Because You Are Here…

… I can go forward.

x:x:x:x:x

A/n: Hi guys! I don't know why, but I feel like I haven't updated in a long time... weird.

I hope you guys like this chapter. I'm sorry if it seems a like crappy compared to the last chapters, I didn't really edit this as much as the others ones but I wanted to get this chapter out there XDD and plus I'm really tired for some reason even though it's not that late orz;;

On a side note: this chapter is a bit fluffier than the past chapters for good reasons... (I hope;;) Enjoy! And please drop a review to let me know if you guys are actually enjoying this fanfiction of mine lol;;

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

x:x:x:x:x

Looking at the times we spent together, I realized how foolish I was to let you go.

Chapter nine: May

The digital clock on the side blinked one-fifteen as Lightning finished the last of her many homework assignments. She turned to the clock, shocked that she had spent so long doing it since she usually finished them quick with ease but for some reason, she wasn't feeling herself and her mind was fogged.

It's just the cold, she thought to herself but something was telling her that it wasn't her cold that was causing her to act like this.

Pulling herself up of her chair, she slid out of her room and quietly made her way to Serah's bedroom not too far away from her own, slightly opening the door to check up on her. Serah, as she should be, was fast asleep on her bed, her hands gripping onto her pillows. She didn't know what it was, but seeing Serah calmly sleeping on in her room put Lightning at ease. After lingering outside her room for a minute, Lightning closed the door and returned back to her room once she brushed her teeth and washed her face, ready for bed.

Lightning reached over to turn off the lamp on her nightstand but not before glancing over at a red and pink checkered ribbon near it. Suddenly her thoughts went back to earlier today when Hope had made a surprise visit at her door. She had seen how his face saddened after their short conversation and couldn't surpass that feeling of worry she felt shortly after.

Did he figure it out? Did he know that she was Claire?

She shook her head. No. There was no possible way he could've figured out. The only person who knew her real name besides her was Serah, unless…

Lightning sighed. She was thinking too much and it was getting late. She turned off the light and soon fell into a peaceful sleep.

-xxx-

Seven years ago…

The sun shined brightly, a little too bright and warm for the afternoon as she made her way to the nearby park, her pink hair shining in the bright light, not quite ready to go home after staying behind in the library. It was a nice place to go after a hectic day of school. It was a small park with very little things to play with so not many people came by, it was quiet and perfect she thought.

She walked over to the swings, content that there no one else was here, and took a seat in one. She refused to swing back in forth on the thing, she wasn't a child, so she just sat still, kicking her feet out in front of her, moving the swing slightly.

Lifting her head up, she watched the clouds slowly drift across the sky. Once she got bored of it, she sighed and dropped her gaze back down to the ground beneath her feet.

Suddenly a flash of pink appeared besides the girl as she turned to her head to the side and saw that it was a small pink flower with a red and pink checkered ribbon tied messily around the steam being held out to her. She traced the arm back to the person standing behind her with the largest smile she's ever seen.

"Here," he said cheerfully, shoving the flower in her hands. "You come here a lot, don'cha?" he giggled. From his appearance, he looked a lot younger than herself, maybe about nine or so. She had never seen silver hair like his before, or his vivid green eyes and she would be lying if she said he wasn't beautiful.

She nodded at his observation, a little creeped out but then again, he was only a child. "You always look so sad and lonely though. My mom always said that you should give someone something to smile about if they were sad." She stared at the flower in her hands, shocked at how soft the petals felt against her fingers when she went to touch them. "I picked the flower because I thought it matched your hair." He laughed.

'Thanks," she said. "Where are your parents?"

"They're at home. School just ended for me."

She nodded in response. "Do they know where you are?"

"Nope," he replied a little too eagerly.

She sighed, twirling the steam between her fingers. "You should tell them where you are in case they worry about where you are."

The boy jumped, shocked. "Y-you're right!" and with that he ran out of the park, and out of sight. She stared, eyes wide, at the spot he was just in not too long ago.

What a strange kid…

-xxx-

She sat in the swings as usual, enjoying the quiet day, positive that the kid wasn't going to be back, sure his parents wouldn't allow him to return. It wasn't that she didn't like him, he was just a bit too cheerful for her and because she was never really good with kids, being around them made her feel awkward.

She wasn't expecting for the kid to come back which was why she was shocked to see him suddenly appear in the entrance, running towards her. She frowned as he made his way towards her and told her that he had gotten permission from his mom with the same wide smile as yesterday. She was taken aback by his appearance, if it wasn't for his hair or clothes, she would've mistaken the boy for a girl.

"Hey, hey," he tugged on her shirt while taking the seat on the swing beside her. "What's your name? My name is Hope."

"Claire," was her simple answer.

"That's a pretty name," he complimented and she quietly thanked him. He later went on about how he liked his name because it was chosen by his mom when he was born. The more he went on about his mom, the more she thought of him as a momma's boy, but then again, it was kind of cute that he greatly looked up and admired his mother since most boys his age would look up to the father instead.

"What about your dad?" she asked while Hope moved back and forth on the swing, but then he slowly stopped moving his feet, coming to a slow stop.

"He's busy with work so we don't see him a lot." He said sadly, a great change from his happiness from before, and even though she didn't want to admit it, it kind of worried her.

"Do you miss him?"

Hope shook his head. "Nope."

His frown was replaced with a pained expression when Claire smacked him across the head.

"Ow, Claire, that hurt!" he whined.

"Don't say something like you don't care about your dad!" she said sternly. "He's the only dad you got so—so show him that you care about him and love him. Do it now… before it's too late."

The pain in his head slowly went away since Claire had made sure not to hit him too hard. He had heard how her voice trailed off slightly and could sense something bothering her.

"Um, what about your dad?" he asked, hoping that changing the subject to her dad would cheer her up.

Claire dragged her feet across the dirt, smoothing it out before messing it up again. "I don't know… he died when I was six in a plane crash before I got to know him any better." She sighed. "He was always busy with work since he was in the Guardian Corps."

Her attention was completely focused on the ground below her so she was caught off-guard when she felt thin arms suddenly wrapping around her.

"Hope?"

"Whenever I feel sad, my mom always hugs me and the pain goes away."

There he went again about his mom.

Unable to hold back a chuckle, she laughed and smiled. "Of course." She whispered and soon Hope released her.

"Thanks, I feel better now."

Hope nodded, feeling accomplished. He then motioned Claire over to the grass, saying that he wanted to sit on the grass with her. She agreed and followed him to a patch of green grass and plopped down next to him, running her hand over the soft blades of grass.

"Claire?" she looked over to him, her hand still on the grass. "Can I hold your hand?"

Claire chuckled, surprised at his sudden question. "Why?"

"I just want to." He beamed and she nodded, holding out her hand for him to hold on to. She had to admit, even though she wasn't too fond of him in the beginning, the kid did grow onto her. It just shocked her how fast she was able to warm up to him, someone she barely even knew. But she felt at peace with him, something she hasn't felt since the death of her father. He wasn't noisy or obnoxious as most kids she saw; he was quiet and surprisingly mature for his age, qualities she didn't mind.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Hope turned to face Claire, a curious look crossing his pale features. "Do you still have the flower?" he asked, unable to hold back his smile.

"I threw it away." She deadpanned.

Hope's eyes grew wide, his mouth agape. "What?" he could feel his eyes start to water up and his cheeks burn until he heard a soft chuckle coming from her, her back turned to him slightly shaking, confusing Hope.

Claire faced him with a smile after calming down a bit. "It was joke." She seriously meant it as a light joke but she didn't expect him to almost cry, though the expression on his face was priceless and just too cute.

Hope stared at Claire until her laughing stopped and she became aware of his staring. "What is it?"

He smiled at her. "Your smile is pretty, you should do it more often." He said while laughing and Claire reached over and ruffled his hair playfully.

-xxx-

"My family?"

Hope nodded. "Yeah, I already told you about my mom, I want to know more about your family."

Claire leaned back against the tree trunk while Hope waited patiently for her answer. Ever since their first meeting, they had always met up at the park after school ended for Hope and after Claire finished her homework or studying in the library at her school. My spent many hours in the park talking and laughing, it was nice and pleasant. It was the only time Claire allowed herself to relax and have fun. When it got too dark, Claire, being the older and more responsible one, told Hope that it was about time he went home and walked him home to make sure he got back safe then she would start heading home.

"I have a mom and a younger sister."

Hope's eyes widened in astonishment. "You're so lucky, I'm an only child."

She smiled. "Yeah, I guess so, though she can be a handful sometimes, I love her regardless…" he nodded. "That's why I want to join Guardian Corps. when I'm older, so I can protect her and my family."

Hope's eyes lit up. "That's amazing! I'm sure you'll do great," he said with a smile. "Wait, but if you have a sister, why do you come here alone?"

"She hangs out with her friends afterschool."

He nodded. "Then what about you, Claire? Don't you have any friends?" he asked innocently.

She shook her head. "I don't." She said simply. "I'm not very sociable and I'm not good at making friends." In school, she often stayed by herself, not that she minded, she liked the quiet and being alone. She wouldn't be able to handle crazy girls around her chatting endlessly about the latest fashions or the latest gossip because honestly, she could care less about any of that stuff. And plus, it just all seemed so troublesome and would rather safe herself from the headache she would get from hanging around them too long.

She also had a tendency to push the people who tried to approach her away like she had done to him earlier, something she regrets. But unlike everyone else, he came back regardless, refusing to give up.

"Then, can I be your first friend?" he asked sincerely.

Claire smiled. "I thought you already were."

Hope exploded in happiness, lifting his hands in the air. "Yay! Now you're my first friend too! But I guess that's okay because having a few good friends are a lot better than having a bunch you don't trust."

She laughed along with him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. "I'm guessing your mom told you that."

He blushed and slowly nodded his head.

-xxx-

Once she closed the school gates behind her, Claire quickly jogged to the park, guilt taking over her for loosing track of time in the library. She moved her feet as quickly as possible, feeling horrible for leaving the kid in the park for so long. She knew that he would always be at the park at around three and now it was already pass four.

Claire turned the corner and ran into the park, eyes searching the entire park for a flash of silver hair. She calmed her heavy breathing and looked around to find Hope.

Was he hiding? Or did she make him wait too long?

No, him suddenly leaving seemed so unlike Hope she thought as she continued searching for him. It was a fairly small park with a couple of swings and a small playground so Claire was completely stuck on where he could have been hiding when she couldn't find him by the time she went around the whole place. Time was ticking away as she was sure that she had walked around the entire park at least twice.

Soon after the fifth time of going around, she had given up searching. Maybe he was tired of waiting for her and left already. Sullen, Claire looked back at the park one last time before heading home.

-xxx-

Friday.

Monday.

Tuesday.

It was already Wednesday and there was still no sign of Hope.

She had even made sure to watch the time in the library and always left a little before three to give her enough time to make it to the park by three, but even so, he was never there.

This certainly was unusual, and it made Claire nervous. What if something happened to him? She could always stop by his house and ask.

Sighing, she walked over to a tree stump and sat down on it, crossed her legs and waited. Maybe he was just late. She was always in a rush when searching for him and when she couldn't find him, she just left.

Suddenly, she heard something in the distance. From where she was, she couldn't make out the sound of it too well. Turning around, she saw that she was the only one there once again. Slowly and quietly, she got up and paced around her surroundings, straining her ears to try to follow the noise.

She heard it again and walked closer to the source of the sound, curious on what she was hearing. Passing the small set of swings, she heard it getting louder as she walked closer. She saw there were thick bushes in front of her and she moved them aside to get a better look at what was behind them.

Claire's eyes widened as she stared at the sight in front of her.

That messy silver hair, that small pale frame. It was all too familiar to her.

"H-hope?" she gasped out. "What are you doing there?"

The little boy jumped from her sudden appearance and slowly turned to her, his eyes red and puffy, obviously from crying. "C-claire…" he sobbed, his voice cracking. She reached forward and grabbed hold of his arm and roughly pulled him out from behind the bush. The second he was out, Hope wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, continuing to cry.

"Hope? What happened?" she asked softly, not wanting to startle the child. Nothing made sense. Why was he crying? Did something happen when she was gone? Did he get bullied?

Claire suddenly felt a fury of anger take over her. If that was the case, she had some serious business to take care off.

Frustrated, she yanked him off of her and looked straight into his glassy eyes. "What happened, Hope?" she asked sternly.

"M-mom…" he cried while shaking, his hands still holding onto her uniform. Claire's eyes soften slightly when the feeling of anger left her as she bent down to his level, her hand lightly grasping his shoulder.

"Did something happen to her?" she asked, feeling her heart break at the sight of his tears streaming endlessly down his red cheeks. She reached out and gently wrapped the tears from his face.

Hope moved his hands to his eyes and she pulled her hand away, wiping his tears as he continued. "S-she's g-gone," he chocked out.

Claire froze.

"W-wha…?" For the first time in many years, Claire couldn't form any words, all the words she wanted to say were caught suck in her throat, not wanting to come out. This couldn't be happening. Sure, it had happened to her and her sister when their father died, but for it to happen to Hope who did nothing but give his endless love and affection to his mom was unnerving, heartbreaking, and just plain unfair.

He was way too young. He didn't deserve this.

And also for the first time, she felt like a complete idiot, her mouth kept opening but no words would come out, eyes wide as she stared in horror, hands slightly shaking as they continued to lie on his small shoulders.

Suddenly, after standing in front of Hope doing nothing, she remembered something.

"Hope," she shook his shoulders a bit so he would look at her and not the ground. "W-what about your dad?"

For some reason, that question made the little boy cry even harder as Claire started to feel guilt bubble inside her.

"H-he said that we-we're moving back to P-palumpolum." He sobbed.

Palumpolum. Hope had mention that once to Claire that unlike her, a Bodhum native, he was born in Palumpolum but moved with his parents not long after, his mom hoping that moving to the beach-side would result in more time for family bonding. But what had been constantly happening with his dad and sudden meetings, that never happened.

"C-Claire, I don't want to go," the little boy cried into her stomach, his shaking hands gripping on her uniform tightly. She bit her lip, feeling her own tears forming.

Hope…

She couldn't stand looking at him so upset, so broken, like he was now. He was usually a cheerful kid, all smiles.

But how could one smile at the death of their own mother?

She quickly wiped away her tears with her fingers. Maybe if she was strong, he would be too…

"I don't want to be leave you," With that said, she could feel more of her tears threatening to spill, a feeling in her chest tightening.

Had she really made such an impression on him? She had tried so hard to push him away in the beginning.

"Silly…" she whispered, her own voice slightly shaking, something that frightened her. She lightly patted his silver head like she always would. And every time she did, he would always give her his trademark toothy smile. He looked up at her, eyes all swollen and red. "I'll always be with you." She tried to smile, she really did, but it was hard.

But she did it for him.

He had said that he liked it when she smiled.

She pulled him off her for a second, firm hands on both his shoulders. "Here, close your eyes for a second." She had to be strong, she reminded herself, not for her— but for him.

Hope did as he was told and waited, suddenly feeling her arms loosely around him for a split second. He then felt something cool fall against his skin.

"Okay, you can open them now."

He looked at her and wondered what she had done that made her want him to close his eyes. He then noticed the necklace she always wore was gone. Looking down, he saw it hanging from his neck.

"Claire… w-why?"

Though it was a little long for him, she thought it looked nice. She leaned forward and brushed his bangs out of the way, lightly pressing a kiss to his forehead. He could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment. She always tended to baby him, not that he really minded. She was like the sister he never had.

"So that I'll always be with you even when we're apart."

-xxx-

Little did I know, with Hope gone from my life, there was nothing to look forward to, nothing to really smile about.

I tried my best to be happy to keep Serah and my mom from worrying.

But one year later, my sister and I suddenly became orphans and everything just went down hill from there…

-xxx-

Chapter nine [END]

-xxx-

A/n: ahh... young!Lightning was refreshing to write, I don't know, this is how I think of her if she was a teen XDD and I hope Hope acts his age (I'm not that good at writing kids orz;;)

And because I'm lazy, I basically copied and pasted the beginning of chapter one into the end of the chapter (lol;;;) but I guess it makes sense now?

On another side note: Lightning and Hope spent at least a month or two together. And every time I would go to type 'Claire' I'll type 'Lightning' by accident lol /fail

And here's some more foreshadowing for you guys 8DD

Preview: "You're apologizing? That's not like you, Farron." He said with a small smirk.

I will love you to death if you review 8DDD

[Last Edited: 9/18/10]