How The Light Gets In: Chapter Nine

I don't own Rookie Blue.

Please enjoy.

The exemplum should be of the simplest and most obvious sort, deeply moving to those who are willing to look, and to see, without prejudice, that in allowing himself to be at home here, he has crossed the boundaries of his given nature—Malouf


Gail woke with gritty eyes to an abundance of pinks and purples. She groaned and buried her face in the pillow she was clutching.

"Good morning!" came a friendly crooning. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Gail contemplated maiming the girl as her socked feet touched the bedroom floor. She wasn't going to get any more sleep. "Wakey wakey. How do you like your waffles?" She contemplated murder then, slumping down the corridor. Chloe squealed a greeting when Gail dropped onto the bar stool at the counter. "Good morning," she said.

"You're a morning person," Gail said. Chloe beamed at her. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Smile."

"Okay?" she laughed.

"Don't do that either."

"Do what?" Chloe asked again, trying not to let her smile break through at the sight of mussed hair, grumpy-eyed Gail. She was trying to be so intimidating and brash, Chloe knew, but she looked kind of adorable and just grumpy like a child.

"Laugh."

"Okay, Gail," Chloe said accommodatingly, a hint of a laugh tucked into the word. "Waffles? Do you want choc-chip ones?" Gail blinked up at the girl.

"Yes. And coffee."

"Alrighty then! Coming right up!"

Gail dropped her head into her hands and groaned. The girl just did not understand that mornings were for foul tempers and shuffling and guzzling coffee. What kind of fiend was she? And then Chloe started singing and Gail slumped further onto the countertop and buried her head under her hands, pulling the hood of her jumper over her head and ears, stuffing them against sound.

Some time later, a few minutes perhaps, a plate nudged at Gail's arm. She lifted her body just enough to pull the plate towards her and grabbed the fork offered with a childish grip, near about shovelling the warm and delicious meal into her mouth. She groaned and devoured the food.

"Fine, Chloe," she said, finishing her plateful. The bubbly fiend-of-a-girl looked up, confused. "You can stay."

"Stay? This is my house."

Gail glared at her. Why couldn't she understand Gail's train of thought? "You can stay in the position of my…" Friend sounded too familiar. It would give Chloe ideas. Like, that Gail enjoyed her company. "Not totally despised person."

"Gail," Chloe teased, "I feel positively loved. Do you want seconds?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'll make them and do you want to take a shower? Dov and Chris are going to come over in a bit to watch TV."

"How long is a bit?"

"About an hour." Gail glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. 8:23 am.

"You people are disgusting. It's a Saturday. People sleep in on Saturdays." She shook her head. "You can deal with me as I am," she said. Then, rethinking in the light of a better idea, she told Chloe "I'm going back to bed." The waffles slid into place in front of her. "After I eat these."

And she did. She retreated to the spare bedroom and wrapped herself around a pillow and at some point she faintly heard a door opening and closing and the familiar voices of her friends. She also heard Chloe – her new and rather fierce champion – telling Dov off when he suggested they jump on Gail to wake her up.

"You absolutely will not, Dov Epstein!" A crack of hand against skin made Gail smile. Chloe had slapped Dov. Hopefully on the face; more likely on his arm.

"Ow! Chloe, I was just kidding," he wheedled. And then everything was silence and quiet television and Gail drifted off again into sleep.

She shuffled out of the bedroom when it felt like a more appropriate time and dropped into the couch next to Chris. He opened his arms and she fell into him, yawning.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said stiffly. Gail looked up and noticed another bruise had coloured his eye this time. He smiled widely, not seeming to notice it, and she felt an overwhelming affection for this boy. But, naturally, she didn't know how to approach it so she just appropriated his body for her own use and draped her legs over his and used his shoulder as a head rest. "Comfy?" he asked.

"Myeah. D'you think you could eat more candy?" she retorted. "Get a bit softer?"

"I'll work on it." Dov handed him a pillow and Chris tucked it between them. Gail hugged it to her chest. "Wanna talk about it?" her friend – her first friend, really, when she thought about it – asked so quietly that she doubted Dov or Chloe, snuggled up on the love seat two metres away, could hear him.

She sighed. "No."

"Okay." He hugged her shoulders. "We're watching The Walking Dead." Gail spared the television a glance but she'd seen it before so she just allowed the murmurs between friends to soothe her and she closed her eyes and fell into that strange, lethargic space of sleep but not sleep.

"Gail," she heard. The voice was thick, sluggish as though wading toward her through a body of water. "Gail." A gentle shake to her shoulder accompanied it.

She grunted.

"Your phone is ringing." The device was pushed into her hand and she hit 'answer' without thinking.

"What?" she snarled.

"Nice to talk to you too, sunshine," the voice laughed. Gail felt it like cold water dashed against her face and she sat bolt upright.

"Sir," she said unsteadily. She checked her watch but it was only eleven. She wasn't late to work so why was he calling?

"No, no, it's just Oliver. You know that by now, Peck. Listen, Frank was talking to me and we thought, you know, you've done such great work when you could have been napping or whatever it is you school kids do when you get wrongfully suspended from school." Gail felt her lips stretch in a smile. She liked the way he talked. Rambling amicably, just strolling along in his conversation. "So we thought, hey, why not give little Peck the weekend off? And I for one thought that was a great idea. Go shoot some hoops, catch up with your buddies, find out the 411."

"Do you even know people my age, Oliver?" she grinned. She'd never heard those terms un-ironically in her life.

"Excuse me!" he said, faking a hurt tone. "I know people. Your age. Maybe. Yeah, no, I don't," he laughed. "Anyway, the point was if you step into 15 this weekend, you'd better have been arrested, okay?"

"Yes sir," she said. And she revelled in the feeling of not giving a single shit what her mother thought about it. "Thank you."

"Anytime, kiddo. Oh, whoops, Nash and I are heading out. I'm going to make her buy me a sandwich. Catch you later, Peck."

Ending the call, she looked up into expectant faces. "What?"

"Who was that?" Chloe asked.

"None of your business." Gail crossed her arms and stared at the television but the zombie action was paused by Dov – who was a total remote control freak – and she sighed. "Officer Shaw."

"Oh my god" – "The police?" – "Are you in trouble?" – "What did you do?" – "What happened?" – "Why do you assume that she did something, Dov? That's so rude." – "Yeah, not cool dude." – "Ow! Don't hit me! I was just asking – it was just a question. How is that not one of the first things you thought when she mentioned the cops?" – "Yeah it was a question that was rude" – "Okay guys, just stop fighting." – "Ouch! Chloe!" – "I bet Gail didn't do anything wrong, you big meanie" – "she might have – ouch!" – "Chloe, my sun, my moon, I'm sorry" – "Sorry my ass! Your boyfriend privileges are revoked until you apologise."

Gail watched the chaos with glee and a slight smile, still tucked into Chris's side. She wished she had popcorn. It was possible that they were just putting it on like an act; if so, she knew that she had chosen the right friends, who understood what she liked and appreciated. There was little that Gail enjoyed more than watching ordinarily close companions turn on each other furiously. Perhaps that was why she enjoyed the Hunger Games so much.

"Gail I am very sincerely apologetic for assuming that you did something wrong. I promise that I will from here on out give you the benefit of the doubt."

Gail laughed. "You just want to keep making out with Chloe."

"Duh."

"I accept but only because it I didn't you would totally go on a trivia rampage and make my life hell. Chloe, forgive him." Chloe beamed and kissed Dov smack on the mouth. Chris and Gail groaned. "Gross, gross, okay, stop it."

"Okay. But only if you tell us about this Officer Shaw."

"Well, he was calling me about the fact that I got arrested yesterday," Gail teased them. Jaws dropped in shock. "Joking. I work at the station as an intern."

"Oh, right." Dov slapped his forehead. "Your mom is, like, supercop." If they noticed the way Gail shut down at the mention of her mother – and they did, each one of them in different ways: Chris, feeling the way Gail tensed and the suddenly coldness of the hand he was holding; Chloe, Chloe who had held Gail the night before and heard her quiet sobbing, saw the way Gail's mouth clamped shut and eyes tightened; and Dov, who was already berating himself having taken part in a lecture with Chris from Chloe before being allowed inside her home about not being stupid or upsetting Gail because she had a really rough night alright okay so just be nice, saw the ashen tinge her cheeks took on and the way she swallowed around a sudden thickness of words in her throat or maybe they were tears or some other unidentifiable body entirely that was a dangerous lump that Dov had accidently put there with the mention of her mother.

Quick, their darting eyes said. Quick, change the subject, make it safe, make her safe and happy here – and their eyes fell to Dov because that was his mistake and he took in a deep breath, puffed out his chest, and took it on.

"So if you didn't get arrested, what did you do?"

Gail's words were quiet and quick: her mother hadn't cared so why would they? "I helped them arrest a murderer."

Dov went slack jawed with the image of Gail, that same fierce Gail who had taken his side against the enormous hulk of a bully, taking down a real-life criminal. He nodded. He could totally see it.

"How'd you do that?" Chloe asked. She knew more about policing than her boyfriend from hanging around her godfather and she knew the division would never put Gail in danger, or any danger they couldn't quantify and account for.

Gail shrugged. Chris nudged her. "Come on, that sounds really cool. Tell us."

"Well, there was this guy," she started. Seeing their interest, she continued, giving factoids here and there and noticing with wonder at the way they nodded and mumbled faint praises and there was a strange feeling of rightness, or togetherness, that she hadn't really felt before. A feeling like everything was coming together nicely and it was odd because she'd only been out of that house for one night. A feeling that acknowledged yes, she had enjoyed her work, she had enjoyed helping them and using the skills she had however reluctantly honed, and it was easy to accept that feeling outside the constant pressure that she had to. She knew she had to go back there to that but for the time being she was incredibly comfortable where she was and with whom. And she hoped that when she did, she could take some of this with her – a slacking in the terror that she felt day in and day out that this was the day she failed, this was the day that everything unravelled beneath her feet.

"Gail," Dov announced when she was done because it was still his fault that he had upset her, shaken her off balance when this morning had been all about the opposite, and also because he was genuinely impressed, "that is awesome. You are awesome." He looked around. "Does anyone else feel like we should be bowing or something? Maybe we should give you a title. Captain Gail?" he offered.

"Her Eminence," Chris chimed in.

"I like Queen," Chloe shrugged. "It's regal and simple."

"Well, I like The Almighty and Poweful" Gail said, smiling tentatively at Dov. He grinned back.

"Look! A smile!" Her smile morphed to a scowl, prompting yet more teasing. "Sorry, Gail, no take backs. We all saw that smile. I'm writing it in my diary tonight. Dear Diary," he mimed scribbling on his lap, "Gail smiled at me today. It was awesome."

"You think a smile is good?" Chloe scoffed, leaning over her boyfriend. "I got a hug."

Chris touched Gail's forehead lightly with the back of his hand. "You feeling alright? You haven't got a temperature but do you have the sniffles? Maybe a headache or aching in your joints?"

"Fuck off, you guys," Gail grumbled. She hid the smile that grew at their teasing in Chris's shoulder and gave her friends the middle finger.

"Aww, we're just teasing."

"Oh no, little Gaily is sad," Dov cooed. "We should cheer her up."

"But what does Gail even like?" Chris mused. "Coffee."

"Donuts."

"Oh! Instruments of torture!"

"Trivia!" Dov contributed.

"Isn't that what they just said?" Gail questioned. "Instruments of torture?"

"Oh ha ha," Dov snarked. "You're a bundle of laughs."

"Holly!" Chloe contributed, overriding the snark battle between her new – and tentatively very good? – friend and her boyfriend. Her contribution froze that discussion, turning all eyes to her.

"Who's Holly?"

"Yeah. Who's Holly?" Dov asked and his tone, compared to the puppy-like confusion of Chris's, was slightly sleazy. Gail snapped her eyes toward him and scowled fiercely.

"She's my tutor," Gail said.

"Just your tutor? Because I saw a hu-ug," Chloe sing-songed. Gail's glare, transferred then from Dov to Chloe, promised a painful death was being planned with loving care just for her. Chloe gulped.

"I hug people sometimes," Gail bit out. "See?" She gestured between herself and Chris. "I'm hugging Chris."

"Actually, I would describe this as really similar to being used as a footrest – which I am very grateful for, thank you," he finished in a rush, seeing that ice cold stare then turning towards him. Their friends snickered away happily, enjoying the bickering.

"Shut up," Gail told her friend.

"Okay."

"I hugged Holly," she said to the room, "Because she made me macaroni and cheese for dinner and that is one of my favourite food groups. I don't see any of you winning my affections like that."

They all said the appropriate agreements, "uh huh" and "sure whatever you say" teasingly among them, that went along with a statement like that – heavy in denial – and exchanged wicked grins.

But Holly…Holly was, for now at least, off limits to them; she was off limits even to Gail. She felt like – and it was a big idea, it was a dangerous idea for her full of indecision and careful ignorance – she felt like picking up Holly, picking up the idea of Holly, would leave her fingerprints all over her: grubby marks that pointed to a culprit that could be followed and linked to her; little besmirches on the surface of this glinting clean new concept. And she didn't want that.

So she put a stop to the discussion with a quiet, "Can we not talk about Holly?" and an even more quiet "please?" and then it was Chloe's time to shine, moving them effortlessly into the next topic.

"Dov!" she squealed, slapping his arm excitedly. "Oh my god, that's a great idea," she said, leaving the others in the dust because one, when had Dov ever had a great idea and two, he hadn't said anything. But Chloe's mind worked on a level separate to theirs and she knew exactly what she was talking about. Probably. "Where did you say that cute café was?"

He blinked thoughtfully. "You meant the one with chocolate?" She nodded. "Oh man, guys. That place is awesome. Literally every meal has chocolate in it somewhere. And the drinks too. And the brownies will blow. your. mind."

"Awesome," Chris nodded.

"So? Do you want to go?" Chloe asked, hugging Dov tight around the neck until he turned a vague shade of purple and choked out a request to please let him go. She kissed his cheek and loosened her hold. "Please guys? Please, please, please?"

Gail sighed. "I'm only going if Chris does."

He looked relieved. "I was about to say the same thing. It's just not safe being the third wheel on one of their dates.

Chloe squealed her excitement, ignoring the insult. Or, possibly, it was an attempt to rupture their eardrums in revenge. "Yay!" She went into action, slapping Dov's shoulders with excitement – making Gail wonder whether Dov ever had a chance to heal or whether he was perpetually black and blue from her ministrations, which led to thoughts of a private nature that she never, ever, ever wanted to associate with Dov and Chloe again – and shoving at Gail to go shower. The latter action, of course, stopping when Gail glared at her and slowly, proving she was doing it because she wanted to not because Chloe wanted her to, slowly stood to go and shower.


"Huh. This is a nice place," Chris nodded, looking uncomfortably like he was lying. Gail stifled a laugh. The café was cute – by Chloe standards. Which meant everything looked like it had been plucked from the pages of a storybook and it didn't look like they had been enlarged very much. The seats were small, the plates and cups even smaller. The humorous side effect being that Chris looked like he was playing tea party with a five year old girl, perhaps, a teacup pinched between large fingers, and cautiously making his way around fine china and trying not to break the small chair. Dov and Gail were managing fine, barely, but Chloe the tiny human that she was, was right at home.

"It's something else," Gail agreed. Chris sent her a pleading look but she said nothing. Watching him struggle was just, mm, delicious.

"What does everyone want to eat?" Chloe asked. She didn't wait though and ordered something of nearly everything when it came their time to order. Unsurprisingly, the waitress was perky and enthusiastic and sweet - Gail shuffled away from her, fearing contamination. Chloe looked euphoric, like she had found a long lost sister. Dov looked confused. Chris was still trying to figure out how to sit without his knees coming up to bump him in the chest.

Gail's phone beeped from her pocket and she froze before pulling it out slowly. She had only a few contacts in her phone that didn't have a specific ringtone and one of those was her mother. She flipped it over to see the scene and breathed a sigh of relief. Holly.

Her relief turned into fluttering nerves.

Holly. Holly was texting her. She unlocked her phone and read the message Hey. How are you?

Gail held the phone carefully in her hand. The others, after a short period free from Gail-snark, noticed her staring like the device was about to explode and as they had done all morning, exchanged looks that said 'you ask', 'I'm not asking, you ask', and 'for gods sake guys, I will ask'.

"Gail? What is it?" Chloe asked, lowering her mug of sweet, sweet white-choc hot chocolate.

"A text."

"Who's it from?"

Gail looked up at Chloe and, feeling the insidious residual effect of the kindness the girl had shown her, admitted, "Holly."

"Ooh, Holl-ooph!" Chloe elbowed Dov hard in the stomach, cutting off his teasing. She hadn't even turned away from Gail, keeping concerned eyes on her friend.

Gail's expression was calm and collected but the way that she was sitting stock still and clutching at her phone, message still lit up on the screen, was a dead give away that something was, if not wrong, not completely right.

"What did she say?" Gail, hesitating briefly, showed Chloe the message, the red-head leaning over to skim the line. "That's so sweet," she sighed, eyelashes fluttering. "She's checking up on you. What are you going to say?"

Gail froze. Panicked. "I don't know."

"That's a weird thing to say," Chris commented around a mouthful of tiny sandwiches. "Why would you say that?"

Chloe and Gail shared exasperated glances – "boys" it seemed to say – before Gail finally reminded herself that she wasn't supposed to be able to tolerate Chloe and hardened her expression.

"Why don't you know what to say?" Chloe prompted. Chris, now listening more closely, nodded in understand. She didn't know what to say. That made more sense than saying she didn't know how she felt. He returned to the sandwiches.

"I don't know."

"Haven't you texted her before?" Gail nodded. "Was it hard?" Shook her head no. "Then why is it hard now?"

"Because. I don't know. Because she picked me up yesterday when I was upset or something and I kind of fell asleep. Whatever," Gail grumbled, hitching her shoulders, uncomfortable. "And she's friendly. And I'm not."

"So just tell her that you're fine."

"But that could come off as too dismissive. I do want to talk to her and she was nice, it's not like I don't appreciate that." She lowered her phone, message still bright, to the table and traced her fingernail anxiously over the table top, around and around and around a watermark left by some long-ago mug.

"I don't see why you're freaking out," Dov said. "Just do what you do with us and tell her to mind her own business because you're too cool for her." Gail glowered at him. Chloe sighed. Sometimes her boyfriend was an idiot.

"I don't want to be mean to her," she admitted. "Holly's different." And her friends couldn't help but smile because there was something reverent in Gail's tone that they hadn't heard before and that was beautiful. "But all I know is how to be a bitch. I'm not good at nice."

"Just be yourself, Gail. I think you'll be better at nice than you realise." Chloe then offered Gail Dov's brownie, ignoring his protests, and Gail took the entire slice.

"Hey!" Dov complained. "Also, hey, how come we've never heard about Holly before today?"

"Because she's cool and you aren't. You guys are nerd and she is a slightly cooler brand of nerd. Also, on a completely unrelated topic, I am leaving now." She lifted her bags onto her shoulders. "Chloe, you're slightly less incredibly annoying. Good job. I'll bring you a sticker on Monday." Chloe knew she should be offended that Gail was treating her like a six year old but when she got unreasonably excited about a sticker, she realised she didn't have much space to argue and so instead gave Gail her beaming smile. "Later, nerds."

It was as she was stalking out of the café that Dov groaned. "I'm going to have to pay for her." Chloe rubbed his neck soothingly and pulled him into a kiss to placate him.

"It's okay, baby. We'll order some more food and you can tell me all about your new trivia box set."

Chris looked up then, panicked, as he realised that Gail had left him alone with the couple. "We were supposed to be a team, Peck!" he called after her. "No man left behind as a weird third wheel!" But she either couldn't hear him or didn't care and continued walking.

Gail dropped her things onto a bench and opened her phone. She deliberated for five minutes, thumbs hovering over the keyboard, before finally typing a question.

Where are you?

The response came quickly. Duke's. Working. Why? Are you okay?

And Gail realised she hadn't responded to Holly's original text and that the emotionally apt girl was probably concerned. Gail fidgeted, pulling at her necklace, before replying.

Kick any smelly kids out of kid area. Be there soon.

Duke's, Gail had noticed when Dov had driven them to the café, was only a kilometre or so down from the chocolate café shop monstrosity. She hoisted her bags up and started the trek.

"Hey," Gail greeted Holly. The brunette head snapped up and her body followed. Mostly. She hit the desk and sat back down with a thump and a steadily reddening face.

"Hi."

"Hey." Gail scuffed her shoe on the ground and Holly, who thought she had more space to be embarrassed given that she had voluntarily barrelled into her own desk at the sight of Gail, smiled at the shy gesture.

"You said that already," she pointed out. And her tone was just slightly unsure, cheerful as useful but careful, that it made Gail bristle and forcibly revert to her normal sarcastic self.

"You know, it sounded familiar." Gail shrugged. "Are all the nasty little children gone?"

"You can pretend to hate children all you like but I know of at least one kid you don't hate." Gail scoffed. "Lucy put up your drawing. Was it a horse?"

"It was a dragon, Holly." Gail glared.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't have my glasses on when I looked at it. And it was dark."

"No excuse," Gail mumbled as she made her way over to the beanbags. "Horse." An unforgiving snort burst from her nose as she shook her head, feigning disgust. "A horse."

Holly hid a smile behind the pile of textbooks she carried over. She waited until Gail had chosen and settled into the beanbag she wanted and then dumped them next to her own, dropping down into it.

"Don't you have to be at the desk?" Gail asked, curling up.

"Nope. There aren't any customers at the moment." She turned a page and they sunk into a comfortable silence, disturbed only when Gail stretched and curled up again or demanded that they move so that she could follow the little stretch of light that straggled down through one of the windows high above.

After the third time they moved so Gail was in that long rectangle of sunlight – the glass interrupted it on it's way from her nemesis, the sun, so she was fairly confident it wouldn't burn her fair skin – Holly sighed. "You're like a cat," she half-noted, half-complained.

"Meow," Gail replied without a shred of humour. The seriousness of it as a statement had Holly in fits and Gail allowed herself a small smile. That was new. Making someone laugh like that.

Finished laughing, Holly watched her friend for a time. "Is everything okay?" she finally felt ready to ask. Gail had never replied to her text and now she was staring blankly at the ceiling with a half-smile that made Holly's neck itch.

Gail shrugged. "No," came her blunt confession. "I'm sad." She rolled over to look at Holly. Well, at Holly's collar because she couldn't quite muster the courage to meet her eyes. "My mother is kind of full on and I walked out of my house yesterday after kind of yelling at her." The words fell out without command. Gail ordered herself not to call them back in. She watched them marching toward Holly, watched Holly see them, acknowledge them, pick them up and study them, highlighting and underlining certain words. It wasn't until she was satisfied with her understanding that Holly allowed herself to react and Gail watched that transition, rather in awe of this careful, careful girl.

She didn't look bored or annoyed. She looked curious. And a touch sad.

"Are you going back?" she asked.

"Yes." And she was. She had to. She was a Peck – it wasn't a cloak she had chosen to play dress-up that she could shrug off, fold, and stuff back in the toy chest. If it were anything material at all, she thought, it might as well be a tattoo inked onto her at birth. PECK splashed blue on her breast bone.

"You could stay with one of your friends, you know. Take another night to sort things out." She dragged a finger down the spine of the book resting on her lap. "You could stay with me?"

Lips curled up in a tiny smile at that. "Thank you," Gail said. "I made my point though. I think. I've never really…disobeyed her before."

"She did seem forceful," Holly agreed. "The offer still stands though. If you want it. You can stay with me."

Gail nodded. She heard. She wouldn't accept, possibly ever, but the offer touched her and she pillowed her head on her hands and Holly returned to her book because she had nothing left to say on that topic, her offer sitting happily between them, and Gail took as long as she wanted to stare at Holly. Finally, feeling the weight of it on her face, Holly shifted and looked up.

"Are you admiring how pretty I am or did you want something?" she smirked.

Gail shrugged. "I was thinking."

"Must be painful for you," Holly sympathised. Gail half-heartedly lobbed a pillow in Holly's direction. It didn't land anywhere near the other girl and was viewed by both of them as a rather lame effort. "Wow. You really don't do sports, do you?" Gail smiled to herself. Oh, if only Holly knew. "Okay. So you were thinking?" she prompted.

"Yep."

"About what?"

"Stuff."

"God, it's torture with you." Gail grinned into her hands. "What kind of stuff?"

Gail shrugged again and fiddled with the ends of her sleeves. She brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "I have to go back to school Monday. When are we going to study?"

Holly frowned. "Oh. I hadn't thought about it." She pulled her phone out and checked her timetable. "I'm free Tuesday and Friday afternoons after four."

Gail had to rearrange a few things in her mind but nodded. "That'll work. Weekends?"

"I work here all weekend. College, remember?"

"Right. Do you…" Gail bit her lip. "Would, could I." She heaved a sigh and clenched her jaw shut for a moment. Paused. Tried again. "Would you call the police if, I don't know, I just happened to spend most of my weekend here?"

"Stalking me?" Holly grinned and returned to her book. "Should I be flattered or afraid?" Gail made a vague gesture with her hand that suggested a touch of both. "Gail, I'm pretty sure that we are friends. You can spend one hundred per cent of your weekends here with me and I would be okay with that." Gail mumbled a little and Holly nudged her with her shoe. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Holly glared at her. Gail huffed, sending a little hair fluttered before it settled again on her cheek. "I said, we… I don't know. We are friends. I guess. Ever since you helped me find the books I needed. Or whatever."

"I thought we were study buddies," Holly said quietly, automatically, while her brain was trying to get around the fact that Gail was suddenly being adorably shy and speaking into her hands and admitting that they – she and Holly! – were friends.

"We can be," Gail backtracked quickly. "Right. Study buddies."

"No! Friends is good," Holly blurted out. "Friends is good," she said again, nodding firmly when Gail looked sceptical.

"Fine. We're friends. I guess. I mean, you weren't my first choice," she said with a shrug and a sigh, "But you know. You win some, you lose some."

Holly narrowed her eyes. "Rude." A jab to Gail's ribs followed – lightly, because the girl was still bruised – and when she overbalanced and mostly rolled from her beanbag, Gail's hands shot out to steady her.

Steady Holly. Whose face was very close to hers. Gail's. Gail's face was close to Holly's. Gail's eyes flitted over Holly's face, examining the sharp nose, the little dent in the bridge there where her glasses rested, the arch of eyebrows and the cheeks that bunched up in a smile and her lips and Gail leant forward following some pulling string. She felt it corded in her wrists from where her fingers touched Holly's skin, felt it winding up and around biceps and through her shoulders and collarbones wrapping extra tight around her sternum and making a loop around her neck, following the line of her spine and hugging her hips, and when it tugged when it pulled she had to follow because it tightened against her bloodstream and made the blood pump unsteadily and was she getting enough blood to her brain? was she breathing at all? And she leant forward because her body demanded it of her and pressed her lips against Holly's cheek to the left of her lips and then retreated, falling slack into the beanbag and bringing her knees up, curling around herself.

Holly blinked and gaped. Her teeth clicked shut when she forcibly closed her mouth, not wanting to embarrass Gail or push her away. She noted the burgeoning red cheeks and the closed eyes hidden under wayward hair.

"Thanks," Holly said finally, whether for not letting her fall or for the kiss she didn't know. Lie. It was for the kiss. It was for not falling but it was for a newer type of falling that had everything to go with a cheek that felt it was glowing with a golden burning imprint of soft lips and a swooping in her stomach.

Gail snorted into the beanbag. "You're welcome," came her muffled reply.

Holly decided not to think too much on the kiss. It didn't mean anything. Only, it sort of meant everything. And not in the I-kissed-a-girl-and-I-liked-it kind of way. In the, this is a girl who doesn't express affection comfortably if at all and she just smiled at me, kissed me, accepted me as a friend. And that was the reason Holly's fingers shook as she turned the next page in her book.

"Want to learn about renal failure?" Holly asked when she could talk without her breath stopping short at the stupidly beautiful face that blinked at her from her side.

"Is it going to make me want to throw up?"

Holly paused, gnawed on her lip a little. "Maybe?"

"Swell. Just what I've always wanted. Go ahead." Gail snuggled into her seat – she seriously had to get one of these for her bedroom, she was so comfortable – and blinked wide blue eyes over at the brunette. The girl wasn't feeling the same shortness of breath or electric-sting she was on her lips and that was okay. Maybe if she knew what it meant, she would have wanted Holly to feel it but since she was blissfully unaware or purposefully ignorant she just revelled in the pleasantness of the day and the company.

She sighed out into the space and smiled. It was safe here. Warm. Just like it had been the first time she had stumbled into it. Only now, Gail knew, the warmth she felt was Holly's, not the store's, a latent sunshine she carried with her on her skin and spread to the glow of burnished brass doorknobs and worn bookshelves and novels that smelt like summer and pages like crinkled leaves.

"Okay." Holly cleared her throat. "So. Renal failure is…"


"You really can stay with me tonight, if you want," Holly offered as she closed up the store. Gail sat on the countertop as the brunette counted out the notes and coins from the till, marked some papers, and stuffed it all into the safe.

"No." Gail looked down at her phone. No calls or messages waited for her there. "I have to go home."

They wandered out of Duke's together – Holly sending a cheery wave to Vic, who grunted and swigged from a nondescript bottle Gail was fairly sure he shouldn't be drinking from, and Hans – and Holly looked like she wanted to push. She wanted to kidnap Gail and take her home and feed her and tuck her up safe and warm in a bad but she couldn't do any of those things so instead she walked shoulder to shoulder with Gail until they reached her car and then wrapped her fingers around the strap of one bag and placed it in her backseat. "Come on," she said with a jerk of her head and a smile, "I'll drive you."

"My house or yours?" Gail asked, narrowed eyes suspicious.

"Yours." She perked up. "Unless you want to stay at mine?"

"No. My house."

"Fine," Holly grumbled. She drove, taking the turns that Gail pointed out. When they did arrive at the house, Holly gripped tight to the steering wheel. "Text me when you get in. Just so I know you're okay."

Gail huffed. "They'd never hurt me." Her tone was confident. That, at least, physically that was true. And she doubted that her mother had ever thought of what she had done as hurting her.

"Still," Holly insisted. "I'm not leaving until you text me."

"You," she said, hopping out of the car, "are a giant nerd. Do whatever you like." Gail hesitated after she grabbed her bags. She crouched a little and, leaning her arms along the window, looked in and sighed. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

Holly grimaced. "Actually, my mom is taking me and Luce to visit our aunt. It's out of the city and we'll be gone till late."

"Oh." Gail chewed on that for a minute before patting the car in goodbye and walking toward her house.

Holly swore under her breath. "Gail!" she called out, leaning over to call out the window. The blonde faltered and turned. "Text me?" She saw a shrug. "Text me!" she called again and this time it wasn't a question.

Gail entered the house and looked around. Empty. She checked each room. Empty, empty, empty. Then, finally, she came to her mother's study and a warm light framed the door and she could hear from within the scratch of pen on paper and she took in a deep breath, knocking with a crooked knuckle. The scratching stopped. The door yielded under a light touch and Elaine looked up into the open space, at her daughter, over half-rim glasses and attempted a smile.

"Gail," she greeted. "Good evening."

"Mother."

"Will you be staying here tonight?" she asked. Gail might have missed the slight quaver in her tone if she hadn't been straining her ears to catch everything. The slightest disapproval, anger, whatever, would have had her defences up tight.

"Yes."

"I'm glad. There are, I think, a few things that we should discuss. I understand if you would like to wait until tomorrow?" Elaine offered. Her hands spread open a little, the pen drooped to the table top, in a gesture that made Gail settle in the chair opposite her because it was uncertain and tentative and her mother had never been those things in front of her before and maybe this meant something good for her, something positive between the two of them. Maybe they could talk like they were meant to – like two people, or like mother and daughter, or like any combination of two people in which one of them didn't feel like absolute shit when the other was finished.

But first she pulled her phone out. My mother is home. You can leave now.

Will you be okay? Holly's reply came instantly.

Yes. Then, remembering the kiss – it had been friendly, she reassured herself, and Holly hadn't seemed to mind. It had just fit into the moment and she couldn't bring herself to regret it or understand it so she didn't bother she just knew that it had been right – she added Goodnight, nerd.

Goodnight kitten. She could feel Holly's satisfaction at giving her a nickname – no doubt likening her habits of following the slab of sunlight and curling up and stretching and aloof demeanour – and sighed in mixed exasperation and amusement. This girl didn't let up even once, didn't let the snark touch her. She liked it.

Meow.

"Gail?" Elaine's voice was quiet as it intruded on the space her daughter had forged between herself and her phone. Gail blinked up at her, wary. "Would you care to talk now?"

"Why? Am I distracting? Wasting too much of your time?"

Elaine looked down at the pages in front of her, not to see the words, just to duck her head against the hard words. "No. Of course not."

It wasn't like her mother to surrender. So Gail, though she might have wanted to retreat to her room, nodded her head and pulled her feet up underneath her. "You can…we can talk now. If you want."

"I would like that."

Okay there we go. I have a bit of the next chapter planned so it'll be up eh at some point. Let me know what you thought. I love reviews and they make my writing better and faster, just so you know. Oh, and I love people to talk to – I'm unicyclehippo on tumblr as well if you didn't know. You probably did. Oh - I'm writing a dragon rider AU for Golly. It's called Here Be Dragons. I might put that up soon as well. This fandom is seriously ruining any chances of my graduating so thanks for that. Anyway, happy reading, Readers :)