A/N: Sorry this update took a while, I've been busy at uni with assessments (and I also forgot to upload it, it has been on AO3 for a couple of days…ooops)
At the end of the shift, Raf knocked on the office door.
"Are you two joining us in Albie's or…?" he stopped, knowing the glare he would receive if he finished that sentence. Or do you two have other plans?
Since meeting Bernie, Serena had been much easier to work with, she seemed lighter, happier, and he'd often seen her smiling brightly when she checked her phone. He believed her when she said they were just good friends, but seeing them work together today he could tell there was something else bubbling underneath that friendship. They probably hadn't even acknowledged it themselves, but he decided to try and get Serena to talk about it next shift. He wanted Serena to find happiness, she had been through so much in the years he'd known her and he knew she probably felt like she didn't deserve it.
"Of course," Bernie was glad she had been accepted by Serena's surrogate family. It was a similar situation to meeting Jason – part of her wanted to prove she was good enough for her.
She grabbed her jacket from the stand where Serena had moved it to, after Bernie had unceremoniously dropped it over the back of a chair that morning. She had tutted and Bernie had just grinned sheepishly from behind her fringe.
They were just about to leave the room when Mr Hanssen appeared, apparently out of nowhere.
"I had a sergeant major used to loom up on people like that once, The Ghost we used to call him," Bernie commented, to no one in particular.
Serena smirked, it would be a good nickname for Henrik, who had a habit of turning up on wards completely unannounced, without a sound.
"Fascinating. Ms. Wolfe, Ms. Campbell a quick word please," Serena groaned, not wanting to be held up much longer. She rifled through her purse and told Fletch, who was waiting impatiently with Raf and Morven, to get a booth for them and handed him some cash to get the first round in.
"Shiraz for me and Ms. Wolfe will have a double whisky," she followed Hanssen back into the office. Bernie was behind and picked up Fletch murmuring to his co-workers "Oooh, speaking for the Mrs, are we?"
She felt the colour rising in her cheeks, what was that supposed to mean? Were Bernie's feelings for Serena that obvious or had Serena said something to the team before she had arrived on the ward. She tried to put it out of her mind and closed the office door behind her.
"I managed to catch the end of your surgery and I must say you make a formidable team. I'm sure we can make this arrangement a great success, if AAU have picked up those trauma skills so quickly."
"Ah, well, we've had an excellent teacher," Serena smiled and patted Bernie's forearm, resting her hand on her wrist and squeezing it slightly. She shuffled and lowered her gaze, partly because she was still not entirely comfortable with receiving praise from people, but also because she was desperately trying not to read anything into the contact.
"Of course, it also helps to have such an accomplished surgeon at the helm," now it was Serena's turn to blush. She'd had her fair share of compliments in the past, but hearing it from Bernie was somehow more special.
"Quite, well I will require a meeting with you both regarding your recommendations for how we will set up this minor trauma unit. However, you've both had a long day, shall we say Monday, nine o'clock?"
They both nodded, glad they didn't have to stay any later, Serena could practically taste the Shiraz on her tongue and wanted to get to the bar as quickly as possible.
"Excellent, I'll see you then. Have a wonderful evening, ladies," he said, with a nod towards them. Serena could have sworn she saw him raise one eyebrow and the corner of his mouth in amusement, but she ignored it.
XXXXX
As Raf, Morven and Fletch made their way to Albie's, there was only one topic of conversation:
"What do you reckon is the deal with those two?" Fletch mused. "They had an undeniable chemistry in theatre, and Serena has been staring at Bernie the entire shift, like a schoolgirl with a crush on a teacher."
"I don't think there is anything going on, per se, they are just friends which means you've lost the bet Fletch, you can buy the second round!" Raf was quite pleased with himself, he didn't usually win bets with Fletch and had ended up buying a lot of drinks for him in the past.
"They may just be friends now, but you saw the way they looked at each other. They are perfect for each other. I reckon they just need a push in the right direction!" Fletch had a mischievous spark in his eye, he had a plan.
"Fletch let them be, they'll work it out themselves eventually," Morven wasn't sure about intervening, she didn't want it to go wrong and incur the inevitable wrath from Serena.
"Look, don't you reckon it's about time she had a bit of fun, I reckon we just innocently start a conversation about dating and stuff, whether they've got their eyes on anyone and then let them take it from there."
XXXXX
They found a booth at Albie's, enough space for the two consultants to join them, and Fletch got the drinks in. A few minutes later Bernie and Serena came through the door. Morven smiled and waved them over. They slipped onto the bench, squeezing Raf slightly against the wall. Serena was in the middle and to make sure Raf had enough space she shuffled slightly closer to Bernie. Their arms brushed but neither of them flinched away and Raf and Morven shared a knowing smile.
Fletch came back with the drinks, muttering that one of the ladies should have gone because they'd have got their drinks a lot quicker. Conversation turned to their plans for the weekend, Raf and Fletch were taking the kids to the zoo as they'd both managed to get a day off at the same time. Serena had organised this, knowing that the two of them deserved some quality time with the four Fletchlings. Bernie's eyes widened when she heard that Fletch had four kids.
"Bloody hell, and I thought my two were a handful! My husband always said they were angels but when I was back from tour they were absolute terrors, especially Cam!"
"We manage, Raf has been a godsend, taking us in like he did," Fletch knew he would never be able to repay his generosity, even though he was always saying it was just nice to have so much life and commotion in his house.
Morven was working over the weekend and Fletch started to tease her, finding a way to turn the conversation round to dating.
"Oh, that's a shame, you won't be able to get down to the soup kitchen. I'm sure your presence will be missed!"
"I'm just a volunteer, Fletch, there's plenty more," she replied, missing the point completely. Fletch put his head in his hands and Serena chuckled.
"I think he meant you'll be missed by that dashing young man that you've been talking to,"
Bernie blanched, putting two and two together. So, this was the F2 that Cam had been talking about! She smiled to herself, not sure of whether to tell Serena later.
"He's a friend, that's all, and he knows about Arthur so I think that's probably put him off,"
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Morven. You're a lovely young woman and if he still seems interested even after knowing about that, why not get to know him a bit more?" Bernie piped up, she liked Morven and, if she was ready to start dating again then she could imagine her and Cam being good together.
"What about you two, have you got your eyes on anyone? Consultants at the top of your field, you must have potential suitors falling at your feet," Fletch prompted, the conversation was going far too slowly for his liking and he wanted to turn the attention to Bernie and Serena.
Oh shit, thought Bernie. She couldn't have this conversation, what could she say: yes, I do actually but it's your dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual boss? Looking for a way to get out of the spotlight without lying directly she said "What about that obstetrician that gave you his number at the fundraiser, Serena, have you got in touch with him yet?"
Everyone's face fell, including Serena's, but Bernie didn't notice because she was too busy looking at her hands and internally kicking herself. She knew that they would try and encourage Serena to contact him, it was evident that they wanted their mother figure to be happy, and deep down Bernie knew she didn't want Serena to get in touch with him, because if she did, she would lose all hope that Serena might possibly want her.
"Oh well, it's been a busy week, you know, I haven't really had time to think about it," Serena's voice was faltering. This was the second time Bernie had mentioned Paul, and this time in front of her work colleagues. It was, for Serena, a confirmation. Bernie didn't think of her as any more than a friend.
Fletch was the first to recover his disappointment. "An obstetrician you say? Well, with his knowledge of the female anatomy he'll definitely be able to show you a good time!"
Everyone at the table laughed, and then were startled by Bernie's incredible honk, which set them all off again. Serena smiled wryly, without much humour.
"Hilarious, Fletch, unfortunately Bernie already made that joke. You two should get together and try and think of more original content,"
Fletch grinned at Bernie. "Great minds think alike, Major, although I'm sure you've got just as much experience in that area," he winked and Bernie's face turned into a shade that matched Serena's wine.
She wasn't bothered that they knew she was gay, they must have known when they set Serena up on the date; it was the fact that Fletch had aimed the wink directly at Serena.
An awkward silence settled between them, which was quickly broken by Morven.
"Why don't you just go for it, you deserve to do something for yourself. You've been working so hard with the deputy CEO stuff and Jason, recently."
Serena wasn't sure why she was hesitating. If she'd never met Bernie and this had happened, she'd have gone for a few drinks with Paul and would probably have ended up dating him, even if it was only for a short while. She knew that Bernie was the reason she hadn't already called him, but now…
Even if she and Bernie were destined to always be friends, it would be a betrayal of her feelings, and Serena had always lived with a mantra of being true to oneself. Still, she wasn't sure if she could go the rest of her life holding out for the possibility of Bernie. One date couldn't hurt.
"Fine, just to shut you lot up, I'll text him," she huffed. Fletch begged her to let him write the text, but there was no way she was going to trust him with this.
Hi it's Serena Campbell, sorry this took so long it's been a busy week! Do you have any spare time this weekend to meet for a drink?
"There, done, are you all happy now?" She tried to glare at them but she couldn't pretend to be annoyed for long. Bernie made an excuse to go and get the next round, to congratulate them all for a good shift. She was just paying when Morven appeared next to her, to help carry them back to the table.
"Thank you, Ms. Wolfe," she said shyly.
"Please, call me Bernie, what on earth are you thanking me for?" Bernie asked, tilting her head quizically.
"For teaching today, I really enjoyed it and I learnt so much,"
"Did you enjoy it enough to decide to go into trauma surgery long term?" the young doctor showed promise and Bernie knew she would excel in any field she went into.
"Not quite, I'm pretty set on general, but also thanks for what you said about me, you know, being lovely. It's nice for people to see me like that, rather than as a widow,"
"It's true Morven, and like what you said to Serena, you deserve to do something for yourself. If you feel ready then go for it! Also, if you want any more help or experience just give me a call."
"Thanks, Bernie. Are you okay?"
"Yes of course, why?" Immediately she went into defensive mode, could feel the walls building up.
"You just didn't seem too enthusiastic about Serena going on that date." Bernie gawped at her, had she really been that obvious? She had, she thought, perfected the deadpan, unreactive expression, but evidently not. Fletcher saved her from a response.
"Come on you two, half the alcohol will have evaporated by the time you bring it over!"
They sat back down just as Serena's phone buzzed on the table.
Great to hear from you, tomorrow at six suit you?
She checked with Jason, he already had plans with Alan, then replied confirming a place to meet.
The conversation soon moved onto anecdotes about the Fletchlings, ending with Raf and Fletch arguing about who was stronger after Mikey had decided he was going to become a bodybuilder and wanted them to teach him how to do press ups.
"Let's settle this once and for all," Raf challenged him by placing an elbow on the table. Not one to turn down a challenge, Fletch grinned and grasped his hand. Raf won fair and square after about 30 seconds of gritted teeth and odd grunting.
Fletch accepted defeat fairly graciously and turned to Bernie. "Who do you reckon would win out of you two?"
Bernie and Serena simultaneously coughed into their drinks, taken completely by surprise, but Serena turned to Bernie with one eyebrow raised. "What do you think?"
"Well, I probably have the edge in that department," she said, referring to her years of weight training.
"It's not the dog in the fight it's the fight in the dog!" Serena challenged, mirroring Raf's actions and reaching onto the table. Bernie shuffled round to get at a better angle, then clasped Serena's hand into her own.
"It's your funeral," she smirked but Serena just replied "We'll see," while staring her down.
There was no way either of them were going to let the other win, and at Morven's count they start. Neither dropped eye contact and they both strained against the force. Bernie did have the edge, and Serena's hand started moving down but somehow they both started to loosen their grips.
The crackling electricity that was there in theatre had returned and they entered their own bubble. They stared at each other, and a shiver ran down their arms. Neither wanted to be defeated and neither wanted to let go but they weren't putting any effort in anymore.
The others looked at each other awkwardly, it was obvious the two consultants had become oblivious to the world around them, but after a few seconds something snapped in Bernie's mind. She remembered where she is, who she's with, and her resolve returns. She increased the pressure slightly and Serena caved, totally distracted. She leant back and folded her arms, a smug smile on her face.
Serena wasn't sure what had just happened, but she could feel Raf's eyes burning into her, and Fletch and Morven shared a pointed glance. She had to get out of there, quickly.
"Right, better be off then!" she announced "Places to be, people to see!" She nudged Bernie, who looked like the cat who'd got the cream. "Shift it, big macho army medic, or has your head got so big you can't stand up anymore?"
Bernie stood too, and said her goodbyes to the group. She didn't want to spend much time with them without Serena as she was afraid of what they would say to her. The two of them walked out together, but when their shoulders brushed Bernie flinched away. She was now analysing every action and how it would look to people around her.
They stood awkwardly at Bernie's car, she'd had to park in the visitor spaces further away from the hospital.
"Well, have fun tomorrow," she mumbled, looking at the car keys. I don't want you to go out with him a tiny voice whispered at the back of her mind.
"I'll try," Serena replied, trying to keep her voice light. I'd rather be going with you, she thought as Bernie looked up at her through her fringe.
They were standing so close, Serena could smell the whisky on Bernie's breath. She unconsciously leant closer, but the minute movement seemed to startle Bernie who stepped back quickly and the thick air between them evaporated into the night.
"Goodnight, then," she croaked, as Bernie hurried to the driver's side of the car. "G'night" is the hushed response she gets.
Bernie climbed into her car and slammed the door closed. Stupid, stupid, stupid coward, she rested her head onto the steering wheel. Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you close that gap? You idiot.
After a moment of self-deprecation, she shook her head and started the engine, vowing to put it behind her and be happy for her friend.
XXXXX
You stupid, stupid woman, Serena thought on the walk back to her car. Why did you agree to that? Why did you let that moment pass? Why couldn't you just have been brave for once?
When she got to her car she straightened her shoulders, lifted her head up and resolved to put it behind her and stay friends with Bernie. Paul might just be the distraction she needed.
A/N: please don't kill me! (the slow burn will continue though… *-*)
