of your healing items got disintegrated in the blow!

"Thank Yevon for that Life, Universe and Everything armor," Auron said.

"This is really bad," Exralnex said.

"Hmmm," Xaldin said. "With no healing items we are pretty much doomed." Xaldin turned to the group. "So, I'm the only that hasn't used their overdrive yet?"

"Wrong," Auron said. "I haven't used mine either." Xaldin considered this for a moment.

"I guess that there's only one thing left we can do." Xaldin said. He and Auron started walking towards S.U.D.S. Auron's theme music started playing in the background.

"What are you two doing?!?" Roxas yelled.

"We're saving the world so you two can conquer it." Auron said.

"What!?! Wait, why only us? You'll be there," Exralnex said.

"Somehow I don't think so…" Auron said.

"You don't have to sacrifice yourselves! Luxord's overdrive will kill him!" Roxas said.

"Do you really think that we'll survive four turns without healing items?" Auron asked.

Xaldin and Auron combine powers!

S.U.D.S. uses Gaia!

Xaldin and Auron take 42 damage!

Xaldin and Auron use Reflection!

Xaldin and Auron use Alpha – Omega!

S.U.D.S. takes 10,000 damage!

S.U.D.S. uses Eighteen Million Keyblade Strike!

Xaldin and Auron take 84 damage!

Xaldin and Auron combine their Overdrives!

Ancient Demon Transformation + Ultimate Maelstrom Wind Demon Transformation!

Xaldin and Auron transform into a Legendary Wind Demon!

"We can combine Overdrives?" Exralnex asked Roxas. Roxas shrugged.

S.U.D.S. uses Darkness Blow!

Ineffective! Attack passes through Legendary Wind Demon!

Legendary Wind Demon uses Final Siphon Storm!

Legendary Wind Demon sacrifices all its health to deal damage!

S.U.D.S. takes 1,246,516 Damage!

S.U.D.S. is felled!

Roxas leveled up to Lv.99!

+ 2,9,878,988,327,498,273,487,348,923,492,739 Health!

+ 9,876,543,212,345,789 Strength!

+ 2,362,656,656,987,552,365 Defense!

+ 2 Intelligence!

+ 2,343 Wisdom!

Exralnex leveled up to Lv.99!

+ 343,882,738,478,209,398,478 Health!

+ 1,343,412,452 Strength!

+ 2,930,972,509 Defense!

+ 3,124,147,293,598,472,698,734 Intelligence!


"It's over…" Roxas said looking around the battlefield. During the course of the S.U.D.S. battle the ruins had been completely obliterated.

"Yeah, now everyone's dead…" Exralnex said. Roxas clenched his fists.

"I'm finishing this," Roxas said, then he teleported back to The Castle That Never Was.


BACK AT THE CASTLE THAT NEVER WAS…

Roxas was smashing the RPG machine into a million pieces.

"Stupid machine!" Roxas screamed. He then hit it a final time and surveyed his handiwork. The machine was completely destroyed.

"Roxas, you bonehead!" Exralnex screamed. She had just came up behind him. "If you had kept that thing running we coulda gone to sleep and everything woulda turned out OK!!!" Roxas thought for a moment. Then hit Exralnex on the head. "Ouch…" She said.

"We now know that the RPG machine is for sure broken…" Roxas said sadly. He then got a really good idea.

"Exralnex, do you know any good fortune tellers?"

To Be Continued…


Bonded: that was a whole lot bigger than everything I've written.

Liri: About as long as some fanfics.

Drek: Not that we're commenting or anything!

Bonded: FYI Xemnas told Xaldin that he should turn on continues.


Disclaimer: We don't own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Care Bears, Star Wars, Any of the RPG's we mocked, Pac-Man, Dragonballs Z, Kirby, and Furbys.