Red vs Blue: The Mahora Gulch Chronicles
Part 1/Chapter 9: Last One Out, Hit The Lights
All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit Ken Akamatsu. I own nothing but how I arranged the words on the document. Oh yeah, Spanish will be designated by slashes instead of quotation marks.
"As far as I'm concerned," Setsuna stated, "I'm square with you."
Quickly, Blue base became a verbal tennis match between Setsuna and Chisame. Even the other two girls were simultaneously turning their heads to the current speaker.
"I saved you from a life of imprisonment," the ghost shouted back, "How the hell are you square with me?"
Heads went to Setsuna.
"Because I didn't kill you back on Sidewinder."
Heads went to Chisame.
"You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor."
Heads went to...you get the idea.
"Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now."
"No you can't, I'm already dead, bitch!" Chisame cackled. "I guess the joke's on you!"
Konoka butted in. "STOP IT!! Stop fighting!!" she yelled, sounding as if she was going to break into tears. "Can't you see that you're tearing us apart?! WHAT ABOUT US?!"
"...what about you?" Setsuna eyed Konoka, not in the least concerned by her tearful eyes.
"We helped you too! And what do we get? NOTHING!"
"Well yeah, but..."
"Yeah, but nothin'." Chisame snorted. "Konoe's got a point."
Konoka smiled at the attention. Setsuna found it rather amusing how much Chisame's acknowledgement meant to Konoka...
But onto more important matters. "I helped them get the flag back."
"Yeah, but you were paid to do that." Haruna folded her arms. "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the Red army prison, it wouldn't have made any difference to us."
Dammit, she had a good point. "Fine, I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. As soon as I have, I'm outta here. What do you need me to do?"
Haruna shrugged. "I have no idea. If you knew how to fix a tank, we'd have you do that..."
Setsuna pondered this for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."
"Wait, you know how to fix Chizu-ne?" Konoka's eyes sparkled with happiness. "I love you."
Setsuna couldn't help but notice something vaguely creepy about that statement.
"Entonces la décias ''tu nos pesos más, yo peso más.' Entonces pusieron los de nuestros cuerpos sobre la escala y fue determinado quién tenía el peso más grande. Después de eso me llamarían Chachamaru la Pesado."
As Chachamaru went on with this story, Asuna couldn't help but groan. "Man, first she doesn't talk at all, and now we can't get her to shut up. Hey, Ayaka, what's she saying?"
Ayaka looked up. "...what're you asking me for?"
"Well, you know...because you're, you're American?"
"I'm not American, you dumbass!"
"But I thought..."
"What."
"...eh, nevermind."
"I'm from Hokkaido!" chimed Makie.
"Nobody cares!!"
"Okay, take it easy, guys," Chisame called. "When I was over at the Red base, I saw that they've already got their jeep fixed. So whatever you do, don't let 'em see us before we get Chizuru back online."
"Okay," Konoka called back. "Even if we get Chizu-ne fixed, we can't turn her over, I mean it's not like we can just lift--"
Within seconds, Setsuna managed to grab the side of the hefty piece of equipment and slam it onto its (or rather, her) treads.
"Oh! Secchan, you're so strong!"
"Alright, since I'm the one least visible, I'm going to head up to higher ground to keep an eye on those Reds. I'll tell you guys if I spot anything."
"Oh! Chiu-chan, can I come with?"
"That kind of defeats the purpose, idiot."
"...what if I'm really, really quiet?"
"Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?"
"Ahahaha...uhh..."
"Seriously. You don't know what it means, do you."
"...maybeeee..."
"Look, don't hurt yourself. Stay here and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that." Chisame floated her way to a hill.
"Tell us if you see any movement," Haruna called, moving over to Setsuna, who was welding the tank. "Hey, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought." She grinned.
"Mm...I wouldn't say I'm mean. I just get hired to do mean things."
"Yeah, but you like it."
"Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do."
Haruna pondered this for a moment. "Soooo let's say I paid you to kill Konoka. You would still do it, right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?"
"Is this a hypothetical discussion..." Setsuna's head turned to the other soldier, smiling, "or should we start talking numbers?"
"Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this anymore."
"Hey, Saotome!!" came the irritated Chisame.
"What?!"
"What the hell is my body still doing up here?!"
"That's part of being dead, Chisame!! Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grapsed that concept yet!!"
"--ugh, let me rephrase that for you, idiot--why the hell haven't you buried me yet?!"
"Buried? With what? All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?"
"We probably have--oh, look, why can't you just ship me home? You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect!"
"Well, Chisame, here's your lesbian lover. Sakurazaki, as one of Chisame's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?"
Setsuna, who had turned to listen to the conversation, nonchalantly turned back to the tank.
"That was a stirring eulogy. Rest in peace, good buddy!"
Chisame glarred at Haruna, before turning to the dead corpse. She hadn't really rotted too badly in the past week, but... "I am not happy about this."
"I have an idea," came Konoka.
No response.
"I HAVE AN IDEA!!"
"We heard you the first time, Konoka, we were just ignoring you," Haruna explained.
Konoka ignored this. "Since you possessed that shrimpy girl, and took control of her, why don't you just possess your own body?" She seemed oddly proud of her idea.
Of course, nobody was impressed. "Oh, I see. So that way I would be living inside my own dead body?"
"Uh-huh."
"Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity."
"Yes."
"...okay, Konoe, I'll be sure to get right onto that. Retard."
"...you're a mean ghost."
"Dude, you stink," Haruna added.
"What?"
"Your body, it stinks."
"Saotome, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body."
"Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it!"
"It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest."
"Get over it!" Haruna rolled her eyes. "You're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?"
"Hey Chiuichii! Look! Birdies! ...why are they flying around in circles?"
"Oh for the love of god..." Chisame attatched palm to face in frustration.
"Okay, I'll go again." Asuna nodded. "I spy something, that begins with..."
"Dirt," Ayaka stated flatly.
"Dammit! How did you know?"
"Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt."
"...yeah, this canyon sucks."
"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?" Chisame called down to Haruna.
"Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again."
"Oh that's fantastic."
"Why would that upset you?"
"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die."
"The Reds dying is a good thing."
"No, Saotome, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Setsuna is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head."
"A.I..."
"Shut up, Konoe. ...and if I don't get it out before she leaves..."
"You won't ever find her again?" Haruna blinked.
"Right."
"So what're you gonna do?"
"I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank."
"--wait, you're switcing sides?!"
"Sorry, Saotome, I don't have a choice."
"Chiu-chan, uh...what, what happens when the Reds out here, stop Secchan, and then they come also with guns, and they find us?"
"I'll try to help you as best I can." Chisame faded from sight.
"Does this mean I should try to kill Chiu-chan now?"
"I tell you what..." Haruna sighed. "Kill me. I promise not to come back."
"Hey."
"Yeah?" Asuna looked up at Ayaka from her laying-down position.
"You ever wonder why we're here?"
"No. I never, ever wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch."
As Chisame drifted into Chachamaru, Chachamaru made a monotonous gurgling noise.
"Huh? What's wrong with Chachamaru?" Ayaka asked.
"I don't care," Asuna said flatly.
"Hey, Chachamaru-san, are you alright?
\Guys, I need to give you...a...warning...wait!/ Chisame grabbed at her throat. \Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!/
"Um...sure."
\No, listen to me! The mean ponytailed woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!/
"Ah, crap..." Haruna sighed. "Konoka, she's almost done fixing Chizuru. I better get ahold of Chisame and tell her--"
Konoka clasped her hands together in an almost giggly glee. "Oh oh oh! Paru please, Paru, Paru, Paru, Paru, Paru, please--"
"Yes, you can be the one who radios Chisame."
"Yay!" Konoka adjusted her headset. "Calling Chiuichii. Come in Chiuichii. This is your close and personal friend, Private Lingshen."
"Huh? You said your name was Konoka Konoe."
"I never said that, you guys did!"
"What? Why didn't you correct us, then?"
"Because I didn't want to be difficult!" Konoka went back to the headset. "Come in Private Hasegawa. Soldier unit Setsuna Sakurazaki almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness." Konoka cleared her throat. "How is your progression?"
"¡Konoe! ¡Nadie aquí está escuchando mí!" came Chisame's angered voice. "¡No mas puedo hablar español!"
Konoka bit her lip, but quickly reached the conclusion that this coversation wasn't going anywhere. "...sheeee says she wants to talk to you..."
Then came Chizuru. "Thank you for activating the M808B Main Battle Tank."
"Shit," Haruna cursed under her breath, "We got trouble."
"Un tanque..." Chisame signaled with her hands that what she was talking about was massive in size, "Grrrande!!"
"Hey, I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language," Asuna stated, rolling her eyes.
"What country?" Ayaka leaned her head back. "We're on an alien planet."
"What're you, a Communist?"
That's when the missle decided to make friends with the base, causing, of course, a blast of a nice size.
With a "boom" and everything.
"SON OF A BITCH!!"
"SON OF A BITCH!!"
"¡MADRE DE DIOS!"
"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle," Haruna complained, placed next to Konoka on the top of the ledge of Chisame's body.
The other girl pouted. "Chiu-chan is getting mad at us."
"Well that's a nice change of pace."
Knowing an attack was coming, the shrimpy Sergeant buckled herself into the jeep. "Ayaka Yukihiro! I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by!"
"Roger that!" Ayaka saluted.
"I'll uh...I'll stay here."
"Yeah." Ayaka glarred. "Stay here and guard the cement ramp. It's vital to our success."
As promised, Evangeline skidded around to the front of the base and stopped long enough to let the taller blonde land herself onto the back of jeep. "Alright, I'm on board!"
"A'ight, here's the plan--"
Of course, missle met jeep before any words could come from Evangeline's mouth. "JUNEBUG!!"
Now that the Warthog was broken, again, the two Reds made a break for it to the secured ramp.
"Wow, back so soon?" Asuna cracked a smile. "You guys win the war already?"
"Yeah...Sarge, did you want to finish telling us the plan now?"
"If we survive this..." Evangeline's eyes were filled with nothing but pure evil, and the smile didn't help matters much, "I'm going to kill both of ya...slowly."
Asuna leaned towards Ayaka, whispering, "Uh, hey, Ayaka? By the way, the ramp is secure."
There was another shot from the blast-happy Chizuru.
Makie poked her head from the hole atop the base. "Hey, what're you guys doin' up here!?"
"The chick who was in the black armor's back!!" Asuna called.
"What chick, the one that stuck the grenade to my head?"
Ayaka confirmed this with a nod.
"Oh...I've been waiting for this!" Makie gracefully flipped to the top of the base. "Hey bitch!!" She darted to the edge, sliding a grenade from her pocket. "Remember me?! I saved something for ya!!"
Her arm prepaired for an overhand toss that managed to soar to the center of the canyon, latching right onto the driver's lap.
Setsuna knew exactly what was up. "Ah crap!"
Back at the edge of the base, Makie laughed, raspberrying the screwed soldier and pulling her bottom eyelid with her index finger. "Nyaaa! Three points, you dirty whore!!"
The grenade succesfully caused a blast.
"¡Dios mío, NO!" Chisame skidded from the base top to her injured ex. "¡Setsuna, Setsuna!"
"Uh..." Asuna's brow quivered. "Where's Chachamaru going?"
"To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre." Evangeline bowed to the charging Chisame. "Chachamaru, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Kagurazka, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amiga... adios."
"Shouldn't we help her?" Ayaka asked.
"Naw..." Evangeline smirked. "That'd just ruin the moment."
Panting, Chisame managed to make it down the hill to the bleeding Setsuna to pop the tank's hatch open and pull her out.
"Chisame, is that you...? It's..." Setsuna coughed. "It's gone, Chisame. The AI is gone...thank you..." Her eyes shut for one last time.
"Crap. Chisame is gonna be pissed, and now she's got a body to kick our ass. C'mon, Konoka, let's get back to base."
"I told you-ne, my name isn't Konoka." Her voice lowered to a menacing tone. "My name is...Chao Lingshen."
END PART ONE
