A/N: Lavender - fucking - Brown ruining things as usual. May be a touch of Ron bashing over the next few chapters but it's not terrible and it's needed for the story to progress. Don't like it when Ron's a prat? Well, I don't know how you ever read the original books then. Hope you guys are all doing well and you enjoy this chapter!

"You are Hermione Granger, correct?"

She nodded, scooting closer to Fred and his comforting warmth. He slung an arm over her shoulders in a comforting manner and she leaned into him with a sigh of relief as a wave of pure bliss ran through her body.

The Inquisitor looked on in amusement. He really disliked sentencing people to rot in Azkaban unless they truly deserved it and it seemed as though he wouldn't have to ruin anyone's life today.

"Just brilliant…" He muttered to himself. "Well may as well get on with it. As I assume you know, the spell you performed was highly illegal and had various consequences blah, blah, blah, literally no one cares and since you two are so clearly in love this whole thing has been a waste of my time."

He turned to glare at the trembling little official at his side.

"You failed to inform me of that fact."

Hermione had digested his words and now realised that she should probably speak up.

"Uh, excuse me?"

The Inquisitor looked at her with annoyance.

"What? I told you, you're off the hook."

"I'm sorry, but why exactly?" She trailed off as she saw his irritation grow.

"The Nos Tenent is a binding spell that's illegal to use to bring someone back from the dead or to heal someone, yes. However, as any self-respecting pure blood should know," with this he levelled a glare at Fred "The spell has other uses as well. It's been at least a century since someone was stupid enough to bind themselves in a such a way but the fact remains that as long as the two of were simply young, stupid and in love no one can prove you did it for any other reason."

"I don't – "

The Inquisitor sighed in frustration and conjured a chair, sitting in it with a thump.

"I'm sure Mrs Weasley, that you know it's common in pureblood families for binding spells to be used in place of wedding vows, to secure the family line. To use the spell as such is not illegal, just idiotic. Since the two of you are so clearly in love, I apologise for our intrusion and wish you both the best of luck." He said carefully, trying to convey his message with his eyes.

Hermione was startled but understood, slapping a hand over Fred's mouth as he started to say something about the use of 'Mrs Weasley' in relation to anyone other than his mother.

"Thank you so much." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and apparated away with a loud crack, quickly followed by his disgruntled lackey mumbling something about stupid purebloods and their laws.

She took her hand off his mouth and waited for the explosion that never came. He'd suddenly realised just how close he was to Hermione and no matter how much shit they were in, he was going to make the most of it. She felt the spike of lust through their bond and blushed, trying to get out of Fred's grip but he held on, flipping her over and pinning her to the bed by her wrists. As much as she wanted to be angry with his behaviour, she couldn't help but bite her lip as she realised she was very much enjoying this. His eyes glazed over as her desire merged with his and he leaned down, touching his lips to hers in a feather-light caress. She moaned and pulled him down with such force that he literally fell on her, their lips melding together with the temperature in the room rising as their bodies intertwined and Fred lengthened the kiss, never wanting to let go of the witch in his arms again.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Came a high pitched screech from the door, dragging them out of their daze.

Fred groaned and rolled away, pulling Hermione up with him and placing her in his lap, safely cocooned in his arms. He pressed a kiss to her hair as he tried to come up with a plausible excuse for his irate younger brother who looked as though he'd love nothing more than to find a time turner, go back to when Fred had been hit with that wall and let him die.

At the shriek, the rest of the clan (plus a few others who'd only just heard of Fred's miraculous awakening) walked into the room, only to find an extremely red Hermione sitting in the lap of the aforementioned son and looking determinedly at the ground while Fred was currently engaged in a most intense staring competition with Ron, the producer of that ridiculous squeal.

George was the first to break the awkward silence, grinning like a lunatic at his twin.

"Did you finally tell her?"

Fred's eyes widened and he shook his head at his twin, pleading silently for him to shut it. George bit back a laugh and nodded. Maybe not then.

"Tell me what?" Hermione whispered to Fred.

Colour started creeping its way up his neck and he gulped.

"I'll tell you later, yeah?"

She shrugged and figuring she'd find out eventually, turned back to the problem at hand. Fred heaved a sigh of relief and made a mental note to kill his twin whilst he was sleeping the next time he had the chance. That was something he'd really rather not tell her whilst his entire family was watching.

"What's going on dears?" Said Molly quizzically, taking in their close proximity and Ron's fury with the ease of a mother who'd raised seven children without 'accidentally' leaving any of them in Diagon Alley. She looked to Ron first, knowing if he didn't speak soon he'd explode.

"They were bloody well kissing! They were all over each other! What the fuck is going on?" He hissed angrily, glaring at the two in question. "How could you Fred? And Hermione, my brother?"

Fred knew that Ron was hurting and decided to rip the bandaid off quick, before anyone else got a chance to shove their opinions in his face. However, before he could say a thing he saw the murderous glance in Hermione's eyes and watched as she opened her mouth to speak. She was clearly unhappy with his young brother's tone and the fact that he seemed to think he had a right to weigh in on her personal choices. It probably didn't help that Lavender Brown of all people had just walked in to stand next to him. Oh shit.

"Well, Ronald, that's the kind of thing one does with their husband."